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Ben’s movie is the heckin’ best. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Alexis is less than convinced so he can frig off. Walken contests, a few rounds of Real Name/Fake Name, and silly suit ultra-violence abound.
Alexis advises all monkeyboys to laugh while they can. Can Ben possibly learn to appreciate a character actor extravaganza about a rock-n-roll-brain-surgeon-cowboy-rocket-scientist? Possibly!
Ben conducts a misguided experiment on Alexis that fails spectacularly. Turns out that it’s a bad idea to skip the first 19 episodes of a bewildering television show! Eventually, they give up and discuss Prey instead.
Alexis has Ben perform intergalactic espionage when a planet full of deeply unpleasant aliens gets invaded by space utopians. WARNING! This is the TV episode First Contact, not the movie of the same name.
Ben tries in vain to prove to Alexis that verbal twists and turns can be just as entertaining as CGI stunts. He fails. Then Ben writes a self-referential meta-summary of his failure as a metaphor for this movie.
Alexis is enraged by Ben’s stubborn refusal to admit that this CGI extravaganza is the greatest film of all time. The Wachowski belief that corporate interference is a blight on all forms of art is psychoanalyzed thoroughly
Ben has Alexis observe director Mike Flanagan’s audacious use of an X-Men story arc to reconcile modern horror’s most popular author with the genius filmmaker who defiled/perfected The Shining.
Alexis introduces Ben to an adaptation of a scifi novel that would have been an awesome Star Trek prequel. Except that it had the sheer, unmitigated gall to be a sequel Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey instead.
Ben tortures Alexis (and himself) with an uninspired patchwork of inexplicably diabolical electronics, the trendiest murder bar on the lower east side, and employment-themed cenobites galore.
Alexis harasses Ben with Leonard Nimoy’s directorial debut! A film featuring a Klingon muppet dog, a stylish half-cape, and the most fascinating nightlife hotspot ever to appear in the Star Trek universe.
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