READ: 1 CORINTHIANS 13:3-7; 1 JOHN 4:16

Maybe you’re like me, and you’ve found yourself struggling with same-sex attraction. Or maybe you haven’t personally experienced this, but some of your friends have come out as LGBTQ+. You may wrestle with knowing how to respond. Should you still be friends with them? How much do you agree with your friends, and how much don’t you? What does “love” mean in this scenario?

Although this could be (and should be) a much longer conversation, let’s dive into how to love our friends when they come out to us by using three characteristics listed in 1 Corinthians 13.

“Love is…kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). I am giving you permission to be kind to your friends—no matter how they identify. It is God’s kindness, tolerance, and patience that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Additionally, our friends who identify as attracted to people of the same sex may not need repentance from it. They are simply telling us how they are tempted sexually. Temptation of any variety is not a sin (Hebrews 4:15).

“Love…rejoices whenever the truth wins out” (1 Corinthians 13:4-6). I have watched people change their theology of marriage overnight when a friend comes out. They see their friend genuinely in pain over what they reveal (or happy for the first time in a long time), and they conclude, “We must have gotten marriage wrong.” The church has unquestionably gotten loving people in the midst of any type of wrestling wrong, but the Bible isn’t wrong when it comes to marriage and sexuality. Loving your friend well means loving them toward daily surrender of any type of sin struggle.

“Love never gives up” (1 Corinthians 13:7). If your friend rejects you, don’t reject them. If they wander from the faith, you stay connected. As one friend said to me, “You are so annoying in your pursuit of me—and so like Jesus!” Be annoying like Jesus—just like He is in His pursuit of you—as you love your equally broken friends. Never give up on them.

Truly loving someone is not easy—it is costly. But it is the only way I know how to demonstrate the heart of the one whose name is Love. • Laurie Krieg

• Whenever we read 1 Corinthians 13, it’s vital to remember that this is the way Jesus loves us. Consider taking some time to read this passage slowly, and just rest in Jesus’s love for you.

• Throughout the Bible, God blesses marriage between one man and one woman. He makes it clear that the relationship between a husband and wife should reflect the loving and faithful relationship between Christ and the church, and that sex is a good gift to be shared and enjoyed by a husband and wife within marriage. While being attracted to someone of the same sex is not a sin, acting on those attractions by pursuing a sexual encounter is sin. In the same way, pursuing a sexual encounter with someone of the opposite sex who is not our spouse is also a sin. And lusting after anyone is a sin as well. But, thanks be to God, He extends forgiveness to us through Jesus’s death and resurrection. The truth is, we are all equally broken with sin and in need of Jesus. And even after we’ve put our trust in Jesus to save us, He calls us to live in a daily rhythm of confession, repentance, and thankfulness as we rest in His forgiveness. How should these truths affect the way we interact with people who struggle with different temptations than we do?

• Read Hebrews 4:14-16. Why is it important to know that Jesus Himself was tempted yet was without sin?

• Who do you know who is wrestling with their sexuality right now? Have you responded to them in love? Consider taking some time to pray for this person, asking God to bless them and to help you love them well.

• How can you do the work of love today—specifically in being kind, rejoicing in the truth, and never giving up?

• If you’re struggling with how to best love your LGBTQ+ friends, reach out to The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender. They can offer you loving and nonjudgmental support and point you to people you can talk with and/or resources that may help you in your journey: centerforfaith.com/contact

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7 (NLT)