I Suck (at Smalltalk)

Liz and I have been friends since our high school days, and even when I faced tough times during my one month work stint in Doha, Elisa was my source of happiness and support. Join us for a candid and personal conversation about the challenges of moving and living abroad while working as a flight attendant.

Podcast Transcript

Hello!

Hello!

Welcome to I Suck at Small Talk Podcast!

I'm Janine and you have to forgive my konyo accent on this episode because it comes out when I talk to my guest today, my twin, Elisa Benitez!

So I call Liz my twin because in high school we had a teacher that couldn't even tell us apart to the point that Elisa passed by outside our classroom and he saw her and then he looked inside the classroom and saw me and was like so shocked like how the hell did you did you do that and I was like what?

And yeah, lots of like twin stories with Liz.

But today, I wanna talk to her about the time that she moved to Doha.

Doha!

To be a flight attendant.

And the reason why I really wanna get Liz's perspective on moving away from the Philippines is because unlike a lot of other people that just stay where they go, she chose to move back to Manila.

And I remember her being so excited about it and I wanna know why.

So thanks so much for doing this, Liz.

To kick things off,

Just like a background, kasi I don't know this story.

Like what made you dream to be a flight attendant?

And what was it that really pushed you to go for this dream?

Because, I mean, you have to clean so many toilets in the process, right?

Yes.

A lot of people think that being a flight attendant is a glamorous job.

And in a way it is because you get to stay in five-star hotels all over the world for free.

But it is a customer service job and yes, you are always, the customer is always right.

So whatever they want, you give it to them.

If they decide to get drunk,

And throw up, you have to clean up after them because you're taking care of them in the sky.

But yeah, going back to the free travel.

When I was younger, I played a lot of football and that opened the doors to free travel.

And I always knew that, you know, once football is over, I want to continue traveling.

For free, you know, it's expensive.

And so, you know, my mom and my stepdad encouraged me to apply for the airlines, give it a shot.

And so, yeah, one day after graduation, my stepdad gave me the card of Cebu Pacific.

They were hiring flight attendants.

And he said, go for it.

The rest is history!

Was it tough though?

Sorry, was it tough to get the job?

Because I know there are a lot of people that apply, right?

Yeah, so when you apply for the flight attendant position, you're up against hundreds of girls and sometimes even thousands.

But it's

You know, just be yourself and if it's meant for you, you will get it.

They do brief you on the usual questions and answers which is like, why do you want to be a flight attendant?

Oh, because I love to travel and I like meeting new people.

Shocks, Lizzie, you know?

Oh my God, my voice.

Because it's morning.

But parang there was a time that I considered applying to be a flight attendant.

Yeah!

Yeah!

I just realized now!

Because, like, I also wanted to travel and my mom was like, like, why don't you just be a flight attendant?

And my mom was always pushing me to, like, you know, do TV commercials and all that prim and proper.

stuff so beautiful i thought thank you i thought about it and parang i don't know i think i tried once but i never even passed the application

application process so if you try and you don't make it don't worry guys there are other jobs out there that let you travel and i found them stumbling on those but yeah like i'm thankful that i didn't because i think i would have like i don't know punched someone in the face instead

I have no patience okay so you did Cebu pack and then you made it to Doha Qatar Airways which is like one of the top airlines but then you had to like move to Doha and everything and it's

Yes, it was my first time to live away from home

But luckily, the company that I work for were very supportive and encouraging.

They also made sure to educate us on what to expect, what to think, what the weather's gonna be like, what the people are gonna be like.

They even educated us on the traditions, the culture, the rules to follow, you know, to sort of help us, you know, it's necessary to learn.

So that we could be respectful.

Again, it's a very conservative culture.

They're Muslim.

They're very prayerful.

They separate the men and women a lot.

Even the way that we dress, we always have to cover our shoulders, cover our knees.

During Ramadan, we also have to respect the rules.

Yeah, you can't eat in public, right?

You have to eat in the bathroom or something.

Well, yeah, bathroom if you're outdoors, but otherwise just at home, in the privacy of your home.

So, yeah, it was a big adjustment and it was a bit scary, but

The company was very supportive and another good thing was the people that you meet, you know, you meet your colleagues for the first time and they're all moving away from home for the first time.

So you have that instant connection that you're all coming from different backgrounds and you're living in this new foreign land.

And so you encourage each other to get through it together.

That's so good to have like a support system.

And I guess parang if you're going through it with other people, there are these shared experiences that, you know, at least you have people to run to that are going through the same things.

But before I go to my next question, I just want to thank you for being my lifesaver when I went to Doha.

I don't know if people know this but I was in Doha for like a month for work and it was one of the toughest freaking experiences of my life like it's like a great it's very interesting you know modern city in the middle of the desert kind of like like Dubai but a little smaller and

Yeah.

It was just, it was tough for me where I was.

But anyway, that's another story and I wanted to thank you because if not for you, I swear, like that was the most depressed I probably was in my life.

Of course, not counting the heartbreaks.

Not counting the heartbreaks because that's different.

okay so Doha great life you got to travel and you ticked so many of the countries that you wanted or all the countries were able to go to all the countries on your list not all i still have a few left that i'm saving for my future husband

for the honeymoon.

OMG!

That's a totally different conversation.

But related to that, you decided to move back to Manila where I don't know if you'll find your future husband there.

But yeah, like,

So, anong nagpapasok mo sa Manila?

Alam ko ba mo ay nagpapasok sa pagpapasok?

Ano ang pagpapasok ng pagpapasok ito?

At ano ang mga masasabi ng pagpapasok ito?

Yes.

So, sa pagpapasok, maging as a flight attendant, hindi ko nalaman ito ay isang permanent na gawin, o hindi ko nalaman ito ay isang mga kareer sa panahon.

Alam mo, ito ay mga

I just finished college.

I don't know what I want to do except travel.

You know, and this is the way to do it.

And along the way, I was always had it at the back of my mind to start a different career or to maybe start a business.

My family is very entrepreneurial and I wanted to go in that direction.

And so the reason why I was excited about moving back home to Manila

was because my cousin presented me with an opportunity to start a real estate business and to, you know, build my own business alongside him.

And, you know, it's kind of the same way that, you know, people who are living in Manila, they get jobs abroad that they'll never be able to get in Manila.

And that's why they get excited and go for it.

It works the other way around where I was living abroad and I was starting to think like, you know, I want to build like a solid foundation in my career.

I want to start my own business.

And this opportunity was presented in Manila.

And, you know, for me, I thought, what better way to start that than to do it like right in the comfort of your own home where

Your family and friends are there and you have your support system.

Because while I was living in Doha, my support system was on speed dial.

It's always picking up the phone when I'm homesick.

They're always reminding me why I moved abroad in the first place.

After a while, the homesickness really gets to you.

When I found the opportunity to

I could also imagine how many Filipinos who are working abroad who would kill for an opportunity like this you know because during my time in the Middle East I made friends with a lot of Filipinos and a lot of their stories are

Heartbreaking because it's like they don't actually want to be so far away from their families but because of the lack of opportunity in the Philippines, you know, it was sad like I remember since I did like a month in Dubai and then another month in Doha and you go to

All the stores, the restaurants, and it's Filipinos working there, right?

And so, whenever, like, I'd see one, and I can tell that they're Pinoy, I'd be like, kabayan, right?

And then they're like, oh my gosh, like, you're Filipino too, ta-ta-ta-ta!

And, like, you get better service, maybe they'll give you a little extra whatever, and it's great, but they would ask me, like, so how long are you gonna be here?

And I'm like, oh, for about a month.

And every time, they would be like, you're so lucky.

Because they're like, oh wow, short lang, you're so lucky that you get to go back home.

Because they want to be home.

It's just they have to provide.

It's so heartbreaking.

It's so heartbreaking.

I would get a lot of passengers, especially on my flights to Manila.

And you know, you have these dads who are like, I miss my kid's graduation, or I miss my kid's birthday, or haven't seen my family in two years, three years.

And you have these mothers who are like, I just want to be with my kids, but I can't earn this kind of money back home.

And it's heartbreaking.

But it's also at the same time so amazing how Filipinos just continue to work hard, do what they need to do to keep their family supported.

Yeah, the resilience.

It's true.

You talk about like, you know, having to, meeting other, like Filipinos in the flights.

But you also had to deal with like loads of nationalities and races.

And I remember talking to you about this in Dubai, like how, parang they're so annoying.

I don't wanna stereotype, but it's parang it's true, you know?

So like sometimes, they're like,

Great people in every race and also annoying, not self-aware, just irritating people.

So what are your thoughts on boxing people up or stereotyping people by race or nationality?

Is it mean?

Am I mean?

No, you're not mean at all.

I am though sometimes.

No, but for you, because it was your job, right?

Yeah, yeah.

It's definitely important to sort of like box or stereotype certain cultures.

But it's not because you're trying to be mean.

It's more of like it's important to educate yourself so that you remain respectful.

You know, like what could be offensive

For a Filipino, could actually be a sign of appreciation from a different culture.

And that's just the way the world works.

uh irritating people but what i've come to realize and to learn is that actually irritating and annoying it's a universal language you know it's all different cultures they're all different walks of life there are annoying people and then there are the ones there are the pleasant ones and

Yeah, it's important.

Of course, you want to know how to behave around certain cultures because you want to be the pleasant person.

You don't want to be the ignorant, annoying, like, I'm better than you kind of person when it comes to cultural differences.

But sometimes, yeah, I have a feeling, I'm not gonna say which

which race I'm pertaining to but sometimes you get that feeling from a lot of people from a certain country for example like it so it's like I understand if people think oh they're all like that no it's not true like but a lot of them are like that and if you understand a little more their culture their history you kind of understand why

You know?

Parang it's like, okay, there's a reason for this.

And it's really, for me, very interesting to reflect on those differences.

But more, parang understand more about Filipino culture also.

Like, living abroad,

You see these differences and distinctions and it makes you kind of appreciate certain things about Filipino culture and Filipinos.

So what about Filipinos did you find, I don't know, like inspiring or what did you... Oh my gosh, my words.

So what did you find about being a Filipino while you were abroad?

Yeah, well, yeah, living abroad actually made me so much more

proud to be a Filipino because Filipinos are friendly.

It goes without, you know, it's like, it's actually like universal knowledge.

You meet so many different nationalities and they'll be like, Oh, you're Filipino.

So you're friendly, and you're hardworking, and you're resilient.

And it's like, wow.

Thank you for that.

Like, yeah, it's true.

You know,

So yeah, you are able to appreciate Filipinos more especially when you see them outside of their comfort zone and you see how much they're trying to adjust and trying to be respectful.

And when you miss them.

And still wanting a helping hand.

Oh, you missed that.

Exactly.

Like now, because I don't really hang out with Pinoys here.

Like, I don't really feel like I belong in that community.

Although, I mean, there's a very small community here in San Sebastian, but I see them in like this bench one.

There's a specific bench that I feel like they go to all the time, but anyway.

But parang being with non-Filipinos, I enjoy myself.

I love my friends here.

But I miss the wittiness.

Like there's like this wittiness that we have.

It's like there's always a hirit to be said no matter how serious the conversation.

Like we turn it, like we bring fun into it.

And I really, I miss that anyway.

It's a normal feeling missing that piece of home and that's also why like you'll notice when you're living abroad like nationalities become more cliquish with each other because it's like they're so homesick they don't do it intentionally it's just that they're missing home so much that they want

a piece of home as much as they can get yeah i realized i realized that okay so there are people here that i speak to in spanish in spanish there are people here that i speak to in english but it's like pure english right and i realized that my native language is taglish

I can't really speak to anyone here in Taglish so I'm training Mikael a few Filipino words so I can speak to him in Taglish.

But yeah, that's also one of the reasons why I started this podcast was so that I have an excuse to have more and more conversations with my friends like you!

Speaking of, uy may connection.

So I named this podcast like I Suck and then at small talk as in parenthesis because I mean there's this feeling na I suck at a lot of things and it's good to acknowledge it so that I can surpass it.

So I want to ask like every guest, what do you think you suck at and what are you doing to overcome that?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

It's hard to say sometimes.

But it'll feel better.

Knowing that you don't know who's gonna watch this.

Yeah.

But it might be zero-less.

It might just be you and me when we're lolas.

And I suck at hiding my facial expressions.

So, I've been criticized a lot over the years for having a contingent phase.

Oh my gosh!

No way!

Yeah!

Like people tell you, like... Ah, yeah, okay, yeah.

Suplada!

People always ask me, like, are you okay?

Do you have a problem?

Is something wrong?

Like, you know, and I'm just like, yeah, I'm fine.

And, you know, a lot of people

Like they get easily offended because I'm not, you know, very good at especially my eyes.

My eyes are very expressive.

So the moment I hear something I don't like or I hear something that I disagree with, like my eyes are just gonna say it right away.

The windows to your soul is.

You cannot hide.

The windows to my soul.

The windows to my resting b***h face.

Yeah, I tried to prove that by like, you know, like usually like when I'm talking to someone or communicating, I try to take longer pauses before reacting or before responding or, you know, like just

practicing how to just keep a blank face or maybe keep a smile, like a semi-smile on.

So while you're talking to someone, you're conscious.

You're conscious of like, okay, my face is like this.

But with your friends that know you, you're not, right?

Like, you're comfy.

No.

What?

But my friends know that I can judge them and we'll still be friends at the end of the day.

Yeah, yeah.

It's true.

That's why.

In a professional setting.

Yeah, because you deal with a lot of clients.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, like I moved back home to Manila and I now work in real estate.

So I do deal, you know, I'm still in a way, I'm still involved in customer service.

And I've actually read a bunch of books.

My favorite one being How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Wow!

What's so helpful is by Dale Carnegie and it's very helpful practical tools that you can use to, you know, just be on the good side of people.

Because yeah, like a simple like eyebrow raise or rolling your eyes or even just like sometimes if you yawn or you do something.

There are people that study that, right?

Like they study, okay, what does this mean?

What would this mean?

And so because there are studies on it, now you can control it and kind of use it nga to your advantage.

When I was doing the mixed VJ search thing, one of the things they told me was I have to control my eyes.

I get too big daw!

Because when I'm saying stuff, they're too big daw.

So I had to kind of watch myself and yeah, consciously be like, okay, don't make your eyes pop too much.

But I think, I don't know if that stuck with me or if I don't care na lang now.

So if ever, if it bothers you, if you're watching me and it bothers you, tell me my eyes still pop.

okay oh my gosh Liz this was such a good convo and we're oh and we're like just in time i'm so excited would you be back like would you consider recording more conversations with me

Okay, great.

Because there are so many convos outside of the record button that are just so good, dude!

Okay, to end, what would be like your top advice to someone that is moving away from home?

Okay, my top advice would be two things.

Number one, keep an open mind.

Because no matter how prepared you think you are, there's always gonna be surprises here and there.

And number two, keep your loved ones on speed dial, your family, your friends, you know, be open to asking them for help whenever you feel stuck.

Ask them for sunshine when you're feeling homesick because

You know, the people that you keep in your life, the people that you let into your space, that's what's gonna make or break your experiences.

You know, you could be in the worst country in the world but you have the best friends around you and you'll be good.

Or you could be in the most beautiful country in the world but you're with the irritating, the universally irritating people.

So yeah, it's a lot to do with the connections and yeah.

I'm gonna keep those tips in mind.

Thank you so much Liz thanks for sharing your moving away story it's been like weird recording it but also fun I think we're gonna get used to it as we keep doing this um but yeah to our listeners thank you also for joining us whoever you are

This is fam, my fam.

Hello, how are you doing?

Just message us.

You have our numbers.

But thanks for listening to an episode of I Suck at Small Talk.

Stay tuned for more stories and life learnings that inspire us to break out of our shells and embrace the world.

Yeah!

After a quick nighttime jog, the universe rewarded me with a delightful surprise in my real-life mailbox: my Spanish driver’s license in its card form. ¡Por fin! 🎉

I looked at my name by my address: Gipuzkoa 20001. It took me back to the first time I received mail at my new home.❤️ It's fascinating how seemingly small things can bring such excitement when they're fresh and new. The challenge is in keeping the enthusiasm alive.

A few things kept me up last night

The sound of the wind, Mikel’s snoring, and this article raging a storm in my head.

*Unlocks phone and writes at 2am*

I’m deleting everything I wrote yesterday, saving the intro, and starting again.

Wheeling around

I’ve been relearning to drive a stick shift, getting comfortable on a scooter, and giving myself missions on the bike.

I’m not comfortable on two wheels. I was and still am a clumsy little girl and I have the scars on my knees to prove it. I think I never really built my jelly leg muscles. (Gotta do more squats!)

Driving on these unfamiliar roads gives me anxiety. I grew up in a racing family; my grandfather Pocholo Ramirez was a legendary race car driver in the Philippines. The next generations also followed suit.

“The one with the beard is the racer to be feared.”

That meant we have to drive well—and fast! Road rage runs in my blood and hearing passionate debates about what other drivers do wrong behind the wheel adds pressure to not be the noob, the reason for a traffic jam, the one people honk at, the a$$h0le.😬

It’s something I appreciate! Learning the rules and how to be courteous but quick on the road; being trained to think of others, respect people that we have to share a space with… This perspective translates to other public spaces, too.

I’m mindful to signal before changing lanes; stay on the right lane when not going fast enough; walk quicker when a car is waiting on me to cross a pedestrian lane; not block an entry or escalator when I don’t know where I’m going; think of what I want to order so as not to hold up the line—one-piece chickenjoy with rice, please!

I wish more people were aware of those around them and their power to affect.

Growing in kindness and understanding

But oftentimes, we aren’t born that way. We aren't inherently equipped to embody the ideal qualities of a mindful and capable driver, pedestrian, athlete, citizen, employee, parent, daughter, or person we imagine in our minds.

Rarely is someone just naturally excellent and great. (If you are, well, then lucky you!) For most of us, this is learned and earned through practice and by making mistakes. Research, study, and having the courage to ask questions and admit when I need improvement are often my first steps.

I had the pleasure of interviewing the enlightening Dr. Sarah Glova about the Growth Mindset on the EX Experience podcast. Basically, it’s changing from saying: “I’m not good at it.” To: “I’m not good at it yet.”

Because. Don’t we all have the capacity to grow? Improve? Get better?

That’s something I now tell myself when fear brings paralysis, like when the engine dies on a tollgate. Woosah. It’s ok to suck in the beginning! It’s ok to make mistakes, to fail! Keep at it and you’ll get better.

Now, though, I’m also seeing beyond me. Others are on their journey of growth and reaching their full potential, too. So when I find myself with road rage, I need to remind myself that other drivers also need encouragement and a trigger to flip from an “I suck” to an “I’ll work to get better” mindset.

I mean. Not everyone had the privilege of learning how to drive a stick shift on a racetrack with Pocholo Ramirez telling them when to brake, downshift, and take the chicane.😉

How did you learn how to drive? What was your most embarrassing booboo?😳 Let's swap stories and remind each other that it's all part of the ride. Reply to this email or send me a message with your anecdotes!😉

Thank you for reading Janine’s Where I Roam Free blog and newsletter.🙏🏻 This post is public so feel free to share it!😊

For a long time, work was central to my identity. I obsessed about my job, making it the cornerstone of my life.😬 I've now learned the art of balance and appreciate other facets of my life; but I don't regret my workaholic streak. It drove me to demand more from myself and my employers. It taught me to question whether my job helps me become the person I aspire to be, both in terms of skills and values.

No matter how uncomfortable and socially tortured you feel, the moment will pass and you’ll survive. It helps to prepare. It helps to practice.

This led to a fair amount of job hopping, with at least 13 positions under my belt, all of which were swirled with immense learning and confidence building. The cherry on top? Meeting absolutely wonderful and inspiring people along the way.

Out of the 13, I want to share the three jobs that scared me the most, yet have also been the most transformative in building my confidence. These three careers pushed me beyond my comfort zones, tested my limits, and ultimately made me a more resilient and self-assured professional (and human!).

Career Challenge 1: Find the Confidence to Speak as a Myx VJ

I've always been hesitant to speak in front of crowds. In class, I'd think once, twice, five times before raising my hand to ask a question, let alone share my thoughts. When I’m surrounded by familiar faces, my outspoken persona makes an appearance; but among strangers, I retreat into my shell.

How I came to be a video jock for Myx Music Channel, introducing music videos and hosting live concerts, is another story. (Curious? Ask me about it!😅) Today’s story is about my struggle with public speaking. I admit that I was comfortable in front of a camera. But live events were terrifying!

One defining moment was during a massive concert with thousands in the crowd. Technical glitches called on my shaky hosting powers, demanding that I “stretch” my segment. The pressure was intense! I recall a wide-eyed kuya Miko with his headset on the frontlines mouthing, “Streeeetch,” while making those dreaded hand signals. This meant something was wrong and I had to keep talking up the crowd until they gave me a thumbs up.

Oof! That will live in my traumatic memory vault forever. Right next to it, though, is the memory that I survived the longest 10 minutes of my life. Lesson learned! No matter how uncomfortable and socially tortured you feel, the moment will pass and you’ll survive. It helps to prepare. It helps to practice.

Over time, I learned to manage my nerves and speak comfortably in front of crowds, even embracing the occasional blunder with humor—after I get over the cringe.😮‍💨 To this day, I feel insecurity seep in because of my lack of eloquence. But I’m pushing myself to the uncomfortable spotlight through my own personal project: I Suck (at Smalltalk).

Interested in leadership and world of work topics? You might enjoy these conversations I had with amazing people leaders on the Employee Experience Experience podcast!

Career Challenge 2: Communicate and Negotiate with Top Executives for Global Media

This job redefined my belief in myself and what I could achieve. I’m forever grateful to mentors Franco Verona and Brian Banta. I would have shrivelled up in front of CEOs without their exceptional guidance and training. They remain invaluable sources of business advice and networking opportunities. (I appreciate you, senseis!)

With Global Media, my responsibilities as project director included researching a country’s economy and top industries, creating prospect lists, arranging meetings with top executives (Cold calls still give me the chills!), flying to and finding suitable living arrangements, conducting interviews, meeting sales quotas, writing reports, and a lot of coordination. Rinse all that and more, then repeat!

Our remote work setup—even before the term was coined!—was ahead of its time, utilizing Google Docs and weekly update meetings before it became commonplace. The reports I produced with the GMI team in Dubai, Doha, Japan (Former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe wrote the introduction!), the Netherlands (I interviewed then Foreign Minister Frans Timmermans who later became the Vice-President of the European Commission!), and more, all serve as lasting reminders of my ability to tackle daunting tasks in foreign soil. The secret sauce is a mix of great training, research, support, and sheer determination.

In hindsight, a career in sales wasn't my calling, but with the guidance of mentors like Franco and Brian, I found invaluable lessons in resilience and adaptability. Those years taught me how to conquer my fears and the world!

Explore some of the reports I produced and authored published in the Foreign Affairs magazine.

Career Challenge 3: Lead a Team to Shape a Senator's Voice for Former Senator Bam Aquino

By this time, I was no longer daunted by addressing large audiences and engaging with influential individuals. My initial role in the Senate was as a speechwriter, and transitioning into this sphere didn't scare me; I was excited! It was the unexpected leap into the position of Communications Director that brought my fears to the surface. Leading a team for the first time felt daunting, and self-doubt crept in as I questioned my capabilities.

What helped me overcome this was my commitment to honesty and clarity. I openly shared my concerns with the team while remaining steadfast in goals. Together we crafted both our values and objectives, even designing large stickers for our office so we’re constantly and subconsciously reminded of how we want to work. Together, we transformed words on the wall to reality.

Equally helpful was a supportive team who truly believed in my potential to lead. Senator Bam and fellow directors who I looked up to and respected served as the best examples and guides. Thanks to them, I know to strive to lead by example, to empower my team rather than micromanage, and to recognize that allowing others to shine is the best reward.

I may not have been the best manager, but I kept us aligned in a shared vision, message, and brand. More importantly, I empowered a collaborative work environment built on trust; one that we all loved. My time with this incredible team remains a source of pride—an experience I'll cherish forever. I look forward to sharing more stories from this journey in my future writing.

Here’s a small pocketbook we put together with some of our favorite articles.

Embrace Challenges, Ignite Confidence, and Thrive

As I reflect on my journey of confronting and conquering career challenges, I'm reminded that our professional paths are not just about what we achieve, but how we grow along the way. Embracing challenges isn't merely a necessity; it's an opportunity to ignite your inner confidence, fortify your resilience, and emerge as a stronger, more empowered professional and individual.

From trembling in front of audiences to orchestrating international projects, each career hurdle has been a transformative step towards self-discovery. Through these experiences, I've learned that it's not the absence of fear that defines us but how we confront it head-on.

So, if you find yourself standing at the precipice of a daunting career decision or facing a seemingly insurmountable challenge, remember that you have within you the capacity to overcome. Challenge by challenge, you'll not only develop the skills and knowledge you need but also the unwavering belief in your own abilities.

As you navigate the twists and turns of your professional journey, consider this: Your career path is a canvas, and each challenge you encounter is an opportunity to paint a masterpiece of growth and achievement. So, embrace the unknown, lean into your discomfort, and watch as you transform self-doubt into unwavering confidence. You've got this!

If you have your own stories of career challenges and triumphs or if you'd like to share your insights, please feel free to do so in a comment. Let's continue this empowering conversation together. Shy? Message me on LinkedIn!

*Yawns* *Stretches* *Looks out the window*

“WHAT?! It’s a rainbow! Mikel, mira un arcoiris!”

*Springs out of bed*

WHAAAT?! It’s a full, bright, colorful rainbow! An absolute delight to wake up to.😍

I put the coffee pot on, turn back around, and it’s gone.🙈

Constant Change and the Galerna

Last night the galerna swept through Donostia. That's what they call the intense wind that whooshes from the sea, feeding beachgoers a swarm of sand 🤣, and clearing out the heat from concrete.

It’s strong. Chairs from terrazas and flimsy bikers get blown away. Do you know how Mary Poppins rolls into town? Like that.

It’s fun! You feel the change.

“I wonder if I force these birthday traditions on myself so I don’t miss all of you as much.”

The Big Three-Eight

I've hit the big 3-8. I feel no different than when I was 37. Ha! Time plays tricks. It’s quick when you look back, slow when you’re sitting and waiting.

So stop sitting and waiting.

I conquered my birthday mountain—Monte Adarra—again this year. Glad to know my knees are still up to it. Made it back to the city in time for lunch at a sushi bar where they surprised me with a song.

Zorionak zuri! Zorionak beti! In the Basque version of Happy Birthday, they just say congratulations. They don’t even mention what for. I wonder why they don’t use the song for all occasions.🤔

My birthday weekend was a symphony of flavors. Canneloni courtesy of Mikel's ama, Peruvian sushi and gourmet gyozas, my favorite burger, too much Mexican food, and cookies flown in from Manila (Thanks, Tito Bonny! They were so yummy.🍪).

Oh. Plus beer and chips with a side of sunset and friends from this side of the world.

I wonder if I force these birthday traditions on myself so I don’t miss all of you as much. Because I do. Especially when I want to celebrate my life, which is made rich thanks to our memories together. If only we could all teleport to a karaoke joint!

Just before midnight of the 8th, my sister's call brought the only tears of my birthday. For now, filling my day with traditions will keep my eyes dry.

Constant Change, Visitors, and Regatas

Life here, I've noticed, unfolds in extremes. It's either a panorama of activities and gatherings to choose from, or a day of tranquil nothingness. My birthday season breeds the former.

Last week brought an Asian invasion of Filipinos for the joyous wedding of Bettina and Jojo. Having a slice of Manila here was fun and, to be honest, comforting. But that's another story!

Sunday marked the finals of the regata competition. We went out to the Bahia de la Concha in stand-up paddle. We could see the port and the side of Monte Urgul full of people sporting their team’s color. Clouds of yellow smoke were conjured into the air.

“It’s like Harry Potter!”

Yup, this city is just as magical.

Just like that, it’s gone.

Nails done with the girls on Saturday, chipped that same night. Summer’s peak in terms of sun and heat quickly chased away by the galerna, rainbow, lightning, and rain. Another year of my life tucked away and a personal podcast in the making (WAH!).

Life is an exhilarating choose-your-own-adventure novel filled with, well, choices. And a lack of. There’s a delicate dance between going with the flow and forging your path. Will I ever master its rhythm? Who knows.

This week, I'll enjoy the calm.

Thanks for reading about my birthday shenanigans! Subscribe for free and soon I’ll have some helpful content and transform this into more than just a silly diary.😅 - Janinay

If you've ever felt the icy grip of awkwardness or battled imposter syndrome, you're not alone. In this introductory episode, Janine talks about why she's starting the 'I Suck at Smalltalk' podcast and what you can expect from these personal, heartfelt, unfiltered conversations and connections. Let's laugh, learn, and conquer self-doubt, one conversation at a time!

Click here to listen (and watch!) on Spotify.🎧 Get to know Janine more by subscribing to the podcast and her newsletter!

I ran into a friend on the street today. I haven’t seen him in a while! After sharing some good news, he turned the conversation to me, “¿Y tu, que tal?”

"Me acaban de despedir del trabajo.” ↔️ “I just got laid off .”

He assured me not to worry. With my profile, I'll find something soon.

I also had a conversation with an ethics and compliance queen. We're collaborating on a Webinar about AI on Ethics Reporting and Employee Feedback. She praised my dedication and smarts, mentioning that she'd hire me if she could. She even called me fantastic!🥹

I didn't realize how much I needed to hear these words—and from such remarkable people!🥹🥹🥹 I'm so grateful for all of you who have faith in me, even when I'm filled with doubt and worry.

I’ve come to appreciate my worries though. They've taught me to prepare for the worst, which helps propel me forward! As long as I also hope for the best and let go of the doubts when they start pulling me down, I should be ok.😳

Can you relate? Do you worry too much too?🥲

Barbie and the Beauty of Language Barriers

I watched the Barbie movie in Spanish recently. Visually, it was stunning. There were a few moments that made me chuckle. But I found some scenes and lines ridiculous and not particularly funny.🙊 It could be the nuances lost in translation—the delivery, tone, words... How did you find it?

I watched the movie with two strong, independent, intelligent Basque women.🤩

Here in the Basque Country, they speak Euskera, an entirely different language from Spanish. They are often (at least) bilingual and, while some don’t mind shifting between the two languages, others prefer speaking Euskera.

This adds a barrier for newbies trying to connect with the community.

When we’re with la cuadrilla or da barkada (That’s ‘group of friends’ in English!), there are moments when I can't quite follow their conversations. Should they all adjust to Spanish, I feel self-conscious for being the reason they switch to the dictator’s tongue.😬 Nakakahiya!

While it does make things less convenient for me, I have a great appreciation for their staunch commitment to the Basque identity, with Euskera being an essential ingredient. Their language—not dialect!—is proof that they're not Spanish but Basque, and it symbolizes their relentless effort to preserve their traditions, way of life, and sense of being, even when the dictator Franco tried to suppress Euskera, making it illegal to teach and speak.

The fact that each generation still uses the language in their day-to-day, despite the brutal crackdown, demonstrates the strength, pride, and beauty of the Basque culture.

I do wish we would preserve all the wonderfully rich languages of the Philippine islands. But I’ve also developed an appreciation for the Filipino adaptability, flexibility, and creativity that shines through in the way we speak. I realized my native tongue isn't English or Filipino; it's Taglish.😂 The ability to weave words from both languages, picking the ones that best express my thoughts or even creating new expressions and words when needed has helped me become the communicator I am today…

That is: a communicator that can make do with my broken Spanish to talk fluidly about the struggles of womanhood across different cultures and societies with two strong, independent, intelligent Basque women.😆 The real magic of the Barbie movie occurred afterward at a café over two pots of tea, a beer, and great conversation.

Immersion and Connection

It’s important to me that, while I maintain my connection with you from afar, I also make lasting friendships in the society I now call home.

My strategy is to build connections in bite-sized portions. Because in big groups, I gravitate to people I already know and am comfortable with. When I get to connect with someone new, I get that “Mission Accomplished” feels and I love it!

It's uplifting to have these small yet meaningful victories, especially with my birthday just around the corner this Friday.👵🏻 Every year, I find myself cycling through the same phases of sadness-for-not-accomplishing-enough, self-reflection, appreciation, and, finally, celebration! The birthday blues grow shorter with each passing year. YAY!

I've lived a rich life filled with experiences and I’m still making memories! Imma keep trucking on, surrounding myself with remarkable people who believe in my spark, just as I believe in theirs.

Do you know someone that mind need to hear this? It’s public, share the link!

“What’s your story?”

Someone asked me that question recently and I think my response scared him off.😂

I started from the very beginning: separated parents, impossible-to-draw family tree, fear of hellfire, appreciation, and liberation from the expectations of society…

In retrospect, I concluded yet again that I can be so damn awkward.😆 I think he just wanted to know where I’m at in life and career. Oops!

He should’ve been more specific.🙄 Because I’m countless stories!

I was a Catholic schoolgirl with separated but loving parents; complex but wonderfully colorful families. I was a silent, can’t-speak-Filipino-well, couldn’t-make-friends-at-badminton-training kid. I was a totally unstylish, kengkoy teen. The wackiest Myx VJ ever. Traveling saleswoman. Team Bam fanatic. Filipina in Donostia. And all the stories, anecdotes, wins and loses, drunken nights, and pensive moments in between.

Today? I’m a content strategist that just got laid off from an artificial intelligence start-up in her late 30s. Yup. That just happened.😳

My Unemployment Story

I can’t say it was a shock; there have been waves in the past. I can’t say it was expected either; I felt like a highly valued member of the team—and still do.

What I can say is that I was sort-of-kinda-hoping for it.

Though I’m not gonna lie. It was tough to hear and I cried a bit. But it isn’t anything a lovely day at the beach and calls with comrades can’t fix! I’ve lost too many sunny mornings indoors for work and was lucky enough to have a clear, beautiful day as soon as I was out of a job. Hay buhay…

Don’t worry! While I always appreciate hugs and “How are you?” messages, I’m genuinely feeling good. I do detest the legal and administrative paperwork. Boo. And I need to process my whole employee experience to learn and progress. (If you want to help me with that, let me know!)

Financially, I’ll be on paro, which is the unemployment benefit allowance you earn (and contribute to) while employed. It will be the first time I’ll receive a monthly allowance for getting my life together, job hunting, and connecting with you.🤯 Not bad, Spain.😅

Emotionally, I’m mas o menos filled with appreciation. This was the first team I joined since moving here and colleagues have turned to true friends. I’ve learned a ton about work systems (I love sprints and the Agile method!). And I even got to interview absolutely amazing People+Culture leaders for the company’s podcast.

If I reach out to you to grab a convo for my budding podcast, I hope you say yes!

It’s the red tape that’s really bogging me down.😩

Perfect Timing

What are the chances that I launch this newsletter and gear up for my personal podcast right before I join el club de desempleo? Writing is a form of therapy and having this to run to is a big help to flow through my thoughts and feels.

Another source of comfort? Conversations with my peeps i.e. you. Time for a quick connection update!

Got to talk to my sister again today but didn’t record it.😜 We will again soon. And if I reach out to you to grab a convo for my budding podcast, I hope you say yes!

Tita Pam sent me a comment for my last post that touched my heart plus made me laugh. (Love you!) And I randomly called Norman for a quick catch-up.

Lots of little connection wins incentivized by this little project of mine. Yay!

Have you seen…

Oppenheimer? Barbie? I want to know what you think!

I don’t really get to watch movies in a theater anymore but these plans came up. Caught Oppenheimer in English and Barbie in Spanish. WAH! Were jokes lost in translation?🥴 Let’s talk!

Thanks for reading!❤️ Do we have common friends or fam that might want to see this? It’s public so feel free to share. - Janine

Walk with me y te cuento.

It’s been rainy and windy the past few days at around 20°C. A stark contrast to the sunny sauna we had a few weeks back during semana grande, the week-long fiesta. The sun draws everyone out and together, painting smiles on even the crankiest faces. There were dinners and wine, concerts and beer, fireworks every night, and even costumes of the belle époque years.

Mikel had a friend visiting. I had an ex-colleague around. Long-lost family came and went. All. At. Once.

It was great! I had fun. But I was spent.

I ended up with a tinge of either COVID or COVID-paranoia mixed with a hangover. I sulked a bit. Drank tea and Frenadol a lot. Cleaned up and organized the apartment…

I feel much better now. And more balanced!

Let’s duck into the library.

When I went to Sydney for Patty’s wedding, one of my loveliest souvenirs was a taste of her new home and her new life. We had a barbecue in the park where they walk their dog Hopper, drinks at the taqueria where Mon hangs out with colleagues, and bought munchies in the closest store to their apartment that closes the latest (they shut so early there!).

Patty, my only sister, is one of the most important people in my life. It was my first visit since she moved continents and I was so happy to sharpen my image of her day-to-day. When she tells me she’ll be home soon, I can trace her steps from the train station to her door.

I not-so-secretly wish that for myself, too: that my favorite people experience my new world and my simple, fiesta-free days. I’d like you to imagine my sunsets from memory and not from IG story; or remember the feeling of drenching rain when I tell you I forgot to wear my chubasquero today.

Quick beach check.

Living away is bittersweet. There’s so much I appreciate but also so many people I miss. And the only way to connect is through a screen. I’m so tired of screens.

Then why’d you start a freaking newsletter, Janine?!

I know. Sounds dumb, right?

Might sound less absurd to know that I hope to swap social media scrolling for writing these articles out. I could spend 30 minutes or more every day consuming random content. That’s at least 3 to 4 hours a week, which is more than enough to get this to you–and call you up too!--should the time difference and our schedules permit.

So that’s the hope: to trade wasted digital consumption for meaningful conversations and content creation.

Will it work? I don’t know. But it might! Since starting this…

* I’m excited to write!

* Patty and I made time to record our conversation.

* Elisa messaged me and we got on a call.

* Drea and Andrew commented on my first post.

* I got 11 votes on my first poll.

And YOU subscribed. I’ll take that as a sign to keep going.

Almost home.

Your turn. How are you?

Haloo! If you've already crossed paths with me, you know the deal and all my cray.😜 But if not… I'm Janine, Ninay, Nin, J9, etc., a not-so-athletic explorer with a zeal for learning and a knack for storytelling and strategic comms.🤹🏻

Though I’m currently calling the enchanting Donostia my home, this lady’s roots are in Manila and I wear my unconventional Filipina identity proudly. I’ve also lived stints in Tokyo, Amsterdam, Dubai, and Doha; and gathered tales from 27 countries and counting.

Intrigued? Meh. I’m not that fun. I can also be a boring couch potato munching on spicy nachos alone on a Friday night. (Need tips to convert FOMO to JOMO? DM.)

Welcome to my Substack, a canvas to capture kaleidoscopic learnings & experiences!🍭

Why this, why now?

Good questions, my friends. While the sea breeze of San Sebastian is pure magic, there are moments when I miss the deep connections I have timezones away.

Why not just post on social media? Let's just say it's time for a breakup. I'm on a mission to reclaim my time while keeping conversations and connections truly alive and buzzing. (SO CALL ME.)

Also, aging – it's a thing. (I legit just pulled out a few white hairs 6 minutes ago.) Instead of investing in Botox, I'm investing in leaving a legacy through my stories and experiences. Wrinkles might show up, but my legacy will be flawless. HA! (That’s a joke ‘cause Botox is not completely out of the question...🤔)

Join My Tribe

Who am I inviting into this digital carnival? You and your curious soul!

If you're craving a slice of my life, a dash of inspiration, and a chunk of realness, you're home.❤️

Are you like me, trying to decode yourself in spaces you don’t quite belong in so you can piece together the puzzle of life while keeping your wonder alive? Or maybe you’re just itching to soak up whiz-dom, laugh at misadventures, and ditch the virtual circus for the world outside. If any of this floats your boat, bite the bait and subscribe.

You won’t see these funky moves on the 🚫TikTok👎🏻 dance floor so sign up for rainbows in your inbox instead.

Why jump into the Nin Network?

Because it’s free (Skip those paid options!) and because you love me.😘 Your passport to my inner world comes at no cost and grants you visa-free access to:

* My Colorful Life: The whirlwind of moving to Spain, learning a new language and culture whilst leaving behind the people I feel most safe around (There’s a lot to unpack!); career wins and frustrations; love life updates; travel escapes; and whatever else I’m up to. (Mushroom foraging, anyone?)

* Fresh Learnings: New self-discovery concepts (Apparently, I’m an HSP?!), life hacks, and language and culture barrier-breakers.

* Kitchen Capers: My culinary escapades and easy-peasy kitchen experiments.

Who knows what I’ll whip up next? Maybe nothing and I’ll opt to just read on the beach instead.🥴 But all this ☝🏻️ only costs a little bit of your time per… month/week. Depending on which wins the poll. ⬇️

Alrighty then! If this rollercoaster ride has you giggling and craving more, hit subscribe, and together let’s find the sweet spot where learning, laughter, and a hard knock life intertwine.

And if you ever feel like waving goodbye, just click unsubscribe. I swear I won’t hold it against you! You don’t know how many emails are left unopened in my Gmail.😆

Big hugs and a virtual high-five to all of you who made it to the end of my inaugural Substack post!

Special shoutout to my sister Patty Limcaoco for giving me the final nudge to get this show on the road. I love youuu!

Thanks for reading! But I’d appreciate you even more for subscribing.🤣 - J9