Horribly Off-Topic

Chris overreacts when a guy tells him he’s not a Star Wars fan, Steve remembers Sam the Eagle’s name but can’t remember Sweetums’, and it’s 70 degrees outside in the middle of January.

Chris asks for advice on "Rick and Morty," Steve coins the simile “like a warm human bidet,” and we learn why everybody on Twitter right now is like the Penguin.

Chris can’t choose between altra and regular, Steve woodburies the lede, and we research the etymology of the word dildo.

Steve comes up as a crazy wave, Chris has a few miles on his metaphorical tires, and it’s a rare circumstance when a great movie is also a great pinball machine.

Steve says he’s never intentionally written anything, Chris wonders if the latest top-notch video game is just an updated version of PAPERBOY, and together we learn that you can’t double nothing.

Steve calls the fire department and Chris explains why Kelly was Al Bundy’s Roadrunner.

No one brought their axes to class, Steve doesn’t know why he said “baby cat,” and Chris wonders if the kid from "Mid90s" will escape the corpse.

Chris stacks some wood, Steve plans a trip to the movies, and it turns out it’s called a “weird album.”

In which we learn Chris used to be a sloppy party bottom; Steve’s not a potato person anymore; and, if you’re starving, you could eat some fondant.

Steve visits Canobie Lake Park, Chris visits the Registry of Motor Vehicles, and one of us gets better at subtle nudging.