I Choose The Bear Podcast

Before I left, I wrote — raw, unfiltered entries that I often threw away out of fear he’d find them. In this episode, I’m reading two entries, written when I was still in the marriage but beginning to see the truth.

These are the words of a woman questioning who she is, grieving the life she thought she had, and facing the reality of emotional and mental abuse.

If you’ve ever felt lost in a relationship or unsure of your worth, you may hear your story in mine. You are not alone. There is hope beyond this.

In this first episode of a four-part series, I walk listeners through subtle, often overlooked forms of abuse - specifically psychological abuse, emotional abuse, and coercive control.

Through real-life stories and gentle reflection, I name the quiet, soul-erasing patterns many survivors were taught to normalize.

This episode is for the woman still trying to figure out if it “counts.” And for the friend, mother, or pastor watching someone slowly disappear - and wondering why.

Season 1 Episode 5: But Was It Really Abuse?

I used to say things like, “I don’t know that I was necessarily abused. My marriage was just…hard.” I thought maybe I was being too sensitive. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe it really was my fault.

But then I sat across from a counselor and shared my story, and heard the words I’ll never forget: “You absolutely were abused.”

Have you ever heard of coercive control? It’s the kind of abuse that doesn’t always leave bruises - but it leaves you doubting yourself, walking on eggshells, and slowly disappearing.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Was it really that bad?” - then this episode is for you.

Episode 4: The Other Side of Fear - Caitlin’s Story

Trigger Warning: SA and Physical Abuse

In this powerful episode, I sit down with my dear friend Caitlin as she bravely shares her story of surviving physical abuse and SA. What she endured behind closed doors was heartbreaking, but the courage it took to break free and start over is nothing short of heroic.

Caitlin’s journey is raw, honest, and deeply moving. It’s a story of fear, silence, survival…and ultimately, strength. She didn’t just make it out - she’s building something beautiful on the other side.

Whether you’re in the midst of something hard or walking with someone who is, this episode is a reminder: you are not alone and there is life after abuse.

Resources for support are listed below.

Please listen with care.

National Domestic Violence Hotline:

800-799-7233

Website:

https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence

Office on Violence Against Women

US Department of Justice

https://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence

https://www.domesticshelters.org

[email protected]

Health and What My Body Remembers

Some wounds don’t leave bruises.

Some memories still make your chest tighten.

This week, I talk about the pain I carried alone—

the health scares, the silence,

and the ache of being asked

“What are you doing to cause it?”

If you’ve ever had to be strong when no one stood beside you,

this episode is for you.

You’re not weak.

You’re not to blame.

You’re not alone.

Episode 2: The Chaos, The Grief, The Courage It Takes to Leave

At first, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t overreacting.

I started reading, reaching out, quietly asking myself, Is this abuse?

In this episode, I take you into the part of my story that’s hardest to tell—the part where everything looks like it’s falling apart, but something stronger is quietly rising inside of me.

You’ll hear about the moment I told him I wanted to separate, the twisted ways he tried to reclaim control, and how even as I started to breathe again, the manipulation didn’t stop.

You’ll hear about the letter I wrote.

The chaos of separation.

The unbearable grief of walking away from a life I built—and the courage to do it anyway.

Because I wasn’t just leaving a marriage.

I was choosing to break a cycle.

For my kids. For myself.

Even when it felt like it might kill me.

This is a story of choosing truth when lies are louder.

Of choosing peace when the world calls you dramatic.

Of choosing to survive—even if it means starting over in ashes.

🎧 Listen now. You’re not alone.

What if the person you loved the most was also the one who made you feel the smallest?

In this first episode, I share about the day that cracked open the truth about my marriage and the book that helped me finally name what I was living through: abuse

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it really that bad?” Or told yourself, “But he’s not always like this…” then this episode is for you.

You are not alone. And this may just be the day you start to see it too.

Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and remember:

You are not crazy. You are not weak. You are waking up. And that’s the bravest thing you can do.

I Choose the Bear Podcast is about facing it. It’s about rising from betrayal, reclaiming our worth, and becoming the strongest version of ourselves - whether anyone else chooses us or not.

I chose the bear…because I’ve walked through fire and still came out standing.

Because I’m done shrinking.

Because I am strong.

I am worthy.

And I still believe in love that sees me, values me, and chooses me fully.

If you’re healing from abuse, heartbreak, or anything that made you forget your power - this space is for you.

You don’t have to stay silent.

You don’t have to stay small.

You get to rise.

Welcome to I Choose the Bear Podcast.