Husband and Wifetime

After last week’s foray into “based on” territory, Elizabeth and Matt are right where they want to be: outside of the realms of both reality and plausibility.

In Psycho Wedding Crasher, Jenna (Heather Morris) is a wedding dressmaker who trips and falls right into the arms of Glenn (Jason Cermak). Rom com meet-cute? No, recipe for a great Lifetime movie! Even though Glenn marries Marci (Fiona Vroom), Jenna will stop at nothing to marry him. Sure beats the sophomoric antics of Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson!

Teddy bears! Tackling dummies! Bad portmanteaux! Worse dancing!

The Husband and Wifetime Players return!

Elizabeth makes two Shakespeare references (reaches both) and completely fails to note something explicitly stated in the movie title!

Matt talks relief pitchers and Hawaiian shirts!

In Fatal Honeymoon, Tina Watson (Amber Clayton) and Gabe Watson (Billy Miller) honeymoon in Australia. They go on a scuba dive to view a sunken shipwreck, but only Gabe surfaces. Can Tommy Thomas (Harvey Keitel) unravel the suspicious circumstances of his daughter Tina’s death?

Office jargon! Cap sleeves! Kayaking! Barbecue! Yogurt! Morocco! Bad French!

Elizabeth laments crimes against pizza!

Matt spots a bad egg!

Elizabeth and Matt don’t know scuba words!

In Killer Body (or The Wrong Patient), imitation is the sincerest form of stalking. Liz (Lindsay Maxwell) is obsessed with her former classmate, acclaimed surgeon Dr. Katie Jones (Sunny Mabrey). Liz wants to become Dr. Jones, starting with her face, and woe to anyone who tries to “limit” her.

Finally a villain named Liz!

Aqua! The Supremes! Rem Koolhaas! Owls!

Elizabeth can’t stop won’t stop her many thoughts about set design!

Matt introduces his favorite pharma bro!

Elizabeth refuses to be baited, and Matt doesn’t mention the real Dr. J! Such models of restraint!

Welcome to part two of the “Double” double feature!

In Double Mommy, Jess (Morgan Obenreder) is impregnated by Ryan (Griffin Freeman) and Brent (Mark Grossman).

Will Elizabeth’s high horse remain stabled?

Dickens! Camus! Soccer! Whittendale! More boy bands!

Matt talks produce!

Elizabeth manages to say “heteropaternal superfecundation” several times, but fails to say simple names!

Barbara Kymlicka, the world waits with bated breath for the Davick twins movie!

Welcome to part one of the “Double” double feature!

In Double Daddy, Connor (Cameron Palatas) impregnates virtuous, blond Amanda (Mollee Gray) and evil, brunette Heather (Brittany Curran). (That’s two teen pregnancies for the price of one—Lifetime has really upped its game.) That’ll give his fancy, rich mom (Maeve Quinlan) something to discuss at the vineyard next summer!

Beer bong physics! Boy bands! Murder! Lamaze class! Whittendale!

Elizabeth makes an eleventh hour realization!

Matt says something about red delicious apples that will cut you to your core…but not with a steak knife!

If you think this is a lot, just wait until you hear about Double Mommy…

Happy 2021, friends! Matt and Elizabeth made lots of resolutions for 2021 but clearly brevity wasn’t one of them! In their first episode of the new year, Elizabeth and Matt discuss a movie that will have you questioning all of your fitness resolutions. 

In Blood, Sweat and Lies, personal trainer Trey (Adam Huber) becomes obsessed with Melissa (Hannah Barefoot). Will she date Trey, as suggested by bubbly best friend Leslie (Briana Lane), or will Adam (Matt Cedeño) capture her heart?

Elizabeth makes an odd plea on behalf of the postal service and states a claim about the criminal justice without any evidence, not even a cursory google search!

Matt talks about running!

Elizabeth punishes Matt with an absolute deluge of trivia!

There’s so much to discuss that Elizabeth doesn’t even get into the missing Oxford comma in the title!

In this special bonus episode, Matt Caporaletti and Elizabeth Blickle discuss A Recipe For Seduction, a KFC-sponsored mini-movie that Elizabeth initially dismissed as a joke: “Premieres air at 8pm! Lifetime only airs Christmas movies in December! And November. And half of October.” Oh how wrong she was. But not nearly as wrong as A Recipe For Seduction is.

Elizabeth and Matt fixate on grooming and fashion choices, and the plot, insofar as one could call what happens during the 15 minutes a plot.

Matt makes an historical reference!

Elizabeth makes a bold claim!

Matt tells you something you probably didn’t know about another country!

Spouses Elizabeth Blickle and Matt Caporaletti are back for their second episode, and this time it’s personal! No, really, they have a very personal connection to A Gift-Wrapped Christmas. Watching this snowy confection is their first (and only) holiday tradition, for a surprisingly bloody reason.

In A Gift Wrapped Christmas, personal shopper Gwen (Meredith Hagner) helps her client Charlie Baker (Travis Milne) — widower, single father, Vista Sun Equities powerhouse — buy a suit for his office Christmas party AND discover that there’s more to life than work. But will it be enough to pry him away from his ambitious (gasp!) girlfriend Victoria (Anna Van Hooft)?

Matt says the meanest thing he’s ever said about an eight-year-old. For shame, Matt, for shame.

Elizabeth overuses the word impulse!

Matt goes full Matt over an octopus and Elizabeth waits impatiently to say a bad pun, and then shoehorns it in a second time because it’s Christmas!

In the debut episode of Husband And Wifetime, spouses Elizabeth Blickle and Matt Caporaletti discuss the birth of an obsession. Theirs, with Lifetime movies. Oh, and the obsession of Dr. Albert Beck (Eric Roberts) with his teenaged patient Sophie Green (Brianna Joy Chomer).

Elizabeth and Matt will discuss Stalked By My Doctor, an important part of the (Lifetime) canon. Is it the best (Lifetime) movie of all time? (Fun drinking game: take a sip every time Elizabeth and Matt say “cut to.” They know movie terms.)

Matt and Elizabeth will delight in the this-one-goes-to-eleven levels of acting, camp, and healthy dose of silliness—all the components of a Lifetime classic. They will chat about how Eric Roberts is the hardest working man in show business, dethroning James Brown. They are pretty sure Eric Roberts would have done this podcast if they’d paid him because he seems to say yes to everything. (He was nominated for an Oscar and now he’s on Cameo, you do the math.) And the world is a better place for it.  

They have so much to cram into this episode that they don’t even mention that the final credits list “The Players” not “The Cast” because this is highbrow fare, folks!