Leave Laugh Love

If you have any other information that you’re willing to share with us about the charismatic renewal, covenant communities, or Sword of the Spirit, please email [email protected] or send us a DM on Instagram.

We are indebted to John Flaherty for his decades of work collecting, organizing, and making original documents publicly accessible through Scribd. Here is just a sampling of the important files documenting the history of Sword of the Spirit, including the sources for many of the original documents quoted or referenced in this episode:

Sneaking the Sword of the Spirit into the Catholic Church: https://www.scribd.com/document/20484406/Sneaking-the-Sword-of-the-Spirit-Into-the-Catholic-Church 

Death Oath of The Sword of The Spirit: https://www.scribd.com/document/56950055/Death-Oath-of-the-Sword-of-the-Spirit 

Sword of the Spirit at Franciscan University: https://www.scribd.com/document/19166829/Sword-of-the-Spirit-at-Franciscan-University 

The Complete Training Course of The Sword of The Spirit 1982: https://www.scribd.com/document/99711118/The-Complete-Training-Course-of-the-Sword-of-the-Spirit-1982

Other Sources:

Morrier Lawsuit: https://www.scribd.com/document/604108628/Morier-Lawsuit-Redacted

From page 18 of the lawsuit: “In late 2011, Plaintiff became pregnant as a result of Morrier’s abuse. Morrier’s response was that ‘There is no way God would punish him like that,’ that ‘A pregnancy would ruin his life,’ and that Plaintiff needed to ‘take care of it.’ Contrary to her religious beliefs at the time, but under Morrier’s complete control, Plaintiff felt compelled to follow his advice and thereafter underwent an abortion in Philadelphia one week before Christmas of 2011. When Plaintiff informed Morrier that she had the abortion, Morrier blamed it on a fictional demon named ‘Fr. Robert,’ and would have Plaintiff tell the participants in subsequent deliverance sessions that ‘Fr. Robert’ got her pregnant but that she had ‘miscarried’ the fetus (instead of aborting it)”.

Washington Post’s multi-part exposé on Mother of God in Gaithersburg, MD: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/local/longterm/library/mog/mogmain.htm 

Christopher West’s Mother’s Statement on Mother of God: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/local/longterm/library/mog/members/west.htm 

No Longer Strangers by Regina Doman and the Rev. Gregory Plow, TOR, a short book on the history of household life at Franciscan University: https://troubonline.com/tor-friar-franciscan-alumna-team-up-for-book-on-household-life/ 

FIRE (Faith, Intercession, Repentance, Evangelism): https://www.renewalministries.net/ralph-martin-recalls-fr-scanlans-support/ 

The Malines Documents: https://www.nsc-chariscenter.org/malines-documents/ 

Current website of the Community of God’s Love which continues to operate in Steubenville, OH: https://coglove.org/ 

True House: An Oral History: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rqfdxkn2sBg 

This was released after we recorded this episode, but trust that we will be watching and deep diving in the coming months. 

order a candle: ⁠https://dzhe0h-k0.myshopify.com/products/i-survived-steubenville-prayer-candle?utm_source=copyToPasteBoard&utm_medium=product-links&utm_content=web⁠

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4owQNOi ⁠

⁠⁠⁠leave laugh love on Spotify: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf⁠⁠

leave laugh love on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/⁠

support us on Patreon! ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/LeaveLaughLovePod⁠⁠⁠

#leavelaughlove⁠ ⁠#catholicism⁠ ⁠#fundamentalism⁠ ⁠#deconstruction

Join us for Part 2 of our conversation with author, poet, queer parent, fellow FUS alum, and sometime college professor R/B Mertz. In this episode, we're discussing the education system, higher ed, right-wing politics, and how it all impacts the queer community and beyond.check out R/B's other work, including their debut memoir, Burning Butch: ⁠https://rbmertz.com/⁠order a candle: ⁠https://dzhe0h-k0.myshopify.com/products/i-survived-steubenville-prayer-candle?utm_source=copyToPasteBoard&utm_medium=product-links&utm_content=web⁠

leave laugh love on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@leavelaughloveleave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4owQNOi ⁠⁠⁠⁠leave laugh love on Spotify: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf⁠⁠leave laugh love on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/⁠support us on Patreon! ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/LeaveLaughLovePod⁠⁠⁠#leavelaughlove⁠ ⁠#catholicism⁠ ⁠#fundamentalism⁠ ⁠#deconstruction

Join us for Part 2 of our conversation with author, poet, queer parent, fellow FUS alum, and sometime college professor R/B Mertz. In this episode, we're discussing the education system, higher ed, right-wing politics, and how it all impacts the queer community and beyond.

check out R/B's other work, including their debut memoir, Burning Butch: ⁠https://rbmertz.com/⁠

order a candle: ⁠https://dzhe0h-k0.myshopify.com/products/i-survived-steubenville-prayer-candle?utm_source=copyToPasteBoard&utm_medium=product-links&utm_content=web⁠

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/4owQNOi ⁠

⁠⁠⁠leave laugh love on Spotify: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf⁠⁠

leave laugh love on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/⁠

support us on Patreon! ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/LeaveLaughLovePod⁠⁠⁠

#leavelaughlove⁠ ⁠#catholicism⁠ ⁠#fundamentalism⁠ ⁠#deconstruction

Join us for Part 1 of our conversation with author, poet, queer parent, and sometime college professor R/B Mertz.

check out R/B's other work, including their debut memoir, Burning Butch: https://rbmertz.com/

order a candle: https://dzhe0h-k0.myshopify.com/products/i-survived-steubenville-prayer-candle?utm_source=copyToPasteBoard&utm_medium=product-links&utm_content=web

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://bit.ly/4owQNOi

⁠leave laugh love on Spotify: ⁠https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf⁠

leave laugh love on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/

support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/c/LeaveLaughLovePod⁠⁠

#leavelaughlove⁠ ⁠#catholicism⁠ ⁠#fundamentalism⁠ ⁠#deconstruction

Join Veronica for a chat about deconstructing in December with all the complicated feelings that Advent and Christmas bring when you've been deconstructing.

Here's some links to resources on the holiday season. While these articles are all targeted to the LGBTQ+ community, I hope they might be helpful even if you are straight and cisgender!

- 8 Queer Tips to Get Through the Holidays - Queer Theology

- Going Home for the Holidays - The Trevor Project

- 5 Holiday Tips for LGBTQ+ People in Recovery - The Center

- Making It Through the Holidays as an LGBTQ+ Person - SFGMC

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠order a candle here!

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: https://bit.ly/4owQNOileave laugh love on Spotify: https://bit.ly/3WWIXlfleave laugh love on Instagram:   / leavelaughlovepod  support us on Patreon!   / leavelaughlovepod  #leavelaughlove #catholicism #fundamentalism #deconstruction

Today we unpack compulsory heterosexuality (“comphet”)—how church culture, gender scripts, and fear of exclusion pushed us to date men, plan marriages, and mistake deep friendship for attraction. We share the slow, messy process of naming queerness, the survival calculus of staying in community, and why silence around sexuality harms everyone—including the Church. From youth group purity talk to adult deconstruction, this is a candid look at desire, honesty, and building a life that actually fits.

00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn

02:10 Understanding Compulsory Heterosexuality

06:30 Struggles with Identity and Relationships

24:05 The Impact of Conversion Therapy

29:22 Struggles with Sexuality and Church Teachings

31:36 Mental Health Risks for Queer Individuals in the Church

44:03 Historical and Social Context of Queer Relationships

46:31 Critique of Church's Stance on Sexuality

53:09 Conversion Therapy and Its Rejection

01:00:32 Support from Other Faith Communities

Evelyn, Veronica, and Cade compare the wildly different messages men and women receive in Catholic spaces—porn-and-purity men’s talks vs. dignity-and-modesty women’s talks—then track how those scripts shape deconstruction, dating, and identity. From Theo-bro debate culture to confession-as-streaks, “feminine genius” to closeting strategies, we unpack power, fear, and why over-intellectualizing feelings keeps people stuck—and how to get free.

00:00 Small Group02:05 Gendered Experiences in Catholicism05:47 Men's Emotional Expression and Social Dynamics13:26 Purity Culture and Confession26:12 Social Hierarchies and Virtue in Catholic Circles38:36 Catholic Ideals and Sexuality49:43 Experiences of Queer Women in the Church59:01 Challenges of Dating in Catholic Culture01:01:05 Over-Intellectualizing Catholic Teachings01:07:08 Autism and Hyperfixations in Religious Contexts

We sit down with Cherie - aka “The Canceled Christian” - to unpack life inside high-control evangelical spaces: homeschooling, purity culture, and rules at Pensacola Christian College, plus the cracks that formed during 2020 and after Dobbs. Cherie shares how she and her husband deconstructed together, why empathy (not outrage) moved her most, and practical advice for taking it slow, finding a “deconstruction buddy,” and keeping whatever spirituality still fits.

find more of cherie on tiktok:

leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: https://bit.ly/4owQNOi

leave laugh love on Spotify: https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf

leave laugh love on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/

support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/LeaveLaughLovePod

#leavelaughlove #catholicism #fundamentalism #deconstruction

00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn

02:17 Cherie's Background and Deconstruction Journey

04:23 Navigating Marriage and Deconstruction

06:12 College Experiences and Questioning Beliefs

15:25 Working at Starbucks and Meeting Non-Christians

25:18 Starting on Social Media and Shiny Happy People

28:23 Understanding Cult Dynamics

33:43 Navigating Political and Religious Tensions

36:45 Personal Deconstruction Journeys

43:49 Advice for Those Deconstructing

We unpack the parts of Catholicism we still love and live by: the dignity of every person, preferential option for the poor, workers’ rights, solidarity, and care for creation. We get honest about where politics eclipsed the Gospel, why those same values led us out, and how community, ritual, silence, and values-based living still shape our daily lives—queer-affirming, neighbor-minded, and deeply human.

00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn

02:02 Positive Influences from Catholic Upbringing

04:12 The Value of Human Dignity

07:02 Reflections on Relationships and Complementarity

11:01 Building Community and Self-Sacrifice

13:07 Catholic Social Teaching: Core Values

19:04 Solidarity and Care for God's Creation

25:12 Community, Rituals, and Traditions

27:39 Navigating Spirituality Beyond Catholicism

36:37 The Importance of Silence and No Phone Time

43:24 Values-Based Living and Personal Growth