This week's Alliance Q&A is one I think a lot of you will relate to, even if you've never said it out loud. A member named Eric brought a question on behalf of a close friend who's in a genuinely rough season with his marriage, arguments about a job, about help around the house, about who's doing enough for the kids. Rather than treat it as a surface-level scheduling problem, we spent this entire episode digging into what's actually happening underneath, because I've coached enough men to know the surface complaint is almost never the real issue.

We get into the real needs driving most marital conflict, why a woman needs to feel seen, heard, and safe, and why a man needs respect, appreciation, and physical affection, and what happens when both partners stop meeting those needs and start reacting to each other instead. I introduce the concept of the emotional bank account, a term I credit to researcher John Gottman, and share a personal example of learning the hard way that not all acts of service are created equal. We also talk through "nice guy syndrome" and its unattractive cousin, people-pleasing, and I introduce a book that's helped me completely reframe how I show up for Jessica: G.S. Youngblood's three-part framework of responding instead of reacting, leading with structure, and always providing safety.

Timeline Summary

[1:02] Introducing today's Alliance Q&A and the friend's marriage situation Eric is bringing forward

[2:24] The staggering statistic: only about 12% of married couples have a genuinely thriving marriage

[3:16] Eric lays out the surface-level arguments: the job, help around the house, time with the kids

[6:19] Establishing the marriage timeline and when things started to unravel

[8:16] Asking whether the job is really the issue, or just where the resentment gets pointed

[8:38] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th

[10:40] The real needs at play: seen, heard, and safe for her; respected, appreciated, and affection for him

[12:14] Whether he's actually meeting those needs, and the common trap of guessing instead of asking

[13:58] The reactive cycle: unmet needs on one side triggering unattractive behavior on the other

[15:09] Introducing the five love languages and why they aren't one-size-fits-all

[15:51] Introducing the emotional bank account and why not all acts of service move the needle

[16:09] Larry's own car wash story, and the moment he learned what actually mattered to his wife

[18:49] The question worth asking your spouse: what exactly is happening when you feel most loved

[21:41] Naming "nice guy syndrome" and the pattern of doing things with a hidden expectation attached

[23:22] Confirming he's a people pleaser, and why that trait is deeply unattractive to a woman

[23:48] Introducing G.S. Youngblood's book and its three-part framework for masculine leadership

[24:07] The first principle: respond, don't react

[24:26] The second principle: lead with structure instead of asking open-ended questions

[25:54] The third principle: always provide safety through calm, grounded tonality

[26:20] Wrapping up and reflecting on how these ideas apply directly to Eric's friend

[27:33] Reminders: Roommates to Soulmates starting September 16th, and the Business Boardroom Brotherhood preview

Five Key Takeaways

1. Surface-level arguments, about a job, about chores, are rarely the real issue. Almost always, there's an unmet need underneath that both partners are struggling to name directly.
2. A woman's core needs tend to center on feeling seen, heard, and safe. A man's core needs tend to center on respect, appreciation, and physical affection. When either side stops meeting those needs, both partners start reacting instead of connecting.
3. Not all acts of service are created equal. The emotional bank account concept means some gestures barely register while others, often smaller and more specific, become huge needle-movers. Ask your spouse directly what actually makes them feel loved.
4. "Nice guy syndrome" and people-pleasing are deeply unattractive traits, not because kindness is bad, but because doing things with a hidden expectation attached (do this, then maybe she'll be nice to me) isn't genuine generosity.
5. A grounded, masculine approach to leadership in a relationship comes down to three things: responding instead of reacting, leading with structure instead of vague open-ended questions, and consistently providing emotional safety through your tone and presence.

Links & Resources

• The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring the Trust, Lust, and Devotion of a Strong Woman by G.S. Youngblood: https://www.amazon.com/Masculine-Relationship-Inspiring-Devotion-Woman/dp/1699443386
• The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1528
• The Dad Edge Boardroom Mastermind: https://thedadedge.com/guest

Closing

If you take one thing from this episode, let it be this: stop guessing at what your spouse needs and just ask. Eric's friend, like so many of us at some point, has been doing things with the hope that they'll move the needle, without ever finding out what actually would. Go ask your wife directly what she was doing, and what you were doing, the last time she felt most loved and connected to you, and then go do more of that. Go out and live legendary.

Baruch HaLevi opens this conversation with a statistic most listeners have never heard: every 13 minutes in America, a man dies by suicide, and men account for roughly 80% of all suicide deaths. For Baruch, this isn't abstract. He's lost family members to suicide across multiple generations, and he candidly shares that he himself came close to the same fate about a decade ago, during a period of profound identity loss after stepping away from 20 years as a rabbi.

Grounded in the work of Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, Baruch and Larry talk through what actually helps a man in genuine despair: finding a "why not," the specific reason to keep going, learning to sit with guilt without letting it curdle into shame, and the necessity of real, honest community instead of empty check-ins. Both men share their own history with suicidal crisis directly. If you or someone you love has ever been in a season that felt unbearable, this conversation offers a clear, compassionate way through it, but given the depth of what's discussed, please take care with how and when you engage with it.

Timeline Summary

[1:24] Introducing the statistic behind Baruch's mission: a man dies by suicide every 13 minutes in America

[2:41] Baruch shares that his father and grandmother both died by suicide, and that it's deeply personal to his work

[4:50] Larry and Baruch each share their own history of suicidal crisis

[7:07] Discovering Viktor Frankl's work as a turning point during his own darkest season

[11:11] Rebuilding identity from the ground up after stepping away from a lifelong profession

[12:22] A full introduction to Baruch: logotherapist, rabbi, author of "The Guy in the Glass"

[13:40] The origin of the book's title, tied to a poem given to Baruch by his grandfather

[16:21] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th

[18:24] Baruch reflects on why his father reached the point he did

[27:46] Introducing the concept of a "why not" as a foundation to keep living

[29:49] Discussing how the idea of "finding your why" has become diluted in modern culture

[31:19] Viktor Frankl's concept of self-transcendence: living for something beyond yourself

[36:50] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood

[38:00] How genuine community changes the experience of shame and crisis

[41:11] Why hiding in isolation during a hard season is actually a disservice to others

[45:37] The loss of Baruch's closest friend, and the concept of "bearing witness" to another man's life

[47:45] Unpacking the phrase "shame dies in safe conversations," and the difference between guilt and shame

[49:53] Details on Baruch's book, his mission, and where to find his work

[51:37] What Baruch would say directly to a man in a moment of crisis

[53:24] Larry shares an important reframe he once heard from his own therapist

Five Key Takeaways

1. Finding a concrete "why not," a specific reason not to give up, can be as important as finding a broader life purpose when someone is in genuine crisis.
2. Guilt and shame are not the same thing. Guilt corrects behavior and can be redemptive; shame attacks a person's fundamental worth and has no redemptive value. Healthy communities make room for guilt and accountability without slipping into shame.
3. Self-transcendence, living for something or someone beyond yourself, is described as the deepest source of meaning available to a person, more foundational than personal happiness or self-actualization alone.
4. Withdrawing into isolation during a hard season doesn't protect the people who care about you, it deprives them of the chance to show up for you, and it removes the example of bravery that could help someone else going through the same thing.
5. Genuine connection, being truly seen and known by another person, is one of the most protective forces against despair. Real community requires honesty, not surface-level check-ins that accept "I'm fine" as a real answer.

Links & Resources

• Baruch HaLevi: https://bhalevi.com
• The Guy in the Glass by Baruch HaLevi: https://bhalevi.com
• The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• The Dad Edge Boardroom Mastermind: https://thedadedge.com/guest
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1530

Closing

If you are having thoughts of suicide, or you're worried about someone who might be, please don't wait. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, every day. You are not a burden, and the people who love you would rather have you, in any season, than lose you. If you're not in crisis yourself but this episode brought something up for you, please talk to someone you trust, or a licensed therapist, today rather than carrying it alone.

John Sapiente never planned to become a charitable force in the veteran community, he just wanted to play golf with a celebrity at a charity gala. That single decision in 2013 led him to a life-changing weekend with military families, a friendship with Folds of Honor founder Lt. Col. Dan Rooney, and eventually the creation of Volition America, a lifestyle apparel brand that has raised over $2 million for veteran and first responder families by donating 13% of profits, a number tied to the 13 folds of the American flag.

In this conversation with Larry, John shares the origin story behind brand partnerships with Puma, Cobra Golf, and Luminox, the moment he surprised a wounded Navy SEAL with a custom Jeep on July 4th, and his approach to raising four kids while running two manufacturing companies and a nonprofit-adjacent brand. He's candid about the tradeoffs of building a business empire, protecting Mother's Day as sacred family time, and 30 years of weekly date nights with his wife. If you've ever wondered what it looks like to turn a single meaningful moment into a lasting mission, this episode is a direct look at how that actually happens.

Timeline Summary

[1:02] The 2013 charity golf event that sparked John's "patriotic awakening"

[4:58] Meeting wounded veterans and hearing taps played during a tournament, and the impact it had

[9:22] Becoming friends with Lt. Col. Dan Rooney, founder of Folds of Honor

[10:07] The origin of "volition" as a word and a brand philosophy: the power of choice

[12:31] A full introduction to John: founder of Volition America, raising over $2 million for veterans

[14:32] Raising a confident, self-sufficient daughter, and the values he prioritized as a father

[21:56] The family rule that sports never come before Mother's Day

[25:43] Referencing Dr. John Delony's take on travel sports ruining the family dinner table

[26:46] The mandatory Sunday family dinner tradition that started when the kids were young

[28:34] The family rule that every kid needs "a battle," something they're passionate about, one at a time

[29:19] A son's question about whether John was disappointed he chose band over sports

[31:10] Supporting a daughter who hated soccer but lit up when she found dance

[32:13] The father-son talent show plan built around a shared love of Michael Jackson

[34:01] Thirty years of marriage and the weekly date nights that started when their kids were young

[36:15] Why "if you have to think about your last date night, it's been too long"

[43:40] Introducing Volition America and the $2 million raised for Folds of Honor

[47:20] The story of surprising Navy SEAL Jeff Samuels with a custom Jeep on July 4th

[50:25] How brand partnerships with Puma, Cobra Golf, and Luminox actually came together

[53:21] Upcoming brand extensions: a cigar line with Gurkha and a new wine label

[55:55] Where to find Volition America and support the mission

Five Key Takeaways

1. A single moment of unexpected exposure, in John's case a charity golf outing, can become a life's mission if you stay open to what it reveals. He wasn't looking for a cause; the cause found him.
2. Kids need something they're passionate about, one thing at a time, not necessarily a sport. Supporting a child's actual interest, whether it's marching band or dance, builds more confidence than pushing them toward what you expected.
3. Protecting non-negotiable family time, like Mother's Day or a weekly date night, requires real boundaries. John's family skipped championship games that landed on Mother's Day because some things matter more than convenience.
4. You cannot build a major business while being a 50/50 present parent every single day. Real tradeoffs exist, and the goal is being genuinely present in the time you do have rather than pretending you can do everything equally.
5. Purpose-driven business partnerships can create value for everyone involved. Brand collaborations built around a genuine mission bring new audiences to both the cause and the partner brand, not just a marketing gimmick.

Links & Resources

• Volition America: https://volitionamerica.com
• Folds of Honor: https://foldsofhonor.org
• The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1529
• Roommates to Soulmates: http://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• The Board Room Mastermind: Guest Session: http://thedadedge.com/guest

Closing

What stays with me from this conversation is how one afternoon of golf, entered into for the wrong reasons, turned into a mission that's raised over $2 million for the families of fallen and disabled service members. John didn't set out to build a movement, he just stayed open to what that weekend showed him. Whether it's a cause, a kid's unexpected passion, or a weekly date night you've let slide, the same principle applies: show up for the thing in front of you, and let it become what it's going to become. Go out and live legendary.

For the second time, Marc Hildebrand flips the format and puts Larry in the interview seat, this time to unpack the five things men consistently say changed everything after joining the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood: clarity, challenge, strategy, accountability, and brotherhood. Using real, anonymized member stories, Larry walks through how the group helps a business owner named Taylor rebuild connection with his wife using the four pillars of marriage and three levels of listening, why "rusty relationships" built on enabling friends keep 78% of men stuck, and why vague goals like "more communication" aren't actually strategies.

Larry also shares the origin story of the group's gamified accountability system, born on a cruise ship when he realized he hated holding people accountable the traditional way, and closes with a blunt challenge: most men wait for a crisis before they get help, and by then it's often too late. If you're a business owner who feels like your family gets the leftovers of your time and energy, this conversation is a direct look at what actually changes that.

Timeline Summary

[1:02] Larry opens on the tension every entrepreneur feels: building an empire without sacrificing family

[4:21] Introducing Marc Hildebrand as this week's interviewer, flipping the usual format

[6:42] The first pillar: clarity, and the story of onboarding a new member named Taylor

[7:45] Introducing the Brave Man system: bond, raise, amplify, vitality, enjoy, movement, action, network

[9:47] The comparison trap and the real divorce and disconnection statistics behind most marriages

[10:28] The four pillars of an extraordinary marriage: individual, partnership, friendship, and lovers

[13:20] Giving Taylor the 50 Intimate Conversation Starters and a simple daily walk-and-talk challenge

[15:13] The three levels of listening: to respond, to understand, and to hear the emotion underneath

[20:43] Larry announces a rare open preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood

[22:29] Why the same relational skills that fix a marriage also apply to clients and employees

[26:35] The second pillar: challenge, and the difference between friends and objective advisors

[27:22] Introducing "rusty relationships" and the 78% statistic from Mansfield's Book of Manly Men

[30:08] The story of a member named Tim who left his gym to stop being the smartest guy in the room

[33:38] The third pillar: strategy, and why "more" or "better" communication isn't actually a strategy

[35:25] The Casey 1.0 and 2.0 example: moving from scarcity and fear to strategic thinking

[38:20] The story of a member named Blake, whose time management problem was really about protecting family time

[40:03] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th

[42:49] The fourth pillar: accountability, and the cruise ship story behind gamifying it

[45:29] Introducing "the tent," the virtual system where members plan and track weekly missions

[47:20] The story of a member named Jayden whose recurring unfinished mission revealed a deeper marriage issue

[48:51] The fifth pillar: brotherhood, and why shame dies in safe conversations

[54:30] Larry's closing challenge: most men wait for a crisis, and by then it's often too late

Five Key Takeaways

1. Real clarity often comes from realizing your problem isn't what you think it is. A man convinced his issue is "not enough communication" usually discovers, through the right questions, that the real issue is which questions he's asking and how he's listening.

2. The four pillars of an extraordinary marriage, individual, partnership, friendship, and lovers, break down when couples get stuck managing logistics (partnership) and skip friendship entirely, which makes physical connection feel confusing or absent.

3. A friend who only agrees with your complaints isn't helping you, he's enabling you. An objective advisor without emotional stake in your friendship will challenge you in ways a lifelong buddy often won't.

4. Vague goals like "more communication" or "better connection" aren't strategies, they're wishes. Real change comes from identifying specific, concrete actions, the same way a health goal requires a specific plan, not just an instruction to "get healthier."

5. Accountability works best when it's gamified rather than shame-based. Publicly tracked weekly goals, done with humor and healthy competition, produce more consistent follow-through than accountability rooted in guilt.

Links & Resources

• The Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood Preview: https://thedadedge.com/guest
• Roommates to Soulmates: http://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood by Larry Hagner: https://thedadedge.com
• The Dad Edge Podcast: http://thedadedge.com/1531
• Mansfield's Book of Manly Men by Stephen Mansfield
• The Miracle Morning for Couples by Hal Elrod, Lance Salazar, and Brandy Salazar

Closing

If there's one thing Larry wants every business owner dad to hear from this episode, it's this: don't wait for a crisis. He read an email that same day from a man who waited seven years to address a marriage on the brink of collapse, and now he's scrambling. Clarity, challenge, strategy, accountability, and brotherhood aren't things you need once things fall apart, they're things you build before they do. Go out and live legendary.

Abbey Sharp has built an audience of over 2.5 million people calling out nutrition misinformation as a registered dietitian, and in this conversation she and Larry cut through some of the biggest confusion facing dads right now: the seed oil panic, the rise of "looks maxing" and muscularity-focused disordered eating in men, and how to feed a house full of picky kids without turning dinner into a nightly battle. Larry gets unusually candid about his own relationship with fitness and body image, and Abbey offers a grounded, non-restrictive framework for approaching food that she built out of her own recovery from an eating disorder.

The conversation also covers modeling healthy body image for kids, a practical division-of-responsibility approach to family meals, and Abbey's honest take on GLP-1 medications. If you've ever felt confused by conflicting nutrition advice online, or wondered whether your own relationship with fitness has quietly become more about fear than health, this episode offers real, evidence-based clarity.

Timeline Summary

[1:02] The seed oil debate: what the actual research says versus the online panic

[6:15] Ranking cooking oils by nutrient profile, and why canola oil gets undeserved hate

[16:09] Introducing Abbey Sharp: registered dietitian, author, and "the internet's no BS dietitian"

[17:45] Diet culture's impact on men, reframed as "optimization" and "looks maxing"

[19:02] How male-focused disordered eating often centers on muscularity rather than thinness

[21:42] Explaining "looks maxing" and its darker corners online

[23:23] Larry shares his own history: childhood bullying, a significant weight loss at 17, and fear of regaining it

[27:23] Finding balance: caring for your body without making it a referendum on your worth

[29:31] Why kids absorb body image messaging from watching their parents, long before anyone tells them directly

[34:00] Abbey shares her own teenage experience with orthorexia and how it shaped her career

[36:07] Introducing the Hunger Crushing Combo: protein, fiber, and healthy fats instead of restriction

[42:44] Abbey's take on GLP-1 medications: real benefits, real risks, and real social side effects

[47:07] Building a high protein, high fiber breakfast for kids without restricting carbs

[53:32] The Division of Responsibility approach to feeding picky kids without nightly battles

[58:24] Larry shares a childhood memory of being forced to eat spinach, and why pressure backfires

[59:40] Where to find Abbey: her podcast, YouTube channel, and family nutrition webinar

Five Key Takeaways

1. Not all cooking oils are created equal, and the sweeping "seed oils are toxic" narrative doesn't hold up under real research. The bigger issue is the ultra-processed foods most seed oils show up in, not the oil itself.

2. Disordered eating in men is often disguised as discipline. Framed as "optimization" or "looks maxing," compulsive protein tracking, fear of fat, and obsessive exercise get praised rather than questioned, which makes it harder to recognize as a real problem.

3. A helpful litmus test for a healthy relationship with fitness is whether it still lets you live your life: can you skip a workout, eat at a birthday party, or go out with friends without guilt? If self-care starts shrinking your life instead of adding to it, that's worth examining.

4. Kids absorb body image messaging by watching their parents, not just from what's said directly to them. Comments about needing to "earn" food through exercise or fearing weight gain teach kids that their body is a project long before anyone tells them so outright.

5. The Division of Responsibility approach to feeding kids means parents decide what, when, and where meals happen, while kids decide how much they eat. Keeping one safe, familiar food on the table for picky eaters reduces mealtime battles far more effectively than pressure or bribery.

Links & Resources

• Bite Back with Abbey Sharp: https://www.abbeyskitchen.com
• The Hunger Crushing Combo Method by Abbey Sharp, RD: https://www.abbeyskitchen.com/hunger-crushing-combo
• The Board Room Mastermind: Guest Session: http://thedadedge.com/guest
• Roommates to Soulmates: http://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• Episode shownotes: http://thedadedge.com/1527

Closing

If any part of this conversation, especially the parts about food noise, fear of weight gain, or the pressure to always be optimizing, hit closer to home than you expected, you're not alone, and it's worth talking to someone. If you or someone you know is struggling with disordered eating, the National Alliance for Eating Disorders helpline is available for support and can help you find the right next step. Beyond that, the whole spirit of this conversation is permission: permission to eat the pizza, permission to miss a workout, permission to let your kids grow up without inheriting a fear of their own bodies. Go out and live legendary.

I've had a lot of impressive guests on this show, but Khalil Zahar's story genuinely stood out to me. He's the founder and CEO of FightCamp, a company he built from a simple idea, wanting to actually measure his own progress as a boxer, into one of the biggest names in connected fitness, with over $100 million raised and backing from legends like Mike Tyson, Floyd Mayweather, and Georges St-Pierre. He's also not married and doesn't have kids, but the lessons he's built his entire career around, discipline, discomfort, and identity, translate directly to fatherhood and marriage.

We started with the pivotal moment in his early 20s, a late night watching Sportscenter, that made him realize he didn't have unlimited time to become who he wanted to be. From there we got into his philosophy around seeking discomfort intentionally, why he believes identity has to come before outcome, and what it actually means to become the person who does the things you want to be known for, rather than chasing the result directly. He shared a personal story about training around a serious injury by controlling everything he could, his nutrition and mindset, when he couldn't control his body, and I shared a nearly identical story from my own torn patella tendon recovery.

We closed the conversation on what Khalil calls the mindset of a fighter, discipline, craftsmanship, accepting what you can't control, and learning to be genuinely thankful for your losses instead of resentful of them. If you've ever felt too comfortable, stuck in a rut, or unsure how to push yourself toward the version of you that you know is possible, this conversation gives you a real, practical way to start.

Timeline Summary

[1:04] Khalil's early 20s awakening: a late night realization that time wasn't unlimited

[3:36] His teenage dream of becoming a professional B-Boy and the intimidating scene around it

[7:00] The first concrete steps he took once he decided to stop just "trying a little"

[9:25] How Khalil's relationship with failure changed once he actually started taking risks

[12:20] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood

[12:37] Why embracing failure sooner would have changed everything, and Thomas Edison's light bulb story

[14:31] Taking the first, smallest possible step instead of trying to see ten miles ahead

[16:34] A full introduction to Khalil: FightCamp's founder, backed by Tyson, Mayweather, and Saint-Pierre

[18:11] Khalil's controversial philosophy: why seeking discomfort matters more than self-acceptance alone

[21:39] Practical advice for a man who feels too comfortable and stuck in a "dad bod" mindset

[22:01] The core idea: identity comes first, and outcomes follow from who you decide to become

[25:21] Larry announces Roommates to Soulmates cohort three, starting September 16th

[27:16] Diving deeper into identity versus tactics, using Khalil's 13 bodybuilding competitions as an example

[32:18] Why seeking discomfort is fundamentally about removing fear, not chasing a specific outcome

[35:51] Confidence built through keeping your word to yourself, even when you don't feel like it

[36:43] What the mindset of a fighter actually looks like, broken into four core principles

[38:18] The first principle: discipline as doing what you don't want to do

[39:48] The second principle: craftsmanship, applying full care and attention to everything you touch

[40:31] The third principle: you can't control your opponent, only how you prepare and react

[42:17] The fourth principle: losses and failure are praised in martial arts, not resented

[44:10] Larry's own story of controlling what he could control during a torn patella tendon recovery

[45:32] Khalil shares a strikingly similar story recovering from a severe hand injury

[49:17] Where to find Khalil and FightCamp

Five Key Takeaways

1. Time is not unlimited, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you stop just "trying a little" and start actually pursuing the version of yourself you want to become.

2. Identity comes before outcome. Instead of fixating on the result you want, define who that person would be and start living like them today, and the outcome tends to follow naturally.

3. Confidence isn't built by achieving a goal once, it's built by consistently keeping your word to yourself, especially in the small moments when you don't feel like following through.

4. You cannot control your circumstances, your opponent, or the environment around you. The only thing you control is how you prepare for and respond to what happens, and real peace comes from focusing there instead.

5. Losses and failure should be treated as lessons to be thankful for, not outcomes to resent. A fighter's mindset toward getting knocked down and getting back up applies directly to marriage, parenting, and business.

Links & Resources

• FightCamp (Khalil's at-home connected boxing and kickboxing fitness platform) — https://joinfightcamp.com
• FightCamp on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok — @fightcamp
• Khalil Zahar on Instagram — @khalilzahar
• Shownotes for this episode: http://thedadedge.com/1526
• Roommates to Soulmates (Larry's 8-week marriage coaching cohort; next cohort starts September 16th, with free preview calls): http://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• Join the boardroom: http://thedadedge.com/guest

Closing

What's staying with me from this conversation is Khalil's point that losses are meant to be praised, not resented, because that's exactly the mindset a marriage and a family need too. You're not going to get every season right, and neither is your wife or your kids, but treating a setback as a lesson instead of a verdict on who you are changes everything about how you recover from it. Whatever discomfort you've been avoiding lately, in your body, your business, or your relationships, let this be the nudge to take the smallest next step toward it.

This week's Wednesday Q&A is a little different, I'm running it solo since my usual co-host Joe couldn't make it, and honestly, it turned into one of the harder, more important conversations we've had. A man in our Alliance named Rich called in with a genuinely difficult situation: his 17-year-old stepdaughter recently went through a breakup, was hospitalized shortly after making statements about wanting to end her life, and Rich is trying to figure out how to support her while also being honest that he's not sure whether what he's seeing is a real crisis or a manipulation tactic she's learned to use.

I want to be upfront that I am not a licensed therapist, and neither is anyone else on this call. We have someone in our community who specializes in this exact area, and when a situation is acute, that's who we point men toward. What I can offer is real, lived experience, because one of my own boys went through a genuinely frightening season with depression and anxiety years ago, and I've been in the position of feeling completely out of my depth as a father.

If you're a father watching a child struggle right now and feeling like you have no idea what you're doing, or you're not even sure if what you're seeing is a real crisis, this conversation won't give you all the answers, because there often aren't easy ones. But it might help you feel less alone in it.

Timeline Summary

[1:02] Opening the Wednesday Q&A solo, and introducing today's difficult topic

[1:48] Introducing Rich, a leader in the Alliance's teen-parenting group, and his situation

[3:13] Rich shares that his 17-year-old bonus daughter has recently expressed suicidal thoughts

[4:33] Understanding the timeline: a difficult personal season followed by a breakup two weeks ago

[5:43] Larry announces Roommates to Soulmates cohort three, starting September 16th

[7:25] Larry's disclaimer: not a licensed therapist, and where the community sends acute cases

[8:37] Asking Rich what he'd want to see in his stepdaughter's life a few months from now

[9:49] The tension between wanting to support her and wanting to hold her accountable to her own goals

[10:47] Assessing her circle of friends and the instability there

[12:30] First piece of advice: don't go through this alone, and find a therapist she connects with

[13:20] The breakfast and games advice from a mentor, and why simple connection mattered more than conversation

[15:27] The medication journey: an initial diagnosis, a worsening condition, and a specialized brain scan clinic

[17:07] How a corrected diagnosis and a supplement-based approach turned things around over about a year

[17:32] Larry shares his own 2017 hospitalization following extreme physical training and severe insomnia

[19:29] Reiterating connection over correction as the throughline of the advice

[19:51] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood

[24:19] Closing advice: don't go through it alone, connect first, and remember that without connection there is no influence

Five Key Takeaways

1. You don't have to be a mental health expert to support a struggling child, but you do have to know when to bring in someone who is. Recognizing the limits of your own expertise and connecting your family with the right specialist is itself an act of good fathering.

2. Connection has to come before correction. A struggling teenager often needs low-pressure time with a parent, free of goal-setting or serious conversation, far more than another conversation about fixing the problem.

3. Finding the right therapist matters as much as finding a therapist at all. A mismatch in chemistry or approach can make a child more resistant to help they genuinely need.

4. A diagnosis can be wrong, and it's worth getting a second opinion when treatment isn't working. A corrected diagnosis and a different treatment approach turned around a genuinely difficult, months-long decline.

5. You are not required to be blood related to be the father figure a child needs most. Consistent presence during a hard season is what a child remembers and trusts long after the season ends.

Links & Resources

• Get the full show notes and every link from this episode: https://thedadedge.com/1525
• Ready to stop feeling like roommates and start leading your marriage? Join the next Roommates to Soulmates cohort: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• Know a dad with a story worth sharing, or want to be on the show yourself? Apply to be a guest: https://thedadedge.com/guest

Closing

If you're a father in the middle of a season like the one Rich is walking through right now, please hear this: you don't have to have it figured out, and you don't have to do it alone. Get connected with people who know more than you do, keep showing up for the small, ordinary moments of connection, and trust that the fruit of your presence will show up even if you can't see it yet. Without connection, we have no influence, so lead with connection first, every time. Go out and live legendary.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 by calling or texting 988.

Gentlemen, welcome to the fourth and final episode of this month's series with my wife Jessica, and I want to start by saying thank you for showing up for this one, since August actually had five Fridays this year, which means she recorded a full bonus episode she didn't have to do. Today we're tackling something that trips up more marriages than almost anything else: roles and expectations, and specifically, all the unspoken assumptions about who does what that quietly cause resentment when they're never actually talked about.

Jessica and I get into the finances first, how I took over bill paying for our first five years of marriage and, driven by my own anxiety around debt, paid things down so aggressively it actually put us in a bind more than once. We talk through why swapping our roles, me handling investing and her handling the day to day bills, ended up being the right fit for both of us, and why neither of us wants to trade back. From there we get into dinner, probably the single area that's caused us the most quiet frustration over the years, from Jessica's years of resentment doing all the cooking to the practical shift we finally made once we actually talked about it out loud instead of just enduring it.

We also open up about how we split the harder parenting conversations, why the sex talk with our boys has always fallen to me, and why Jessica has become the one I lean on for basically every other hard conversation in our house. I share what I've learned watching her approach conflict, calm, strategic, and incredibly well timed, compared to my own instinct to just react in the moment. We close out by talking through how we split up kids' sports and activities, and what boundaries actually held up over 22 years of marriage.

If your marriage has ever hit friction over who's supposed to be doing what, and you've never actually sat down and talked about it, this conversation is a real look at how two people figured that out over two decades together, including the parts that took way too long to fix.

Timeline Summary

[1:02] Introducing the fourth and final episode of the August series with Jessica

[12:56] Reflecting on last week's lower-energy episode and setting up today's topic: roles and expectations

[14:12] Larry announces Roommates to Soulmates cohort three, starting September 16th

[16:33] Why unspoken and unknown expectations are what actually trip couples up the most

[19:00] The early years of bill paying: Larry's aggressive debt payoff and the strain it caused

[21:52] Why paying bills stressed Larry out so deeply, no matter how much money was in the bank

[24:36] Checking in on whether Jessica still feels good about handling the bills 17 years later

[25:39] Introducing the second financial role: why Larry handles all the investing

[27:05] Larry's own journey from investing overwhelm to genuinely loving it today

[30:45] Confirming neither of them wants to trade financial roles, and why that alignment matters

[31:27] Introducing the dinner problem: why family meals can become a major source of strife

[32:52] The moment, about a year ago, Jessica finally said out loud that she hated cooking

[33:32] The fix: splitting cooking nights and having the non-cooking spouse handle cleanup

[37:55] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th

[42:22] Checking in on what Jessica would still change about how dinner works today

[43:24] Jessica's regret: never requiring the kids to eat what was served instead of making separate meals

[46:34] Why the sex talk role has always fallen to Larry, and how he approaches it with their boys

[52:36] Breaking down Jessica's calm, strategic approach to conflict versus Larry's reactive instinct

[57:14] A callback to an earlier, lighter moment in the series about Larry's past drinking

[1:00:49] How they split kids' sports and activities, and the assumptions each of them still carries

[1:03:22] What comes next: Jessica joining monthly, and how to submit topic ideas

[1:04:51] Introducing two free resources: 25 Intimate Conversation Starters and 21 Days to an Extraordinary Marriage

Five Key Takeaways

1. Roles that feel natural today were often built through real trial and error, not instinct. Larry and Jessica swapped financial responsibilities after outside mentors pointed out they'd assigned them backward, and it took years to get right.

2. Resentment builds fastest around unspoken expectations. Nearly every friction point in their marriage, from bills to dinner, traces back to one person assuming a role the other person quietly grew to dread.

3. Sometimes the fix is simple once you finally say the hard thing out loud. Jessica's years of resentment around cooking dissolved almost immediately once she told Larry directly that she hated it, leading to a workable rotation within one conversation.

4. Timing matters as much as the message when addressing conflict. Jessica's approach of waiting for a calm moment, rather than confronting an issue in the heat of frustration, consistently produces a better outcome than reacting immediately.

5. Roles don't have to be permanent or symmetrical to work. Twenty-two years in, the goal isn't a perfectly even split of every responsibility, it's each person operating in the role that actually fits them, while staying willing to revisit it when it's not working.

Links & Resources

• Shownotes for this episode: http://thedadedge.com/1524
• Roommates to Soulmates (Larry's 8-week marriage coaching cohort; next cohort starts September 16th, with free preview calls): http://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium (Arizona Cardinals vs. Los Angeles Rams, November 15): https://thedadedge.com/nfl

Closing

Wrapping up this series, what stands out most is that Jessica and I don't have this figured out because we never struggled, we have it figured out because we finally stopped avoiding the hard conversations about who does what and why. Every role we've settled into came from a real conversation, sometimes an overdue one, not from assuming the other person would just handle it or just deal with it forever. If something in your own marriage has quietly been building resentment because nobody's actually said it out loud, let this be the nudge to finally have that conversation. Go out and live legendary.

Don Ross is the founder of Manhood Tribes, a former pastor of 20 years who now works in digital marketing and has spent over two decades helping men cut through the noise around masculinity and build real brotherhood. Married 22 years with two boys, he's built his work around five marks of manhood and, more recently, helping men prepare for what he believes are the biblical end times.

This is a unique episode. Don walks Larry through the specific signs he sees converging right now, the nation of Israel and the temple, the move toward digital currency, and the gospel reaching every ethnic group, then pivots to what actually matters for the average man: building community, growing real-world skills, and developing a genuine relationship with Jesus rather than just checking religious boxes. If you've felt the anxiety of scrolling the news and wondered how to lead your family through uncertain times, this conversation offers a grounded, faith-centered answer.

Timeline Summary

[3:29] – How close are we to the end times, and what that phrase actually means

[5:28] – Why the anxiety men feel scrolling their phones connects to the bigger picture

[7:33] – The specific signs happening now that are unique in human history

[9:05] – Introducing Don Ross, Manhood Tribes, and the epidemic of male loneliness

[12:35] – The Euphrates River drying up as a minor sign

[13:29] – Israel reestablished as a nation in 1948 and the Ezekiel dry bones prophecy

[15:10] – The Temple Institute, the red heifer, and preparations for a third temple

[20:41] – Why the dome of the Rock and secular Israeli politics have stalled the temple

[25:05] – Global commerce, the mark of the beast, and central bank digital currencies

[29:23] – How state-controlled currency mirrors China's social credit system

[32:29] – The third and more hopeful sign: the gospel reaching every ethnic group by 2033

[35:27] – Why the decline of masculinity collides with this moment in history

[37:13] – Larry on feeling spiritually ready but not practically prepared

[44:05] – What Covid revealed about government control, framed carefully as speculation

[48:39] – Why building a bunker is the wrong first step

[50:34] – The five marks of manhood: strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance

[51:34] – Monthly challenges, from cold showers to learning vehicle maintenance

[54:20] – The spiritual anchor and connecting relationally to Jesus

[56:56] – Knowing Jesus as a person, not just checking the church and Bible boxes

[1:03:44] – Larry's hike through Garden of the Gods and the decision that brought him peace

5 Key Takeaways

1. Watch the Season, Not the Date — The instruction was never to predict the day, but to recognize the season and be ready. Don points to several signs converging at once as reason to pay attention rather than panic.
2. Loneliness Is a Crisis, and Community Is the Answer — Most men believe they have to figure life out alone, and the isolation is at an all time high. Real brotherhood is what helps men survive hardship and become better husbands and fathers.
3. Don't Build a Bunker, Build a Community — The prepper instinct is individualistic, but the biblical model is to love your neighbor as yourself. The right next step is building strong community that can support each other through any storm.
4. Grow Real Skills as a Man — Strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance are traits you develop over a lifetime. Practical challenges like cold showers or basic vehicle maintenance build the grit and capability most modern men have lost.
5. Know Jesus as a Person — Faith isn't just going to church, reading the Bible, and praying as a checklist. It's a relationship built through conversation, listening, and shared experience, the same way you'd cultivate connection with a spouse.

Links & Resources

• Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1523
• Manhood Tribes on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ManhoodTribes
• Roommates to Soulmates (cohort 3, starts September 16, free preview calls September 8 and 9): https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood by Larry Hagner: https://thedadedge.com

Enjoyed This Episode?

If Don's challenge to be informed, prepared, and faithful struck a chord, take one small step this week. Learn a practical skill you've been avoiding, or spend ten quiet minutes listening in prayer instead of just talking. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

Larry is back in studio with his wife Jessica for the fourth installment of their couples series, recorded the same month they hit 23 years of marriage and 30 years of knowing each other. This time the whole conversation centers on one word that quietly makes or breaks a marriage: alignment. Most couples, Larry notes from a decade of coaching, are misaligned on parenting, money, intimacy, and faith, and never realize it until it derails their connection.

Larry and Jessica walk through how they actually got aligned over 22 years, from choosing experiences over stuff and a backyard over a sports car, to spending on healthy food and shared workouts, to raising kids who value connection over possessions. They're honest that it came through constant, daily communication, the kind most couples avoid. If your marriage feels more like managing a household than sharing a life, this conversation is a window into how two people build shared values on purpose.

Timeline Summary

[3:04] – What alignment in marriage actually means, and how misalignment shows up

[6:09] – The daily reality of getting kids to help, and delegating chores

[10:10] – Pulling back the curtain on a heated dinner with one of their kids the night before

[10:52] – Why cleaning became Larry and Jessica's separate processing and thinking time

[12:10] – The core values exercise and discovering they valued environment and connection, not possessions

[13:36] – Their family mission: experiences over stuff, memories over things, connection over everything

[16:05] – Why some couples need to buy or schedule experiences just to feel connected

[17:53] – The Covid dishes conversation and Jessica's grounded response to Larry's darkest thought

[19:52] – No luxury cars, no name brands, and being genuinely okay with less

[22:36] – The backyard project versus a sports car, and what Ethan learned from it

[24:16] – How they actually arrived at shared values through talking and reflecting

[26:40] – 2017 as the turning point toward chasing experiences over stuff

[27:04] – The three gifts rule at Christmas and where it came from

[30:39] – Jessica's advice to their kids: communication is the key to any relationship

[33:55] – Why couples talk about logistics but avoid the deeper alignment conversations

[36:02] – The intimacy parallel: what happens when you stop pursuing each other

[38:24] – Why they never run out of things to talk about, even after 23 years

[40:14] – Can people be taught to communicate, or is that just who they are?

[44:43] – Alignment as the make or break, and the non-negotiables they built together

[45:33] – Going to bed at the same time, and when it's actually okay to go to bed angry

5 Key Takeaways

1. Alignment Is the Make or Break — Most couples are quietly misaligned on parenting, money, intimacy, and faith, and it derails their connection without them realizing why. Building shared values on purpose is what holds a marriage together over decades.
2. Experiences Over Stuff — Larry and Jessica built a family mission around memories over things and connection over everything. The backyard they gather in beat the sports car precisely because it creates shared experiences instead of solo possession.
3. Communication Has to Be Daily — Talking through logistics isn't the same as real communication. Checking in every day, even briefly, keeps small tensions from compounding into the silence and assumptions that quietly end marriages.
4. Don't Let Intimacy Drift — Just like conversation, physical intimacy erodes when you stop pursuing each other. Let too much time pass and it becomes awkward and hard to return to, so keep reaching for each other before the gap widens.
5. You Can Change If It Matters Enough — "That's just who I am" is an excuse, not a fact. People revert to old patterns, but anyone can learn to communicate better if the relationship matters enough to them to keep practicing.

Links & Resources

• Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1522
• Roommates to Soulmates (cohort 3, starts September 16, free preview calls September 8 and 9): https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl

Enjoyed This Episode?

If hearing Larry and Jessica lay out the values they built on purpose made you wonder where you and your spouse are actually aligned, pick one area and talk it through this week. Ask your partner what they'd want more of, or download the 25 questions and work through a couple on your next date. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.