"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps." How many times have we heard that scolding? But what does that actually mean? We are told that if we work hard and rely on our own resources, we will ultimately succeed. But there are major flaws in this do-it-alone grit delusion. It’s a moralistic and unreasonable expectation and enables contempt for the less fortunate. How can we free ourselves from this self-defeating narrative and help each other up—and not by your bootstraps.