LOA Today - Your Daily Dose Of Happy

How to Create the Intimacy You Crave with Valerie Greene


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Are you tired of endless arguments that leave you feeling disconnected and frustrated?

Valerie Greene's powerful insights reveal a transformative approach to resolving relationship conflicts that goes far beyond traditional communication strategies.

In a raw and vulnerable conversation, Valerie shares her personal journey from experiencing constant family arguments to becoming a relationship coach who helps couples and individuals break free from destructive communication patterns.

Her story begins with childhood experiences of confrontational communication, where she learned that relationships often devolved into battles of being "right" versus being happy.

The heart of Valerie's approach lies in a revolutionary concept: needs don't conflict, only strategies do. This profound understanding challenges the traditional notion that relationships require constant compromise. Instead, she teaches people to dig deeper, understanding the underlying emotions and core needs that drive conflict.

One powerful technique Valerie introduces is the art of validation. This isn't about agreeing with everything your partner says, but truly hearing and acknowledging their feelings and perspectives. She uses a beautiful analogy of blind men describing an elephant - each person sees a different part of the truth, and understanding comes from listening to multiple perspectives.

The conversation reveals critical insights into human communication:

  • Our ego naturally resists being wrong
  • Survival instincts make us defensive
  • Triggered emotions drain blood from our thinking brain
  • Validation is the key to breaking defensive cycles


Valerie's method involves asking deep, compassionate questions. Instead of attacking or defending, she recommends:

  • Validate the other person's feelings
  • Ask about their underlying needs
  • Explore the intention behind their actions
  • Create collaborative solutions

The most striking takeaway is her approach to victim mentality. Rather than dismissing it, she validates feelings while challenging limiting thoughts. She helps people move from feeling hopeless to feeling empowered by understanding their deeper emotional landscape.

For those struggling in relationships, Valerie offers hope. Her free video training, "Three Steps to Stop Fighting and Start Connecting," provides practical tools for transforming conflict into intimacy.

Her website, CoachValerieGreene.com, offers resources for couples, singles, and anyone seeking healthier relationship dynamics.

The conversation is a masterclass in emotional intelligence, showing that true connection comes from compassion, deep listening, and a willingness to understand rather than be right.

LOA Today Episode Page: https://www.loatoday.net/valerie-greene


Valerie Greene's Website: https://coachvaleriegreene.com/


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LOA Today - Your Daily Dose Of HappyBy Walt Thiessen

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