God Attachment Healing

Identifying Relational Red Flags in Christian Relationships - Gottman's Four Horsemen in Dating Relationships


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On today's episode, I'll be discussing the red flags in Christian relationships, but specifically on observing how you and the person you're dating relate to one another. Oftentimes, we are so used to behaving the way that we do in relationships without realizing how we may be harming the other person and even ourselves by not being aware of the negative ways in which we relate.

If you want to know how people “truly are”, see how they respond when they’re under stress or when they’re given power.  This is crucial to observe in dating relationships.

To help us understand what this can look like in Christian relationships, I provide some biblical advice to implement to counter what John Gottman calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: 
- First, I discuss some obvious red flags that lead you to leave the relationship immediately, 
- then, we discuss some more subtle red flags, and 
- lastly, we discuss Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. 

Scriptures used in this episode: 

  • Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. – Eph. 4:29
  • A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Prov. 15:1
  • A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. – Prov. 29:11
  • By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom. – Prov. 13:10
  • Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Eph. 4:32
  • But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, - Gal. 5:22
  • Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. – Eph. 4:2
  • When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. – Prov. 11:2
  • Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. – Prov. 18:12

If you have any questions or comments on this topic, please  email me at [email protected].

Remember to please LEAVE A REVIEW for the podcast as it helps get the word out to a larger audience, and remember to SUBSCRIBE and/or follow on Itunes, Spotify, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and all other podcast platforms.

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ABOUT ME 👇

My mission is to provide Christians with content on how to address spiritual and mental health issues within the church. In fact, I often address shame and its effects on relationships within the church. 

I look forward to walking alongside you as we draw closer to Christ!

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FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK:
God Attachment Healing

ABOUT ME 👇

My mission is to help you understand your attachment style to learn how you can heal from the pain you’ve experienced in your relationship with God, the church and yourself.

I look forward to walking alongside you as you draw closer to Christ!

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