Welcome to Monday Motivation - Put your phone down

I am very rarely prescriptive in my Monday Motivations. I like to offer perspectives, thoughts, or strategies that have worked for me in my writing life, and hope that some of it lands. 

Today’s Monday Motivation is different, and it is super simple. It is probably going to sting a little bit.

Put your phone down. Turn off the TV. Go do anything else other than consume story after story about the chaos in the world.

There is a lot of things we cannot control in this world. I think for some, this realization is just landing. We live not outside of nature, but within it. We are part of an order, we don’t create the order. 

But, you control how much media you consume. 

I get there is a value to being connected in this time of change. I’m not saying you should go off grid. I’m saying there is a diminishing return in the value of that information. 

It is not easy to disconnect. I deeply struggle with this. Some days I downright fail. But, any additional moment not spent throttling my stress level is a win.  When I limit my media consumption, at the end of the day, I feel a relaxation in my neck and shoulders. My head doesn’t feel like it is going to explode. The death of myself and all my loved ones is not imminent. 

So give your nervous a break. Start with a small action or task and build from there. Take a bath, take a walk. Read a good book. Write a story. Write down how you feel. Cry. Run. Hug those close to you. Find a way to help. Draw, paint, watch a good movie. Clean your house. Write a letter to someone who is alone. Call an old friend. Donate to people or organizations that need aid. 

Here’s the thing. The world is suffering, and it will suffer for a while. There is no way around that. You and I can’t control the suffering. But we can bring light to those around us. We can show ourselves grace. And humans are tough. We survive. We adapt. Even in hard times, there is the human to create and protect. 

 We can make lemonade. 

Thank you for listening. Stay safe, stay isolated. And I hope you have a wonderful week of writing.

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Welcome to Episode 19 – How Rhys Bowen Writes

Before we start the interview, I am offering free daily coaching session. But only one appointment can be scheduled each day, so once that day is gone… its gone. You can sign up for the day that works for you and bring any topic you want to the table. If you are dealing with doubt or struggling to write in what is turning out to be a crazy world… whatever it might be, I’d love to connect with you. We’ll spend 60 minutes driving towards a plan to help you out. Right now, there are like 60% of the days taken, so if you are on the fence, hop on go to www.howwriterswrite.com/30days to book your appointment. 

And now, here is the interview with Rhys Bowen. 

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Welcome to Monday Motivation – Play Offense, Not Defense

I grew up playing football and sports in general, so I tend to see parts of the writing life through an athletic lens. “Play offense, not defense” is a football term that was adopted in the business world. In business, the point is that it’s easy to look over at a competitor and try and do what they are doing. In defensive mode, you are always reacting, always trying to catch up to a good idea from someone else. Businesses like this are fearful, they look at the world as a zero-sum game, where only a few win and many others most lose. 

We play a lot of defense in the writing life. It is just so easy to compare ourselves to others. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Who is publishing before me?
2. Who is writing more than me?
3. Who seems to be writing in a happier mood than me?
4. Who is just a plain better writer than me? 

And on and on and on. 

Writing is a risky, solitary activity. There aren’t a lot of other things we do where we sit by ourselves for long periods of time and then expose our heart for the world to see. Oh, and along the way we get little to no feedback.

And so it is natural that we look at what others are doing and ask the question, “am I okay?” 

And what happens? Oftentimes, we see the success of those around us. We don’t see the struggle, and so we think we are doing something wrong. If this person is a publishing monster and here I can’t seem to get through a manuscript, something must be wrong with me… right? 

No.

I’m not here to absolve you of personal growth, but to point out that you are on your own path, and there is so little to gain from comparing yourself to someone else.

Playing offense means you keep your eyes on your writing journey. You wake up to tell your story on the timeframe that works for you. You write with your heart. You publish when it is time. You play your own offense, not defense. 

This is hard as hell, but releasing yourself from the comparison game is a powerful gift. And it is free, to give to yourself. 

Before we go, I am offering a month of daily free coaching sessions. Basically, each day there is a 60-minute slot open. If we haven’t had a coaching call before, you can sign up for the day that works for you and bring any topic you want to the table. Stuck on a manuscript? Dealing with doubt? Writers block? We’ll spend 60 minutes driving towards a plan to help you out. To sign up, go to www.howwriterswrite.com/30days. 

Thank you for listening, and I hope you have a wonderful week of writing.

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I’ve been a spree of interviewing authors who produce 1-2, sometimes even three books per year, and Robert has been doing just that for years. I love showing that there is more than one way to write, produce, and publish. In this interview with Robert, we dig into his writing habits, routines, and some of the magic that has helped him sell over 5,000,000 books since 2012. 

I want to say a special thanks to Robert for his time. 

Before we get started, this episode is sponsored by… me! How Writers Write is a platform to help writers tell their story. One way I do that is through one-on-one coaching. I help writers move from where they are, to where they want to be. That can mean getting started on a writing project, conquering their self-doubt, or building the discipline to see their story come to life. I invite you to schedule a free, 45-minute introduction call with me. You'll be able to determine both if coaching is for you, and if I am the coach you want to work with. Visit www.howwriterswrite.com/coaching to read more and schedule time with me. 

And now, here is the interview with Robert Dugoni. 

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Monday Motivation – Another Story Must Begin 

For those of you who have listened to this podcast, you know that I absolutely love Les Misérables. And I don’t just love the book, I love the musical as well. In fact, I love the musical so much that I know every single word to every single song. If you don’t believe me, ask my wife, who will tell you the painful, painful truth, because I love to sing it and I am completely tone-deaf. 

Anyways, one of the reasons why I love Les Mis is the story of Jean Valjean. I discussed the impact this story has had on me on the “How Goals Saved my Life” Monday Motivation episode. I’ve learned, and continue to learn, so much from Valjean. 

To dive in even deeper, what I really love is Valjean’s transformation. The book, as is common for the style, spends dozens of pages on the passage when Valjean steals the silver from the priest, is caught, is shown grace by the priest, and then ultimately changes his life. (cue music) But the musical, while different in some ways from the book, does an incredible job of summing up Valjean’s internal turmoil with a single line when Valjean is confirming the metamorphosis that he must go through. He sings, “Another Story Must Begin.”

The point hits home because Valjean realizes he has to change, and that in order to change, he needs to end one story and start another. 

For some of you out there, just like Valjean, its time for a new story to begin.

At any given time, you are only living a draft of your life story. If it is your early draft, and you haven’t done the hard work of editing, it might be a really rough draft. It may not work, just in the way that the first draft of a story is often problematic. Maybe you have the wrong characters in your life, the wrong storyline, dialogue. 

But, with time and hard work, you can make edits. You can write a new story. You can change. 

In coaching, I am always asked if people can change. To me, everything I believe about the human condition, about the possibility of people as a species, rests on the question of whether you can create a new story of your life. My answer is a resounding, shout it from the mountain-tops hell yes. The entire platform of How Writers Write is solidly based on this belief. 

Think about it, as writers, we rip entire sections out of manuscripts. We rebuild characters. I just did this with one of my main characters, in the middle of my second rewrite, 300 pages into my manuscript. We do these things because we realize that those extra words just weight the story down, it keeps the story from being what it wants to be.  

There’s no difference in your life.

For some of you, its time for a new story to begin. Maybe the current version of you is a rough draft. Maybe you’ve gone through some edits, but to get to where you want to be, you’re going to have to rewrite yourself. If that’s you, sharpen your pencils and get to work. 

By the end of the book, what happens to Valjean? He goes on to live a new life where he is a good man. He cares for those around him. He clothes the poor, feeds the hungry. He begins a new story. 

Thank you for listening. If it is time for your new story to begin, but you don’t know where to start, I’m here to talk. Send me a note at [email protected] 

Thank you again, and I hope you have a wonderful week of writing.

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Welcome to Episode 17 – How Libbie Hawker Writes

This episode is packed with information and insights about what is takes to make a living through writing. For me, since recording this episode, I’ve had days and days and days of thinking about my writing strategy and goals. Libbie just gave me so many things to think about, from writing commercial vs literary fiction, to transitions, to how to think about writing as a job. This is a good one. 

I am so grateful to Libbie for sharing her time and wisdom with this podcast. 

And so, here is the episode with Libbie Hawker.

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Monday Motivation – Experience Your Story 

I’m in a season right now with young kids where traveling is a challenge. But that doesn’t keep me from wanting to travel and experience new places. And so to scratch the itch, I do what we all do—I watch the exotic travel shows, I read books, and study maps –god I am such a dad. I can really get into a place that way. There’s a texture that comes from that level of detail and attention.

But, take a moment with me, and imagine the first time you set foot in a really special new location. For me, I’ll pick the first night out in New York. I had just driven in as a young young young man with my soon-to-be wife and her family. 

After getting our bags into the shared hotel room, my wife asked me if I wanted to go out to grab something to eat. It was maybe 10 pm, I told her sure, but like, what would even be open at 10 pm? She laughed, and without saying a word she took my hand. A few moments later, I stood on a bustling corner in midtown. Even at 10 pm there were more people than I’d ever seen in my entire life. I’ll never forget the feeling on that corner, being sandwiched in a sea of humanity, with the heavy smell of street meat—hot dogs, kabobs, roasted nuts in the air. Even at night, it was as if it was the middle of the day. I think I fell in love with New York in that moment and I’ve never quite gotten it out of my system. 

Now, I could have read about New York all I wanted, I could have watched any video about that insane city, but until I walked the streets at 10 pm, I would have never understood New York like I did in that moment.

The same experience vs study mentality applies to writing. Yes, of course, there is value in knowing the map of your story, of getting the history down, but as soon as you can, you need to get out on the street at 10 pm to see the people, smell the smells, and just feel the air. This means you leave the world of thinking and planning about writing into the world of writing. Experience your story by putting words on the page. It does not matter if you are putting down good words, or the right words, it really doesn’t, because what you are after is not a good sentence, but an experience of your story. Have fun, take in the sights and talk to people. Notice the things you notice when you are in awe in a new place.

Once you’ve experienced your story, you can edit that experience into a working draft. But you can’t edit a blank page, or a bunch of research, or good intentions.  

The practical next step here is to put words on the page, but do it not with the expectation and anxiety of having to tell your story, but through the lens of arriving in a new destination for the first time. Your only goal is to “get a sense” of your world and people, to see them in a variety of environments and challenges. Release yourself of the expectation of having to get it right, and you can just have fun.  

Thank you for listening, and I hope you have a wonderful week of writing.

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This episode with Brian Freeman was a treat to record. Filled with practical and inspirational advice, Brian shares his working habits and gives an insight into how he produced two best selling novels each year. I’m going to keep this intro short and sweet because I can’t wait to share this episode.

And so now, without any further ado, here is the episode with Brian Freeman.  

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