You may have heard of hormesis — the idea that intentionally embracing small stressors activates the body’s repair and defense systems, building resilience, improving how the body and even the microbiome function, and ultimately protecting against the harms of chronic stress.

We typically think of these hormetic stressors in terms of things like exercising, taking ice baths, sitting in a sauna, and ingesting certain plant compounds. But you ought to consider adding socializing to that list.

As my guest today explains, while we tend to avoid socializing as we do all stressors — even the good ones — it's something that can strengthen our health, resilience, immunity, and sense of meaning. Jeffrey Hall, professor of communication studies and co-author of The Social Biome: How Everyday Communication Connects and Shapes Us, joins me to discuss why relationships are harder to build in the modern world, how our adolescent approach to making friends needs to evolve, and why we must intentionally “exercise” our social muscles in a world where they'll otherwise atrophy.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Jeffrey's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #772 — How Long Does It Take to Make Friends (And How Does That Process Work, Anyway)?
• AoM Article: 3 Things No One Ever Told You About Making Friends in Adulthood
• AoM Article: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Your Social Fitness
• AoM Podcast #863: Key Insights From the Longest Study on Happiness
• AoM Article: Love Is All You Need — Insights from the Longest Longitudinal Study on Men Ever Conducted

Connect With Jeffrey Hall

• KU’s Relationships and Technology Lab
• Jeffrey's faculty page
• Jeffrey on LinkedIn
• Jeffrey on IG

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Whether you’ve never stepped foot in a weight room or you’ve been lifting for years without seeing significant results, figuring out how to get big, strong, and jacked can feel overwhelming. There are endless programs, conflicting opinions, and a lot of noise about what actually works.

Today on the show, Paul Horn offers a grounded, field-tested take on what really helps average guys get stronger and more muscular — without burning out. Paul is a strength coach and the author of Radically Simple Strength and Radically Simple Muscle. We discuss why you need to get strong before you get shredded, how and why Paul modified the classic Starting Strength program, the strength benchmarks men should be able to hit, when to shift from powerlifting to bodybuilding-style training, why you should train your lower body like a powerlifter and your upper body like a bodybuilder, the physique signal that shows you're in shape, the body fat percentage every man should get down to at least once in his life, and more.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #154: Strength Training for Everyone
• AoM Podcast #302: My Workout Routine & The Benefits of a Strength Coach
• AoM Podcast #826: From Novice to Advanced — The Weightlifter’s Journey
• AoM Article: The Re-Rise of the Machines
• AoM Article: Getting Ripped vs. Getting Strong
• Paul's video on how to stretch your shoulders for the low-bar back squat
• Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe
• AoM barbell training videos with Mark Rippetoe

Connect With Paul Horn

• Paul's website

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For generations, the path to adulthood was straightforward: go to college, get a job, build a life. But many young men are beginning to question the college component of that path; tuition keeps rising, A.I. has made the professional landscape more uncertain, and there's just a sense that after four years at college, guys graduate feeling like they haven't been very challenged, haven't much changed, and haven't gained a lot of real confidence, competence, and concrete know-how.

My guest today, Matt Smith, has created an alternative to college — a 4-year, 16-cycle curriculum designed to shape participants into Renaissance Men: skilled, self-reliant, and grounded in character. Matt co-authored The Preparation with his son Maxim, who is currently working his way through the program.

In the first half of our conversation, Matt shares what kickstarted this idea and what's lacking in the education model for young men today. We then turn to the nuts and bolts of The Preparation, and Matt walks us through several of the program’s hands-on cycles — including earning EMT certification, building a house, and training as a fighter in Thailand — and how gaining these real-world skills prepares a young man for whatever is next in life.

After the show is over, check out the show notes at aom.is/thepreparation

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Modern medicine has given us incredible tools to peer inside the body and spot disease earlier than ever before. But with that power comes a problem: the more we look, the more we find — and not everything we find needs fixing.

My guest today, neurologist Dr. Suzanne O'Sullivan, argues that our culture of over-diagnosis is leaving many people more anxious, more medicalized, and sometimes less healthy. In her book The Age of Diagnosis: How Our Obsession with Medical Labels Is Making Us Sicker, she explains how screening tests, shifting definitions of “normal,” and the rise of mental health labels can turn ordinary struggles or idiosyncrasies into problems in need of treatment. We dig into everything from cancer and diabetes to Lyme disease and ADHD and discuss how diagnosis really works, why screening can sometimes harm as much as it helps, and how to know when a label is and isn't useful.

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Most people think of anger as a problem — something to avoid or repress. It’s irrational, immature, and best left behind.

But what if anger isn’t bad? What if it can actually be an incredibly positive, productive, energizing life force?

My guest argues we’ve misunderstood anger — and that doing so has made us more anxious, depressed, and stuck. His name is Sam Parker, and he’s a journalist and the author of Good Anger: How Rethinking Rage Can Change Our Lives. Today on the show, we explore the surprising psychology and philosophy of anger. Sam explains how anger should be understood as a neutral emotion that imparts valuable information. He shares why we confuse anger with aggression, how anger can point to unmet needs and violated boundaries, and why repressing it might be damaging our health. We also talk about anger’s role in work, creativity, and relationships, and how to channel anger to help us achieve more, maintain our self-respect, and live a more grounded life.

If you’ve ever thought anger was something to outgrow, this conversation may just change your mind.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Marcia Reynolds' TEDx Talk: How to Use Anger as a Force for Good
• AoM Podcast #489: How to Get a Handle on Your Anger
• AoM Article: How Labeling Your Emotions Can Help You Take Control

Connect With Sam Parker

• Sam's website
• Sam on X
• Sam's Substack

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When you picture a gunfighter, you probably think of a Hollywood cowboy — spurs jangling, six-shooter on his hip, squaring off at high noon in a dusty frontier town. But gunfighters weren’t just products of Hollywood. They were real men who lived and died by a code: one rooted in a particular sense of honor.

My guest today is Bryan Burrough, author of The Gunfighters: How Texas Made the West Wild. We dig into the true story behind America’s gunfighting era — how it grew out of the South’s dueling culture, was intensified by the violence of post–Civil War Texas, and spread across the frontier via the cattle drive. We explore why so many gunfights had less to do with crime and more to do with reputation, why the Colt revolver transformed personal conflict into deadly spectacle, and how young men came to see violence as a rite of manhood. Along the way, Bryan also explores how gunfighters went from frontier figures to pop culture icons — and which films, in his view, captured their essence best.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Johnny Ringo
• John Wesley Hardin
• Wild Bill Hickok
• Gunfight at the O.K. Corral
• Fight scene in Gangs of New York
• AoM Article: The Best Western Movies Ever Made
• AoM Article: 21 Western Novels Every Man Should Read
• AoM series on honor, including What Is Honor? and Honor in the American South

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The ancient art of rhetoric has shaped political policies, influenced social movements, structured legal arguments, and molded cultural narratives throughout history. It's been used for three thousand years to persuade other people to change their lives.

But what if you could use it to persuade yourself?

My guest today says you can. Jay Heinrichs is the author of Aristotle's Guide to Self-Persuasion, and he explains how the same rhetorical techniques that great leaders and orators have used for millennia can be turned inward to help you change your life. We discuss how to identify your "soul" as your internal audience, use the concept of kairos to turn chaos into opportunity, create hyperbolic moonshot goals that inspire action even if you fall short, and employ ethos, pathos, and logos to achieve the habits and goals you aspire to. Along the way, we talk about how Jay used these self-leadership tools to go from barely being able to walk to attempting an athletic feat physiologists told him was impossible.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Jay's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #639 — Why You Should Learn the Lost Art of Rhetoric
• AoM series on Rhetoric 101

Connect With Jay Heinrichs

• Jay's website
• ArgueLab

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Making big decisions can feel paralyzing. Whether it's choosing a new job, moving to a different city, or deciding if you should break up with someone, these choices can keep you agonizingly stuck, forever cycling through pros and cons.

My guest can help you finally choose and move forward. That's what she does for a living. Nell Wulfhart is a professional decision coach who has all her clients reach a decision within a one-hour session. Today on the show, she explains why people get stuck when faced with big choices, why we often take way longer than we need to make a decision, and how this actually makes our lives worse. Nell then walks us through two practical exercises she uses with her clients to home in on the right option, and shares her tips on overcoming the paralysis that often attends making a big decision, as well as how to deal with the regret that inevitably comes with making tough choices.

Maybe by the time our hour together is over, you'll have finally made the big decision that's been weighing on your mind.

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In a world that often feels dominated by technology and constant change, it’s easy to forget that some people are still living by the rhythms of ancient traditions. James Rebanks, an author and shepherd, is one of them, and in today's episode, he shares what following a way of life that has endured for thousands of years can teach us about modern life and the things that matter.

James offers a glimpse at the often ignored and misunderstood world of pastoral life in England's Lake District, which isn't just about working with sheep and cattle but maintaining a deep connection to past generations, a commitment to community, and a sense of purpose. He takes us through the life of a fell shepherd, where the timeless values of hard work, seasonality, stewardship, and stillness still get lived out day to day.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• James' books
• Grazing School
• The Poetics of Manhood by Michael Herzfeld
• Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
• Dying Breed article: 5 Things Farmers Have Taught Me About Work, Life, and Legacy
• Wendell Berry's books
• Regeneratist Allen Williams
• Regeneratist Greg Judy

Connect With James Rebanks

• James on X
• James on IG

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You're on an airplane that crash lands. Smoke fills the cabin, and you've got only seconds to react. How would you respond? Would you immediately take action — or freeze in place?

While you might think you know how a scene like this would play out from watching movies, the reality of what occurs in the aftermath of a disaster is quite a bit different. And that knowledge gap could prove deadly.

My guest, Amanda Ripley, spent years researching how humans actually respond in emergencies, interviewing their survivors, as well leading researchers. In her book, The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why, she uncovers the myths and realities of survival psychology and explores the individual and structural factors that shape people's outcomes in unexpected crises. Today, Amanda explains why the biggest threat during an emergency isn't panic but passivity — and how to overcome the tendency to be overly complacent and compliant. We discuss why you might actually want to read the airplane safety card, what we can learn from the surprising calm that prevailed in the World Trade Center towers on 9/11, how to improve your risk assessment, what influences if you'll act heroically in an emergency, and much more. This episode will give you plenty to think about — and could even make the difference in how you respond if you're ever faced with the unthinkable.

• Amanda's website

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