What do you think marriage is supposed to look like—and how much of that belief came from your family, church, movies, social media, or relationships you watched growing up?

After 17 years of marriage, Terrell and Brooke look back at what they thought marriage would be versus what marriage has actually required from them.

From fairy-tale expectations and ideas about soulmates to conflict, parenting, intimacy, individuality, communication, and personal growth, this conversation explores what happens when two people realize that marriage isn’t about staying the same—it’s about learning how to grow alongside someone who is changing too.

We also discuss:

* Whether we would swipe right on each other if we met today

* Where our original ideas about marriage came from

* The marriage expectations that quickly disappeared

* Equality versus equity in a relationship

* How being opposites has affected our marriage

* How marriage can become a space for personal growth

* Learning to communicate needs without resentment

* How parenting exposes differences you didn’t know existed

* Why your spouse may become a completely different person over time

* Maintaining your individuality while building a life together

* Why arguments don’t necessarily mean your relationship is failing

* Understanding triggers and conflict styles

* Therapy, communication, intimacy, friendship, and support systems

* Why long-term relationships require flexibility

* The importance of intentionally having fun together

* Creating shared goals instead of simply existing together

One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned is that the person you marry may not be the same person you’re married to 10, 20, or 30 years later.

Life changes people.

Marriage requires deciding whether you’re willing to keep learning each new version of your spouse—and allowing them to learn each new version of you.

So we want to know:

What has marriage or a long-term relationship taught you that nobody prepared you for?

Are we actually more informed than ever — or just more overwhelmed?

In this episode of I Say All That To Say, Terrell and Brooke dig into how technology is reshaping their marriage, their parenting, and their ability to focus. It starts with a simple question — why do we need information so fast? — and unfolds into a real conversation about phubbing during dinner, screen-time rules for their 10-year-old, dopamine and instant gratification, gamified education, and whether "deep work" is even possible anymore in an AI-driven world.

Brooke pushes Terrell (a 26-year IT veteran) on why speed and efficiency matter so much to him, and the conversation opens up into what tech has quietly replaced in their relationship — real conversation, undistracted date nights, and patience. They also get honest about parenting in a world with 24-hour cartoons, tablets that "win" for you, and kids who've never had to wait for anything.

By the end, they land on a shared idea: technology was supposed to be a tool, not a crutch — and the fix isn't quitting tech, it's being intentional about when and why they use it.

We also discuss:

• The last time either of them went a full day without checking their phone
• How phones have quietly become "the new television"
• Setting boundaries around devices during meals and date nights
• Screen-time rules for their son and the "countdown" transition trick
• Why kids raised on instant gratification may struggle with real-world patience
• Schools replacing textbooks with gamified, tablet-based learning
• Cal Newport's "Deep Work" and whether AI is making it disappear entirely
• What it actually looks like to model deep focus and patience at home

This isn't about ditching technology — it's about noticing what it's quietly costing you, and deciding on purpose what you want it to cost.

👉 What are you doing to unplug and actually connect with your family or friends? Drop it in the comments — we want to hear it.

🎙️ Watch, like, comment, and subscribe for new episodes of I Say All That To Say.

#ISayAllThatToSayPodcast #TechAndRelationships #MarriagePodcast #ParentingInTheDigitalAge #DeepWork #ScreenTime #DigitalDetox #CouplesPodcast #InformationOverload #MindfulParenting

Would You Marry Someone Who Makes Half Your Income? | Marriage, Money, Gender Roles & Financial Expectations

In Episode 4 of I Say All That To Say, Terrell and Brooke ask a question that sounds simple until it becomes real:

Would you marry someone who makes half your income?

This conversation goes beyond salary. Terrell and Brooke discuss income gaps in marriage, women becoming primary breadwinners, gender roles, ambition, attraction, divorce, household responsibilities, financial decision-making, and the money conversations couples need to have before marriage.

They also unpack whether the answer changes depending on age, gender, life stage, emotional support, and whether love is enough when the financial reality gets difficult.

In this episode, we discuss:

Would you marry someone who makes half your income?

Does your answer change if the man or woman makes less?

Are women becoming the financial leaders in more households?

Does income affect attraction?

Is ambition more important than current salary?

Should couples disclose salaries and debt before engagement?

Should the person who earns more make the financial decisions?

How should couples divide housework when one person earns more?

Can resentment build when one spouse carries more of the burden?

Is love enough without financial compatibility?

This conversation is about more than money. It is about expectations, ego, partnership, honesty, and the real conversations that can make or break a marriage.

How would you answer the question?

Would you marry someone who makes half your income?

Like, comment, subscribe, and check out I Say All That To Say wherever you listen to podcasts.

In Episode 3 of I Say All That To Say, Terrell and Brooke take on one of the most controversial questions couples can ask:

Is marriage just a financial contract in disguise?

What begins as a discussion about the historical purpose of marriage quickly turns into a lively debate about love, legal benefits, money, parenting, gender roles, and what really keeps a marriage together over the long term.

Then Terrell makes a bold statement that changes the entire conversation:

"You can't be broke and married."

Is financial stability necessary for a successful marriage? Is love enough to sustain a relationship? Would people still get married if there were no tax advantages, inheritance rights, or legal protections? And should marriages operate more like successful businesses?

We also discuss:

• Whether marriage is primarily about love, commitment, or financial security • Arranged marriages and the historical purpose of marriage • Would you still get married if there were no legal benefits? • Remarrying after the death of a spouse • Whether successful marriages should function like successful businesses • Division of labor, emotional labor, and parenting responsibilities • Why couples disagree about chores and household expectations • The role finances play in marital conflict • Separate accounts, joint accounts, and allowance systems for married couples • If investment gains and lottery winnings should be shared in a marriage

This episode isn't about deciding who is right. It's about exploring the difficult conversations many couples avoid and discovering how our beliefs about money and relationships shape the way we love.

Can two broke people build a successful marriage?

Let us know in the comments.

👇 Join the conversation: Would you marry someone if there were no legal benefits attached to marriage? Do successful marriages operate more like families or businesses? Should married couples have separate spending accounts?

In Episode 2 of I Say All That To Say, Terrell and Brooke tackle a question that affects all of us: How far would you go to get ahead?

What starts as a discussion about the controversy surrounding relationship coach and media personality Dr. Cheyenne Bryant quickly evolves into a deeper conversation about ethics, credentials, business, capitalism, and the choices people make in pursuit of success.

Is bending the truth ever justified if it helps you achieve your goals?

Can you be both successful and ethical in a capitalist society?

And what lessons should we be teaching our children about ambition, integrity, and risk?

We also discuss:

The difference between coaching and licensed mental health professions

Why titles and credentials matter

Capitalism, wealth, and the pursuit of success

Whether public schools are creating workers or independent thinkers

Teaching our son about investing, entrepreneurship, and critical thinking

The importance of understanding risk and consequences

How parents can prepare children for a rapidly changing world

This episode is less about having all the answers and more about asking the difficult questions that many people avoid. How far would you go to get ahead? Let us know in the comments.

👇 Join the conversation: Would you ever bend the rules to achieve success? What lessons are you teaching your children about money, ethics, and ambition?

🎙️ Podcast: I Say All That To Say

👥 Hosts: Brooke & Terrell Harris

👍 Like, Comment, and Subscribe

In our pilot episode, we discuss how a job almost made us call it quits on our marriage, what tools we used to help us get back on track, and what we learned along the way. Watch as we get raw and have a real conversation about it.