In this episode of How to Blow Up Your Life, Sara Stansberry takes on one of the most tender and charged topics of all: dysfunctional family systems — and how they quietly shape the way we love, relate, and see ourselves.

Drawing from personal experience and years of coaching work, Sara explores how dysfunction often shows up not as chaos, but as emotional manipulation, conditional love, unspoken rules, and role-casting that follows us well into adulthood. She unpacks how families can weaponize emotions, deny reality, and blur boundaries — leaving us questioning our instincts and ignoring the body’s signals that something isn’t safe.

This conversation isn’t about vilifying parents or cutting ties. It’s about learning to recognize unhealthy patterns, understand your emotional and physiological responses, and begin choosing yourself without shame. Sara walks listeners through what happens when boundaries are introduced into dysfunctional systems — why they’re often met with resistance — and why protecting your emotional health is not a betrayal.

At its core, this episode is an invitation to redefine family, reclaim your worth, and create relationships — biological or chosen — that are rooted in respect, safety, and truth.

Key Topics Covered

What defines a dysfunctional family system

Emotional manipulation and conditional love

Family roles and how they follow us into adulthood

The body’s response to unsafe emotional dynamics

Why boundaries often trigger backlash

Loving your family without abandoning yourself

Healing family wounds to transform all relationships

Choosing your family of choice

Self-worth as the foundation for growth

Episode Takeaways

Dysfunctional families often weaponize emotion and attachment

Conditional love creates confusion and self-doubt

Family roles can shape adult identity and behavior

Your body signals when dynamics aren’t safe

Boundaries may provoke strong reactions — and that’s information

You can love your family and still protect yourself

Healing family wounds impacts every relationship

You’re allowed to choose your family of choice

Your feelings and perceptions deserve to be honored

Healing is a lifelong process that requires self-compassion

What's Next

As Season 2 continues, Sara builds on these insights by exploring how early family dynamics intersect with trauma, identity, relationships, and self-trust — offering tools to help you create safer, more aligned connections moving forward.

Stay Connected

Follow me for more reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes:

Substack: https://sarastansberry.substack.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarastansberry/?hl=en

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Disclaimer

Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to address specific medical conditions. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only.

⚠️ Content Note / Trigger Warning

This episode includes discussion of sexual trauma, childhood sexual abuse, coercion, grooming, repression, and their impact on intimacy, relationships, and the nervous system. Please listen with care and at your own pace.

If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual violence or assault, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is available at 800-656-HOPE (4673) for confidential emotional support and crisis intervention.

Episode Description:

In this episode of How to Blow Up Your Life, Sara is joined by author and survivor April Daniels for a compassionate, deeply honest conversation about sexual trauma and how it shapes intimacy, trust, embodiment, and our relationship with ourselves.

April shares how repressed memories surfaced during her healing journey, and how trauma can disconnect us not only from the past, but from joy, creativity, presence, and our bodies. Together, Sara and April explore how sexual trauma often shows up in adulthood through over-functioning, emotional distance, difficulty with boundaries, and disconnection from the self.

This episode also unpacks how sexual trauma isn’t always overt—it can include coercion, grooming, psychological violation, and power disguised as normalcy. Healing, as April shares, isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about returning to who you already are.

April also reflects on how her story is tragically connected to those of Elizabeth Smart and Kacie Woody—two cases that underscore the lasting impact of sexual violence. Elizabeth Smart’s advocacy and foundation have brought awareness and change, while Kacie Woody’s story, shared through public reporting and her Wikipedia page, reminds us of the devastating stakes when children are not protected.

Her message to survivors is clear and powerful: If I can do it, you can do it.

About the Guest:

April Daniels is the author of Paper Dolls and Cowboy Boots, a memoir about healing from sexual trauma and reclaiming the self.

Book: Paper Dolls and Cowboy Boots by April Daniels and Carol Scott

Additional Links:

- Book: My Father’s House: Memoir of Incest and Healing by Sylvia Fraser

- Resource: Elizabeth Smart Foundation

- More Information: News report on Kacie Woody

Coming Next:

🎧 New episodes drop every Wednesday.Next week’s episode explores Dysfunctional Family Systems and how family patterns shape what we tolerate, normalize, and repeat—until we decide to heal.

Work With Me:

Learn more about coaching and apply here:👉 https://www.sarastansberry.com

Stay Connected

Follow me for more reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes:

Substack: https://sarastansberry.substack.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarastansberry/?hl=en

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sarastansberry

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarastansberry/

Disclaimer

Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to address specific medical conditions. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only.

In this episode of How to Blow Up Your Life, Sara Stansberry completes the Adult Chair Model series by stepping fully into the Adult Chair — the part of you that is grounded, present, emotionally regulated, and capable of conscious choice.

The Adult Chair represents your wisest and healthiest self — not a perfect version of you, but the one who can stay connected to emotions without being overtaken by them. Sara shares personal stories and real-life applications that show how to access this part of yourself in moments of conflict, uncertainty, and emotional intensity.

Rather than reacting from old patterns shaped by the inner child or the adolescent chair, the Adult Chair allows you to pause, breathe, and respond with intention. Sara explores what it truly means to set boundaries with love, how self-compassion stabilizes the nervous system, and why emotional awareness — not emotional suppression — is the foundation of a balanced life.

This episode serves as the capstone of the Adult Chair Model framework, while opening the door to deeper conversations ahead. The tools and insights shared here become the grounding lens through which the rest of Season 2 unfolds — from relationships and trauma to identity, healing, and conscious change.

Key Topics Covered

- What the Adult Chair represents in daily life

- Choosing response over reaction

- Presence as a pathway to regulation and clarity

- Boundaries rooted in love rather than fear

- Self-compassion as an adult skill

- Feeling emotions without letting them dictate behavior

- Grounding techniques to access your healthiest self

- Relationships as catalysts for growth and awareness

- Conflict as information, not failure

Episode Takeaways

- The Adult Chair represents your wisest and healthiest self

- Presence creates space for conscious choice

- Loving boundaries are essential for healthy relationships

- Your adult self operates outside of automatic patterns

- Self-compassion supports emotional regulation

- Emotions are meant to be felt, not acted out

- Grounding techniques help access clarity

- Relationships activate healing and growth

- Conflict reveals areas that need care

- The Adult Chair is a powerful tool you’ll return to again and again

Relevant Links From This Episode

- The STOP Method

- My Creative Destruction Workbook

What's Next

While this episode completes the Adult Chair Model series, it also lays the foundation for the rest of Season 2. In the episodes ahead, Sara builds on this framework through deeper conversations about trauma, relationships, recovery, embodiment, and what it truly means to live with intention.

Stay Connected

Follow me for more reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes:

Substack: https://sarastansberry.substack.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarastansberry/?hl=en

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sarastansberry

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarastansberry/

Disclaimer

Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to address specific medical conditions. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only.

In this episode of How to Blow Up Your Life, Sara Stansberry continues the Adult Chair Model series by introducing the Adolescent Chair — the part of us that learned to survive through control, protection, and resistance.

Formed during moments of fear, uncertainty, or emotional overwhelm, the adolescent chair steps in when we don’t feel safe. It’s the voice behind perfectionism, people-pleasing, hyper-independence, judgment, and the need to manage outcomes. While this part of us is deeply protective, it often keeps us stuck in rigid patterns that damage relationships, exhaust our nervous systems, and block true growth.

Sara unpacks how the adolescent chair differs from the inner child — and why it’s often misidentified as “confidence” or “strength.” Through clear examples and compassionate reframing, she shows how this part isn’t the enemy, but a younger version of you that learned control because it didn’t feel supported.

This episode offers practical tools for recognizing when your adolescent chair is activated, how to engage with it without shame, and how to begin shifting out of defense and into the grounded clarity of the Adult Chair. If you’ve ever felt locked in power struggles — with others or yourself — this conversation will help you loosen your grip and create space for something healthier.

Key Topics Covered

What the Adolescent Chair is and why it develops

Control, perfectionism, and judgment as survival strategies

How protection can quietly turn into self-sabotage

The difference between true strength and defensive control

Why your adolescent chair isn’t the problem

Recognizing signs you’re operating from this part

Using curiosity instead of criticism to create change

How awareness helps you transition into the Adult Chair

Episode Takeaways

The adolescent chair is a protector part of you

Control strategies often backfire and harm connection

Perfectionism is a learned survival response

Your adolescent self is trying to keep you safe, not sabotage you

Awareness creates choice — and choice creates growth

Recognizing adolescent patterns is key to healing

Asking questions builds understanding instead of shame

Emotional health requires engagement, not suppression

Transitioning into the adult chair takes practice and self-awareness

Compassion toward your adolescent self is essential for healing

What’s Next

In the next episode, Sara brings the model together by stepping fully into the Adult Chair — the grounded, present, fully actualized part of you capable of choice, boundaries, and emotional regulation.

Stay Connected

Follow me for more reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes:

Substack: https://sarastansberry.substack.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarastansberry/?hl=en

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sarastansberry

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarastansberry/

Disclaimer

Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to address specific medical conditions. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only.

In this foundational episode of How to Blow Up Your Life, Sara Stansberry introduces the Adult Chair Model, beginning with the chair that shapes us first and often loudest: the Inner Child.Sara breaks down how our inner child is formed between the ages of zero and seven, and how unmet needs, early attachment wounds, and childhood coping mechanisms quietly continue to run the show in our adult lives. From emotional reactivity and people-pleasing to shutdown, shame, and overwhelm — this part of us is often trying to protect us, even when it’s causing harm.This episode isn’t about pathologizing your past or blaming caregivers. It’s about learning how to recognize when your inner child is activated, understanding the difference between honoring that part of you versus being hijacked by it, and beginning the work of reparenting yourself with compassion, structure, and safety.Sara shares personal insights, real-life examples, and practical tools you can start using immediately — including how boundaries, play, creativity, and emotional attunement become powerful healing practices. This conversation lays the groundwork for the entire Adult Chair Model and offers a new lens for understanding your triggers, patterns, and emotional world.Perfect for anyone who feels like they “know better” but still reacts in ways they don’t understand — and for anyone ready to stop abandoning themselves and start becoming the safe adult their inner child has been waiting for.

Key Topics Covered:- What the Inner Child actually is — and how it’s formed- The difference between honoring your inner child vs. being run by it- How childhood wounds show up as adult triggers- Why emotional reactivity is information, not failure- Reparenting yourself with safety, consistency, and care- Boundaries as an act of love for your inner child- The role of play, creativity, and joy in healing- How awareness creates choice — and choice creates change

Episode Takeaways:- The inner child develops between ages 0–7 and shapes our emotional responses- Unmet childhood needs can create a wounded inner child- Triggers are often signals from unhealed parts of ourselves- Honoring your inner child is essential for emotional health- Boundaries are a critical form of self-care and protection- Creativity and play help restore joy and safety- Awareness is the first step toward healing- Reparenting yourself builds trust and emotional resilience- Listening to your inner child deepens self-understanding- Healing doesn’t erase the past — it changes your relationship to it

What’s Next:This episode kicks off a multi-part series on the Adult Chair Model. In the next episode, Sara dives into the Adolescent Chair — exploring rebellion, defense mechanisms, and the parts of us that learned to survive by pushing back.

Stay Connected

Follow me for more reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes:

Substack: https://sarastansberry.substack.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarastansberry/?hl=en

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sarastansberry

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarastansberry/

Disclaimer:Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to address specific medical conditions. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only.

🎧 How to Blow Up Your Life — Season 2 Trailer

How to Blow Up Your Life is a podcast about deliberate change—burning down what’s breaking you so you can build what’s meant for you.

Season 2 is the rebuilding.

Host Sara Stansberry explores healing patterns, rebuilding identity, navigating ambivalence, and learning how to live from the Adult Chair—through honest solo episodes and powerful guest conversations.

Season 2 launches February 4.Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Substack, and wherever you listen.

You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

In this powerful conversation, Sara sits down with serial entrepreneur and author Jess Greenwood to explore the profound difference between happiness and joy. After navigating her mother's terminal cancer diagnosis, single parenting during COVID lockdowns, and her husband's devastating motorcycle accident that required ten surgeries, Jess discovered something life-changing: joy doesn't abandon us during our darkest moments - it hangs out with our trauma, waiting for us to make space for it.

Unlike happiness, which Jess describes as floating "in your eyebrows," joy lives deep in your gut. It's involuntary, organic, and shows up sideways when you least expect it. Through raw storytelling, Jess shares how she went from believing joy was "b******t" to understanding it as a constant companion that requires no action from us except openness.

This isn't about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. It's about recognizing that you can experience profound joy even while sitting in hospital waiting rooms, even while grieving, even while everything feels uncertain. As Jess puts it, "Joy is the resistance" - choosing to make space for these moments is an act of rebellion against fear and anxiety.

Perfect for anyone who's ever felt guilty for laughing during hard times or wondered if they're "allowed" to experience joy while others are suffering. Sara and Jess explore the relationship between joy and hope, the importance of embodiment, and why learning to recognize joy in your body might be the most important skill you never knew you needed. This conversation with life coaching for women will leave you with a completely new understanding of what it means to truly live, not just survive.00:00 - Welcome and introduction to Sara Stansberry01:45 - Meet Jess Greenwood: From genetics to writing to joy exploration03:20 - The trauma that started everything: Mom's cancer diagnosis and COVID05:15 - Single parenting through grief and career changes06:30 - The motorcycle accident that changed everything08:45 - Finding humor in the ER: "This is how we cope"10:20 - Four years of survival mode and losing touch with happiness12:10 - What does joy actually mean? Joy vs happiness defined15:30 - Is joy something we have or something we cultivate?17:45 - The whiteboard story: Finding agency in powerlessness20:15 - Joy as a constant companion, even in the canyon22:40 - The difference between joy and love25:20 - From thinking joy was "b******t" to building trust28:10 - How joy has softened and opened space30:45 - Joy as the resistance against fear and anxiety33:20 - The self-worth component: "Joy wasn't in the cards for me"36:15 - Gratitude as the gateway to joy38:45 - Joy at the beach: All versions of yourself in one place41:30 - Real life joy: When your book arrives but gymnastics waits43:20 - The relationship between joy and hope45:50 - Writing as a tool for healing and pivoting48:10 - Creating space for joy in 8 million different ways49:30 - Sharing stories instead of prescriptive advice50:45 - Where to find Jess Greenwood and closing thoughts

Disclaimer: Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for an individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to answer questions about specific medical conditions. This podcast is for entertainment and information purposes only.

Ever catch yourself wondering why the same relationship drama keeps happening with different people? In this episode, we're diving deep into those sneaky patterns that keep us stuck in cycles we don't even realize we're in.

Sara breaks down the most common unhealthy relationship patterns - from the rescuer who's always fixing someone to the conflict-avoider who'd rather suffer in silence than rock the boat. We're talking about that push-pull dynamic, the perfectionist performance trap, and why some of us keep choosing emotionally unavailable people like it's our job.

But here's where it gets real - these patterns aren't random. They're usually rooted in childhood survival strategies that helped us navigate our early environments but are now sabotaging our adult connections. Sara explains how unresolved trauma gets re-scripted in our current relationships as we unconsciously try to "win" situations we couldn't control as kids.

The good news? Awareness is the first step to change, and taking responsibility (without self-blame) gives you back your power. This episode is packed with practical steps for breaking these cycles, from mapping your relationship history to developing new responses to old triggers.

Whether you're stuck in romantic relationships, friendships, family dynamics, or workplace patterns, this episode offers hope and actionable strategies. Female empowerment coaching meets real talk about why we do what we do - and how to do it differently.

Disclaimer: Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for an individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to answer questions about specific medical conditions. This podcast is for entertainment and information purposes only.

Ever feel like you're back in middle school, standing with your cafeteria tray, wondering where to sit? That's exactly how I felt at Cheryl Strayed's writing conference - until I met Amy and Kendra. We bonded over our shared anxieties: wrong socks, awkward parking encounters, and the universal fear of not being accepted.

This episode dives deep into how three grown women navigated vulnerability, imposter syndrome, and the truth beneath the truth. We explore why we fixate on small things (like socks) when we're really worried about bigger issues (like belonging). From Amy's sweat-soaked hill climbs to Kendra's writing prompt panic to my bizarre parking lot confrontation, we share the messy, beautiful reality of showing up authentically.

We unpack why even successful women in their 40s and 50s still carry middle school wounds, and how finding your people can happen in the most unexpected moments. Sometimes you need to embrace being awkward and weird to find where you belong.

Disclaimer: Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for an individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to answer questions about specific medical conditions. This podcast is for entertainment and information purposes only.

In this episode of "How to Blow Up Your Life," Sara Stansberry dives deep into the often misunderstood concept of forgiveness. She explains that true forgiveness is more about acceptance than relationship restoration - it's cutting the invisible string that ties you to pain and resentment.

Through a compelling client story, Sara illustrates how holding onto hurt actually makes us slaves to our past, preventing us from building the future we desire. As one of the top female life coaches in the space, Sara offers practical wisdom on how to recognize when forgiveness might be necessary in your life and why it doesn't require interaction with the person who hurt you.

Sara emphasizes that forgiveness is an internal process that frees YOU, not the other person. She provides insight on how to trace back wounds to their origin, heal them properly, and release the resentment that may be poisoning multiple areas of your life. Whether you're struggling with a past relationship, family conflict, or workplace incident, this episode offers a roadmap to freedom through forgiveness.

Disclaimer: Always seek the counsel of a qualified medical and/or mental health practitioner or other healthcare provider for an individual consultation before making any significant changes to your health or lifestyle, or to answer questions about specific medical conditions. This podcast is for entertainment and information purposes only.