How Do I Rob This?

Influencers are the bane of modern society. They are everywhere, on the streets, in your house, even in your phones! The worst of the worst live in something called Honey House, which is like Hype House for adults. Quote unquote adults.

These twentysomethings and their made up careers are no match for two gentleman thieves and their malignant misunderstanding of what a TikTok is. Relentlessly they will use and understand modern technology and combine it with halloween spookiness to be the bad influence they themselves were always meant to be.

We’re also on TikTok now. We’ve made one TikTok and that started and simultaneously ended our careers.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it two gentleman thieves glued together in an overly expensive suit on a mission to steal Nic Cage’s Superman outfit?

Yup. It’s just that. In this episode we time travel to the magical year of 1997, when Nicolas Cage could’ve been Tim Burton’s Superman, fought off a giant spider, and had a space dog. None of this came to pass, but a suit was created fit for a Kryptonian. Shinier than any material on earth, glossier, sparklier, with layers and layers of latex to allow full appreciation of Cage’s flowing black hair piece.

And now it is for us to foil Warner Bros.’s evil plan, un-release the Snyder cut, take our own cut, and make a flight for it!

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

In this episode our two gentleman thieves prove that this is a comedy, not a science podcast.

How heavy is one kilogram? Well, it’s a kilogram, that seems to be the obvious answer, but there is a better answer hidden deep underneath the Pavillon de Breteuil. At least an answer that’s more fun to steal: The International Prototype of the Kilogram, the IPK, Le Grand K.

Hidden under three glass bells, in a vacuum, miraculously losing weight over time, in a vault behind three locks with three keys, held by three Frenchmen, this heist might carry some serious weight.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

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What would you do, if you had all the money, fame, and power in the world? Well, if you are world (now in-)famous author Just Kidding Rowling (or maybe it’s pronounced Rowling?) the answer is simple: Use your platform to be a transphobic TERF.

Our two gentlemen thieves of course can’t and won’t let that stand and will simply rob the Scottish Killiechassie mansion near Aberfeldy Distillery, a potential sponsor.

But what do smarties have to do with that heist? What’s the spell that freezes people in place? Who is the half blood prince, and was Voldemort unjustly vilified because he claimed trans women are women? Find out in this week’s episode of JK Rowling’s famous twitter account “I’ve always been woke and all my characters are gay, I just never mentioned it, because it would’ve taken time off my busy schedule ruining Edinburgh cafes”

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

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Lockdown can’t hold our two gentleman thieves down as they dive deep into the US’s colonial history and take care of one illustrious John Smith. Not the agent from the “Matrix”, the one from Disney’s “Pocahontas”. Except in real life.

Turns out, 17th century British captain and Virginia’s governour John Smith was a dick. Who would’ve thought? Four centuries later he’s a bronze statue, and statues are falling like leaves in autumn these days. Let’s use the momentum and get rid of a bloodsucking colonial with a few hundred thousand freshly bred bloodsuckers.

How? Listen, and find out! Also, this might be our last remote recording, so audio quality should be much better on the next episode. Thanks for bearing with us!

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

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Our two gentleman thieves are still in lockdown, but somehow both managed to obtain microphones for this month’s episode. So fret not, audio quality is much better than last time, content quality as well.

Did you know that COVID-19 is a fake and also a government conspiracy to mind control non lizard people and distract from the fact that the moon is headed towards the earth where slave children labour away in the name of the Rothschild family to have their teeth removed for pianos? Well, if you didn’t, that just means you are sane.

Unlike German R’n’B singer Xavier Naidoo, who keeps going on his conspiracy rants. That has not only made the artist of South African/Indian/Irish/German descent a poster child for the far right, but also cost him his job on the jury of “Germany’s Got Talent”. Let’s see how he does without his famous sunglasses then, shall we?

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

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Prison can’t keep two gentleman thieves back, lockdown can’t keep two gentleman thieves back, and neither can varying audio quality. Corona rules apply, so social distancing, no fancy suits, no first class flights.

Join us for episode 20 of our podcast as Oskar and Sebastian steal from the richest prick on Earth Jeffaniel Jeffrey Bezos and his Dr. Manhattan style 10,000 year clock plan near the Blue Horizon space port.

The man might not pay his fair share in taxes, but does he look like an egg with an ex-wife that has a stripper’s  name.

We dive deep into mountains, physics, and Bezos’ arch rival in all things space travel Elon “Elongated” Musk.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

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No commander in chief is complete without two of them! That’s testicles and Air Force One and Air Force One II – Electric Boogaloo.

Just in time for the upcoming US election pitting one old white man against another, our gentleman thief Sebastian (not that old, white, man) and vixen of crime Judith will steal the president’s plane. How, why, and mostly how? Well, listen in as the two plan golf trips, gilly suits, and photo shoots.

Friend of the show Judith Shoemaker still fills in for Oskar this month, so send her lots of love on Instagram (@shoedith_jumaker) and follow her miscellaneous adventures and shenanigans.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

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A diamond might be forever, but it can still change hands.

On November 7th 2000 seven criminals attempted to steal the Millennium Star diamond with brute force and a speed boat and were caught before they could get a hand on the loot. On February 7th 2020 Judith and Sebastian will succeed where they failed. And also use a speed boat.

Stealing from shady individuals is what we do in the heist lounge and few corporations are as shady as De Beers, diamond dealers by day with only a few blood diamonds in the mix, and international conglomerate with flexible labour laws by night. They were also the inventors of the concept of the engagement ring in 1940s.

Unlike hosts, diamonds linger… Friend of the show Judith Shoemaker fills in for Oskar this month, so send her lots of love on Instagram (@shoedith_jumaker) and find out the story behind her handle in this episode. Sizzle.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

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Nothing is quite as fashionable as crime… perhaps the world’s most famous Birman cat Choupette. Now that her previous owner Karl Lagerfeld designs black suits in – optimistically – Limbo, she is left to her own devices and Lagerfeld’s millions.

Together with special guest Erman Jones our two gentleman thieves plan for a speedy getaway on the catwalk, designer perfumes, expensive suits (as always), and lots of catnip.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

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