The longer I live, the more I learn. When I was a child, there were so many things that were normal to me. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know myself a lot better, and I realize that some of the things I thought were normal were actually patriarchal cultural norms that don't serve women. I'd admit that I fell for some of them, and as I live and learn, I will continue to unlearn every norm that inhibits me.

For this episode, my guest is Olabisi Ajai Layode. Do you know her? Let me tell you a little bit about her. She used to go by Olu Bunmi on Facebook, but now, she's Ola Bisi. She has a steadily active wall with over 35,000 followers --- on her personal profile page. Crazy, no? Ola Bisi is a published author and founder of Greenlands Haven Foundation. She is an advocate for the empowerment of women, and she blogs under the name of Jopa’s Daughter. Connect with Ola Bisi on her Facebook page, on her blog, and via email: [email protected]

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Mercedes Okwukogu is a woman to be admired.  In the past three weeks, Nigerian Facebook has been greatly shaken. On Ola Bisi's Facebook wall, she started sharing stories of women who are divorced. She used the hashtag, #DivorceNotStigma, and I was one of the women whose stories got shared. She reached out to me to share my story, and even before she reached out, I was planning on doing so anyway. Of course, my own story was already very public, so sharing a summary of it on Facebook was no problem. It was through this series that I met today's guest, Mercedes Okwukogu.

Let me tell you a bit about Mercedes Okwukogu.  She's an engineer in Nigeria, six feet tall, absolutely beautiful, 42, a strong woman by all indications, and a pleasure to be around --- even virtually. Although she did not describe herself as humble, this was a trait I picked up from her through our long conversation (we spoke extensively on the phone before we actually recorded our podcast). You can connect with Mercedes Okwukogu on her Facebook page or through Whatsapp: +234-909-916-2263

The point of today's episode is not to rehash everything that went wrong in the marriage of Mercedes Okwukogu, but to discuss where she is now, how she feels about remarrying and dating in general. You may remember that I already shared my thoughts on remarriage. Listen and learn!

Last week, I shared my marriage and divorce story again on Facebook, on Ola Bisi's Facebook profile page, as part of her #DivorceNotStigna series. It's a series of stories by women who walked out of their marriage and got divorced after enduring too much. But reading some of the comments, raised another question about why women endure bad marriages. So, of course, I am here to answer.

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Before we go any further, let's just agree that our African men know better. That being said, last month, I wrote a post on this blog, titled, "20 Things Women Are Not Doing in 2020," and while it was so much fun to write, I was once again surprised by how many women related to it. A woman sent me an email to say how she related to so many of these points, but the one that pained her most was number 7, quoted below:

So, this week's episode is to remind (or inform) us that our African men know better. But in order for us to get better out of them, we have to first demand better. Also, to give you some context as to why I feel the way I feel, you can read my marriage and divorce story here.

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Have you ever faced a mountain in your life that you thought was just going to take you out? Yeah, me, too. Sometimes, I sit back and remember when life was much simpler. Like when my biggest problem in life was that I did not own a cell phone. I wished for one so badly. Funny enough, at some point, I owned not just one, but two cell phones. Then I got tired of having two cell phones, and I switched back to one.

Recently, my mountain was the end of my marriage and consequently, the divorce that came from it. I remember when it seemed like divorce was a two-headed cobra with wings on the body of a lion. Complicated. Un-figureoutable. 

But guess what? It's done! The mountain was smaller than it looked. The mountain is always smaller than it looks.  And I not only survived but came out better and stronger --- and with experience. Now I can help someone else figure it out.

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It's not every day that one gets to have a conversation about how to discover your feminine energy with the dynamic feminine success coach, Ekene Onu. She's a whole lot of woman. She is as wise as she is graceful, and she seems to do it all so effortlessly. I don't know how she does it, but I do know that she is one of us, and I have met her in person, so I know for sure that she does not have two heads.

Today's episode is about how to discover your feminine energy. But it isn't just about discovering it, but also about harnessing it. For starters, what is feminine energy? Ekene Onu answers this question and much more. I can tell you that I was already thirty years old before I even discovered that I had something called feminine energy. I have read articles about feminine energy, but no one has talked to me about feminine energy the way that Ekene Onu has.

Let me tell you a bit about Ekene Onu: she is the dynamic, soulful and visionary coach behind the Iconic Woman Mastermind and the Iconic Womanhood feminine success course and the Refresh Retreats, a vibrant social strategic, and restorative event for high-octane and executive women.

She is also the host of the Iconic Womanhood podcast where feminine leadership, grace and possibility are featured, discussed and celebrated. Before she became the visionary that she is today, she was a successful pharmacist. Ekene Onu has been hired to consult for some of the largest and most innovative brands in the world for Fortune 500 companies and notable institutions like The Georgia Institute of Technology, Union Bank PLC, the Graca Machel Trust and more.  She is passionate about helping women elevate and improve their performance through knowledge acquisition & transformative coaching. 

Ekene's Offer for Sweet Potatoes

Her next mastermind begins in May, but it's only for 20 women. Ekene Onu is not for everyone, but if she is for you, then grab your seat right now because like I said, it's only for 20 people. As a Sweet Potato, use the code Verastic (case-sensitive) if you're paying in full and get $100 off your seat. Can't pay in full but still want a seat? No problem! Use the code Verastic10 (also case-sensitive) to get 10% off your monthly payment plan. REGISTER HERE.

Ways to work with Ekene Onu: Through her Iconic Mastermind page (where you can save $100 with code Verastic for full price or Verastic10 for 10% off monthly payment plan)  |  Through her self-paced feminine foundations course  |  Through her yearly retreat (this year's dates are from November 12th to 15th in Atlanta, Georgia)  |  Work with her one-on-one as your executive coach.  Connect with Ekene Onu on her podcast, Iconic Womanhood, on Instagram, and on Twitter.

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In today’s episode, Nkem Akinsoto – AKA Myne Whitman – has graced us with her virtual presence and her wealth of knowledge on the subject of adoption, especially when it comes to adopting in Nigeria. I had heard before that adoption was expensive, but I assumed that adopting in Nigeria (or at least outside America) would be cheaper because you’d convert the dollars to the local currency. Nkem’s story, however, has opened my eyes up to a new reality. You have to listen to find out more.

Let me tell you a little bit about Nkem Akinsoto. She is a public health and research expert and she currently works as a population health program manager with the foremost academic medical center in Seattle, USA. She is also a bestselling author and blogger. Her blog lives at Romance Meets Life. Since 2017, Nkem has mentored youths through an NGO in Nigeria, the Strategy and Innovation for Development Initiative as well as co-founding The Spring Development Initiative, a tax-exempt nonprofit in the United States. Through this initiative, Nkem has successfully trained and coached over 100 young social changemakers and entrepreneurs who have initiated and completed numerous community development projects across Nigeria.  Connect with Nkem on Twitter and Instagram,

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Seun Adedeji, youngest Black man to own a cannabis dispensary. And he's African, too? And he's Nigerian? Hot damn.

So, I sought him out, and I reached out to him, and I begged him to be a guest on the I Am African podcast, and he obliged me generously.

I was so impressed with Seun Adedeji. He's 26 years old, and he's wise, and he has foresight, and I am proud that he's one of my own. You don't have to be interested in cannabis to appreciate this episode. If you're driven, and you want to succeed, and you're not afraid of going on the road that is less traveled, and you want to have an impact, and you want to make generational wealth, and you leave a legacy for your children, then listen to this episode. Tell me what you think when you listen.

Connect with Seun Adedeji on Instagram, Twitter, on his website, Elev8cannabis.com and via email: [email protected]

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As an African woman who was raised by African parents, I was never taught to be comfortable with sex, and I was definitely not told about women owning their sexual desires. What sexual desires??? Sex was always this taboo thing that you were only allowed to think of after marriage. And even then, it was a man's thing, a thing that a wife gave her husband whenever he asked for it. I was never taught that women could want it, or could enjoy it, or could even ask for it.

Well, I know that now! *Insert wide grin*

My honorable guest today is Duchess Iphie, and she is based in the UK. She is a sex, relationship, and intimacy coach. When you listen to this episode, I hope that you get some value and insight into your own life, and I hope you walk away from it with several lightbulb moments that will make your relationship more intimate. Please share this episode with the women and men in your network. You never know what someone is dealing with.

Connect with Duchess Iphie on Instagram, Facebook, and her website.

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What does your intuition sound like to you? It sounds like the voice of God to me. It sounds to me like God nudging me, telling me where to go and how to get there. And that's why my intuition saved my life. This episode shares in great detail the many times my intuition saved my life.

This episode mentions the story about how my marriage ended, and you can read that story in full here.

Let's connect:

• I Am African on Instagram
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• Email: [email protected]