Intimacy Evolution

"How to fight" -- effective communication to use during conflict -- ep 4


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Conflicts within a relationship are inevitable, but learning how to navigate them before they turn into a full-blown argument can help maintain the connection, and lessen the damage.  This week Mark & Bri discuss how to use effective communication during conflict in relation to the Gottman Method.  Mark is Gottman trained and has helped many couples implement these various techniques in their relationships. Keep in mind these are great to use in a variety of relationship, such as friendships, with family & kids!

Suggestions on how to implement these techniques after listening: 

  • reflect on the 4 Horsemen and how you may get activated when conflict arises
  • write down how you can implement an exit strategy when you notice you or your partner has hit the stonewall phase and what you can do to get back to a calmer more regulated state in your body. ie take a walk, listen to music, breath work, mediation, etc.
  • Have your partner listen and do the same.  
  • Schedule a time to come together and discuss how this looks to both of you and what each of you have come up with for your exit strategies. 
  • Come up with a word or phrase to remind each other of the "WE" mindset. 


Self-Soothing tips for high conflict couples

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Instagram: @mark_carey_

Website: IntimacyEvolution.com

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Intimacy EvolutionBy Brianna & Mark Carey

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