Why do some leaders command respect while others get ignored? In this episode of Social Intelligence, Stanford professor and venture capitalist Robert Siegel breaks down the overlooked behaviors that separate average performers from high-impact leaders.

Drawing on decades of research and real-world business experience, Robert shares how humility, listening, and honest self-reflection are the key ingredients to long-term success. You’ll learn how to thrive in chaotic environments, shift from control to trust, and build loyalty in the people you lead — whether you’re running a startup, a classroom, or a family.

What to Listen For

[00:00:00] Why Robert’s background in tech and venture capital revealed a pattern in great leaders
[00:03:11] What leaders miss when they mistake charisma for competence
[00:07:19] The value of slowing down and listening — even when you’re under pressure
[00:10:32] Why being the smartest person in the room can make you ineffective
[00:14:09] Lessons from Motorola: how “hero culture” undermined the team
[00:18:23] The danger of over-optimizing for control instead of building trust
[00:25:00] The “credibility bank account” and how it affects influence and decision-making
[00:31:11] What CEOs often miss about emotional intelligence
[00:38:30] The role of humility in hiring, managing, and growing a company
[00:44:15] Why balancing empathy and execution is the mark of a real leader
[00:51:20] The underrated superpower of asking good questions instead of giving answers
[00:56:42] What Robert teaches his Stanford students about legacy and influence

A Word From Our Sponsors

Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!

Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy!

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠

Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm

Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠

Curious about your influence level? 

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Resources from this Episode

⁠Dr. Abbie Marono's website⁠

⁠The Upper Hand⁠

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people attend networking events hoping something good happens. High-performers don’t hope — they engineer connection. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and John share a 3-part framework for dominating networking events without faking extroversion or relying on luck.

You’ll learn how to build relationships before the event even starts, create social capital in real-time, and make sure your connections actually turn into opportunities after the event. If you’re tired of leaving conferences with nothing but a stack of business cards, this is your blueprint for finally making networking work.

What to Listen For

[00:00:00] The problem with most networking: business cards, but no real relationships
[00:01:00] Strategy 1: Host a private dinner before the event to create instant connections
[00:03:00] How one client turned a simple dinner into the most talked-about moment of the conference
[00:04:40] The science behind why pre-event exposure boosts trust (Mere Exposure Effect)
[00:06:00] Strategy 2: How to become a super-connector — even if you’re introverted
[00:07:48] How live introductions instantly raise your status and social capital
[00:08:53] Strategy 3: Get hyper-specific about who you want to meet
[00:10:00] Why vague networking goals lead to vague results
[00:11:00] The follow-up system: 60-90 minutes that turn conversations into real opportunities
[00:12:07] How the pre-event dinner creates a collaborative "team" approach to networking
[00:14:09] Swing for the fences: how one client landed a keynote speaker at dinner
[00:15:12] The magic of networking happens before and after—not during

A Word From Our Sponsors

Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!

Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy!

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠

Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm

Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠

Curious about your influence level? 

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think influence is about clever tactics or quick wins. But true, lasting influence is built on trust, emotional intelligence, and understanding how people really think. In this episode of Social Intelligence, Abbie Morano returns to reveal her 5-principle framework for ethical influence — combining biology, psychology, and social dynamics.

Abbie breaks down why short-term manipulation backfires, how to guide conversations by giving others control, and why your own emotional regulation is the foundation for building real trust. If you want to increase your influence in high-stakes conversations, negotiations, or leadership, this is the playbook.

What to Listen For

[00:00:00] Why ethical influence starts with regulating your own emotions
[00:04:00] The difference between manipulation and pro-social engineering
[00:07:17] Why short-term wins lead to long-term losses
[00:10:00] Abbie’s 5 core principles for influence: bio-psycho-social framework
[00:15:00] How triggering survival instincts blocks trust and cooperation
[00:20:42] The danger of ultimatums—and how they backfire in negotiations
[00:23:00] How “structured choices” increase compliance while preserving control
[00:26:20] Why authenticity isn’t a tactic—it’s a long-term advantage
[00:34:00] The power of “pantsing yourself” to defuse conflict and lower aggression
[00:41:00] How self-identity shapes every influence conversation
[00:52:47] How to prepare for high-stakes conversations using the full framework
[01:00:12] Why emotional regulation is the first step toward true influence

A Word From Our Sponsors

Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!

Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy!

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠.

This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠

Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm

Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠

Curious about your influence level? 

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠.

Resources from this Episode

Dr. Abbie Marono's website

The Upper Hand

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You only get one shot at a first impression—and most of it happens before you even speak. In this episode, AJ and John break down the four science-backed factors that shape how people instantly judge your presence, confidence, and trustworthiness. Whether you’re walking into a job interview, a networking event, or a first date, you’ll get actionable strategies to control the room from the moment you walk in.

From body language and clothing to the psychology of where you stand in a room, this episode reveals the subtle social cues that silently make or break your first impression. Stick around for the 5-minute upgrade challenge at the end to rewire your muscle memory and command attention effortlessly.

What to Listen For

[00:00:00] Why high-stakes moments make us hyper-aware—and how to stay grounded
[00:01:06] Why it can take 10 interactions to fix a bad first impression
[00:02:00] The body language science that explains how people judge you in 6 seconds
[00:03:00] Why your health, energy, and confidence are silently being evaluated
[00:04:27] The “Glow Up” effect: how working out boosts your presence
[00:05:00] How to use the “Doorway Drill” to reprogram your posture and vibe
[00:07:00] The power of enclothed cognition: how clothes impact your mindset
[00:08:57] How style and grooming signal status—without saying a word
[00:09:21] Why standing in the shadows destroys your social proof
[00:10:44] The 4-step “First Impression Challenge” to prime your body and mind
[00:11:00] Visual cue trick to make confident posture automatic
[00:12:21] How to walk into any room like you own it

A Word From Our Sponsors

Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!

Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠ to networking like a spy!

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠.

This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠

Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm

Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠

Curious about your influence level? 

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠.

Resources from this Episode

⁠Speak, Memorably: The Art of Captivating an Audience⁠

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠

⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠

⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠

⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠

⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠

⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠

⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you think good communication means saying more, think again. Emmy-winning journalist and executive coach Bill McGowan joins AJ and Johnny to reveal the science of saying less—but meaning more. From boardrooms to interviews, Bill has coached some of the world’s top leaders (and celebrities) to craft compelling, unforgettable messages—and today, he’s sharing the playbook.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to ditch jargon, avoid rambling, and master your “media moment.” Whether you’re giving a presentation, going on a first date, or handling a tough question at work, this is your guide to sounding confident, concise, and charismatic under pressure.

What to Listen For

[00:00:00] Why overexplaining hurts your credibility
[00:03:45] The power of “soundbite thinking” and how to master it
[00:07:12] How to speak with authority—without sounding rehearsed
[00:10:26] Why strong visuals beat fancy vocabulary in storytelling
[00:13:19] The secret to controlling your body language under pressure
[00:15:54] Why silence is one of the most persuasive communication tools
[00:20:46] The “message box” framework used by media pros
[00:26:17] How to be memorable when you only have 30 seconds
[00:35:21] Why “smooth talkers” often come across as insincere
[00:45:07] How to prep for tough questions without sounding scripted
[00:54:32] Final advice: the three words to avoid in every presentation

Episode Takeaways

Brevity is credibility: People trust speakers who get to the point

“Soundbite” training prepares you to be remembered—not just heard

Strategic silence creates impact and signals confidence

Storytelling drives emotional engagement more than stats ever can

The best communicators speak with rhythm, not speed

Being memorable isn’t accidental—it’s trained

A Word From Our Sponsors

Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!

Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠CIA-proven guide⁠ to networking like a spy!

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠quince.com/charm⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/charm⁠.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠.

This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm

Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm

Connect with quality therapists and mental
health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm

Curious about your influence level? 

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠.

Resources from this Episode

Speak, Memorably: The Art of Captivating an Audience

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠

⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠

⁠AJ on Instagram⁠

⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think confidence means knowing exactly what to say. But in reality, social confidence starts with knowing how to start—not how to be perfect. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down how to overcome the awkwardness of small talk, crush anxiety before it starts, and connect instantly in any room.

You’ll learn the three best ways to open a conversation (even if you’re nervous), why the “question trap” makes you less likable, and how to train your brain to love social situations. Whether you're walking into a party, a networking event, or just standing in line at a coffee shop, this episode gives you the exact tools to go from anxious to magnetic.

What to listen for

00:00:00] Why social confidence isn’t about charm—it’s about reps
[00:01:32] The hidden reason small talk feels so hard
[00:03:06] Three bulletproof openers that work in any situation
[00:05:12] The “Q&A-S” method to keep a conversation flowing
[00:06:48] Why your brain shuts down in social moments—and how to stop it
[00:08:15] Reframing nerves as energy, not anxiety
[00:09:43] The exposure ladder: how to train social confidence
[00:11:03] One challenge to level up your next five conversations

Episode takeaways

Social confidence is a muscle—repetition builds ease

The best openers are simple, contextual, and observational

Avoid the “question trap”—use question, answer, statement instead

Nervousness and excitement feel the same—your label creates your experience

Your brain mirrors your inner dialogue—speak to yourself like you would a friend

Use an “exposure ladder” to gradually rewire social fear into connection

Magnetic people aren’t born—they’re built through consistent reps

A Word From Our Sponsors

Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!

Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠CIA-proven guide⁠ to networking like a spy!

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠quince.com/charm⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/charm⁠.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠.

Curious about your influence level? 

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠.

Resources from this Episode

⁠Anna Goldfarb on Substack⁠

⁠Anna Goldfarb on Instagram⁠

⁠Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections⁠

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠

⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠

⁠AJ on Instagram⁠

⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Modern life has made friendship feel more confusing, fragile, and isolating than ever. In this episode, journalist and author Anna Goldfarb joins us to unpack the paradox of modern friendship — why we’re lonelier despite being more connected, and what we can do to build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Anna shares her “Triple D” framework (Desire, Diligence, Delight) and breaks down the hidden architecture of great friendships: clear aboutness, healthy compartmentalization, emotional maturity, and the courage to reconnect.

Whether you’re tired of being everyone’s unpaid therapist or simply wondering how to revive a drifting connection, this episode gives you the practical tools and emotional insight to reset your social life — no cringe required.

What to Listen For

[00:00] Why affection alone isn’t enough for deep friendship

[00:01:09] What’s changed about adult friendships — and why we’re feeling more disconnected

[00:04:16] The hidden cost of unlimited choice and hyper-individualism

[00:08:07] Active vs. nostalgic friendships: how to tell the difference

[00:11:19] Every great friendship has an “About” — and here’s how to find yours

[00:14:39] 6 hard truths about friendship (and how to stop blaming yourself)

[00:23:01] Why emotional maturity is the new social skillset

[00:33:56] The Triple D framework for building strong friendships

[00:44:10] How to avoid being an unpaid therapist (and stop pushing people away)

[00:52:34] The Friendship Cleanse: reset your network with clarity and care

Episode Takeaways:

Connection isn’t about quantity — it’s about clear shared meaning. Find your friendship “About.”

It’s okay to compartmentalize your relationships. Not every friend needs to be your everything.

Friendships require maintenance. If it matters, don’t let the silence stretch too long.

Maturity means asking: am I showing up the way I want to be treated?

Most people want to reconnect. They’re just waiting on someone to go first.

Make time for delight. Reignite friendships by creating new shared memories — not just rehashing old ones.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!

Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy!

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.

Curious about your influence level? 

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.

Resources from this Episode

Anna Goldfarb on Substack

Anna Goldfarb on Instagram

Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on LinkedIn

Johnny on LinkedIn

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Instagram

The Art of Charm on Instagram

The Art of Charm on YouTube

The Art of Charm on TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve got names in your phone that make you smile—but when’s the last time you actually reached out? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak share four simple, science-backed strategies to reconnect with old friends, former mentors, and professional contacts—even if it’s been years.

What to Listen For

Episode Takeaways

Most people love being contacted out of the blue, even if it’s been years

Rebuilding old relationships is often faster and more impactful than making new ones

Use the Expert Tap to ask for advice—it shows respect and reignites connection

Send a Thoughtful Share (article, podcast, project) to rekindle shared interests

Trigger warm emotions through Nostalgia Sparks—photos or throwback memories

Close the Results Loop by showing how someone’s past advice helped you

Reaching out adds real value to others’ lives and strengthens your network long-term

This week: reconnect with one friend, one mentor, and one former coworker

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of The Art of Charm, we sit down with Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener and Professor Christian van Nieuwerburgh, authors of Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection. Together, they unpack a new framework for transforming your conversations—not with better scripts, but with sharper intention.

Drawing from psychology, coaching, and decades of research, we explore the six listening motivations, why “active listening” falls short, and how to avoid the silent killers of connection—like half-listening, politeness, and certainty.

Whether you're leading a team, navigating tough conversations, or simply tired of being misunderstood, this episode is a masterclass in making people feel truly seen, heard, and valued.

What to Listen For

[00:00:00] Introduction

[00:03:08] What is Radical Listening and how does it go beyond active listening?

[00:06:49] Six listening intentions—and how they change everything

[00:09:55] How to set the stage for hard conversations with appreciation, not authority

[00:17:34] Why quick, genuine care matters more than long, empty check-ins

[00:25:17] The myth of being a “great listener” and what most high performers miss

[00:34:33] Why watching yourself on video can instantly improve your listening

[00:38:12] What does “listening for” versus “listening to” actually mean?

[00:45:33] The real cost of half-listening—and why it breaks trust

[00:51:26] How to interject without interrupting—and why it’s actually radical empathy

Episode Takeaways:

You’re not being ignored because you're unimportant—people are stuck in half-attention. Flip the script by modeling radical listening.

Start with intention. Every conversation is a choice—validate, influence, learn, support. Know what you’re there to do.

Interruptions aren’t rude if they’re respectful. Interject to amplify, not hijack.

In your leadership, it's not what you say—it’s how you show you care. A 60-second check-in can change someone’s entire day.

Half-listening is worse than not listening at all. Either be fully present—or ask to talk later.The best listeners aren’t born—they’re trained. Develop your awareness like a skill, not a trait.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection

CoachOnAMotorcycle.com (Christian’s site)

IntentionalHappiness.com (Robert’s site)

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on LinkedIn

Johnny on LinkedIn

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Instagram

The Art of Charm on Instagram

The Art of Charm on YouTube

The Art of Charm on TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Moving to a new city can feel like starting over—but it doesn’t have to. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down a science-backed three-step strategy to plug into a brand-new social circle in weeks, not months.

What to Listen For

Episode Takeaways

Within the first 90 days of moving, forming one close tie can increase happiness by over 50%

Avoid "bubble living" by identifying a third place outside work and home

Repeated presence at third places creates propinquity—we like who we see often

Use “because disclosures” to spark trust and show vulnerability instantly

Even trivial reasons build connection, thanks to Ellen Langer’s Xerox study

Join group physical activities (run clubs, fitness classes, rec sports) for biochemical bonding

Use the Triple Stack: Pick a third place, open with a disclosure, invite to an activity

Prep matters—script disclosures, treat social outings like meetings, and take brief notes after interactions to increase recall and follow-up success

A Word From Our Sponsors

Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities!

Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠CIA-proven guide⁠ to networking like a spy!

Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠quince.com/charm⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns.

Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/charm⁠.

Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠.

Curious about your influence level? 

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠.

⁠DCM Insights⁠

⁠The Activator Advantage: What Today's Rainmakers Do Differently⁠

⁠The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation⁠

⁠HBR: What Today’s Rainmakers Do Differently⁠

⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠

⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠

⁠AJ on Instagram⁠

⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠

⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices