Join us for Part 2 of our conversation with author, poet, queer parent, fellow FUS alum, and sometime college professor R/B Mertz. In this episode, we're discussing the education system, higher ed, right-wing politics, and how it all impacts the queer community and beyond.

check out R/B's other work, including their debut memoir, Burning Butch: ⁠https://rbmertz.com/⁠

order a candle: ⁠https://dzhe0h-k0.myshopify.com/products/i-survived-steubenville-prayer-candle?utm_source=copyToPasteBoard&utm_medium=product-links&utm_content=web⁠

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4owQNOi ⁠

⁠⁠⁠leave laugh love on Spotify: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf⁠⁠

leave laugh love on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/⁠

support us on Patreon! ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/LeaveLaughLovePod⁠⁠⁠

#leavelaughlove⁠ ⁠#catholicism⁠ ⁠#fundamentalism⁠ ⁠#deconstruction

Join us for Part 1 of our conversation with author, poet, queer parent, and sometime college professor R/B Mertz.

check out R/B's other work, including their debut memoir, Burning Butch: https://rbmertz.com/

order a candle: https://dzhe0h-k0.myshopify.com/products/i-survived-steubenville-prayer-candle?utm_source=copyToPasteBoard&utm_medium=product-links&utm_content=web

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://bit.ly/4owQNOi

⁠leave laugh love on Spotify: ⁠https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf⁠

leave laugh love on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/

support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/c/LeaveLaughLovePod⁠⁠

#leavelaughlove⁠ ⁠#catholicism⁠ ⁠#fundamentalism⁠ ⁠#deconstruction

Join Veronica for a chat about deconstructing in December with all the complicated feelings that Advent and Christmas bring when you've been deconstructing.

Here's some links to resources on the holiday season. While these articles are all targeted to the LGBTQ+ community, I hope they might be helpful even if you are straight and cisgender!

- 8 Queer Tips to Get Through the Holidays - Queer Theology

- Going Home for the Holidays - The Trevor Project

- 5 Holiday Tips for LGBTQ+ People in Recovery - The Center

- Making It Through the Holidays as an LGBTQ+ Person - SFGMC

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠order a candle here!

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: https://bit.ly/4owQNOileave laugh love on Spotify: https://bit.ly/3WWIXlfleave laugh love on Instagram:   / leavelaughlovepod  support us on Patreon!   / leavelaughlovepod  #leavelaughlove #catholicism #fundamentalism #deconstruction

Today we unpack compulsory heterosexuality (“comphet”)—how church culture, gender scripts, and fear of exclusion pushed us to date men, plan marriages, and mistake deep friendship for attraction. We share the slow, messy process of naming queerness, the survival calculus of staying in community, and why silence around sexuality harms everyone—including the Church. From youth group purity talk to adult deconstruction, this is a candid look at desire, honesty, and building a life that actually fits.

00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn

02:10 Understanding Compulsory Heterosexuality

06:30 Struggles with Identity and Relationships

24:05 The Impact of Conversion Therapy

29:22 Struggles with Sexuality and Church Teachings

31:36 Mental Health Risks for Queer Individuals in the Church

44:03 Historical and Social Context of Queer Relationships

46:31 Critique of Church's Stance on Sexuality

53:09 Conversion Therapy and Its Rejection

01:00:32 Support from Other Faith Communities

Evelyn, Veronica, and Cade compare the wildly different messages men and women receive in Catholic spaces—porn-and-purity men’s talks vs. dignity-and-modesty women’s talks—then track how those scripts shape deconstruction, dating, and identity. From Theo-bro debate culture to confession-as-streaks, “feminine genius” to closeting strategies, we unpack power, fear, and why over-intellectualizing feelings keeps people stuck—and how to get free.

00:00 Small Group02:05 Gendered Experiences in Catholicism05:47 Men's Emotional Expression and Social Dynamics13:26 Purity Culture and Confession26:12 Social Hierarchies and Virtue in Catholic Circles38:36 Catholic Ideals and Sexuality49:43 Experiences of Queer Women in the Church59:01 Challenges of Dating in Catholic Culture01:01:05 Over-Intellectualizing Catholic Teachings01:07:08 Autism and Hyperfixations in Religious Contexts

We sit down with Cherie - aka “The Canceled Christian” - to unpack life inside high-control evangelical spaces: homeschooling, purity culture, and rules at Pensacola Christian College, plus the cracks that formed during 2020 and after Dobbs. Cherie shares how she and her husband deconstructed together, why empathy (not outrage) moved her most, and practical advice for taking it slow, finding a “deconstruction buddy,” and keeping whatever spirituality still fits.

find more of cherie on tiktok:

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: https://bit.ly/4owQNOi

leave laugh love on Spotify: https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf

leave laugh love on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/

support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/LeaveLaughLovePod

#leavelaughlove #catholicism #fundamentalism #deconstruction

00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn

02:17 Cherie's Background and Deconstruction Journey

04:23 Navigating Marriage and Deconstruction

06:12 College Experiences and Questioning Beliefs

15:25 Working at Starbucks and Meeting Non-Christians

25:18 Starting on Social Media and Shiny Happy People

28:23 Understanding Cult Dynamics

33:43 Navigating Political and Religious Tensions

36:45 Personal Deconstruction Journeys

43:49 Advice for Those Deconstructing

We unpack the parts of Catholicism we still love and live by: the dignity of every person, preferential option for the poor, workers’ rights, solidarity, and care for creation. We get honest about where politics eclipsed the Gospel, why those same values led us out, and how community, ritual, silence, and values-based living still shape our daily lives—queer-affirming, neighbor-minded, and deeply human.

00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn

02:02 Positive Influences from Catholic Upbringing

04:12 The Value of Human Dignity

07:02 Reflections on Relationships and Complementarity

11:01 Building Community and Self-Sacrifice

13:07 Catholic Social Teaching: Core Values

19:04 Solidarity and Care for God's Creation

25:12 Community, Rituals, and Traditions

27:39 Navigating Spirituality Beyond Catholicism

36:37 The Importance of Silence and No Phone Time

43:24 Values-Based Living and Personal Growth

Franciscan University has launched a $10 million “Homeland Mission” in Washington DC — partnering with groups like the Heritage Foundation and the Museum of the Bible. In this episode, Evelyn and Veronica unpack how the project connects to a broader movement of Christian nationalism, the donors behind it, and what it signals about the growing Catholic presence in U.S. politics. From prayer breakfasts to policy influence, this conversation explores faith, money, and power in America’s capital.

00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn

03:22 Franciscan University's Homeland Mission Details

07:36 Donor Contributions and Impact

10:21 Event Highlights and Alumni Involvement

14:14 Philanthropy and Broader Contributions

17:28 Residential Facilities for Students in DC

19:57 Project 2025 and Trump's Influence

21:15 Catholicism and Conservative Politics

25:41 Immigration and Long-term Political Strategies

30:36 Concerns About Right-Wing Catholic Politics

Join us as we unpack Life Teen’s State of Catholic Youth in America (2024) — breaking down “the five cries of youth,” the XLT/adoration model, summer camps, Steubenville ties, and the report’s framing of anxiety, gender dysphoria, politics, and phones. This episode is for devout parents, deconstructors, and anyone curious about how Catholic youth culture really works.

Read along with us as we discuss LifeTeen's "2024 Report on The State of Catholic Youth in America."

Support us on Patreon!

Veronica walks us through Chiles v. Salazar—the Supreme Court challenge to Colorado’s conversion-therapy ban. We unpack what the law actually prohibits (licensed claims to change orientation or gender identity), what it explicitly allows (client-led support and identity exploration), why “professional conduct” is regulate-able, and how amicus briefs—from Catholic orgs to ex-Exodus leaders — frame the stakes for LGBTQ+ youth, families, and faith communities.

Thank you so much for being here! Follow us @leavelaughlovepod on Instagram and TikTok and join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠our Patreon community⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to stay up to date!