The VMAs happened last night and no, I didn’t watch—but Mariah got an award, Gaga and Sabrina were there, and social media was on fire. I’ll catch the highlights on TikTok, don’t worry. Speaking of Gaga, she’s been popping up all over NYC, which brings me to: fun things I can’t afford without a corporate salary. (Also—NURTEC ads ruined her for me, sorry not sorry.)

We’ve got a LOT to unpack this week: SiriusXM’s messy future, SNL cast shakeups, auditions for the new Eloise at the Plaza movie, and yes… the Scooter Braun + Sydney Sweeney situation. Add in Yael Cohen’s wild $13,000 “remove microplastics from your blood” wellness grift, Netflix’s Don’t Die doc featuring Bryan Johnson and a Katrina documentary that hit way too hard.

It’s chaos, it’s commentary, it’s me yelling about biohacking losers and reality TV all in one place.

✨ P.S. If you missed last week’s episodes, go back and catch up—they were juicy.

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