In this conversation, SC Nealy and I discuss the impact of beliefs and oppressive systems on the creation of trauma, emphasizing the need for healthier approaches to spirituality and community involvement. We discuss their work in the LGBTQ+ community, with their dedication to the intersection of mental health and social involvement, where the role of the therapist doesn't just exist in the therapeutic space, but extends into advocacy for civil rights and support for minorities. Rather than promoting a binary choice of religious or secularism, we discuss the need for resources that support individuals who choose to remain within religious and/or spiritual communities while avoiding harmful ideologies.

SC Nealy, LPC (they/she) is a therapist and owner of an all queer and trans-identifying therapy practice in Washington, DC that focuses on bringing therapists with lived experiences to the LGBT+ population. They specialize in religious trauma work and their first non-fiction book, Healing Sacred Wounds, will be published by Bloomsbury in Fall 2026. Visit lgbtcounselingdmv.com for more information, or follow SC Nealy online at @scnealy on Instagram and @booksbysarahrobinson on Facebook.

www.lgbtcounselingdmv.com

www.instagram.com/scnealy

www.facebook.com/booksbysarahrobinson

Beliefs and oppressive systems can cause trauma.

Spirituality can exist without harming others.

Resources for deconstruction are often limited.

Not everyone is ready to deconstruct their beliefs.

Healthy engagement in religious communities is possible.

Creating spaces for those who choose to stay is important.

Support for mental health within religious contexts is needed.

Deconstructing is not the only path to healing.

Community health can be prioritized in spiritual practices.

In this conversation, I talk with Heather Hester exploring the themes of parenting, identity, and the significance of traditions, particularly around Halloween and the upcoming holidays.

Heather Hester is the host of the podcast More Human. More Kind., and the author of Parenting with Pride. As a speaker, coach, and LGBTQ+ advocate, she helps parents, allies, and organizations move from fear to fierce, informed love with clarity, compassion, and courage. She believes in the magic of connection and that kindness and belonging aren't just a feeling, they're a practice.

We discuss the importance of allowing children to express themselves through costumes, the need for curiosity in parenting, and the value of setting boundaries in relationships. We also touch on the evolution of family traditions and the necessity of reevaluating what works for families as they grow and change. Ultimately, we encourage people to embrace change, explore new experiences, and prioritize authenticity in their lives.

Halloween is a time for kids to explore their identities through costumes.

Parents should encourage curiosity about their children's choices.

Traditions can evolve and should be reevaluated over time.

Setting boundaries in relationships is essential for personal growth.

It's okay to feel grief and sadness when traditions change.

Family gatherings should prioritize open communication and respect for boundaries.

Life is too short to be controlled by others' expectations.

Embracing change can lead to new and fulfilling experiences.

Parents should allow their children to express themselves freely.

The importance of authenticity in family dynamics.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back

01:22 Halloween Traditions and Family Dynamics

04:35 Exploring Identity Through Costumes

10:14 The Importance of Curiosity in Parenting

15:43 Navigating Social Expectations and Personal Growth

22:22 Evolving Family Traditions and Personal Reflections

24:15 Reevaluating Traditions and Relationships

35:18 Empowerment and Setting Boundaries

39:48 Redefining Holiday Gatherings and Traditions

Elliott, aka Secular Rarity, is a secular community builder who has worked with many different organizations over the years. He is the founder and current President of Secular Rising US, a non-profit dedicated to connecting and supporting atheists, humanists, and secular-minded people. He is also a founder of The Conversation Coalition, a monthly gathering where believers and nonbelievers have challenging yet cordial conversations on topics most people avoid.

Site: http://www.secularrisingus.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SecularRisingUS/

Recovering from Religion: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/

Reclaim Your Life, a class on moving forward from religious trauma: https://life-weavings.thinkific.com/products/courses/reclaim-your-life

Everett Uhl - media contacts

Site: Everett Uhl Therapy

Email: [email protected]

Instagram @everettuhltherapy

In this conversation, I interview Everett Uhl, a licensed marriage and family counselor, about her role as a therapist. We discuss the importance of authenticity in therapeutic practices, the need for action-oriented approaches, and some critiques of traditional therapy models, especially in relation to religious influences.

I loved how Everett emphasized the significance of understanding human experiences in context rather than through rigid diagnoses, and of course, I'll always cheer on an advocate for integrating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) into one's practice, with Everett combining it with the Bowen family systems approaches.

A Few Highlights

Authenticity in therapy fosters a genuine connection with clients.

Therapy should empower clients to take action, not just vent.

Understanding context is crucial for accurate diagnoses.

Expectations of therapy should be realistic and not solely focused on validation.

ACT encourages clients to make choices and move forward.

Rigid definitions in Christian counseling can lead to harm.

Secular therapy provides a safe space free from religious judgment.

Therapists should be aware of their biases and dual relationships.

The future of therapy should embrace flexibility and critical thinking.

Chapters

00:00 From Conservation to Counseling: A Journey of Purpose

04:38 Therapeutic Approaches: Authenticity and Action

08:48 The Role of Therapy: Beyond Venting to Empowerment

12:46 Understanding Human Experience: Context Over Diagnosis

17:02 Critiquing Therapy: The Need for Realistic Expectations

21:25 Integrating ACT and Family Systems: A Holistic Approach

25:49 The Impact of Religion in Therapy: A Critical Perspective

30:18 Navigating Secular Therapy: A Personal Commitment

34:41 The Future of Therapy: Moving Beyond Rigid Models

39:24 Conclusion: Embracing Change in Therapeutic Practices

BIO:

Kristen Hornung is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor #2071, offering in-person therapy in Encinitas and virtual therapy throughout California. She holds a Ph.D. in Depth Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute, an M.A. in Counseling from the University of San Diego, and a B.A. in Chemistry from Brown University. She is an EMDR Certified Therapist by EMDRIA. Kristen specializes in helping deep-thinking, over-functioning individuals with anxiety, trauma, and relationship problems.

Therapy website: https://kristenhornung.com/

Author website: https://kghornung.com/

Resources

Steve Ghikadis is a Humanist Officiant, who conducts secular marriages, memorials, and many more meaningful life-affirming celebrations.

He holds a Bachelor of Arts in History and a Bachelor of Education in primary, junior, and intermediate grades.

Raised as a freethinker, Steve has been married to a Christian for over a decade. He and his wife, Cindy, believe in the importance of bridging the gap between believers and non-believers.

Their two young children are being raised in an interfaith household and are free to choose their own path.

He serves as an Ambassador for Humanist Canada, Recovering from Religion, and Sunday Assembly.

In 2024, Steve was awarded the King Charles III Coronation Medal for significant contributions to his community in Windsor/Essex, Ontario, Canada.

Book Description:

Humanism from the Heart by Steve Ghikadis is a heartfelt exploration of what it means to build bridges of understanding in a world divided by conflicting beliefs. Through personal stories and candid reflections, Steve shares his transformative journey—from struggling with religious apathy and growing resentment to embracing secular humanism, a philosophy rooted in empathy, reason, and meaningful connection.

Rafael is a clinical social worker in North Texas. He has experience working with CPS, Psychiatric settings, hospitals, and is currently a Behavioral Health Officer in the Army National Guard. As a former Catholic, religion and apologetics have always been interesting and engaging. After going through his own personal deconversion, Rafa realized how underrepresented the non-believing populations were in finding treatment, community, and care. That's how he ended up joining the Secular Therapist Project.

Rafa can be found at:

Psychology Today:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1311429

Headway:

https://care.headway.co/providers/rafael-zuniga-2?utm_source=pem&utm_medium=direct_link&utm_campaign=83274

Zocdoc:

https://www.zocdoc.com/professional/rafael-antonio-iii-zuniga-lcsw-589214?refPageLoadId=6a01c513-78f3-4934-92d0-13711df68f5b

Casey McFarland, LAPC, NCC. Along with my Master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, I also earned a certificate in Spiritual, Ethical, and Religious Counseling, which gives me a professional framework to deconstruct religious structures that have caused harm.

As a secular therapist, I offer care that honors each person's values without imposing religious frameworks—something especially important for those who've felt unseen or harmed in traditional spaces. At the heart of my work is the belief that healing is possible, that growth comes in many forms, and that we all have the ability to reclaim our lives and move forward with strength and purpose.

Links:

Website- www.coreclarityco.com

FB Page- https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61554031901122

Diagnoses are a frame of reference for looking at behavior, and therefore often limit us to understanding one another and ourselves. When it comes to gun control, the focus on mental health by both sides is accurate, but not for the reason either thinks.

If we want to effect change, then we need to step away from limiting stories about our behavior, and into how we expand a person's flexibility in the face of interpersonal difficulty.

Discussed nature of mental health work, autism, seeing people as wholes rather than parts, and learning to experience life through different understandings of social influence.

Links for Jeff: Twitter: @primalhex

Email: [email protected]

Links for show:

Twitter: @lifeweavings

Humanity's Values

Life Weavings, LLC