A Bit Fruity with Matt Bernstein

The Boston Globe’s biggest story in 2002 was an earth-shattering expose of child abuse within the Catholic Church. The Boston Globe’s biggest story in 2026 was an earth-shattering expose of a dysfunctional lesbian community in a small town in Massachusetts trying to keep a COVID-conscious, masks-required queer bar financially afloat. It’s true, this story has everything: a co-owner ditching the bar for clown school, a therapist mediator accused of being a cop, and of course, some secular hijab-inspired accessories. But I fear an analysis of the story’s immense virality reveals a darker truth, and should encourage us all to reconsider our own online behavior.

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A cultural and political earthquake revolving around Ed Sheeran, Macklemore, and P!nk might have felt semi-plausible in 2012, but certainly not in 2026. And yet! After Macklemore called for a free Palestine at Ed’s concert, a disgruntled P!nk took to Instagram to call for apologies and refunds. In a follow-up essay, the 2000s pop icon clarified she does not need a refund, but wants to make one thing clear: as a Jew, Macklemore’s words made her feel unsafe. Today, Palestinian author and poet Mohammed el-Kurd helps dissect P!nk’s big feelings, the evolving rhetoric of Liberal Zionism, and the power of calling something what it is.

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The homosexual fascist must be savvy, and Milo Yiannopoulos was (at least for a time) among the savviest. But it wasn’t enough. It never is. The flamboyant British provocateur who wormed his way into American politics was never destined for a seat at the winners’ table, because the winners’ table doesn’t even exist. Today, Kat Tenbarge, Matthew Sitman (of the Know Your Enemy podcast) and I chronicle the most dangerous gay demon of the 2010s, the culture that produced him, and the destruction left in his wake. May the leopards feast.

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In 2024, the trans TikTok influencer Jools Lebron graced the world with “very demure, very mindful.” The phrase was lightning in a bottle, and got plastered just about everywhere. Two years and two million followers later, Jools broke the news to her followers: after the lucrative brand deals stopped coming, she needed their help to afford dental surgery. The colossal backlash that ensued reveals a disconnect between the public’s understanding of influencer fame and the reality of freelancing. It also raises questions about the conservatism inherent to TikTok’s algorithm, and how we all might end up Fox News boomers if we don’t start thinking critically.

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When Boy George released an AI-generated reggae Zionist fight song last month, I was not shocked. That’s only because the 1980s queer pop icon and “Karma Chameleon” singer quietly directed his ire at me (ME!) a few months earlier. How did such a legendary countercultural figure resort to… whatever this is? Today, we’re telling a bizarre story of fame, crime, geopolitics, and artificial intelligence. A lot of artificial intelligence. George Michael, as the decidedly superior 80s gay pop singer from across the pond, we salute you.

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Lindsey Graham died doing what he loved: fanning the flames of war and hiring queer sex workers while legislating against their basic human rights. What is there to say of an evil gay man who dies in the closet? Lindsey wasn’t the first, and likely won’t be the last. Today, Moira Donegan (of In Bed With The Right) and I perform a psychosexual autopsy on some of America’s worst gays. Good riddance.

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Kylie Jenner is selling Meta Glasses that record people without their knowledge. Timothée Chalamet is selling Kalshi gambling addictions to teenage boys. Do a billion-dollar beauty mogul and the most bankable movie star of a generation really have to debase themselves like this? This week, Kat Tenbarge, Ed Ongweso Jr. and I waltz through the recent business exploits of Hollywood’s busiest couple. Therein lies stories of mass surveillance, legally dubious and politically corrupt virtual casinos, and good ole American greed.

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Caught on camera fleeing the NBA Finals for his $40 million Hamptons home, Jerry Seinfeld declared: “Palestine doesn’t exist.” It’s hard to imagine someone with a larger repository of goodwill and adoration than the 90s television legend, yet Jerry remains steadfast on his mission to destroy it all. This week, comedy connoisseur Emma Vigeland and I investigate Seinfeld’s growing animosity for the changing world around him. And for adult women.

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Mel Robbins wants to Let You give her your money. The lawyer-turned-self-help guru has made an unfathomable fortune through books, speeches, and most recently, protein smoothies. Mel’s core message to her millions of fans is simple: the only thing standing in your way is you. But as the systems that govern us continue to stratify people across seemingly unmovable barriers of wealth and power, Mel’s advice feels at odds with reality. Additionally, Mel’s insatiable quest for building personal wealth requires us to ask brave questions: Can AI be girlboss? Can pyramid schemes be empowering? Perhaps, if we let them.

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It’s time to dive into one of Canada’s worst exports. Kevin O’Leary a.k.a. “Mr. Wonderful” gained household recognition by performing as a mean venture capitalist on TV. As it turns out, the meanness might be the only honest aspect of his character. Today, Emma and I excavate Kevin’s personal and professional history to reveal a nesting doll of capitalist grifter hell. Grab your $28 avocado toast and strap in.

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