I Have Some Questions...

This episode is meant to challenge you. Erik takes on the lazy, surface-level claim of “I lead by example” and unpacks why it’s an insufficient leadership philosophy. He shares his own hard-learned lessons, what went wrong when he tried to evolve past it without clear communication, and why every leader needs a sharper articulation of their philosophy.

❓ The Big Question

What does it really take to move beyond “leading by example” and step fully into the responsibility of leadership?

💡 Key Takeaways

• “Leading by example” is table stakes — not the whole game.
• If your people only see your hours or outcomes, they’ll miss the process and discipline that created them.
• Leaders who only model their own way risk creating clones instead of unlocking unique strengths.
• A real leadership philosophy requires clarity: knowing your people, aligning goals, setting expectations, and holding them accountable.
• Articulating your philosophy out loud makes it easier to live it.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• Table Stakes vs. True Leadership — Why leading by example is necessary but insufficient.
• Alignment Model — Helping people connect their personal goals with organizational needs.
• Accountability Loop — Expectations, support, feedback, and trust.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Erik shares the story of when he pulled back from meetings to develop his team — and how poor communication caused trust to suffer.
• By naming and clarifying his philosophy, he now has a mirror to measure himself against, instead of hiding behind the “example” excuse.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• Write down your leadership philosophy in one clear statement.
• Share it with your team, peers, or boss.
• Use it as a daily check-in: Am I living this philosophy today?

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

• “Stop saying you lead by example. It’s laziness. It’s virtue signaling disguised as depth.”
• “Excellent leaders don’t want clones of themselves — they want to unlock the potential of their people.”
• “Your job as a leader is to align, develop, and hold accountable — not just to work hard in front of others.”

After sitting down with Jake Stahl, Erik reflects on the biggest insights from their conversation about neuro-strategy, influence, and the subtle ways leaders can shape trust. He pulls forward Jake’s key practices and maps them onto his own curiosity-driven approach to leadership and coaching.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

• Preparation shapes influence: First impressions begin long before the first handshake or Zoom call—your digital presence and prep work matter.
• Ask for input as a gift: Seeking advice or perspective triggers the same positive biological response as giving someone a treat.
• Paraphrasing as mastery: Advanced validation means not just repeating what someone said, but adding an empathetic inference that deepens connection.
• Avoid “Why?” in conversations: While powerful internally, asking “why” often provokes defensiveness in dialogue.

🧩 The Personal Layer

• Erik imagines treating every interaction like handing someone a brownie—a playful but profound metaphor for leaving people feeling valued.
• He notices how much Jake’s methods align with the ethos of I Have Some Questions—that the right framing of curiosity can transform any exchange.
• The idea that “why” can shut people down made Erik rethink his own instinctive questioning style.

🧰 From Insight to Action

• Audit your LinkedIn profile or digital footprint—what impression are you creating before you even meet someone?
• In your next conversation, ask for help or input as a way to build trust.
• Practice paraphrasing with inference: go one step deeper than what’s said.
• Swap “why” questions for validating restatements that move dialogue forward.

 🗣️ Notable Quotes

• “Every person you meet should feel like you just gave them a brownie.” – Erik’s reflection on Jake’s insight
• “First impressions are built before the first words are spoken.” – Erik
• “The power of a question isn’t always in the question—it’s in how you reframe what you’ve already heard.” – Erik

In this conversation, Erik sits down with Jake Stahl, CEO of Orchestraight, to dig into the nuances of adaptability, trust, and leading with presence. From reframing how we think about time to building spaces where people feel seen, Jake offers a refreshingly human approach to leadership growth.

👤 About the Guest

Jake Stahl is the CEO of Orchestraight, a consultant, and a coach who helps organizations unlock adaptability through people-centered learning and leadership. With a background spanning corporate training, coaching, and systems thinking, Jake’s mission is to create environments where leaders and teams thrive by aligning purpose with practice.

🧭 Conversation Highlights

• Why adaptability—not rigid planning—is the defining skill of modern leaders.
• How trust is built less through grand gestures and more through consistent presence.
• The difference between managing time and stewarding energy.
• Why psychological safety is a precursor to performance.
• Jake’s own path from structured environments into the dynamic space of leadership development.

💡 Key Takeaways

• Adaptability is not about being reactive, but about holding shape while flexing.
• Leadership presence means showing up consistently in ways that build trust.
• Coaching leaders isn’t about fixing—it’s about creating space for reflection and choice.
• Growth happens at the edge of discomfort, not in the safety of autopilot.
• Effective leaders are translators: they make complexity accessible to their teams.

❓ Questions That Mattered

• What does it mean to lead with adaptability instead of rigidity?
• How can leaders create trust without overengineering it?
• In what ways is time management overrated compared to energy management?
• What role does psychological safety play in unlocking team performance?
• How can CEOs reimagine leadership to help organizations learn and adapt?

🗣️ Notable Quotes

• “Adaptability isn’t about throwing out the plan—it’s about knowing when to hold it lightly.” – Jake Stahl
• “Trust is built in the everyday moments, not the big events.” – Jake Stahl
• “Leadership is less about controlling outcomes and more about creating the conditions where people can thrive.” – Jake Stahl
• “When leaders translate complexity into clarity, they give people the gift of focus.” – Erik Berglund

🔗 Links & Resources

• Connect with Jake on LinkedIn
• Check out Jake's company, Orchestraight
• Stay on the lookout for Jake's new book: Own The Room - From Invisibility to Unforgettable

Erik unpacks the art and science of giving feedback that doesn’t just land—but transforms. Drawing from leadership trenches, he challenges the old “feedback sandwich” cliché and lays out a sharper, more human way to communicate with clarity, care, and conviction.

❓ The Big Question

How do you give feedback that someone can truly hear—without defensiveness, confusion, or dismissal—and actually use it to grow?

💡 Key Takeaways

• Feedback fails when it’s vague, sugarcoated, or disconnected from reality.
• The goal isn’t to deliver feedback—it’s to create change.
• Specificity and timing matter more than frequency.
• Feedback is relational—it’s not a monologue, it’s a conversation.
• Courage + clarity = feedback people act on.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• The Feedback Sandwich Trap: Why padding critique with empty praise backfires.
• Signal vs. Noise: Distinguishing what’s truly actionable from emotional clutter.
• The Clarity Curve: The sharper your message, the quicker the change.
• Feedback as Coaching: Shifting from “I’m judging you” to “I’m in it with you.”

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Times when leaders thought they were being “kind” but actually created confusion.
• Moments where one direct, well-timed comment changed an entire career trajectory.
• How Erik himself has had to learn to say the thing out loud even when it’s uncomfortable.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• Drop the “feedback sandwich.” Say the real thing with care.
• Anchor your feedback in observable behavior, not assumptions about intent.
• Ask yourself: What outcome do I want from this feedback?
• Invite dialogue—feedback should spark reflection, not just compliance.
• Follow up—growth is a process, not a one-off comment.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

• “Feedback is not about making yourself feel good for saying it. It’s about the other person being able to use it.”
• “Clarity is kindness. Vagueness is not compassion—it’s avoidance.”
• “If you can’t say it clearly, you haven’t thought it through enough.”

Coming off an intense, vulnerable conversation with Troy Karnes, Erik reflects on what it means to be trained to be human — and how most of us simply haven’t been. This episode is less a summary and more a reckoning: with parenting, leadership, addiction, loneliness, and the self-sabotaging decisions we make when we’re just trying to survive.

Troy’s story — addiction, family fracture, and a surreal cancer diagnosis that upended everything — becomes the frame for a much broader conversation about what we’re actually equipped for. Erik doesn’t just admire Troy’s courage; he uses it as a mirror, and invites listeners to do the same.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

• We’ve been trained to perform, not to feel. Most of us were never taught how to notice the basic emotional and physical needs that drive our worst behavior.
• HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) explains more than you think. These four states are the root of so many decisions we regret — and few of us were ever given tools to see them clearly.
• You can get ahead of failure. With simple tactics like 10-minute calls to friends or basic meal planning, we can proactively reduce the risk of spiraling.
• Parenting without training is scary — and that’s okay. Erik names his fear: he wants to be a great dad, but no one trained him for this either. Still, he’s learning — and sharing the journey.
• Most people don’t need more motivation — they need better preparation. Troy’s practical wisdom isn’t hype. It’s tactical, sober, and empowering.

🧩 The Personal Layer

This episode is full of honest questions Erik is asking himself in real time. Questions about being a good parent, being an available friend, being someone who actually models emotional maturity — not just talks about it.

There’s no preaching here, just practice. Erik shares where he falls short, how he plans to do better, and why Troy’s voice is one more men — and leaders — need to hear. It’s also a reflection on what’s missing in Western culture: frameworks for emotional survival, not just success.

🧰 From Insight to Action

• Use the HALT Check-In. Before you lash out, numb out, or zone out — ask yourself if you're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.
• Build a Call List. Make a group on your phone with people you want to hear from. Call one person every day for 10 minutes.
• Create off-ramps. Nervous to leave a voicemail? Troy’s tip: have a graceful exit line ready so you don’t talk yourself out of connection.
• Train your kids in what you weren’t taught. Teach them to notice their feelings early, and design habits to manage them.

🗣️ Notable Quotes

🔗 Links & Resources

• Visit Troy’s website troykarnes.com
• Find Troy’s book “No Silver Bullets” on Amazon here

In this raw and revealing conversation, Erik sits down with entrepreneur and systems thinker Troy Karnes to explore what happens when your ambition starts to burn you out — and how to rebuild from the inside out. They dig into the identity loops that trap high performers, the hard cost of playing it safe, and what it means to take control of your own narrative when life no longer fits the script.

👤 About the Guest

Troy Karnes is a performance-driven entrepreneur and coach who has worked across industries — from real estate to systems architecture — helping people build better companies and more authentic lives. Known for his sharp insight, radical candor, and lived experience in transformation, Troy brings a level of clarity and courage to the leadership conversation that’s refreshingly rare.

🧭 Conversation Highlights

• Troy’s story of walking away from the house, the job, and the life that no longer aligned
• Why performance identity feels safe — but keeps you stuck
• The hard-earned shift from “success metrics” to “alignment metrics”
• Learning to trust your intuition before it costs too much to ignore it
• What happens when you stop trying to build faster and start asking better questions

💡 Key Takeaways

• Numbing out is not neutral. When you avoid the discomfort of misalignment, you stay stuck in roles that aren’t yours.
• Control is an illusion. The goal isn’t to control outcomes — it’s to own your input and make peace with uncertainty.
• Saying no is an identity decision. Every "no" is an opportunity to clarify who you actually are.
• Performance is a shield. But behind every over-performer is someone afraid of what happens when they slow down.
• True ambition requires honesty. Not just with others — with yourself.

❓ Questions That Mattered

• Where did the identity you were living come from — and how did you know it was time to rewrite it?
• What do you think most high performers are actually afraid of?
• What role has faith or spirituality played in your leadership journey?
• How do you discern between a real “no” and fear in disguise?

🗣️ Notable Quotes

🔗 Links & Resources

• Visit Troy’s website troykarnes.com
• Find Troy’s book “No Silver Bullets” on Amazon here

In this episode, Erik breaks down how to earn trust, build consensus, and handle the uncomfortable conversations that come with stepping into leadership when the room isn’t exactly rooting for you.

❓ The Big Question

How do you earn trust and lead effectively when your team believes someone else should have gotten your job?

💡 Key Takeaways

• You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you got promoted—stop trying to justify it.
• Trust is earned daily, not given with the title.
• Ideas are easy; execution with people is the hard part.
• Building consensus doesn’t mean everyone agrees—it means people feel heard.
• Difficult conversations get easier when you’ve agreed upfront on “rules of engagement.”

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• Earn, Don’t Explain → Drop the impulse to validate why you were chosen.
• Consensus vs. Compliance → Build buy-in by involving people early.
• Rules of Engagement → Ask your team how they want feedback, accountability, and tough conversations handled.
• Celebrate, Then Lead → Recognize the win, but quickly shift to responsibility.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Erik shares the painful mistake he made after his own promotion—spending years trying to prove he was the right choice instead of simply leading.
• A story of a CEO who won long-term trust by listening for months before making changes.
• A reminder that it’s never too late, even if you’ve been in the role for years, to go back and ask your team the questions that establish trust.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• Schedule one conversation this week to ask a direct report:
  • What’s working for you here?
  • What’s not working?
  • How do you prefer to receive feedback?
  • How do you want to be held accountable?
• Pick one difficult conversation you know is coming. Use the “rules of engagement” to frame it.
• If you’ve been leading for a while, re-open the door with a simple apology: “I should have asked you these things earlier. Can I ask them now?”

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

• “You don’t owe anybody an answer—you literally didn’t hire yourself.”
• “The ideas are simple. The hard part is leading people to execute those ideas.”
• “Consensus isn’t about everyone agreeing—it’s about everyone feeling heard.”
• “Trust is earned when people see their input mattered, even if the final decision wasn’t theirs.”

Losing a top performer is brutal—and often preventable. In this episode, Erik goes beyond the cliché of “people don’t leave companies, they leave managers” to unpack the real reasons your best people walk out the door. He reveals three leadership moves that will keep your rock stars engaged, growing, and aligned—without relying on promotions, titles, or raises.

❓ The Big Question

What can you do as a leader to stop losing your best people—even if you can’t offer them more money or a bigger title?

💡 Key Takeaways

• Top performers leave when you coddle underperformers.
• Your best talent wants accountability, not a free pass.
• Holding even your A-players accountable fuels their growth.
• Most people work to live, not live to work—find alignment with that truth.
• Skills, experiences, and responsibilities are the three levers that make alignment stick.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• Coddling Underperformers → Driving your best people out by lowering the standard.
• Accountability for A-Players → Challenging high performers so they keep growing.
• The Alignment Triad → Skills, experiences, and responsibilities as the three forces that tie work to life goals.
• Facilitator vs. Leader → Negotiating perks isn’t leadership; creating growth and alignment is.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Erik recalls losing three rock stars (Jason, Anthony, and Michael) because he didn’t know how to pull these levers.
• Most leaders default to promotions, raises, or titles they can’t give—missing the leadership moves they can.
• When high performers feel stagnant or surrounded by mediocrity, they disengage—or leave.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

1. Stop coddling underperformers—raise the bar for everyone.
2. Hold your top performers accountable to their next level, not just the team’s current level.
3. Ask three alignment questions:
   • What skills are you trying to develop?
   • What experiences do you want more (or less) of?
   • What responsibilities would you like to own?
4. Connect their current work to these answers—and watch retention soar.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

“The best talent wants to be around the best talent.”

“If your rock stars are only giving 80%, you’ve already lost them.”

“Top performers don’t avoid accountability—they crave it.”

“Most people don’t live to work; they work to live.”

“Leadership is about creating alignment, not just negotiating perks.”

Check-ins are killing your calendar. In this episode, Erik breaks down why endless reminders are actually a symptom of low confidence and poor expectation-setting—and he teaches a simple leadership “play” that flips the script. Instead of you chasing progress updates, your team will push you the information you need—freeing up your time, building accountability, and strengthening trust.

❓ The Big Question

What if you could eliminate 80% of your check-ins and still have full confidence that the work is getting done?

💡 Key Takeaways

• Most check-ins are rooted in lack of confidence—either yours or theirs.
• Telling someone what to do creates dependence; having them tell you creates accountability.
• Check-ins aren’t about progress—they’re about reassurance.
• The right system flips responsibility back onto the person doing the work.
• When leaders stop chasing updates, they reclaim time and build trust.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• Confidence vs. Check-Ins → Your need to check in is usually a sign of shaky confidence.
• Expectation-Setting Game → Don’t tell; ask them to articulate their plan and timeline.
• Push vs. Pull Communication → Move from chasing updates (pull) to receiving them automatically (push).
• Calendar Hack → Put the expectation in their calendar—and yours—as a self-triggered accountability system.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• The “reminder monster” in your calendar probably has a name—what if you flipped that relationship?
• This approach has been tested with thousands of leaders and eliminates ~80% of check-ins.
• When people state their own commitments and log them, they are psychologically more likely to follow through.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

1. Identify one person who dominates your check-in calendar.
2. Next time, don’t set a check-in—have them set the reminder in both of your calendars.
3. Ask: What progress should you expect to have made by then?
4. Have them block time in their calendar with the title: “[Name] to update [Leader] on [specific milestone].”
5. Watch as updates come to you—without you ever having to chase.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

“Confidence and the check-in are two sides of the same coin.”

“The game isn’t telling them what to do—it’s getting them to tell you.”

“Stop pulling for updates. Build a system where they push you the information.”

“This one hack eliminates about 80% of reminders and check-ins.”

“Everybody wins when you run this play: you gain time, they gain trust, and the work gets done.”

In this solo episode, Erik tackles one of the most common—and most misunderstood—questions leaders and high-achievers ask: How do I make more time? Instead of chasing productivity hacks, he offers two practical tools to get clear on what really matters and what can wait. The episode blends strategic thinking with real-life examples, helping listeners stop defaulting to “more hours” and start aligning with what truly moves them forward.

❓ The Big Question

If you can’t actually make more hours in the day, how do you decide what to work on—and what to let go of—so your time aligns with your ideal life?

💡 Key Takeaways

• More hours won’t solve unclear priorities—you’d just fill them with more noise.
• Clarity beats efficiency: Know what you should be working on before optimizing how you work.
• The Personal Navigation System helps you map your “ideal life” and measure choices against it.
• Recognizing life’s seasons allows you to adjust priorities without guilt.
• Short-term focus + long-term vision keeps you productive and fulfilled.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• The Personal Navigation System (from Keith Rosen’s Own Your Day): 
  1. List the key categories of your life.
  2. Under each, write present-tense bullet points describing your ideal life.
  3. Socialize with your partner; review regularly.
• What Needs to Be True Exercise: 
  1. Identify your current “season” of life.
  2. Set a date for the season’s end.
  3. List the non-negotiables that must be true by then for you to feel good about it.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Erik’s summer chaos: running two businesses in three days a week while being a full-time dad on Mondays and Tuesdays.
• Embracing that this season was meant for heart fulfillment, not peak productivity.
• Training successors in one business to free up time for the other.
• Using “What Needs to Be True” to finish the season without regret.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

1. Block one hour this week to write your Ideal Life document.
2. Share it with a partner, friend, or mentor for alignment and accountability.
3. Identify your current season—and what must be true by its end.
4. Review both exercises twice a year to realign and recalibrate.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

“If I gave you a 25th hour in the day, you’d probably screw that up too.” Erik

“There’s no efficient way to work on something you shouldn’t be working on.” Erik

“When you’re in charge, take charge. When you’re not, stop trying to take charge.” Erik

“The worst outcome is coming out of a season having neither enjoyed it nor prepared for the next one.” Erik