The Dad Edge Podcast

This week I sat down with Bradley James Davies, a best selling author, keynote speaker, and ICF certified executive coach trained at Georgetown University who calls himself a professional listener. Bradley has spent more than two decades in education, wrote School Leadership From A to Z, and once spent a year driving the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

We talk about next level listening, including the three levels of listening, always solving syndrome, and a technique called mirroring. Bradley explains why asking what beats asking why, and I share a real moment with my son where I wish I could have a replay. We also get into why repair, not harmony, is where trust and safety live. If you want your wife and kids to feel heard, understood, and valued, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses

[4:25] Larry welcomes Bradley and asks about his first job out of college, driving the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in 1997

[7:33] The silent tax of not listening, and why the pain of poor listening is rarely felt in the moment

[9:33] The Boston story: ignoring a warning about low clearance and getting stuck with a 27 foot hot dog

[15:17] Larry introduces Bradley as a best selling author, ICF certified coach, and professional listener

[17:42] The three levels of listening, and the listening stool: ears, eyes, and emotions

[21:12] Why safety and tonality come first when you listen to your wife or your kids

[22:33] Always solving syndrome: why fixing is not what she wants, and what to ask instead

[25:32] Speak less and speak last, and be her ride or die without carrying her through the trenches

[28:07] Mirroring: using their exact words, with an example from a child who says "I hate math"

[34:39] Why "what" beats "why": why questions invite defensiveness and what questions invite sharing

[36:43] Your best self when the milk spills: staying calm and using what questions with your kids

[39:05] Larry's game film: his ten year old left the house without a word, and how he could have responded

[44:31] The power of repair: owning your fear and circling back with your son at bedtime

[48:17] Harmony, disharmony, and repair: why trust and safety live in how we repair

[51:13] Where to find Bradley and his upcoming book, Next Level Listening, coming in 2027

Key Takeaways

1. Listen with your ears, your eyes, and your emotions, because the goal of next level listening is more information and more intimacy.
2. Watch for always solving syndrome, and when your wife or kids share a problem, create safety and let them talk instead of rushing to fix it.
3. Use mirroring to keep them in the driver's seat by repeating their exact words and asking them to tell you more.
4. Replace "why" with "what," because why invites defensiveness and what invites sharing.
5. Trust lives in repair, so regulate yourself first, then circle back and own your part with your wife and your kids.

Links & Resources

• Bradley James Davies: https://www.bradleyjamesdavies.com
• It's Not About the Nail (Jason Headley): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apf3mVaYDKE
• Boardroom Mastermind Guest Session: https://thedadedge.com/guest
• Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1557

Closing

Bradley's Wienermobile story about the silent tax of not listening stuck with me because it shows how rarely we feel the cost of poor listening in the moment. The game film conversation about my son and the spilled milk reminded me that I can be a better listener by becoming a better man. Pick one moment this week to say "tell me more" to your wife or your kids. Go out and live legendary.

In this November Alliance Q&A I'm joined by Rich, one of our coaches who runs the Launch Years call on Friday mornings, since Uncle Joe got promoted and couldn't make it. We take two questions: how to let your kids struggle without bulldozing every barrier when they move from homeschool to public school, and how to handle a marriage where physical intimacy has dried up and you're starting to shut down.

We talk about the difference between uncomfortable and overwhelmed, teaching kids how to think instead of what to think, and fixed mindset versus growth mindset. I share my own story about my oldest son at college, then we get into rejection, why asking what beats asking why, and why safety and connection come before intimacy. If you're a dad guiding your kids through a big change or living in roommate syndrome, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[1:01] Larry opens the November Q&A with two questions: kids struggling through a school change, and a dried up sex life [3:21] Rich explains the Launch Years call for teens and his experience with homeschool, public school, and private school [6:41] Chris asks how to support his daughter moving from homeschool to public school without removing every barrier [10:20] Rich: is she uncomfortable or overwhelmed, and why to teach her how to think, not what to think [12:19] Chris on struggle as part of learning, and the gap between surface familiarity and real mastery [14:36] Fixed mindset versus growth mindset, and why a D on a test is not your identity [16:11] Larry's oldest son at college: weeks of silence, a weekly ten minute FaceTime, and support instead of fixing [20:28] Relationship equity: does a hard moment leave you closer, or does it damage trust [22:34] Marcus from London writes in: his wife doesn't want physical intimacy and he is starting to shut down [24:59] Rich on expectations and rejection, why emotional withdrawal feeds the cycle, and taking sex off the table [28:49] Why asking what instead of why keeps your wife from getting defensive [32:10] Why "why aren't we having more sex" feels like "I'm not enough," and dates built on curiosity, not logistics [35:08] State observations instead of opinions, name how you feel, and tell her what you do want [37:14] What men really want is to feel wanted, and why loud chores with strings attached kill attraction [39:13] Safety is attractive: "I don't need a thing from you, I just want to love you for a minute" [40:33] Closing advice: don't let rejection make you unavailable, plus the November promo

Key Takeaways

1. Before you step in, ask whether your child is uncomfortable, which helps them grow, or overwhelmed, which makes it hard for them to think.
2. Support your child without removing the barrier by teaching them how to think about the problem and letting them know you are always in their corner.
3. Use the scoreboard of whether a hard moment leaves you and your child closer or damages trust, because the relationship matters more than any single class or situation.
4. When you want more intimacy in your marriage, take the pressure off, drop the expectation of something in return, and focus on building connection with your wife.
5. Ask what instead of why and state facts and how you feel, because why questions put the other person on the defense.

Links & Resources

• Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1556

Closing

The moment that stuck with me was Chris's scoreboard question: after a hard situation, are we closer, or did we damage trust? Rich's reminder not to let the pain of rejection turn you into a husband who isn't emotionally available is worth holding onto too. This week, come to your wife or your kids with no expectation and tell them you just want to love on them. Go out and live legendary.

This week I sat down with Shawn Bonneteau, the founder of Secret Habit Coaching, an inner child recovery specialist, and a certified professional mentor who helps Christian men break free from pornography and unwanted sexual behaviors. Since 2018 he has walked with men through more than 3,000 coaching sessions, and he has had nine years of freedom and sobriety after a 14 year struggle of his own.

We talk about the betrayal trauma a wife goes through, why clarity must come before strategy in recovery, and what Shawn calls the hungry heart beneath pornography addiction. He shares four sources for meeting those heart hungers, what to do after a relapse, and how to talk with your kids about sexuality through a thousand small conversations. If you want to understand what is really driving the struggle and become a leader of your own story, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses

[4:25] Larry welcomes Shawn, a Canadian living in the Czech Republic with his wife and two daughters, with a third on the way

[9:22] Shawn's 14 year struggle with pornography, becoming a Christian at 22, and how his wife called him forward

[12:40] Two months into marriage, a relapse in the middle of the night, and the morning Shawn told his wife

[14:15] Helena's garden analogy: trust as a garden, and what she needed to see from Shawn

[22:24] Betrayal trauma: why it took two years for Helena to heal and why wives' healing gets so little attention

[28:32] Proverbs 4:23: why guarding your heart is not enough, and why everything you do flows from it

[31:41] Larry as the guinea pig: how stress and overwhelm point to powerlessness and a hunger for reassurance

[40:02] Why pornography promises to meet a hungry heart, and why using Scripture as a hammer falls short

[45:42] Four sources to meet your heart hunger, plus a premeditated plan for the red zone

[48:45] Why men hide from God in their shame, and why repentance is really about restoring intimacy

[51:23] Larry asks about reconciliation, and Shawn on confessing your sins to the Lord and to trusted men

[58:33] What to do after a relapse: ask what you felt was true instead of spiraling in shame

[60:37] Talking to your kids about sexuality through a thousand small conversations, starting with your own story

[64:55] Shawn's stance on masturbation without porn, and why intimacy begins outside the bedroom

[69:44] Where to find Shawn and his podcast, plus his free quiz on what your heart is hungry for

Key Takeaways

1. Being sober is not the same as being free, so get clear on the hunger underneath the behavior instead of only trying to quit.
2. Use your feelings as clues, because stress and overwhelm often point to feeling powerless, and what the heart needs then is reassurance.
3. Build a plan before you reach the red zone, drawing on four sources: God, other people, your own interests, and serving others.
4. Bring it into the light, because confessing to a trusted person restores intimacy, and after a relapse the best question is what you felt was true.
5. Learn your own story and have a thousand small conversations with your kids, while building the trust and safety your wife needs.

Links & Resources

• Secret Habit (Shawn Bonneteau): https://secrethabit.ca
• Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
• Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• Episode Page: https://thedadedge.com/1555

Closing

The part that stayed with me was Helena's garden, and how she told Shawn that trust is something you till and care for, not something you walk through while looking at other gardens. Shawn's reminder that stress, anxiety, and shame are clues pointing to what our hearts are hungry for gave me a new way to look at my own need for reassurance. If you are carrying something in secret, pick one trusted person this week and tell them the truth. Go out and live legendary.

This week I sat down with Rick Jordan, a self-made entrepreneur, CEO, keynote speaker, and host of Frequency with Rick Jordan. Rick went from financial struggles and nearly losing his home to building a company from the ground up and taking it public without outside investors or private equity, and he has made more than 1,200 media appearances on networks like Fox, Bloomberg, NBC, CBS, and ABC. He is also a dad of three, including twins.

We talk about his one word parenting philosophy, proximity, and how to connect with a teenager by entering their world. Rick shares the moment he stared up at a tornado and realized he had no regrets, losing his dad at 16, and the first six months of his business when his family was close to foreclosure. We get into self-examination, facing consequences, why "it's not that bad yet" can cost a man his marriage, and what it takes for a couple to keep growing together. If you want to live with no regrets as a husband and a father, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses

[4:25] Larry welcomes Rick Jordan, and two dads compare notes on kids leaving for college and missing home

[9:33] Rick's one word parenting philosophy, proximity, and how he has kept it from newborn twins to age 19

[14:47] A client with four teenagers spends hardly any time with them, and the pedicure reframe: enter their world

[19:07] Larry drives six hours to see his son at Arkansas and spends the day on groceries, laundry, and football

[23:11] Rick watches a tornado form 150 feet from his studio and finds he has no regrets

[30:03] Self-examination: a Navy SEAL friend asks "is it true?" and why you own the facts without apology

[35:22] Rick loses his dad at 16, and the uncle who caught him outside the house and helped him accept it

[43:04] A grief expert's chair analogy: let the chair fall and let yourself feel the grief

[46:06] Best Buy layoffs, newborn twins, and a near foreclosure in 2007 before a first $3,000 a month deal

[50:30] Why Rick held out six months for the right clients and reached $250K a year in recurring revenue

[52:27] "It's not that bad yet": why men wait on their marriage until their options fall off the table

[57:43] Choose your hard: why facing consequences is the core of being a man and a dad

[59:57] If your partner is growing faster, it's on you to catch up, and on them to lift you up

[63:30] Falling in love with your spouse seven times, and why you can't go back to who you used to be

[65:29] Rick's closing challenge to face the consequences, plus where to find him and his show

Five Key Takeaways

1. Make proximity your parenting philosophy by staying close to your kids at every age, and ask what works for their schedule instead of demanding their time.
2. With teenagers, enter their world instead of pulling them into yours, like the dad who finally asked his daughter to go get a pedicure.
3. Practice regular self-examination by asking "is it true?" so you can own the facts, and remember that one bad moment doesn't define you, your response does.
4. Face the consequences instead of avoiding them, because "it's not that bad yet" lets your options in your marriage and your life quietly expire.
5. Keep growing with your spouse, and if you feel left behind, it's on you to catch up while your partner helps lift you up.

Links & Resources

• Rick Jordan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrrickjordan
• Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
• Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1554

Closing

The moment that stuck with me most was Rick staring up into that tornado and realizing there was nothing he wanted to change, because he had spent his life intentionally with the people who matter most. His story about the uncle who caught him at 16 and his reminder that "it's not that bad yet" is a trap are the kind of honest lessons that help us choose our hard on purpose. Pick one thing from this conversation this week, maybe asking your teenager what their world looks like right now. Go out and live legendary.

This week I brought Sam Rosenberg back to the Dad Edge for a special Q&A with the guys in our Alliance. Sam is a former Marine Corps officer and the founder of Live Ready. He spent years protecting heads of state, CEOs, and celebrities, and he has trained tens of thousands of people to recognize threats before they become emergencies. I learned a ton from his first episode, so I wanted the men in our community to put their own questions in front of him.

We cover how to build situational awareness in your kids with a simple restaurant game, why "don't talk to strangers" gets it backwards, and what a young child should do if they get separated from you. Sam shares the sticky octopus drill, how to think about safety in a high conflict co-parenting situation, how to teach a teenage boy to de-escalate, how Krav Maga and jiu jitsu compare, and how to stay vigilant without making your family anxious. If you want to be the protector your family needs without living in fear, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses

[4:12] Larry sets up a special Alliance Q&A with Sam Rosenberg of Live Ready, back after his first Dad Edge episode

[8:17] A dad with four kids under 13 asks how to help his children become more aware

[9:57] The restaurant game: find the emergency exit and the kitchen every time you sit down

[13:32] Why "don't talk to strangers" is backwards, and teaching kids to recognize strangeness instead

[15:03] Teaching kids to trust their gut, and letting them order at Starbucks to build confidence

[17:33] The simple rule if a child is separated from you: find a mother

[19:07] Common lures like the lost dog, then the sticky octopus drill and shouting "this is not my dad"

[23:31] A dad asks how to protect his boys in a high conflict co-parenting situation

[30:11] Teaching a 16 year old boy to protect himself, starting with de-escalation and keeping his ego in check

[32:15] A story of teenage boys who stepped in to help and were charged as mutually combative

[37:06] Krav Maga versus jiu jitsu for real world protection, and why the instructor matters most

[41:29] How to stay vigilant without making your wife and kids feel anxious

[45:25] The sheepdog analogy, and giving yourself procedures so you can relax

[49:58] Where to find Sam, plus his free book and online Radar course for Dad Edge listeners

[52:04] Closing thoughts and where to find the links from today's conversation

Key Takeaways

1. Turn situational awareness into a game with your kids, like asking them to find the exits and the kitchen every time you sit down at a restaurant.
2. Teach your kids to recognize strangeness and trust their gut instead of just "don't talk to strangers," and give them a simple plan to find a mother if they ever get separated from you.
3. Rehearse the lures and the drill with your kids, like the lost dog trick, the sticky octopus hold, and yelling "this is not my dad."
4. For a teenage boy, teach de-escalation first, invest in real training, and make sure he understands the legal side, because the goal is always to get out of the situation.
5. Replace anxiety with confidence by building your family's skills and giving yourself times to be switched on and times to relax.

Links & Resources

• Live Ready (Sam Rosenberg): https://www.liveready.co/
• Live Ready, the Book: https://www.liveready.co/book
• Live Ready on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LiveReadyCo
• Sam Rosenberg's First Dad Edge Episode: https://thedadedge.com/1517
• Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
• Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1553

Closing

What I'll remember most from this conversation is how Sam turned safety into something kids can actually enjoy, from finding the kitchen exit at a restaurant to yelling "this is not my dad" in a game they'll want to play again. His answer about the dad who worried he was paranoid reminded me that vigilance and peace aren't opposites, and that the best protectors build confidence in their families instead of fear. Pick one thing to practice with your kids this week, maybe the restaurant exit game at your next meal. Go out and live legendary.

This week I'm doing something a little different. Instead of interviewing a guest, I'm replaying a conversation I had as the guest on Jake Kastleman's podcast. Jake runs No More Desire, a porn recovery platform, and we went deep on marriage, fatherhood, and learning to face our emotions instead of numbing them. I share the night I lost my temper with my four year old that led me to start the Good Dad Project, and why I now believe being a husband and a father are skills we can learn.

We get practical on connecting with your wife through empathy and validation, why replacing "why" with "tell me more" changes a conversation, and how to create psychological safety at home. I also share the lifeguard picture for staying steady when someone you love is upset, and the 12 days I spent alone after rupturing my patella tendon, refusing to numb anything out. If you're drifting in your marriage or want to show up better for your wife and kids, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction and the November promo: The Marriage Drift book, a signed Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, and two free courses

[6:31] Jake and Larry talk about The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood and the brand new audiobook Larry narrated himself

[8:32] Jake on the chapter two Christmas Eve story and how hard it hit him as a father

[12:45] Why only 12% of married couples can say their relationship is working

[14:27] The night Larry lost his temper with his four year old and started the Good Dad Project

[18:24] Why fatherhood and marriage are skills, with an instructor, a curriculum, and a community

[23:26] It's Not About the Nail and why men rush to fix instead of listen

[24:23] Empathy versus sympathy, and why one connects and the other disconnects

[29:02] Validate with one word emotions so she feels seen, heard, and safe

[30:34] The question to ask your wife: do you want me to listen or collaborate on solutions

[33:42] Replace "why" with "tell me more" so your wife feels invited instead of interrogated

[38:53] Psychological safety at home: shine the light on the situation, not the person

[47:21] The lifeguard picture: stay on the side of the pool instead of jumping into someone else's emotions

[52:49] Twelve days alone after a ruptured patella tendon and the choice to face every emotion

[58:03] Where to find Larry, the audiobook, and the Marriage Drift promo

[59:52] Larry's closing note on honesty and how to join the Dad Edge Alliance

Key Takeaways

1. Husbandhood and fatherhood are skills you can learn, so stop treating them like something you should already know.
2. When your wife is upset, she is usually after connection, not a solution, so listen first and ask whether she wants you to listen or collaborate.
3. Name the feeling in one word, like frustrated or overwhelmed, and say it about the situation instead of about her.
4. Replace "why" with "tell me more," because it opens the door instead of pointing a finger.
5. Stay steady like the lifeguard on the side of the pool, and don't try to fix someone's emotions just because they make you uncomfortable.

Links & Resources

• No More Desire (Jake Kastleman): https://www.nomoredesire.com
• Dad Edge Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/join
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1565

Closing

The part of this conversation that stays with me is the lifeguard picture: you don't have to jump into someone else's emotional pool, you just stay steady and let them feel what they feel. I also think about those 12 days alone, when I chose to face everything that came up instead of numbing it, and how much shorter the road gets when you walk straight through it. Pick one thing from today, maybe asking your wife whether she wants you to listen or collaborate the next time she's frustrated. Go out and live legendary.

This week I sat down with Dr. Bradley Nelson, a holistic physician, USA Today bestselling author, and founder and CEO of Discover Healing, the creator of the Emotion Code, the Body Code, and the Belief Code. He's a father of eight, a grandfather of seven, and a great grandfather, and he opened with an incredible story about how his wife's first daughter, placed for adoption before they met, found them and was officially adopted into the family at 47.

We got into his newest book, The Heart Code, which he wrote with his wife Jean, and the idea of a heart wall that many of us build after painful experiences. Dr. Nelson shares his view on trapped emotions and the body, stories from his practice, and how emotional patterns can pass from one generation to the next. I also respectfully pushed back with my own 20 years in the operating room, and near the end I opened up about what I've been feeling as my 18 year old leaves for college. If you grew up in an unpredictable home and want to break the cycle for your kids, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction and the October Dad Edge Alliance promo: a signed book, two free courses, and an advance copy of The Marriage Drift

[3:05] Dr. Nelson on his family of eight kids, seven grandkids, and one great grandchild

[4:00] His wife's first daughter, placed for adoption before they met, finds them 18 years ago

[7:36] A faded whiteout on a birth certificate and a call to BYU help put the pieces together

[12:40] Dr. Nelson's background and his three systems: the Emotion Code, the Body Code, and the Belief Code

[16:59] Why Dr. Nelson sees symptoms as the check engine light, not the real problem

[18:17] Muscle testing as a way to communicate with the subconscious mind

[22:18] A waking vision in 1998 that led to the discovery of the heart wall

[28:01] A patient with severe low back pain and a trapped emotion of anger from 20 years earlier

[34:47] A nurse who swore off dating for eight years, and what happened after her heart wall was cleared

[38:29] Larry respectfully pushes back with his 20 years in the OR and thousands of spine surgeries

[50:16] Why emotional patterns repeat even when a dad promises himself he won't become his own father

[55:00] Unconditional love, and Dr. Nelson's own struggle with conditional love as a father

[57:18] Dr. Nelson's closing message to dads: slow down, because childhood goes by so fast

[1:00:11] Larry shares what he's feeling as his 18 year old leaves for college and what his therapist helped him see

[1:05:57] Where to find Dr. Nelson and the free video that walks you through releasing a trapped emotion

Key Takeaways

1. Dr. Nelson teaches that unresolved emotions can get trapped in the body, and that symptoms like pain can be messages pointing to something deeper.
2. The heart wall is Dr. Nelson's term for the protective wall many of us build after a painful experience, and he says it can make it harder to connect with your wife and kids.
3. If you ever hear your father's words come out of your own mouth after promising you never would, take it as a sign there may be old baggage you haven't dealt with yet.
4. Dr. Nelson shares that he loved his kids conditionally for a time, giving or withholding love to shape their behavior, and that unconditional love is what he now works toward.
5. Slow down and tell your wife and kids what they mean to you now, because time goes faster than you think and being willing to hear criticism and change is part of being a man.

Links & Resources

• Dr. Bradley Nelson and Discover Healing: https://discoverhealing.com
• The Heart Code: https://discoverhealing.com/the-heart-code-book/
• Dad Edge Alliance (October Bonuses): https://thedadedge.com/join
• Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1538

Closing

What stayed with me most was the moment at the end when I shared, for the first time on this show, how hard it has been watching my 18 year old leave for college, and how my therapist helped me see that it touches the old wound of the men who left me as a kid. Dr. Nelson's story about his own conditional love as a father reminded me that none of us does this perfectly, and that being willing to look at it honestly is what changes the next generation. Take a few minutes this week to slow down, tell someone you love what they mean to you, and ask yourself what you might be carrying that you haven't named yet. Go out and live legendary.

This week I sat down with Nick Friedman, the original college hunk behind College Hunks Hauling Junk and Moving, a company that started with a beat up cargo van the summer before his senior year of college and has grown to more than 200 franchises and over $300 million a year in sales. Nick has been on Shark Tank and Undercover Boss, is a two time Emmy Award winning producer, and is a dad of four who has been married since 2013.

We got into the culture he built at work and the one he tries to build at home, including the four L's his family lives by and what it means to be a chief repetition officer. Nick shared the story of his son swallowing a glass bead, how a false viral accusation tested his patience, why he tells entrepreneurs to have urgency of effort and patience for the results, and the honest way he and his wife handle resentment in their marriage. If you're a dad chasing something big while trying to keep your marriage and kids first, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction and the October Dad Edge Alliance promo: a signed book, two free courses, and an advance copy of The Marriage Drift

[3:11] How a best friend's mom, a beat up cargo van, and a joke turned Nick into the original college hunk

[6:42] Turning HUNKS into an acronym: honest, uniformed, nice, knowledgeable service

[7:52] Why 80 to 90% of calls came from the female household decision maker

[13:39] Why a company without a culture is like a picture frame without a photo

[14:55] Chief repetition officer: reinforcing purpose and values every single day

[17:12] The family core values Nick lives by: listen, learn, laugh, and love

[23:07] Nick's son swallows a glass bead, and the framed lesson that now hangs in his room

[25:23] From Shark Tank to Undercover Boss: the two bookends of Nick's TV journey

[35:22] Staying steady when a viral false accusation hits social media

[39:58] Urgency of effort, patience for the results, in business and in parenting

[41:48] The critter state: why kids and adults need to cool off before logic can land

[48:02] Raising the floor: your character as a leader, a father, and a human

[50:27] Nick's honest take on his marriage and why being intentional matters

[52:49] The no resentment longer than 24 hours rule

[55:09] Larry shares why only 12% of married couples call their marriage fulfilling

Key Takeaways

1. Purpose and values shape behavior, behavior shapes culture, and culture shapes results, so be the chief repetition officer and reinforce them every single day.
2. Teach your kids your values with stories they can remember, like the framed glass bead on your son's wall, because stories stick in a way rules never do.
3. Have urgency of effort and patience for the results, and give your kids and yourself grace along the way.
4. When emotions run high, let the critter state settle before you reach for logic, whether you're talking with your wife or your kids.
5. Don't let your marriage run like a family LLC, be intentional with date nights and honest conversations, and don't let resentment last longer than 24 hours.

Links & Resources

• Nick Friedman: https://nickfriedman.com
• College Hunks Hauling Junk and Moving: https://www.collegehunkshaulingjunk.com
• Dad Edge Alliance (October Bonuses): https://thedadedge.com/join
• Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1551

Closing

Nick's story about his son swallowing that glass bead, and now having it framed on his wall, stuck with me because it shows how one story can teach what a lecture never will. His answer about his marriage, that he wouldn't give himself an A+ and knows he can do better, is the kind of honesty that keeps us from drifting. Pick one thing from this conversation this week, maybe a no resentment longer than 24 hours rule with your wife or a story that teaches your kids a value. Go out and live legendary.

This week I sat down with Steven Wolt, the founder of Valor Recovery, a virtual coaching program that helps men overcome pornography abuse and compulsive sexual behavior. Steven is a husband, father, and entrepreneur who spent decades fighting a private war with sexual addiction while looking successful on the outside. After hitting rock bottom in 2008, he rebuilt his life and now uses that story to help other men get free.

We went underneath the shame, the secrecy, and the promises of I'm done. Steven explained why willpower alone fails, why porn abuse is really an intimacy disorder, how a phone became his main tool for regulating emotions, and what recovery looks like through emotional regulation, community, and vulnerability. If you're a dad who has struggled in silence, or you want to break the cycle so your sons do not inherit it, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[1:02] Larry welcomes Steven Wolt and explains why porn recovery episodes get big downloads but few comments

[2:25] Larry shares his own origin story with pornography, starting at age nine

[4:09] Larry introduces Steven, the founder of Valor Recovery, and what dads will learn

[7:33] Steven's start in 1990s New York City, using porn to numb depression and loneliness

[9:07] How his use escalated, and the shame that came with a progression no one explained to him

[12:18] Hitting rock bottom in 2008 after losing his career and cycling through treatment centers

[19:40] Why porn abuse is an intimacy disorder and why the opposite of addiction is connection

[23:18] How shame feeds the belief "I am flawed" and keeps your life small

[26:59] The difference between porn use and porn abuse, and using it to regulate emotions

[28:21] Why it's not about willpower: the phone as a primary regulation tool and retraining the nervous system

[30:30] Three things a man must address: regulating emotions, finding root causes, and tolerating boredom

[36:16] How exercise and caring for yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually replace the need to escape

[44:59] A walk with the baby, with and without a phone, and why men need time away from screens

[50:24] Larry sits with his sadness over his first son leaving, and why emotions are neither good nor bad

[56:49] How men find the courage to go first with vulnerability, and why it creates a domino effect

[1:00:12] How Valor Recovery works as a 90 day coaching program led by men in long term recovery

Five Key Takeaways

1. Willpower alone doesn't fix porn abuse because it is a learned way to regulate emotions, so recovery means retraining your nervous system to handle urges, discomfort, and cravings.
2. Porn abuse is often an intimacy disorder, which means the opposite of addiction is connection, and very few men overcome it by white knuckling it alone.
3. Guilt says I did something wrong while shame says I am wrong, and moving past shame is what stops it from keeping your life small.
4. Learning to sit with boredom and uncomfortable emotions like sadness and loneliness, without reaching for your phone, is a key part of lasting recovery.
5. Caring for yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and being brave enough to be vulnerable with other men, builds a life you don't need to escape from.

Links & Resources

• Valor Recovery social media: https://www.facebook.com/ValorRecovery/, https://www.instagram.com/valorrecovery1/, https://www.linkedin.com/company/valor-recovery
• Valor Recovery: https://findyourvalor.com
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1545

Closing

Steven said the opposite of addiction is not recovery, it's connection, and I felt that when I admitted I'd been distracting myself with busyness instead of sitting with my sadness over my first son leaving for college. If you're struggling with this, you're in good company, and it's a battle none of us should fight in isolation. Reach out to a brother or to Valor this week, put your phone in another room, and let yourself be bored for a few minutes. Go out and live legendary.

This week I sat down with Dr. Diane Mueller, a board certified sexologist with doctorates in natural medicine and acupuncture and oriental medicine. She is the host of the Libido Lounge and a best selling author and international speaker who helps committed couples who went from passionate lovers to feeling like roommates. She looks at the whole picture, including hormones, stress, kids, menopause, communication, and life transitions.

We got honest about how easily intimacy slips off track, including my own sadness since our first son left the nest and the drinking habit I traced back to it. Dr. Mueller explained why new relationship energy fades after 6 to 18 months, the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, how novelty brings the spark back, and why talking about sex feels like such a threat. If you're a husband or dad who wants to stop settling for roommate status in your marriage and rebuild desire and connection, this one is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction and the October Dad Edge Alliance promo

[3:01] Larry welcomes Dr. Diane Mueller of the Libido Lounge and asks how she got into this work

[4:24] Her story of how life gets couples off their intimate track and turns them into roommates

[8:42] What somatic experience means and why we escape uncomfortable feelings in the body

[11:32] Larry shares how sadness over his son leaving led him to drink more, and why he gave it up

[12:47] Breaking habits by asking "why am I doing this" and letting the ego take a back seat

[15:15] Larry introduces Dr. Mueller and the questions on roommate syndrome, desire, and kids

[17:04] Why new relationship energy lasts 6 to 18 months and how dopamine and novelty drive desire

[19:49] Why couples plan intimacy before moving in together, then expect it to happen on its own

[24:16] Spontaneous desire versus responsive desire and why the difference matters in marriage

[25:30] Why a partner with responsive desire needs 15 minutes to an hour of warm up

[27:32] Bringing novelty back with a yes, no, maybe checklist and a date night conversation

[30:14] How to set your partner up to respond well when you share something vulnerable

[33:01] Why talking about sex feels like a bigger threat than other conflicts

[35:07] Start by talking only about what's going right to help the nervous system feel safe

[40:30] The right next step for dads: start the conversation and don't put intimacy on autopilot

[43:17] Where to find Dr. Mueller's books, free resources, and social channels

Five Key Takeaways

1. The rush of new relationship energy lasts about 6 to 18 months, so when it fades it doesn't mean something is wrong with your marriage.
2. Spontaneous desire and responsive desire are different, and a partner with responsive desire often needs 15 minutes to an hour of warm up before the desire shows up.
3. Bring novelty back by going through a yes, no, maybe checklist on a date night, and tell your partner ahead of time how you want them to respond to what you share.
4. Conversations about sex feel like a bigger threat than other conflicts, so start by only talking about what's going right until both of you feel safe.
5. Intimacy can't run on autopilot any more than your health can, so ask what you're avoiding and take one small step toward talking about it.

Links & Resources

• Dr. Diane Mueller (My Libido Doc): https://mylibidodoc.com
• Want to Want It by Dr. Diane Mueller: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=want+to+want+it+diane+mueller
• Dad Edge Alliance (October Bonuses): https://thedadedge.com/join
• Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1547

Closing

Dr. Mueller reminded me that the body doesn't lie, and when I admitted I'd been drinking more because I was sad about our son leaving, I saw how easily we avoid the feelings we don't want to face. Her challenge is simple: tell your wife what she does well, make it safe to talk, and don't let your marriage run on autopilot. Pick one thing you love about the way she connects with you and tell her this week. Go out and live legendary.