Some of us saw Blue Beetle, some of us didn’t see Blue Beetle. Either way, we’re here to tell you that Susan Sarandon is a baddie. Susan, if you’re listening, please respond to Jackson re: horny like a cartoon wolf. We’re sure the moment you see him smack his own head with Zammit’s shoe, you may reconsider your stance on gross little goblin men, just like he’s reconsidering his stance on gilfs!

Here is a list of reasons we think you and Jackson would make the perfect fit

1. You starred in James and the Giant Peach and a movie about Lorenzo’s Oil. Jackson LOVES peaches, being little and is slippery like oil

2. You’ve both called the Pope a nazi

3. You own a New York Ping Pong Club and Jackson can fit at least 4 (maybe more by the time of release!) ping pong balls in his person

If that interests you Susan, you know where to find him. Love and kisses, forever and always, your boys.

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