I Hate It, Let’s Watch It

In the wise, immortal and paraphrased words of Julien, Rome wasn't built in a day but it took Emily basically that long to destroy it. Although, to be fair, she had some help. Luc and his casual womanizing ways sink the Bavazza account, and newcomer Princess Gianna puts Solitano a little too much on the map and, with an assist from "precious genius" Giancarlo, ruins the company's future with Muratori. Marcello finally reveals HIS true colors (they are not nice), and with all this going on, we could not agree more that it is time to beat a hasty retreat to Paris before Genevieve manages to set what's left of the office on fire.

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We're back! We could never leave you, our precious listeners, to go through the trauma of a fifth season of Emily in Paris alone, so we have ended our hiatus and begun our glorious return to the airwaves to help you process this garbage. We are off to a bit of a slow start here in Season 5 with mostly recycled plotlines and yawn-worthy relationship drama, but we do see some storm clouds on the horizon (looking at you, Genevieve) so stick with us and we can weather it all together!

Thank you for your patience over the past year! While we do hate Emily, we love doing this podcast for you all, and we are so glad to be back.

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You've heard us talk about it hundreds of times across our nearly 200 episodes. We have yet to find a movie that can top it. We've begged you to go back and listen to this episode, and now it's at the top of your feed so you have no excuse. IT'S KILLER SOFA! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll cry from laughing! If you love everything our podcast stands for, you will love this movie and this episode. It brings us great joy to share it with you all again.

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If you thought this year's Super Bowl was boring, we challenge you to endure the 99 minutes of Sidelined: The QB & Me and then come talk to us. Formulaic, cheesy, and completely devoid of any real conflict, this fumble of a film misses the mark in every direction. (Shout outs to Drew Ray Tanner and James Van Der Beek for being our only salvation.) Tubi, we beg you, please stop making movies out of Wattpad fanfiction.

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We dug up a hidden gem for y'all this week. The Estate is a surprisingly successful black comedy with brilliant acting and scriptwriting, and it is a refreshing change of pace from our usual fare. A famous face here and there adds a bit of spice, and the third act plot twist will both delight and astonish you. Can't recommend enough that you all check this one out!

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We have to admit -- it takes a very creative mind to work excessive violence, S&M kink, and Elon Musk into a Cinderella story. But we also must ask the question, just because it can be done, does that mean it should be done? No. Unequivocally no. We're back to our regularly scheduled nonsense this week with Cinderella's Revenge, and while we weren't exactly impressed, it was a vast improvement over mega-snoozefest that was Megalopolis.

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Of all the bullets we've taken for you, our precious listeners, this one has to be the biggest. Megalopolis promised A LOT and delivered...moving sidewalks. A star-studded cast and critically acclaimed director could not save this pretentious exercise of elitism from its own inaccessibility, and we learned that lesson repeatedly over the 138-minute run time. Save yourselves -- listen to our recap, if not simply so that our sacrifice was not made in vain.

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Very few podcasts would dare to touch the controversial topics we cover in this episode, such as robot fluids, the line between infidelity and sex toys, and how anyone thought "Nick" was the appropriate name for Italian Stallion, Michele Morrone. We gave Megan Fox one more chance to change our minds, and even though we found her performance as an emotionless robot more believable than her other human characters, the whole movie falls flat in the wake of several other films and tv shows that have already done this premise and done it way better. Starting 2025 off strong with this one!

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Our search for Megan Fox's redemption continues! We're giving her as many chances as we can, including this 2021 horror/action flick, which didn't quite hit the mark but was a vast improvement over Midnight in the Switchgrass. If you think it's not cold enough outside these days (hello, polar vortex), check out our episode on Till Death, which will have you questioning exactly how much hypothermia a person can survive.

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What better way to welcome the next 365 days on this planet than with a movie that can generously be described as a gratuitous sex montage? We are manifesting all things steamy and sexy for 2025, so buckle up for a new year of hate-watch movies with your favorite podcast girlies!

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