I Will Know You

One photo can’t heal a whole life, but it can change the way you see yourself forever.

After my separation, I realized I didn’t just feel uncertain about dating. I was uncertain about me. I couldn’t take a compliment without questioning whether it was true, and my default was to critique my body instead of inhabit it.

That’s why, in 2023, I booked my first boudoir shoot with Nicole Messner of Wise Photography, and why it became one of the biggest turning points in my self-discovery journey.

For so much of my life, I could hear people tell me I was beautiful, but actually seeing what they saw was something entirely different. Through Nicole’s lens, I finally did. I saw my body as art. I saw beauty, sensuality, confidence, and a woman who was so much more than the “pretty” or “cute” I had allowed myself to be.

There is a pre-photoshoot Arlyne and a post-photoshoot Arlyne. In many ways, that first experience feels like part of my origin story.

Nicole doesn’t treat boudoir photography like a “be sexy for an hour” performance. She creates an experience built around trust and giving women an opportunity to see themselves from a completely different perspective.

In this episode, Nicole and I talk about:

•  My first boudoir photoshoot and what it meant to finally see my beauty the way others had always seen it 
•  The evolution from “pretty” and “cute” to embracing sexy, sensual, and powerful 
•  Nicole’s journey as a photographer and how she found her way to boudoir 
•  The way she photographs the female body as art 
•  The fear of judgment, the male gaze, and the ways women learn to shrink themselves 
•  What really happens during a boudoir shoot, from being coached through every pose to the moment of the reveal 
•  How seeing yourself differently can create confidence that spills into the rest of your life 
•  The community Nicole has created through Wise Photography and the friendships that have come into my life because of it 

This conversation is about boudoir, but it’s really about seeing yourself.

My photoshoots with Nicole, especially that first one, changed me forever. Nicole didn’t create the woman I saw in those photographs. She helped me see that she had been there all along.

And once I saw her, I couldn’t unsee her.

Sometimes becoming isn’t about turning into someone new. Sometimes it’s finally seeing who you already are.

If you’ve ever struggled to see your own beauty, felt disconnected from your body or sensuality, or wondered what might change if you could see yourself through a different lens, this one’s for you.

Connect with Nicole
Nicole Messner, Wise Photography
Website: wisebynicole.com
Instagram: @wisebynicole

About I Will Know You
I Will Know You (@iwillknowyoupod) is a podcast about the lifelong journey of knowing ourselves more deeply, healing what needs healing, and becoming more fully who we are.

Hosted by Arlyne Solis (@queenarlyne)

Production
Produced and edited by Alec Bardin.

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What if the hardest year of your life is also the most expansive?
I’m closing the year by sharing five lessons that reshaped everything. How I held grief without labeling it failure, learned the difference between solitude and loneliness, redefined love far beyond romance, healed my nervous system to build real safety, and used travel as integration instead of escape.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why grief showed up in joyful moments and how that became proof that I loved deeply
 • The shift from “I’m alone” to “I’m with myself,” and what solitude taught me about self-trust
• Redefining love through friendship, community, and a wildly affirming Galentine’s
• How the love I thought I lost didn’t disappear, it expanded
• Nervous system healing in real life: therapy, breathwork, movement, sleep, and honest self-audits
• Weaning off anxiety medication with medical support, feeling more, and coping better
• Building internal safety and how that unlocked solo travel and expansion
• Doing the things I always said I wanted to do… and finally doing them

Across the high highs and low lows, the throughline is acceptance: all feelings are temporary, and growth happens when we stop outrunning them. This episode is an invitation to reflect on what this year revealed about you—what you’re carrying forward, and what you’re ready to leave behind.

If you’ve been craving reflection, expansion, or permission to meet new parts of yourself, this one’s for you.

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I’m taking you to Italy with me, but this isn’t a travel recap. It’s a soul recap.

In this episode, I share how a three-week journey through London, Rome, Capri, Taormina, and Palermo became a turning point in how I see myself, my healing, and what I’m capable of.

I talk about:

• The grief that surprised me in the airport lounge and why grief lives in the body
• How I practiced being with myself (dining alone, wandering, asking for help without shame)
• Ancestral pride and feeling my grandma with me in Italy
• The “I don’t belong here” moments, and how I learned to take up space anyway
• The boat day that cracked something open in me: joy, freedom, and a new capacity to dream bigger
• Why “Vacation Arlyne” isn’t just vacation… she’s me
• My challenge to you: what are you putting off because it’s “never a good time”?

If you’ve been craving expansion, courage, or a reminder that your life can be bigger than the one you’ve been surviving through, this one’s for you.

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In this episode, I’m sharing what it really feels like to return to myself after a season of change, divorce finalizing, traveling through Europe, coming home to unexpected fear, unexpected grief, and the quiet rebuilding that happens in the messy middle.

This isn’t a story about being “finished” or having it all figured out.
 It’s a story about remembering who you are, even after life shakes you in ways you didn’t expect.

Inside the episode, I talk about:

• Why self-discovery is a cycle, not a destination
• The version of me I met while traveling, and why I miss her
• What knocked me off-center when I came home
• Letting joy back in when fear takes over
• Anchor points, shadows, and nervous system healing
• What solitude taught me during a literal power outage
• How I’m learning to be a better friend to myself

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or unsure of who you are lately, this episode is for you. You haven’t lost yourself. You’re becoming.

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In this deeply personal episode, Arlyne Solis explores how heartbreak, in all its forms, can become a portal to deeper self-love, healing, and connection.

From the loss of family members to the unraveling of a 15-year relationship, Arlyne shares how grief and love are inextricably linked, and how losing what (or who) we love can lead us back to ourselves.

This is a story of heartbreak, healing, and the unexpected ways love finds us when we’re willing to sit with pain, not run from it. If you've ever felt lost inside your own story, this episode will remind you that grief is not just an ending, it's an invitation to return to who you really are.

Yes, this episode will break your heart a little… but it will also gently put it back together with more light and self-love than it had before.

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Content warning: This episode includes reflections on sexual assault and trauma. Please take care of yourself as you listen.

In this deeply personal episode, I share one of the most life-altering experiences of my life—an incident of sexual assault that changed how I saw myself, the world, and what it means to heal.

This episode is a story of survival, truth-telling, and reclaiming wholeness. I talk about trauma responses, anxiety, taking legal action, and the choice to heal from within.

This isn’t just about pain—it’s about power.

If you’re going through your own “life quake,” I hope this reminds you that healing is possible, even from the deepest fractures. The ones no one else can see, but you carry every day.

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Welcome to the very first episode of I Will Know You! In this deeply personal and raw conversation, I share the pivotal moment that led me on an insatiable journey of self-discovery—staring in the mirror and realizing I didn’t fully know myself. From navigating loss and divorce to redefining identity, this episode is about embracing change, finding resilience, and allowing relationships to guide us toward knowing ourselves.

If you've ever felt lost in transition or unsure of who you are, this episode is for you. 

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

• The moment I realized I didn’t know myself—and how I started to change that
•  How major life shifts (divorce, loss, career changes) impact identity
•  The surprising role of community and relationships in self-discovery
•  Breaking free from societal expectations of success & happiness
•  Why vulnerability and connection are essential for personal growth

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💬 Let’s Connect! @QueenArlyne on Instagram
⭐ If this episode resonated, leave a review! It helps more people find the show.