Masculinity operates within a complex web of power, fear, and purity culture. In high-control Catholic spaces, rigid ideals of manhood are enforced not just through behavior, but through moral systems that label certain bodies, desires, and identities as “acceptable” or “threatening.” These structures protect themselves by policing men and women alike, privileging conformity while punishing deviation. Fear—of queerness, softness, vulnerability, or loss of control—becomes the mechanism that maintains these hierarchies, leaving many men trapped in brittle, performative identities while simultaneously erasing or marginalizing queer and trans people who do not fit the sanctioned narrative.

We also examine the broader consequences of these dynamics, including the ways communities are remembered—or erased—through the lens of power, what Willow Sipling calls the “violence of the archive.” The conversation becomes a call for integrity, curiosity, and imagination: to resist replicating harmful structures, to embrace accountability, and to build communities where belonging, embodiment, and moral life aren’t rationed by fear or hierarchy. This episode explores the human cost of rigid masculinity while pointing toward the possibilities of creating spaces rooted in solidarity, reflection, and care.

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