How Can I Say This...

Most people dread it. Some people avoid it at all costs. We’ll skip the networking events, duck behind a big display in the store, or avoid eye contact in a public place. What am I talking about? Small talk. It’s something we all have to do, but we almost universally despise. Our question this episode: what can we do to make small talk less painful and more productive?

The inspiration from this episode comes from a recent presentation I gave at the MIT Media Lab. I was talking about being an introvert in an extroverted environment, and part of my message was about the value of small talk. And while I’ve made mention of that topic in previous talks and writing, the inclusion of it in my presentation was also inspired by a Sept 17 New York Times article titled, “The Awkward but Essential Art of Office Chitchat.” Since small talk is a huge part of the interpersonal communication we all engage in every day, I thought it was worth sharing a few thoughts on the topic here. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information at howcanisaythis.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are lots of “F” words that we’re supposed to avoid in the workplace. Fear. Failure. Flirting. Fighting. And of course, the word to end all “F” words, which I won’t say because I like to avoid an explicit rating! But there’s another F word, and this one we avoid at our peril: Feelings. Our question this episode: how can we talk about our feelings at work?

My guest today is Melanie Katzman, PhD, author of the forthcoming book, "Connect First: 52 Simple Ways to Ignite Success, Meaning, and Joy at Work" (McGraw-Hill, Oct 22, 2019). Melanie offers us some quick and easy ways to create more connection in the workplace by embracing our feelings and emotions, rather than avoiding them. We also discuss the art of asking for and receiving an apology, and strategies for moving forward with a vision or project when your colleagues aren’t on the same wavelength. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info at howcanisaythis.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How many meetings or events have you attended this past week? Maybe you’ve invited people over for dinner, been to a birthday party, or you’ve gotten together in a favorite park for a hike. Chances are you’ve been in at least one work, client, or school meeting. Perhaps you’ve attended a conference, seminar, training, networking event, city council meeting, church gathering, book group, or Rotary luncheon. And how often have you left those gatherings feeling like it was time well-spent, that something was accomplished? Too often we come together with what we think is clear intention. But in reality, it’s murky at best, and a huge missed opportunity at worst. Our question this episode: how can we make sure our gatherings aren’t a complete waste of time?

Good conversations go hand-in-hand with good gatherings. In this episode, I share two lessons learned from my new favorite book, “The Art of Gathering," by Priya Parker, and use some of my own recent experiences as examples of gatherings gone right and wrong. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info at howcanisaythis.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes our journey towards greater self-awareness seems slow and ponderous. And other times, life decides to hit the fast-forward button and give us a can’t-miss catalyst for profound change. No matter which happens to you, both involve conversations. Conversations we have with ourselves, and those we have with others. And the quality of those conversations shapes our life satisfaction.

Our question this episode: how can we boost our conversational intelligence, from the inside out?

Today we’re going to hear from Michael O'Brien, who experienced that can’t-miss catalyst for change in a way that I hope none of you listening ever have to live through. In the first part of our conversation, we focus on the destructive self-talk that he learned how to move through. Then we shift a bit to discuss the basics of Conversational Intelligence, which increases our capacity to build trust and connection with others. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info at howcanisaythis.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When we think of traveling outside our native country, we usually consider the obvious differences we’ll experience: language, food, clothing, architecture. But there’s another layer of difference that’s more subtle and can dramatically affect how well we navigate our new environment.

Our question this episode: what’s important to consider when communicating with others in a culture different from your own?

Today’s guest caught my eye on LinkedIn with a post about cultural sensitivity when working in countries other than your own. I realized after our conversation that even within our own country, we can feel out of step with others when we go to a different region. This conversation will help you whether you're traveling abroad or just across state lines. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info at howcanisaythis.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today is Friday, August 9, 2019, and it’s been a rough week. I’ve found that I haven’t had much to say. The news and its tragedies have overwhelmed me, as they have the world. For a podcast about how to say it, whatever “it” is, I’m finding myself at a loss. I’m not even sure I have a key question for this episode, except wondering what we can do when words fail us.

This is a rather short episode, because I’m still feeling in shock from the mass shootings that happened in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, OH on August 3rd and 4th. When I can't find words, I turn to the words of others. Two poems by Naomi Shihab Nye and Lucille Clifton have provided me solace and centeredness, and in sharing them here, I hope they have the same affect on you. Hosted by Beth L Buelow, PCC. More info at howcanisaythis.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When I tell you I’m "going to get back to you by the end of the day," what does that mean to you? And what about how you interpret “get back to you?” You might be surprised to hear that what those phrases mean to you depends on your age. And how you respond to a compliment depends on your gender, in addition to context.

Our question this episode: how can we best communicate across generational and gender differences?

This episode’s topic brings me back to a listener question from episode 6 about how to communicate with someone who is in a different generation. I’ll include a link to that on the webpage for this episode, because it’s a great companion piece for the conversation today with Lee Caraher. This topic feels personally relevant, as my husband and I are from two different generations; he’s a Boomer, and I’m a Gen Xer. We’re 10 years apart in age, and usually the difference is most apparent when it comes to cultural references, especially music. It’s made me realize how much music comes to define a generation. It’s a mood and memory catalyst, which further cements it in our psyches and almost becomes part of our identity. And this chat with Lee brought to the surface even more places where generational differences come into play, particularly as the age gap between you and another person gets wider. She offers valuable tips on how to clear up any confusion, as well as how communication has changed in the #MeToo era. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info at howcanisaythis.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We spend 55% of our time in an average day listening; but what are we really doing? Are we attentive? Fully present? Passive? Distracted? Waiting until the other person stops talking so we can talk? Our questions this episode: what does it mean to really listen, and how can we become better at it?

While this podcast is often focused on the words we say, it’s equally important to focus on the way we hear the words of others. My guest today is coach, author, fellow podcaster and deep listening evangelist Oscar Trimboli. In this episode, we look at what gets in our way of being good listeners, as well as the antidotes to those challenges. There are so many parts of this conversation that have practical applications, and I’m guessing that even if you feel like you’re a good listener, you’ll hear something of yourself in Oscar’s description of the four types of listening gremlins. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info at howcanisaythis.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Failure. It’s something we avoid as adults, equating it with incompetence, lack of effort or resources, bad ideas, faulty execution, and a sign that we’re on the wrong track. But as little kids, we accepted it. Whether we were conscious of it or not, we knew that we were going to mess up on our way to learning something new. Our question this episode: what would it mean if we could normalize failure and talk more openly about it?

This episode is part two of my conversation with Sarah McVanel, who is going to share with us insights she gained as she wrote her latest book, "Flip Side of Failing." You don’t have to have heard episode 41 to get value out of this conversation, but I highly recommend you take the time to listen when you have a chance. We talked about how to recalibrate our relationship to failure, starting with the self-talk and stories we engage in. Today we’re looking at how we relate to failure externally, including how to have a difficult feedback conversation with someone who’s on the brink of failure. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow. More information at howcanisaythis.com.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.