Hope for the Home with Jerry and Becky Drace

From castle visits in Scotland to a single daffodil left on the counter each spring, Jerry and Becky talk about why celebrating traditions and milestones matters in a marriage.

They swap favorite memories — a Scottish castle, walking the Great Wall of China, a frozen Niagara Falls — and argue that it's the thought behind a gesture, not its cost, that makes it meaningful. They run through a calendar's worth of lesser-known "couple" holidays (Cuddle Up Day, National Spouses Day, Kiss Day, Proposal Day, Husband and Wife Appreciation Days, Hug Day) as prompts for small acts of celebration, and discuss how planning things together — leaning on the word "we" — builds lasting family tradition. They close with Psalm 118:24 and 2 Corinthians 9:7 on cheerful giving.

Topics discussed:

• Favorite shared travel memories and traditions
• A calendar of lesser-known "couple" holidays
• Why thoughtfulness matters more than expense
• Planning celebrations together as a couple
• Keeping a journal of family memories
• Psalm 118:24 and 2 Corinthians 9:7

Content note: this episode continues the prior week's discussion of sexual intimacy in marriage, including pornography addiction, cohabitation statistics, and factors that can hinder physical intimacy between spouses.

Wrapping up their two-week look at sex within marriage, Jerry and Becky turn to what it takes to prepare for and protect sexual intimacy as a couple.

They identify several "spoilers" to intimacy — pornography, demanding work schedules, letting children take over the marriage bed, grief, prolonged separation, workplace or church "isolation" with the opposite sex, career success that breeds contempt, and friendships that blur boundaries. They discuss why couples who cohabitate before marriage statistically divorce more often, the importance of full accountability with passwords and devices, and the value of intentional communication — calls, texts, decompression time — when a spouse's job keeps them away or drained. They close with Song of Solomon 4:1 and Hebrews 13:4 on marriage and the marriage bed being honored.

Topics discussed:

• "Sexual spoilers": pornography, work, children, grief, separation, isolation, success, friendship
• Cohabitation before marriage and divorce statistics
• Accountability with devices and passwords
• Decompressing after high-stress jobs before reconnecting
• Long-distance marriages and deployment
• Boundaries with the opposite sex at work and church
• Song of Solomon 4:1 and Hebrews 13:4

Trust and respect are the currency of good counsel between spouses — but what happens when one partner isn't willing to receive it? Jerry and Becky dig into the give-and-take of marital advice.

They outline what it takes to give and receive counsel well: trust, genuine and blameless motivation, commitment to work through problems, and faith in a spouse's good intentions. Becky admits she sometimes has to resist interrupting Jerry before he finishes a thought, and the couple discusses the temptation to vent to best friends instead of working things out with a spouse. Drawing on a biblical-counseling framework, they cover compassion, respect, honesty, prayer, and the fruit of the Spirit as pillars of loving counsel, closing with Proverbs 12:15 on heeding wise counsel and a reminder to seek a trained Christian counselor when needed.

Topics discussed:

• Trust and respect as prerequisites for giving and receiving counsel
• Genuine, blame-free motivation when offering advice
• Avoiding the trap of venting to friends instead of your spouse
• Compassion, respect, and honesty in marital counsel
• Praying for a spouse's growth rather than their change
• The fruit of the Spirit in marriage communication
• Proverbs 12:15 and James 4:17
• Finding a qualified Christian counselor

What does healthy physical affection between husband and wife look like — and where's the line between tender and inappropriate? Jerry and Becky take on public and private displays of affection this week.

They contrast couples who ignore each other over cell phones with couples who hold hands and stay present, and discuss why introducing your spouse and giving them undivided attention communicates respect. Jerry reflects on his signature "Power of the Touch" message, tracing the healing touch of Jesus toward a man with leprosy and the woman with an issue of blood, and the couple discusses how children absorb the affection patterns they see modeled at home. They also touch briefly, without dwelling on specifics, on a public figure whose commencement remarks about Christian family values drew media criticism.

Topics discussed:

• Appropriate vs. inappropriate public displays of affection
• The danger of phones replacing face-to-face connection
• Introducing and including your spouse in public settings
• The "Power of the Touch" — Jesus's healing touch in Scripture
• The account of the man with leprosy in Luke
• How children absorb affection patterns modeled at home
• Cultural messaging around masculinity and marriage

This week's Hope for the Home turns to something surprisingly foundational to a strong marriage: good old-fashioned manners.

Jerry and Becky explain how courtesy — opening doors, saying thank you, helping with chores — builds respect, admiration, and even romantic love over time. They share family stories, including how their grandson Levi learned to pull out chairs for his twin sister Hannah and for Becky, and how their son Drew's college friends learned to greet elders respectfully. The couple walks through the nine qualities of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, discusses how to respond when a spouse lacks manners (1 Peter 3:1 on winning over a difficult spouse through conduct), and closes with a look at honoring aging parents and grandparents, including a story about the deep respect for elders they observed while traveling abroad.

Topics discussed:

• Good manners as "taught and caught" in the home
• Teaching children courtesy toward parents, teachers, and guests
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 and the nine qualities of love
• 1 Peter 3:1 on winning over a difficult spouse
• Honoring aging parents and senior adults
• Leviticus 19:32 on respecting elders
• Observing respect for elders while traveling abroad

Marking six months on the air, Jerry and Becky dig into a simple but powerful marriage habit: debriefing each other on the events of the day.

They discuss why meaningful conversation at day's end communicates care, and how professions like law enforcement, pastoring, and nursing make full disclosure impossible — while still requiring couples to share the emotional weight of a hard day. Becky recalls their volunteer work with a disaster-relief chaplaincy team, and Jerry tells of a moving conversation he once had with a stranger on a bus about where he was on 9/11. They talk through the idea that most of a person's conversation is spent by the time they get home from work, the value of small daily rituals like a bedtime word of love or a quick prayer before kids head to school, and Proverbs 15:31 and Hebrews 2:1 on the importance of truly listening.

Topics discussed:

• Debriefing your spouse at the end of the day
• Careers that limit what can be shared at home (law enforcement, pastors, nurses)
• Volunteer disaster-relief chaplaincy experiences
• Why conversation "runs out" before you get home from work
• Small daily rituals: bedtime words, morning prayers
• Proverbs 15:31 and Hebrews 2:1 on listening
• Seeking Christian counseling when communication breaks down

Jerry and Becky Drace tackle a quiet marriage-killer this week: neglect. Drawing on decades of Hope for the Home conferences, they unpack what it looks like when a husband or wife stops including their spouse — at home and in public.

They distinguish passive neglect (unintentional distancing) from active neglect (deliberate exclusion), and walk through categories of emotional need — feeling heard, understood, supported, appreciated, cherished, and safe. Becky shares how Jerry's support of her decision to return to college in her late sixties made her feel valued, and the couple discusses spiritual neglect within families, urging fathers especially to lead in prayer and Scripture reading at home. They close with Amos 3:3 ("Can two walk together unless they are agreed?") and Colossians 4:6 on gracious, well-seasoned speech, plus a homework challenge to identify moments of neglect in your own marriage.

Topics discussed:

• Passive vs. active neglect in marriage
• Emotional needs: being heard, understood, supported, cherished
• Spiritual leadership and daily family devotions
• Fathers modeling prayer for their children
• Amos 3:3 and walking together in agreement
• Colossians 4:6 on gracious speech
• Setting shared purpose and goals as a couple

In this week's episode, Jerry and Becky Drace focus on tone, arguing that how something is said often matters more than what is said.

They contrast soft, measured speech with harsh or sarcastic words, pointing to Jesus's own restraint in raising his voice and the story of Elijah hearing God in a "still, small voice" rather than in wind, earthquake, or fire. They share a moving memory of a man who, decades into adulthood, realized he had never once heard his father say "I love you," and talk about the importance of fathers praying aloud with their children. The couple closes with homework for listeners: write down "love words" you'd like to hear from your spouse, and use that list to shape the words you offer them.

Topics discussed:

• Tone of voice versus word choice
• Jesus's restraint in raising his voice
• Elijah and the "still, small voice" of God
• The lasting impact of hearing, or not hearing, "I love you" from a parent
• Fathers praying aloud with their children
• The fruit of the Spirit as a guide for speech
• Harsh words versus encouraging words
• A "love words" exercise for couples

Content note: candid discussion of pornography addiction, including statistics on children's early exposure to explicit content.

Jerry and Becky Drace tackle a chapter on comparison, and much of the conversation centers on how pornography and unrealistic media images set marriages up to fail by comparison.

They cite statistics on the scale of pornography use in the U.S., including how young children are first exposed to it, and discuss it as a form of infidelity even without physical contact, tying the discussion back to the biblical story of David and Bathsheba. They also talk about appropriate dress, maintaining health and attractiveness for a spouse without obsessing over it, and the difference between outer beauty and inner character, referencing Proverbs 31 and Song of Solomon. Becky shares how her own experience with cancer and chemotherapy changed her physically without changing the couple's commitment to each other, tying it back to 1 John's teaching on not loving the things of the world.

Topics discussed:

• Comparing a spouse to unrealistic media or pornographic images
• Statistics on pornography use and addiction in the U.S.
• Children's early exposure to explicit content
• Pornography as a form of infidelity
• Modesty and appropriate dress
• Maintaining health and attractiveness within marriage
• Outer beauty versus inner character
• Proverbs 31 and Song of Solomon on beauty and character

With their 55th anniversary approaching, Jerry and Becky Drace walk through the traditional wedding vows line by line and ask why so many couples struggle to keep the promises they made on their wedding day.

They discuss the rise of cohabitation before marriage, the meaning behind vow phrases like "for better or worse" and "in sickness and in health" — including a story about a woman caring for her husband through a serious degenerative illness — and why forsaking "all others" applies to more than physical faithfulness alone. Jerry shares the sobering statistic that roughly 40% of the weddings he has personally performed have ended in divorce, even among couples who identified as Christian, and the couple discusses the difference between being sorry you got caught and being truly repentant. They close by distinguishing broken promises that are merely delayed from those that are outright denied.

Topics discussed:

• The meaning behind each line of the traditional wedding vows
• Cohabitation before marriage and shifting cultural standards
• Caring for a spouse through serious illness
• Divorce statistics among couples Jerry has married
• The difference between being sorry and being repentant
• Forsaking all others beyond physical faithfulness
• Scripture on God's promises never failing
• Keeping smaller, everyday promises within a family