What if Marvel condensed a couple of years worth of character development into a single issue? Find out here, once we’re done talking about Teen Titans, Batman, and a bunch of other random shit.

A new episode! We talk this time about an anthology issue about several other people being given the power of Nova! One of them is Peter Parker (because Spider-Man sells books, you see) and one of them is…

Wait a minute, this can’t be right.

One of them is A CRIMINAL?!

This episode we tackle the weakest issue of the first volume thus far, as Sgt. Fury’s Howling Commandos fight World War II in space. Characters become computers for no other reason than Space.

What if Conan were transported to the “present” day? Sex, obviously. Of course there’s sex. It’s Conan.

But, like, other than that?

What if Rick Jones had become the Hulk, you ask? Well, it would have been basically the same Hulk, but with that annoying beatnik slang Rick Jones used to use. That’s basically it.

Then we spend a bunch of time talking about better things that could have been done.

Stan “The Man” Lee as Mr. Fantastic!
Jack “The King” Kirby as The Thing!
Flo “The Woman” Steinberg as The Invisible Woman!
Sol “The Who?” Brodsky as The Human Torch!

You know the public persona of one of them! You know another once threatened to punch a couple Nazis! You know absolutely nothing about the others! Thrill as they suddenly find themselves with superpowers! Also, Namor is here, for some reason!

We don’t really know why, either.

The gang delve into a bizarro universe where Jane Foster is the one wielding the power of Thor.

Marvel Boy! Liberace! Venus! Red Scare! 3-D Man! The Beaver! Asbestos! Gorilla Man! White Flight! The Whirling Dervish! Human Robot! The Raceist!

When these titans join together, they will be utterly forgotten by history!

What would happen if the world knew that Daredevil was BLIND?!

Nothing, really. The Owl does basically the same thing as in normal continuity, and there’s a brief epilogue that’s literally one of two changes. EXCITING!

Let joy be unrestrained as How Marvelous brings you episode 7, in which we find out that everyone who might have become Spider-Man/Woman would experience only failure and death, and that Peter Parker is fated to always be the one, true Spider-Man!