Struck by Cupid's arrow but the other person doesn't even know you exist? Memorising their timetable so you accidentally pass them in the corridor? Going completely mad with unrequited love or even unrequited friendship? The official harbingers of love, Stevie and Tessa, walk you back from the edge of your feelings and admit they don't know what harbinger means.

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Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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