Hope for the Home with Jerry and Becky Drace

Jerry and Becky turn the mic over to their own listeners, sharing reader-submitted advice on what it takes to build a rewarding, lasting marriage.

Drawing on years of letters and comments gathered through their Hope for the Home conferences, the couple work through listener suggestions one at a time: valuing a spouse's opinion even when you disagree, giving your spouse more attention than you give to others or to screens, refusing to give a spouse the silent treatment, scheduling dedicated time together, and being willing to talk openly about things you don't fully understand. They share stories from their conference counseling, including a wife who described her husband's devotion to sports as a "sexless mistress," and a child's drawing that left himself out of the family portrait because he felt unnoticed. They also share an update on Becky's new book, "The Bright Side of Blue," releasing nationwide this month.

Topics discussed:

• Valuing a spouse's opinion even in disagreement
• Giving a spouse more attention than screens or other people
• Avoiding the silent treatment in marriage
• Scheduling regular one-on-one time together
• Being open about things you don't understand in each other
• A story about feeling emotionally "present but not there"
• Becky's book, "The Bright Side of Blue"

In a special Thanksgiving edition, Jerry and Becky trace the holiday's roots in American history and challenge listeners to make gratitude a lasting family practice.

Becky shares a favorite childhood Thanksgiving memory of her extended family's annual hog-butchering tradition, while Jerry recalls a snowy Thanksgiving from his own boyhood. They then walk through the history of Thanksgiving in America, from early expressions of thanks by Spanish and French explorers and the Jamestown colonists, to the Pilgrims' voyage on the Mayflower and the Mayflower Compact, to George Washington's first national Thanksgiving proclamation and Sarah Josepha Hale's decades-long campaign that led President Lincoln to establish it as a national holiday during the Civil War. They reflect on how holidays can be difficult for those grieving a loss, and encourage listeners to use the table to give thanks and pray together as a family, closing with a call for national unity and gratitude.

Topics discussed:

• Family Thanksgiving traditions and memories
• Psalm 107 as a Thanksgiving psalm
• Early American Thanksgiving observances by explorers and colonists
• The Pilgrims, the Mayflower Compact, and religious freedom
• George Washington's and Abraham Lincoln's Thanksgiving proclamations
• Sarah Josepha Hale's campaign for a national Thanksgiving holiday
• Coping with grief and loneliness during the holidays
• Encouraging gratitude and unity as a family and a nation

In a rare in-studio interview — unusual for this era of the show — Jerry and Becky welcome longtime friends Vic and Joyce Winburn, married 57 years, to talk about raising children, discipline, and passing faith to the next generation.

Content note: one guest briefly describes experiencing harsh, physically abusive discipline as a child.

Vic and Joyce share their spiritual upbringings, including how a family friend and mentor helped shape Vic's faith after a difficult childhood home, and Vic's career as a college athletic trainer, including his years at Marshall University in the years following the school's tragic 1970 plane crash. The couples discuss raising two daughters with different personalities and interests, one of whom homeschooled her own children and one of whom is married to a pastor now battling cancer. They talk candidly about discipline: Vic describes growing up with harsh physical punishment from his own father and intentionally choosing a gentler approach with his own children, while Joyce credits their daughters' faith more to their own walk with the Lord than to specific parenting techniques. The conversation closes with reflections on grandparenting and letting adult children raise their own kids without interference.

Topics discussed:

• Guests Vic and Joyce Winburn's 57-year marriage
• Mentorship from a family friend who became a father figure
• Vic's career as an athletic trainer, including at Marshall University
• Raising daughters with different personalities and interests
• Homeschooling and its effect on family time
• Approaches to discipline across generations
• Supporting a family member through a cancer diagnosis
• Letting adult children parent their own way

In the final chapter of Jerry's book "44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage," the couple explore what it truly means to say "I love you" and keep that love alive for a lifetime.

Jerry and Becky break down the four Greek words for love — eros, philia, storge, and agape — and explain why a marriage built only on eros (attraction and pleasure) struggles to survive without the deeper commitment of agape love. They share a C.S. Lewis quote from "Mere Christianity" on how quieter, committed love keeps a marriage running long after the initial spark fades, and discuss statistics showing that second and third marriages divorce at increasingly higher rates than first marriages. Becky reflects on how she and Jerry built their marriage on shared faith and open discussion of hard topics before marrying, and they close by encouraging listeners to say "I love you" to their spouse and children daily. Scripture references include Proverbs 5:19 and Philippians 1:6.

Topics discussed:

• The four Greek words for love: eros, philia, storge, agape
• C.S. Lewis's reflection on "being in love" versus staying in love
• Divorce rate statistics across first, second, and third marriages
• Building a marriage on shared faith and open communication
• The importance of premarital conversations about career and calling
• Proverbs 5:19 and Philippians 1:6

Content note: this episode includes discussion of an abusive relationship (a spouse who was physically struck) and pornography's impact on a marriage.

Jerry and Becky unpack the difference between decisions grounded in feelings versus decisions grounded in fact and commitment, arguing that lasting marriages need both.

They explain that while most people fall in love and marry based on feelings, a marriage's durability depends on commitment as a fact and a choice, not simply an emotion that can fade. The couple discuss divorce statistics showing that second and third marriages fail at even higher rates than first marriages, and share cautionary stories, including a woman who repeatedly married men struggling with addiction, and another whose husband became physically abusive after the wedding. They talk about how family-of-origin patterns shape expectations in marriage, why premarital counseling should dig into real, specific questions, and how commitment can sustain a couple through seasons when feelings of love ebb. They close by discussing common fears in marriage and Proverbs 4:1 and Mark 4:9 on listening well.

Topics discussed:

• The difference between feelings-based and commitment-based decisions
• Divorce statistics for first, second, and third marriages
• A pattern of repeatedly marrying partners with addiction issues
• A story about a marriage that turned abusive after the wedding
• How family-of-origin patterns shape a marriage
• The importance of specific, in-depth premarital counseling
• Fears husbands and wives commonly carry into marriage
• Proverbs 4:1 and Mark 4:9

Jerry and Becky discuss what it really means to be present for a spouse, not just physically in the same room, but emotionally engaged and available.

Referencing Dr. James Dobson's advice to spend meaningful daily and weekly time together, they describe practical rhythms for couples: talking daily, dating weekly, and getting away quarterly. They discuss how easy it is for couples and families to sit together while everyone is absorbed in a cell phone, and how that erodes communication over the years. Jerry recounts a story of a young pastor who built a thriving ministry but nearly lost his family in the process, and the couple emphasize balancing career and ministry demands with real time for a spouse and children. They also mention a friend's son-in-law currently facing a difficult cancer diagnosis, closing with Amos 3:3 and Ephesians 5:15-16 on walking together in step with one another.

Topics discussed:

• Dr. James Dobson's guidelines for couple time together
• "Dialogue daily, date weekly, depart quarterly"
• Cell phones and distraction at the dinner table
• Balancing a demanding career or ministry with family time
• Traveling together versus in separate vehicles
• A friend's son-in-law facing a cancer diagnosis
• Amos 3:3 and Ephesians 5:15-16

Content note: this episode discusses alcohol and drug addiction, underage drinking, a story involving a fatal drunk-driving accident, and pornography use within marriage.

Jerry and Becky tackle a hard-hitting chapter on breaking the harmful habits that quietly erode a marriage and a family, from substance abuse to screen addictions.

They walk through statistics on alcoholism in America and discuss how habits formed in childhood homes often carry into adult marriages, arguing that addiction begins as a series of small choices rather than an unavoidable disease. Jerry shares a sobering story about a father whose two sons were killed in an alcohol-related accident, and the couple discuss the dangers of normalizing drinking around children. They also address the rising prevalence of internet pornography and its financial and relational toll on families, the "BookTok" trend exposing kids to harmful content, and the importance of parents monitoring school libraries and cell phone use. The episode closes with Proverbs 5:21 and Romans 13:12 as a call to walk in the light.

Topics discussed:

• Alcoholism statistics and the generational cycle of addiction
• A story about a fatal drunk-driving accident involving two young men
• Prescription pain medication misuse
• Underage and college drinking statistics
• Internet pornography's impact on marriages and families
• Monitoring children's access to books, libraries, and cell phones
• Proverbs 5:21 and Romans 13:12

Jerry and Becky Drace explain why a shared sense of humor is one of the best tools for building a strong marriage and family, using laughter, funny memories, and hard science to make their case.

Drawing from a chapter of Jerry's book "44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage," they distinguish healthy humor that builds closeness from hurtful humor that wounds a spouse and creates distance. Becky shares research on how genuine laughter lowers stress, boosts immune function, and even lowers blood pressure, while Jerry cites Proverbs 17:22, "a merry heart does good like medicine." The couple swap favorite family memories, including their son dropping the offering plate as a boy in a packed church and their daughter tumbling into a swimming pool in her new Easter dress, and they recommend building family traditions around clean, funny movies everyone can laugh at together. They close by encouraging families to bring more cheerfulness into the home and into everyday encounters with others.

Topics discussed:

• Chapter 40 of "44 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage": healthy humor
• Medical and health benefits of laughter
• The difference between playful humor and hurtful mockery
• Funny family memories involving their children
• Choosing wholesome family movies and games together
• Becky's new book, "The Bright Side of Blue"
• Proverbs 17:22 and Ephesians 5:19-20 on joy and thankfulness

Continuing last week's conversation on finances, Jerry and Becky Drace ask a simple question with a complicated answer: what can money actually buy, and what can it never buy?

They offer a practical, percentage-based approach to budgeting — tithing, savings, housing, food, and debt repayment — and run through a list of things no amount of money can purchase, including peace, health, respect, and salvation. Drawing on the Apostle Paul's example of contentment, they warn against comparing your family's finances to others', including celebrity marriages that look wealthy but are often empty, and share a story about a wealthy man's wife who longed for the presence of God in her home more than anything money could buy.

Topics discussed:

• What true wealth means versus material riches
• A practical percentage-based budgeting guide
• Contentment and the Apostle Paul's example
• Things money cannot buy: peace, health, respect, and salvation
• Avoiding comparison with others' finances or celebrity marriages
• Proverbs 11:24 and Matthew 6:19-21
• Praying for wisdom over financial decisions

Jerry and Becky Drace tackle one of the most contentious topics in any marriage — money — and how financial dishonesty or overspending can quietly tear a family apart.

They open with the story of a young, high-earning couple, an attorney and a fashion designer, whose two-year marriage collapsed under the weight of financial conflict despite a top-tier income. From there they cite sobering statistics on average American credit card and household debt, argue against spouses keeping separate bank accounts, and describe the toll of harassing calls from debt collectors. The conversation turns to tithing and stewardship as a foundation for financial peace, and closes with the announcement of Becky's newly released book, "The Bright Side of Blue."

Topics discussed:

• How financial stress and debt destroy marriages regardless of income
• Average American credit card and household debt statistics
• Why separate "his and hers" bank accounts can undermine unity
• Dealing with debt collectors and financial pressure
• Tithing and biblical stewardship
• Proverbs 3:9-10 and Malachi 3:10
• Teaching children financial responsibility with their own checking accounts