Don't Shrink to Fit: Empowering and inspiring women one story at a time.

I always wanted to be the good girl my mom wanted me to be with Claudia Noriega-Bernstein


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This episode is one of the most personal and emotional ones I’ve ever recorded. It’s not just about motherhood, or healing, or family—it’s about my journey of unbecoming the “good girl” I was told I should be, and finally becoming the woman I was always meant to be.

For decades, I tried to earn a kind of love that should have been given freely. I over-gave, over-delivered, and shrank myself to fit into a mold that never truly fit me. I wore the “good girl” costume so well, hoping it would lead to connection, approval, and maybe even pride from the people I loved most. But it never did.

In this episode, I share how going back to old childhood photos triggered a wave of reflection—and how that moment marked the beginning of my healing. I talk about setting boundaries, grieving what could have been, and choosing myself even when it came at a cost.

This conversation is for anyone who’s ever felt like they had to prove their worth, for anyone who’s still learning to believe they are enough, and for anyone trying to become the version of themselves they always needed.

Thank you for listening, for witnessing, and for doing this healing work alongside me. Don’t shrink to fit—ever. The world needs your full light.

Key Takeaways:

  • You don’t have to earn love. Love that is real is given, not negotiated.
  • Setting boundaries with family can be painful, but it’s essential for true healing.
  • Choosing yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary for peace and growth.
  • The roles we take on—daughter, wife, mother—don’t define our worth.
  • Healing often begins with grief: grief for what we never received, and for the version of us that tolerated too much.
  • Becoming the parent you never had is possible—and one of the most empowering things you can do.
  • You are not responsible for others’ inability to love you properly, but you are responsible for how you love yourself moving forward.
  • When you stop shrinking and start showing up fully, you model that strength and self-worth for future generations.

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[email protected] - You can also connect with me on instagram @Claudia_Noriega_Bersntein or visit my website at ClaudiaNoriegaBernstein.com, you will learn about my 1:1 coaching, retreat and training.

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Don't Shrink to Fit: Empowering and inspiring women one story at a time.By Claudia Noriega-Bernstein

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