Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch

MARCH 25th, 1996 - CJ wants to help a disabled comedian fulfill his ocean-swimming dreams and she won't be able to do it alone! In a very purple metal shop, the sparks are flying but Cody isn't wearing proper PPE! Meanwhile, Mitch & Caroline attempt to find the missing father of an amnesiac war orphan -- while cruising the docks and promoting Baywatch Nights!

It's the penultimate episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch, and luckily both CJ and Cody are along for the ride! Cody highlights an unseen part of his character, getting to show off his engineering skills! Good looks, a great body, and he can work with his hands? He really is the full package! CJ certainly agrees, even if most of her focus is on disabled Jess and his quest for handicap access across the beaches of Southern California. It'll take some bold, blonde ingenuity to get Jess into the water! Caroline is busy stumping for a position at Baywatch Nights, that hot new detective agency that Mitch has started. Maybe after cracking the case of the long, lost father, Mitch will give her a chance!

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OCTOBER 19TH, 1992 - Jimmy Slade's abusive father arrives in Malibu, as does our favorite guest-star: Elizabeth Berkley! She's back to keep poor, over-eager Summer guessing, all while making sure Slade's surfing career keeps moving forward! Matt's got a bitchin' party planned for the weekend (as long as he doesn't crash his dune buggy) -- will you be there? CJ certainly will!

Who knew that Jessie Spano herself would be appearing again, and so soon, and with Tiara English in tow? Certainly not the hosts of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch, but they sure are grateful! Teen drama, first day fashions, environmental activism, some light BDSM, and even some huffing make for a very packed episode! And we haven't even mentioned Garner and his leopard-print speedo!

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FEBRUARY 21st, 2000 - The soap opera drama heats up in Hawaii, as mega-bitch Jenna has her eyes set on stealing control of Baywatch! Will studly Sean's positive outlook and throbbing erection obscure him from seeing the snake in his midst? But it's mostly a solo spotlight on Jason, as he's tricked into constructing a canoe from scratch! He'd better get over-time for this job!

It'll take all the charisma of the ever-dazzling Jason and every hair of Sean's beefy chest to keep our hosts' attention on this episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch! More Hawaiian culture and tradition is dished out, along with more abuse for poor Jason. At least Jenna is around to keep things spicy and threatens the end of Baywatch as we know it!

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OCTOBER 12th, 1998 - Our hero Mitch press-gangs a reluctant Alex into taking her autistic nephew, Timmy, on an exciting trip to Hawaii for the weekend, whether she likes it or not! And even with an especially cheery Cody in tow, things look stormy for this tropical getaway! Will a surprise appearance from Lani's horny little sister make their island visit any easier? And can anyone be spared the sight of ... live dolphin birth??

Make sure you've got plenty of mouth wash and hand sanitizer nearby for this latest episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch! Nothing can prepare you for the clouds left behind by a pregnant dolphin! But rest assured, Baywatch proves to have a lighter touch than one might expect, at least when it comes to the topic of autism. Miko Hughes (evil zombie baby boy from the OG Pet Semetary) delivers a surprisingly touching performance as young Timmy, reminding us all that there's plenty of heart in this silly show!

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NOVEMBER 4th, 1991 - A lovers' quarrel between Eddie & Shauni leads to a bad idea -- and a blind date with the sultry-voiced phone operator, Nicole. Between the couples' chaotic nonsense and a bottle of diet pills, Nicole might not make it back from the beach! Elsewhere, Mitch and Garner are terrorized by a lost genius dog, who just may hold the key to finding the thugs that kidnapped his owner!

Things are uncommonly fraught on the latest episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch and the boys watched this one through gritted teeth! A surprisingly crafty dog is a welcome sight (and distraction), while Baywatch dips back into Very Special Episode territory, again tackling weight. Nobody ever claimed this show could handle nuance! 

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SEPTEMBER 22nd, 1997 - A new summer means another session of rookie school, which brings a flood of new faces to Baywatch! And the excitement spreads fast around the beach -- Cody fights in a death-match against one of the newbies' hot exes; Mitch tries to dodge his inevitable future; while Newmie clutches Manny close to his chest! 

It's the biggest episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch yet! There's only so much room on the lifeguard tower but you wouldn't know it from the cast explosion! Will Lani be able to become as popular and beloved as CJ? Can April handle the pressure and stay in fashion school? How can Manny overcome the outdated vision requirements? Will Sheryl be remembered now that she has a name? And who the hell is Skylar!? All that plus Cody fighting for his life with another shapely stud! This time, the rescue can is used for bad!

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MARCH 16th, 1990 - Shauni is haunted by the loss of a co-worker -- and the return of her unibrow! As she struggles to return to the water, Cort is busy scheming. Will the charm of "Hunk Golden" be enough to pull off his latest scam? And can Mitch and lawyer lifeguard Craig resist his wiles themselves?

Cort continues to be a joy to behold (especially in his denim overalls) but will it be enough to hold Denny's interest? On the latest episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch, the real focus is on the pain of Shauni after her "work-place incident," which allows Garner another moment to shine! The weather might suck, the mood might be maudlin, but there's no time to lament -- there's a ski race to win!

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APRIL 27th, 1992 - Romance is in the air at the beach! Or is that the scent of BS? Shauni is wooed by a handsome homeless poet, who showers her with promises of a romantic, artistic life. Things take a turn when he stumbles across a hidden cache of jewels, buried in the sand by a pair of lurking burglars! But who presents the greatest danger: the returning criminals, looking for their loot; or Eddie, the jealous boyfriend?! All that and new cutey lifeguard, Harvey, blundering through a wind surfing class!

There's pretty faces aplenty on the latest episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch but can any of them be trusted? Beach bum beatnik Ian may seem harmless now, Shauni, but didn't your mother warn you about jobless artists? And Harvey might be fun-sized, but he's got a long hill to climb to make up for his dorky first showing. Thank goodness Newie is around to keep us sane!

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NOVEMBER 27th, 1995 - It's all led up to this (at least for Josh) -- Cody competes for a spot on the US Olympic swim team! Will the blond bohunk of Baywatch succeed and go on to try for the gold? Can the support of leggy and loving CJ bolster his God-given talents? Is the coaching of saint Stephanie enough of an edge? Also, Logan finds an abandoned infant in his tower and assumes it must be his. All that, plus: SPEEDOS!

It's a Cody love-fest on the latest episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch! Who could possibly care what else is happening elsewhere on the beach when the Olympic swimming trials are wrapping up!?! Not us, that's for sure! While CJ and Stephanie's biological clocks threaten to deafen anyone nearby, Logan has his own parental melodrama with a foundling child. Caroline continues to be a doormat for her unfaithful Aussie and, finally, we get a hint as to why she puts up with so much crap -- Logan looks like a blond Michael Landon!  

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FEBRUARY 19th, 2001 - Hurricane Honu is making its way towards the shores of Baywatch Hawaii but that's hardly enough to stop the horniness! Zack and his frosted tips end up trapped alone during the storm -- until a mysterious & suspicious girl appears through a hole in the wall! While out in the storm, stalwart & studly Sean makes refuge with mega-bitch, Jenna, and have only one bottle of liquor to make it through the night! There's not a dry seat to be found!

What are we, cursed?! We're in for another storm on the latest episode of Hot Red Shorts! - A Gay Watch of Baywatch! The boys of Baywatch have their hands full with two particularly difficult ladies and no amount of alcohol or marijuana can save them! Sean doesn't want to fight but councilwoman Jenna is out for blood! And Zack can't seem to stop young reporter Ivy from making one bad decision after another! 

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