Honesty On The Table

In Episode V, the gentlemen of HOTT unpack the power and influence of education in the United States. Among the minority and low income communities across the country, acquiring a formal education is generally marketed to be one of the most effective, legal tracks to generational wealth. However, is that true? Presently, in hopes of gratifying this “wealth theory”, students are registering for majors and professions that lack personal interest, amassing educational loan debt–which briefly or severely stunts their wealth potential–coupled with regretful feelings of taking on such a commitment.

If many of the notable Top 10% U.S. earners were dropouts or barely finished with a bachelor’s degree, how does that reflect the validity of post-secondary education granting students their highest earning–and personal fulfillment–potential? What is required to establish generational wealth if higher education is no longer suitable? This curiosity empowered the men to ask such questions, share their thoughts, and key facts that are alarming as well as unsurprising.

After the consensual engagements between the sheets of beds, couches, and Tulum BnBs, Life inevitably throws a situational curveball that physical intimacy brings--questions of commitment and if the sexual partner could be "The One". As tension mounts one ponders, "Where will this go?" "Outside of sex, how much do I care about this person?" "Do I like them? Even worse, am I fond of them enough to envision a future with them?!"

In other cases, some do not encounter these questions because they have been hurt and are healing, witnessed how love can hurt and remain hesitant or noncommittal, and/or did not cross the sexual threshold at all. Overall, in many respects, people do not practice nor comprehend what genuine love and intimacy can be for them due to their intricate, personal experiences. Thus, episode four addresses and unpacks these common themes. From first love testimonies to lessons learned from heartbreak, the gentlemen of HOTT unveil what love, and those experiential moments, have taught them.

Following an identity, manhood conversation, it is only necessary and provocative to discuss one of the ways we use and embrace our manhood, through sex. Please be advised, we are NOT going to be explicit about positions, partner preferences, or body counts. We're going to go deeper than that. Despite this description being succinct, we assure you that the episode will satisfy and exceed expectations.

As we dive into the season, we acknowledge that marriage, or any lifetime commitment, is worthless without personal investment and mastering self-awareness. Thus, we must ask, "How did we become the man, woman, non-binary person we are today?" "Who, and under what circumstances, has assisted us in establishing this identity and are we more true to ourselves or to an ideal?"

As black boys, our first image of a man was our father or a male figure of stature and intrigue. On HOTT, we address our relationship with our fathers, its significance in how we established our identity, and how it influenced our external relationships-professional, intimate, etc.-as we matured, or not, as men. Topics as such are pivotal to identity formation and the ways in which we practice and normalize "masculinity", "black maleness", and what it means to be a "man". These terms are quoted to emphasize the need to challenge and exercise them subjectively and fluidly. Moreover, it is to encourage men to think, act, and live autonomously and no longer feel compelled to exert toxic, self-degrading actions in an effort to preserve their "manhood".

Prior to delivering this first entrée of social thought and brotherly banter to your listening and viewing tables, we provided samplers to some of our trusted people. A popular reaction would be, "What do you know about marriage and you’re not married?". Our reply was, “Why wait to experience and learn on the fly when you can be proactive? The preparation is just as important, if not more, than the execution”. Hence, while you’re in a committed relationship, situationship, or single, why not begin to ask yourself the tough questions to foster healthy habits and ideals if marriage is a goal? Also, we think it is pivotal to share these thoughts—and trepidations, with reliable, honest folks such as your friends and loved ones to not only normalize having these conversations, but to build an understanding of what it is you want in a marriage or if marriage is for you at all. If we cannot take accountability now as individuals then what good will we be as partners in a coveted union?