On this week's episode, we're joined by Janet Street-Porter, who turns 80 in December, owns four wedding rings with no plans for a fifth, and once sat Daniel Craig at the end of a village hall table for her 60th birthday party. The self-described nation's favourite pissed off pensioner talks to Kaye and Karen about a childhood spent writing herself a parallel world, a Fleet Street career built on strategy rather than charm, five marriages, one biological age test that came back at 56, and why she'll tell a stranger on a train to keep his voice down. Women come to her shows and tell her she's saying the things they've never been able to say. Her answer is the mantra of the show itself: don't let anyone put you on a leash.

Janet's one-woman tour, Still Off the Leash at 80, runs across the UK from 14 September 2026 to April 2027.

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Tickets for Janet's tour: https://www.janetstreetporter.com/tour

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On this week's Midweek Catchup, Karen tries to leave a 10% tip and accidentally leaves 10 pence, a moment of card machine confusion she may never recover from. We also hear why she picks her brambles in a cemetery (great soil, no relatives required), the blood sugar results she's hiding from Steven, and why Kaye is considering wearing a security tabard to the National Television Awards, since nobody shouts her name on the red carpet anyway.

Plus a carpet cleaner that beat a £3,000 cleaning quote, and two cringe stories so bad neither of us will tell them yet. They're booked in for the 30th of September, so hold us to it. This week's guest episode is Janet Street-Porter, out Friday.

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On this week's episode, we're joined by Jay Rayner, who turns 60 ten days after this goes out and will spend the day itself on stage in York. Before that, he answers the question he sets himself in his new book: am I a total bastard? The restaurant critic, now cook, talks about growing up as Claire Rayner's son, opening some of her thousand letters a week as a pocket money job, a family that did its talking loudly over a full table, and why, sixteen years after her death, the nepotism jibe still rankles. There's also a porcelain hip, a jazz sextet, and a marriage he describes as one unending conversation.

His new book and tour share a name, Nights Out in the Kitchen. The book is out now and the tour runs through the autumn, including a matinee at the Assembly Rooms in Edinburgh in late September.

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On this week’s Midweek Catchup, we compare ailments. Kaye has diagnosed herself with dead butt syndrome, which explains the hips, the 18-year-old mattress and the trip to the chiropractor. Her treatment plan involves a tulip-shaped device she once bought Karen for the Fringe. External use only. Karen is on day seven of warm water and lemon and has been invited for a jab whose leaflet opens with the over-75s. Also this week: the £3,000 cleaning quote, Ian up the scaffolding, and Karen’s first Christmas present of the year, bought in August. This week’s guest is Jay Rayner.

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On this week's episode, we're joined by AC Scott, better known to Scottish audiences as broadcaster Alison Craig, who vanished from our screens in 2012 after a rare lung condition collapsed both her lungs and a consultant told her she had ten years to live. What happened next is the strange part. A songwriting weekend on the west coast of Scotland, a phone call from an Emmy-winning American producer telling her she was a songwriter, and the A&R veteran who discovered Jeff Buckley and signed Moby and Beth Orton taking her on. Alison talks about the breakdown she couldn't name at the time, the specialist in Nottingham who gave her back a future, and why the songs on her debut album are written from exactly where she is now, as a wife, a mother, a granny and, in her words, quite often a pissed-off individual.

Her album Out of the Blue is out now, with a launch in Edinburgh in September and a live date in London at the end of September. And because she can't fly, she took a boat to America and drove coast to coast just to say thank you to the man who made that call.

Alison's album Out of the Blue and all her music at https://acscott.co.uk, follow her on Instagram at @acscottsings, or listen on your platform of choice at https://linktr.ee/acscottsings.

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On this week's Midweek Catchup, we find out why Kaye's head is glued back on. After more than a year of putting it off, she's had half her thyroid removed, and when the hospital rang five days later with the results, she let it ring out. Twice. Karen, meanwhile, has talked her way out of a prescription for antidepressants and into a pharmacist's alternative plan, and is dispatching garden slugs with the cheapest lager Lidl sells.

Also on the agenda: a worldwide mango shortage that may only exist in Kaye's kitchen, a squash the size of a small football that Karen is too frightened to cut into, and some very promising noises about a live tour. This Friday we're joined by AC Scott, releasing her first album in her sixties.

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On this week's episode, we're joined by bestselling author Milly Johnson, who planned a year-long celebration of turning 60 and credits an arthritic knee with saving her life. Before the Yorkshire Pudding Club and three million book sales, there were decades of proper jobs, years of rejection, and a marriage so bad she filed for divorce while five months pregnant. Milly spent thirty years looking after everyone else — first her boys, then her parents — and decided this decade would be hers. Venice by train, northern soul dancing, and a diamond ring her partner didn't know he was buying yet.

Karen's off poorly this week, so Kaye goes solo and gets the lot: the millennium fireworks that marked the start of Milly's freedom, the agent who said yes when she'd written five words, and the line from her dad's love letter now tattooed on her arm — I don't feel like being sensible anymore. Milly's 23rd novel, Let the Bells Ring Out, is out in October.

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On this week's Midweek Catchup, we come back down to earth after the Fringe — to a filthy house, a poorly husband and the guilty remains of a packet of chocolate-covered pecans. Kaye's been in London doing ITV, where she talked a very nice photographer into taking her passport photo while she still had her telly makeup on. That's her sorted until she's 72. Karen, meanwhile, has been collecting firewood. In August.

Mostly though, this one belongs to the emails from people who came to the Edinburgh shows. There's one that nearly finishes Karen off, and a sorry tale from Katie, whose train from Aberdeen stopped after ten minutes and sat there for four and a half hours — she never made it to the show at all. If we ever do a tour, Aberdeen, we're coming to you. And there is talk of a tour. We're saying nothing else for now.

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On this week's episode, we're joined by Jan Birley, who decided at 58 that she was going to produce a feature film, and had one finished by 60.

She'd spent thirty years as an IT project manager, and by her own count she has been in the film industry for two. She raised a budget of around £800,000, put her own money in, and when an experienced line producer told her she wasn't ready, she told him she'd crew it up herself and do it. He came back a couple of days later and said he was in. The film is Hot Flash, shot in Yorkshire, with Gaynor Faye as a woman starting again in her forties with no money and a business idea nobody has asked for. Jan also tells us about the fear of heights that turned into a climbing habit, the triathlons she signed up for before she could swim, and the mentor who told her years ago to put "writer" in her email signature. She never did. She does now.

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On this week's Midweek Catchup, we're coming to you from the dungeon of Teviot House, an hour before our final Fringe show, because Karen wants to catch the free bus home. Three sell-out shows, nerves that leave the coffee sitting somewhere between chest and throat, and a suspiciously big round of applause for Karen that Kaye is trying not to take personally. Plus a dash to the laundrette with the sheets from Bonnie's student flat, a surprise family delegation in the audience, and a boiler that gave up the moment Karen left the house.

A huge thank you to everyone who came along to the shows, and to all of you who listen every week. It means more than you know. On Friday we're joined by Jan Birley, who wrote and produced her first ever feature film at 60 — Hot Flash, starring Gaynor Faye, in cinemas this autumn.

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