If your faith sometimes feels like a constant test you keep failing, you’re not alone and you’re not broken. Today we get painfully honest about Christian perfectionism and religious performance, that quiet pressure to pray more, serve more, confess better, and stay “good enough” so God won’t pull away. I unpack how that mindset can sneak in even when we genuinely love Jesus, and how it can turn spiritual growth into a frantic attempt to earn approval.
We explore what the research on attachment to God suggests: anxious attachment tends to increase distress, while secure attachment supports well-being. Along the way, I connect the dots between childhood patterns of rupture and repair and the way we read God’s heart now. When perfectionism runs the show, we can start interpreting setbacks as punishment, feeling rejected after failure, and carrying the exhausting belief that we are never enough. That cycle often shows up as anxiety, shame, and burnout, especially for people who are overextended in visible church activity while quietly neglecting prayer, rest, and the “greater things” at home.
Then we pivot to a different way forward: moving from performance to presence. I share practical practices like honest conversational prayer, learning to rest through Sabbath, simplifying commitments, and using spiritually sensitive mindfulness to reduce shame and build resilience. You’ll leave with questions to help you spot where you feel you must earn God’s love, and small experiments to help you stay emotionally present with Him even when you do less.
If this helps, subscribe, share it with a friend who feels worn out, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What part of perfectionism do you recognize most in your own faith?

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God Attachment Healing
MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling. 

Shame is loud, persuasive, and weirdly “religious” sounding, but it does not make us holy. It makes us hide. Today I’m drawing a clear line between guilt, conviction, and shame, because confusing them can turn the Christian life into a daily courtroom where you feel like you have to prove you deserve God’s love.
We start with simple definitions that actually change how you pray: guilt points to what you did, conviction invites you back into alignment and relationship through repentance, and shame attacks who you are. From there, we talk about how a shame-based identity forms through family dynamics, church teaching, spiritual experiences, and attachment patterns, and how that identity quietly distorts your image of God. When shame is running the show, Scripture can feel like a weapon, confession can feel dangerous, and worship can feel like performing while you’re secretly unworthy.
We also connect this to attachment styles and religious coping. Anxious attachment can drive hypervigilance and overdoing to feel close to God, while avoidant attachment can pull you into distance and self-protection, especially after spiritual abuse or controlling environments. Either way, the end result is often anxiety, depression, and spiritual exhaustion. Then we move toward healing: rest as part of God’s design, and self-compassion as a Christian practice of honesty, kindness, and care that does not excuse sin, but refuses to add self-hatred to suffering.
If you want a healthier relationship with God marked by truth and mercy, listen through to the end, subscribe, share it with someone who needs a gentler view of God, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Send Me Questions on Attachment

If you have ever wondered why you can look “fine” on the outside but feel restless, alone, or on edge inside, attachment might be the missing link. We talk about what secure attachment really is and why it has two essential parts: a secure base that helps you step into the world with confidence and a safe haven you can run to when life hurts. When those are present, we tend to carry a steady sense of worth and a realistic trust in others. When they are missing, we often compensate in ways that look strong but feel exhausting.

We walk through how anxious attachment can turn into people pleasing, over giving, and trying to earn love, and how avoidant attachment can turn into extreme self reliance and emotional shutdown because depending on people has not felt safe. We also connect these patterns to mental health outcomes like anxiety and depression, not as labels to shame you, but as signals that your nervous system is still looking for safety and support.

Faith adds a hopeful dimension. We explore God attachment and the compensation model, where a relationship with Jesus can begin to repair what you did not receive earlier in life. We talk about experiencing God as a secure base and safe haven through prayer, scripture, and strong Christian community, plus how serving others can reduce rumination and help with emotional regulation. If you want a clearer picture of your patterns and a pathway toward security, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find this help.

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FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

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God Attachment Healing

MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling. 

Send Me Questions on Attachment

Your anxiety might not be “too much emotion” it might be an attachment alarm that learned to expect rejection, abandonment, or being overlooked. Dr. Landa sits down with therapist Trevor Hanson to name those fears clearly, separate anxious attachment from generalized anxiety, and get honest about why logic alone rarely changes the way we show up in love.

Trevor shares his own turning point: a corporate layoff at Tesla, a toxic engagement that finally collapsed, and even a broken jaw that left him “jobless, jawless, and without a relationship.” That rock-bottom season pushed him into therapy, then into becoming a licensed marriage and family therapist. Together we unpack why healing cannot be a purely cognitive project. Attachment lives in the emotional brain, which is why you can know you “shouldn’t” spiral and still spiral. What actually rewires the pattern is emotional safety through emotionally corrective experiences, built in real relationships with healthy community, mentors, coaches, and secure “pseudo-attachment figures,” while also doing inner work like self-compassion and meeting unmet needs.

We also clarify the styles people mix up: anxious and avoidant can share the same core fears but use different strategies, while disorganized attachment tends to be more chaotic and trauma-linked. From there, we go deeper into God attachment: surrender, trust, and praying “but if not” as a way to loosen the grip of outcomes and performance. Trevor closes with a direct challenge for anyone questioning their worth: look at the price already paid for you, and let that truth become embodied.

Subscribe for more conversations like this, share it with a friend who feels stuck in anxious attachment, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Follow Trevor on IG @theartofhealingbytrevor

Support the show

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

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God Attachment Healing

MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling. 

Send Me Questions on Attachment

Calling every painful moment “trauma” can feel validating, but it can also train your mind to interpret normal stress like an emergency. We unpack that tension head-on by defining trauma in a clear clinical sense, exploring where “small t trauma” fits, and explaining why the language we choose can shape identity, relationships, and resilience over time.

We also zoom in on the most consistent finding in resilience research: strong social support changes outcomes. I walk through how to identify one to three safe people, what it looks like to actually receive their care, and the three markers that build a sense of safety in real life: consistency, effectiveness, and timeliness. If your story includes childhood pain, rejection, or chronic criticism, we talk about how repeated experiences can create lasting meaning, and how new repeated experiences can rewrite that meaning.

From an attachment perspective, we connect the dots between anxious, avoidant, and disorganized patterns and the way everyday relational bumps can feel catastrophic. We also make space for what Christians often miss: your body’s response matters, not just your thoughts. Along the way, we offer a grounded Christian counseling framework for reframing hardship, strengthening secure bases relationally and spiritually, and practicing small acts of resilient living.

If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s sorting through the word “trauma,” and leave a rating and review so more people can find the show. What part of your story do you want to describe more clearly starting today?

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FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

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God Attachment Healing

MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling. 

Send Me Questions on Attachment

A secret doesn’t stay small for long. When one partner is hiding pornography use or sexual addiction, the damage shows up everywhere: emotional distance, confusion, defensiveness, and that aching sense that you’re married to someone you can’t fully reach. We wanted to name that reality clearly and still hold out real hope, so we invited Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith to share their story of betrayal, disclosure, and the long road back to connection.

Matthew and Joanna talk candidly about what kept them stuck for years, what finally brought the truth into the open, and why the betrayed partner often feels a storm of anger, fear, grief, relief, and even hope at the same time. We dig into betrayal trauma, why “just trust me” doesn’t work, and how recovery has to include more than willpower. They explain the concrete supports that helped them rebuild, including weekly therapy, 12-step community, and the kind of honesty that doesn’t depend on getting a good reaction.

We also unpack their practical framework for rebuilding intimacy, what they call the intimacy pyramid: honesty first, then safety, then trust, then vulnerability, then intimacy. You’ll hear why reliability and predictability matter so much, how everyday conflict becomes a chance to practice rupture and repair, and why the goal can’t be forcing your partner to trust you again, it has to be becoming genuinely trustworthy. We close with small daily habits that compound into real change, plus resources from the Rab Smith Team, including their book Building True Intimacy and a free couple check-in.

If this helped, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more couples can find tools for healing and secure attachment.

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FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

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God Attachment Healing

MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling. 

Send Me Questions on Attachment

If your spiritual life depends on how moved you feel on Sunday, you might be building your faith on weather instead of rock. We sit down with Dr. Tim Yonts to name a problem many Christians sense but struggle to describe: emotionalism in Christianity, where feelings become the test of truth, the proof God is present, or the reason we stay or leave. 

We get specific about church culture and the modern “worship experience.” Music is meant to stir the heart, and Scripture is full of emotional honesty, joy, and celebration. But when worship sets lean on endless repetition, predictable emotional peaks, or shallow lyrics, it can train people to chase an emotional high instead of growing in doctrine and theology. We talk about why that matters, how theology-rich worship strengthens both mind and heart, and why the healthiest churches make room for expressive and reflective believers alike. 

From there, we dig into the real dangers of emotional reasoning: “I feel peace, so it must be right,” or “I feel bad, so God must be disappointed.” We discuss confirmation bias in spiritual spaces, the temptation to make instant declarations after prayer, and why discernment requires slowing down, examining our thoughts, and testing conclusions. The aim is not to become less emotional, but to become more mature, so our emotions serve our faith instead of steering it. 

If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it. Where have you seen emotions help your walk with Christ, and where have you seen them derail it?

Support the show

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK:
God Attachment Healing

MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling. 

Send Me Questions on Attachment

If you’ve ever thought, “I know the right things about God, so why don’t I feel close to Him?” you’re not alone. That tension sits right at the crossroads of God attachment, church hurt, and spiritual maturity, and it’s exactly where this conversation goes. I’m joined by Dr. Tim Yonts, a theologian and ethics professor with a background that includes growing up in an extremely strict church culture and then pursuing formal training in biblical studies, divinity, and theology.

We break down what theology actually is (the study of God) and why it’s not reserved for academics. We talk about systematic theology versus biblical theology, how doctrine functions as the church’s core teaching, and what words like orthodox and heresy really mean in everyday Christian life. Along the way, we get practical: where do you start if theology feels overwhelming, what resources can help, and why asking pastors and elders for guidance can protect you from convincing but harmful teaching online.

We also make space for the personal side. Church hurt can shape how we “hear” Scripture, even changing the way we read Jesus’ tone and character. We explore how emotions belong in a faithful life with God without becoming the test of truth, and why a balanced approach helps believers grow from spiritual infancy into steady, grounded maturity. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s rebuilding their faith, and leave a review with the theology question you want us to tackle next.

Support the show

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK:
God Attachment Healing

MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling. 

Send Me Questions on Attachment

Addiction doesn’t usually start with rebellion. It starts with relief. Then relief turns into compulsion, and compulsion starts stealing your joy, your relationships, and even your sense of who you are. I sit down with my friend and colleague, Louis Alvey, an addictions clinician and soon-to-be Dr. Alvey, to put clear words to what so many people live in silence: doing the thing you don’t want to do, again and again, despite the fallout.

We break down a practical definition of addiction, then widen the lens beyond substances to process addictions like pornography, gambling, and endless scrolling, plus the emerging reality of AI “relationships” that can mimic connection. We talk dopamine and the pleasure-pain swing that keeps the brain chasing another hit of comfort, and we wrestle with a Christian framework that sees addiction as misplaced worship without turning every enjoyment into a moral panic.

The heart of the conversation is attachment and shame. If the core belief is “something’s wrong with me,” hiding makes perfect sense, from friends, from family, and even from God. We explore why “just try harder” is often what Christians get wrong, and what actually helps: safe community, truth told with love, and radical honesty that pulls people out of isolation and back into real relationship. We end with a challenge for the church to act like a hospital again, welcoming people who are already sitting in the pews and quietly struggling.

If this helps you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it. What question do you want us to answer next in a Q&A?

Support the show

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK:
God Attachment Healing

MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling. 

Send Me Questions on Attachment

The “psychology vs theology” fight sounds serious until you realize it often hurts the very people we’re trying to serve. I’m joined by Dr. Jichan Kim, associate professor of psychology at Liberty University and a researcher in forgiveness psychology, to map out a better way: a thoughtful integration of Christian theology, philosophy, and psychological science that doesn’t flatten human suffering or sideline Scripture. 

We unpack why many Christians feel suspicious of counseling, where that suspicion comes from, and what gets lost when churches replace soul care with pop psychology or, on the other side, reduce every struggle to “just pray more.” Dr. Kim makes a sharp distinction between science and scientism and explains why data never interprets itself. We also talk about how theology shapes our view of the person through creation, fall, and redemption, and why sin affects every aspect of life without making therapy pointless or faith optional. 

Then we go deeper into philosophy, naturalism, and supernaturalism, including why some people try to explain miracles away and why Christians don’t need to fear honest inquiry. We end with a sober conversation about suffering and theodicy, plus practical wisdom for pastors, counselors, and friends who want to avoid cheap answers and offer real empathy. 

If you care about Christian mental health, biblical counseling, therapy, attachment theory, and building a more faithful approach to healing, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with someone who’s wrestling with these questions, and leave a review with the biggest takeaway you’re sitting with.

Support the show

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM:
@godattachmenthealing

FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK:
God Attachment Healing

MY HOPE FOR YOU
I hope these episodes bring you closer to Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him. 

ABOUT ME 👇
I have been a Christ-follower for the last 20+ years of my life, and have seen the Lord's grace, strength, and faithfulness through it all. He led me to pursue a degree in higher education and has given me a gift for the field of counseling.