There was a season when Sarah and I were basically roommates running a household together. Life got difficult. We got stressed. We let our marriage slip to the back burner without ever really deciding to.

In this chat, I'll share about the weekend that turned things around for us. I'll share what actually thawed the frost between us (including one rainy afternoon sitting in our parked car that I still remember vividly), why the warmth of your marriage is the soil that connection in the bedroom grows out of, and one small step you can take this week to add a little warmth at home. A marriage drifts toward cold on autopilot. The good news, the real good news, is that warmth can be rebuilt, in any season. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

🏖️ Abundant Live: For four weeks this July, Sarah and I walk with couples live through the most marriage-changing parts of our Abundant course. Enrollment is open through Sunday. www.canafeast.com/abundantlive

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

Imagine taking your wife out to a beautiful dinner. You finish your appetizer, your entrée, and dessert while she has barely touched her first course. Then you sit back, satisfied, while she stays at the table hungry and unfulfilled.

St. Francis de Sales once used an extended dining metaphor to talk about married love, and I think it can teach us husbands something we really need to hear.

In this conversation, I'll share what the Catechism teaches about the purpose of sex in marriage, why a slower and more attentive approach leads to deeper pleasure and connection for both of you, and how a simple dinner date can reshape the way you love your wife.

Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it.

Resources mentioned in this episode: 📖 Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales.

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

This is a touchy subject, and I almost didn't record it. What do you do when you have real feelings about your wife's changing body? Maybe it's weight. Maybe it's the way pregnancy, stress, illness, or just the years have changed her. Maybe you feel guilty for even noticing.

This conversation is not about your wife. This is about what's happening in our own hearts as husbands. In this discussion, I'll share why your wife's body is not a project to manage, what it looks like to love her the way Christ loves the Church, and whether a husband can ever bring up health without leaving his wife feeling one ounce of shame (there's a way that heals and a way that wounds).

I'll also share something Sarah said recently that prompted me to talk about this particular topic in the first place.

If your desire feels more complicated than it used to, you are not alone. There is a holy way forward.

Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it.

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

Here's something that might surprise you. Some of the most common themes in my Holy Desires coaching calls, both group and one-on-one, have very little to do with sex itself. Three out of the four biggest brakes on a couple's sex life actually live outside the bedroom. Sometimes a struggling sex life is the canary in the coal mine, an early signal that something else in your marriage needs your attention.

In this discussion, I'll build on last week's four-categories conversation and zoom in on what this looks like in everyday married life. I'll talk about why chronic stress is one of the biggest brakes on sexual desire for both men and women (and how it can sneak up on a household), and I'll share two practical moves any husband can start this week to claw back some margin and put real joy back into your home.

Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it.

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

82% of the men in my current Holy Desires class are dealing with some kind of difference in desire with their wives. If you are in that 82%, brother, you are in good company. I want you to know that there is real hope here.

In this conversation, I'll share the four lenses I use to understand what's actually going on underneath low or mismatched desire: 1) the quality of your relationship, 2) wounds from the past, 3) physical and mental stress, and 4) satisfaction with sex itself.

Then we’ll dive into that first category. It’s the one that is easy to overlook for many of us! I'll share why you need to prioritize your marriage and what that looks like, practically speaking. You’ll hear a jolt of inspiration, too, with a reminder of how your marriage is your pathway to heaven.

Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it.

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

Confession time. For years, my first instinct when something felt off in my marriage was to fix it. Diagnose the problem, apply a solution, move on. Turns out I was using the wrong mental model.

Most of us have inherited a mechanical way of thinking about marriage. Your marriage needs fuel. It needs a tune-up. If something is wrong, find the broken part (or the broken person) and fix it. Although well intentioned, this metaphor can quietly reinforce unhelpful assumptions and unrealistic expectations.

In this discussion, I'll share why the mechanical metaphor falls apart under real-world pressure, why a garden is a much more accurate picture of what God designed marriage to be, and what it looks like to cultivate your marriage even when it has been in a long season of drought (spoiler: there are no shortcuts, and that is actually good news). Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it.

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

If things feel distant in your marriage right now, I want you to remember something really important: you already know what it feels like to be close to your wife. It's in your memory. A specific night, a specific look on her face, a moment when everything felt right.

In this conversation, I'll share what happened when I asked a group of Catholic husbands to recall their best dates with their wives. I’ll walk you through a simple, five-step exercise to write your wife a love letter she won't forget (all you need is a pen, some paper, and about fifteen minutes).

Finally, we’ll talk about why this whole thing follows a pattern you already know well but maybe you never connected it to your marriage: the Mass itself.

Whether you're in a great season or a hard one, this is something you can do this week.

Grab a cup of coffee and let’s chat.

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

Today, I'll share three things I've learned about what it actually looks like to prioritize your marriage.

First, I think most of us need to get curious again. We're resourceful in every other area of life, but when it comes to marriage, we wing it.

Second, I'll talk about humility, the willingness to look in the mirror and ask the hard questions about what I need to change, not what my wife needs to change. I think that's actually what headship in the family is really about.

And third, I want to challenge you on whether your marriage is actually a priority, or just something you say is important while your time and money go everywhere else. Your marriage is your vocation. It deserves more than leftovers.

Grab a drink and let's talk about it.

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

I was on the Doug Hinderer Show this week talking about physical intimacy from the husband's perspective. It was a great conversation. But a woman called in and shared something that's been weighing on me since. She said she avoids sex with her husband because it feels purely physical. I gave her an okay response, but I didn't go far enough. She deserved more. So I'm recording what I wish I would have told her.

First, I'll talk about the question of obligation. There are voices in the Catholic world that say it's sinful to turn down your spouse. That's just not true.

Second, I'll share why "it feels purely physical" is a really important clue. The Church's vision of sexuality is that it's a body language, a reflection of the love and connection you share as husband and wife. If that connection isn't there outside the bedroom, something important is missing.

I also talk about leading by example, building the bond first, and letting the physical intimacy flow from it more naturally. This whole conversation is really about one thing: your heart matters. Your experience matters. If something feels off, don't force your way through it. Pay attention to it. That feeling is pointing you toward healing, and healing is possible.

Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it.

🎙️ The original interview on the Doug Hinderer Show (Marriage Unhindered, Relevant Radio): https://relevantradio.com/2026/03/growing-together-in-marital-love/

I also mention my Holy Desires course: https://www.canafeast.com/holydesires

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets

This is the replay of Day 4 of the Dealing with Differences in Desire challenge — a workshop for Catholic husbands.

Over 300 men registered for this four-day experience, and Day 4 was different from the rest. After receiving vulnerable, honest feedback from the brothers in the workshop, I threw out my prepared script and dedicated the session to addressing the real themes that came up throughout the week.

Here are some themes that we cover:

Sex as communication — not just something you do, but something you say. Why marital intimacy is the ultimate body language.

Addressing the hard questions that came up during the challenge: Why does so much weight fall on the husband? What about NFP and the physical toll of childbirth? What do you do when you feel like business partners instead of lovers?

A personal story from my own marriage — how the Lord handed me a mirror and showed me that I'm a lot more difficult to live with than I thought. (The humility is real.)

We also covered insights from the Gottman Institute, the Love Languages (and how physical touch relates to sex) and more.

I ended with an invitation to continue the journey inside Holy Desires, my 8-week formation for Catholic husbands.

If this episode resonates with you, I'd encourage you to do two things:

1. Tell your wife one thing you learned this week that shifted how you see your marriage. Then ask her what she thinks.

2. If you feel called to go deeper, learn more about Holy Desires at canafeast.com/holydesires.

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🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams

Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it!

>>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets