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How Men Are Conditioned to Emotionally Abandon us
Why do so many women find themselves in relationships where they’re doing all the emotional labor? And what role does childhood—and especially the way we raise boys—play in this dynamic? In today’s powerful episode, Dr. Gloria K. Vanderhorst joins me to unpack the lifelong impact of early emotional conditioning—particularly for boys. With over 50 years of experience working with individuals, families, and schools, Dr. Gloria brings deep insight into how our earliest experiences shape how we love, relate, and often repeat patterns without even realizing it. We explore why boys are often taught to disconnect from their emotions, how that affects their adult relationships, and what it takes to change—even later in life. Whether you're parenting a son, partnered with an emotionally shut-down man, or healing from your own emotional inheritance, this episode will speak to your heart. In this episode, we discuss:
- Why early childhood memories—especially unconscious ones—still affect us today
- How boys are taught to lose touch with their emotions, and the cultural cost
- Why emotional labor often falls to women—and what we can do about it
- How Women condition men to emotionally abandon them
- The price we all pay for the emotional suppression of men
- How real change is possible at any age
- A practical framework for healing and self-awareness: Read, Reflect, Respond
About Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst: Dr. Gloria K. Vanderhorst is a licensed psychologist and author of the best-selling book Read, Reflect, Respond: The 3 R’s of Growth and Change. With five decades of experience, she’s helped individuals of all ages understand how early experiences shape their present—and how to heal from trauma in order to grow.
Resources Mentioned: Read, Reflect, Respond: The 3 R’s of Growth and Change by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst – Available on Amazon
Connect with Dr. Gloria on her website or social media: www.drvanderhorst.com https://www.youtube.com/@gloriakvanderhorst https://www.linkedin.com/in/gloria-vanderhorst
Pre-order my book Stronger In The Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book
Free Downloads:
Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here
Connect with me:
Dr. Zoe Shaw on Instagram
Dr. Zoe Shaw on Facebook
Dr. Zoe Shaw Website
View all episodes
By Dr. Zoe Shaw
4.8
8282 ratings
Why do so many women find themselves in relationships where they’re doing all the emotional labor? And what role does childhood—and especially the way we raise boys—play in this dynamic? In today’s powerful episode, Dr. Gloria K. Vanderhorst joins me to unpack the lifelong impact of early emotional conditioning—particularly for boys. With over 50 years of experience working with individuals, families, and schools, Dr. Gloria brings deep insight into how our earliest experiences shape how we love, relate, and often repeat patterns without even realizing it. We explore why boys are often taught to disconnect from their emotions, how that affects their adult relationships, and what it takes to change—even later in life. Whether you're parenting a son, partnered with an emotionally shut-down man, or healing from your own emotional inheritance, this episode will speak to your heart. In this episode, we discuss:
- Why early childhood memories—especially unconscious ones—still affect us today
- How boys are taught to lose touch with their emotions, and the cultural cost
- Why emotional labor often falls to women—and what we can do about it
- How Women condition men to emotionally abandon them
- The price we all pay for the emotional suppression of men
- How real change is possible at any age
- A practical framework for healing and self-awareness: Read, Reflect, Respond
About Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst: Dr. Gloria K. Vanderhorst is a licensed psychologist and author of the best-selling book Read, Reflect, Respond: The 3 R’s of Growth and Change. With five decades of experience, she’s helped individuals of all ages understand how early experiences shape their present—and how to heal from trauma in order to grow.
Resources Mentioned: Read, Reflect, Respond: The 3 R’s of Growth and Change by Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst – Available on Amazon
Connect with Dr. Gloria on her website or social media: www.drvanderhorst.com https://www.youtube.com/@gloriakvanderhorst https://www.linkedin.com/in/gloria-vanderhorst
Pre-order my book Stronger In The Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book
Free Downloads:
Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here
Connect with me:
Dr. Zoe Shaw on Instagram
Dr. Zoe Shaw on Facebook
Dr. Zoe Shaw Website
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