How Can I Say This...

A coaching client recently reminded me of a truth that’s easy to forget: if you want to have a great conversation with someone, focus on trying to be interested, rather than interesting. And how do we demonstrate interest? We ask questions. But there’s more to it than that, and not all questions are created equal. Our question this episode: how can we use curiosity to make more meaningful connections with others? 

My guest is Marcia Reynolds, PhD, MCC. Her newest book is "Coach the Person, Not the Problem: A Guide to Using Reflective Inquiry." Your can learn more on the episode webpage at howcanisaythis.com

Your feedback, ratings, reviews, and shares are welcome. Thanks for listening!

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As life in the pandemic continues, our capacity for empathy and connection can come and go. Sometimes it’s easy to be present for our loved ones, and other times, we need space and just to be left alone. Asking for what we need and having boundaries can be challenging enough during non-stressful times, but add a pandemic and all that comes with it into the mix? Things get more complicated.

Our question this episode: how can we take care of ourselves and our relationships during a time of uncertainty and stress?

My guest is relationship communication expert Marianne van Dijk. We talk about how to keep your love relationship healthy, especially in times when tensions are high. (PS: Her tips work for other types of relationships, too!)

Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. Your reviews, ratings, and shares are welcome and appreciated! More information at howcanisaythis.com. Thanks for listening!

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We all know that our physical surroundings influence our mood and ability to focus. But do we fully appreciate how much they affect our communication? How a room is arranged, what’s in the space, and how welcoming it is all contribute – or detract – from being able to have productive conversations. Our question this episode: what does our physical space have to do with our capacity for connection?

My special guest is Rebecca West, founder of Seriously Happy Homes.

Thanks for listening! Your reviews, ratings, and shares are greatly appreciated. You can learn more at www.howcanisaythis.com.

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If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that on the surface we talk about communication, but underneath that, we’re really talking about relationships. Caring about another person is why we are thoughtful about how we speak with one another. Today we’re going to hear from two listeners that have very different situations but share some common themes. I'm also pleased to welcome Rebecca West of Seriously Happy Homes to offer her insights on one of the listener questions.

Our questions this episode: how do you have a difficult conversation with someone who is lying? And how do you talk to someone who just pulls away?

Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information at howcanisaythis.com. Your reviews, ratings, shares and subscriptions are welcome. Thanks for listening!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When we think of negotiators, we often think of people who are trying to find a bargain, job seekers, or people on the front lines of a hostage situation. Those things might be true some of the time, but there’s so much more to it than that. Life is a negotiation; and right now, it’s showing up in the form of negotiating new structures, working arrangements, and relationships in light of the coronavirus pandemic. We’re all negotiators.

Our question this episode: what are the benefits of bringing yourself – your true self – to a negotiation?

My conversation with Mori Taheripour focuses on her new book, "Bring Yourself: How to Harness the Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly." We talk about the different traits of effective negotiators (it's not what you would assume), the role of empathy in successful negotiations (and relationships), and what to keep in mind when you're negotiating ideas with someone you disagree with (she feels hopeful we can find common ground).

Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information at HowCanISayThis.com. Your reviews, ratings, shares and subscribes are encouraged and appreciated! Thanks for listening!

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When we’re in close quarters with someone for a long time, even the strongest of relationships can be tested. In this episode, I offer you a simple mantra that can help you stay calm and compassionate while we shelter-in-place. #spaceandgrace

Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information and downloadable mantra images at howcanisaythis.com. Your feedback, shares, reviews and ratings are welcome!

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It’s a phrase I’ve heard over and over these past few years: there’s no point in trying to talk to them. Them is always the person with whom we have strong disagreements, or it might represent an entire group of people we’ve decided are unreachable. But there is a point; it’s just not what you might think. Our question this episode: how can we get past our surface differences to find our common humanity?

My guest is Kern Beare, founder of The Difficult Conversations Project. More information at howcanisaythis.com.

Shares, ratings, and reviews are always welcome and appreciated. Thanks for listening!

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When we think of forming new habits, our minds go to the obvious – changing what we eat, how much we exercise, what time we go to bed or get up in the morning, deciding to meditate. Those are all good habits to pay attention to, and there’s one more to add that can change your life just as much. Our question this episode: which small word choices make a huge difference in the effectiveness of our communication?

You can find past episodes, find out how to leave a review, and learn more about the show at howcanisaythis.com. Thanks for listening!

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There are many ways to evaluate the health of a social connection. We know to notice eye contact, body language, tone of voice and balance of listening and talking. But what about laughter? We intuitively know that when we laugh together, there’s a high probability we like one another or have something in common. It can also signal discomfort, a power indifference, or low self-esteem. Our question this episode: what are the ways laughter and humor advance or distract from our communication?

Part one of two.

Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. Thanks for listening! To access past episodes, learn how to leave a review, or contact Beth, visit howcanisaythis.com.

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There’s a widely circulated saying that people fear public speaking more than death. That funny but misguided bit of trivia distracts us from the opportunity we have whenever we’re given the literal or metaphorical microphone and invited to share our thoughts.

Our question this episode: what strategies for overcoming public speaking anxiety can help us be better communicators?

If you don’t consider yourself a public speaker, I invite you to think again. I can’t remember who planted this idea in my head, but there’s truth to it: we are all public speakers, every day. Whenever we open our mouths to speak to someone, we are communicating publicly with the intention of being persuasive, giving or receiving information, or accomplishing a goal. You don’t have to be on a stage or behind a podium to carry yourself and your voice with authority. My guest today is Michelle Barry Franco, and she shares strategies that help you speaking from the stage with ease also apply to having more courageous everyday conversations.

Find more information, past episodes, and submit your communication question at howcanisaythis.com.

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