If I Could Say One More Thing

If I Could Say One More Thing

By Andrea Appelwick | If I Could Say One More ThingArtsBooksFictionDrama
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If I Could Say One More Thing episodes

  • S02E21 | The Peace I Didn't Recognize

    He gave her a vacuum cleaner for her birthday.

    She never quite forgave him for it.
     
    Not because it was a bad vacuum cleaner. It was, by all accounts, an excellent vacuum cleaner.

    David called when he said he would. He remembered things. If he was angry, he stayed and said so, plainly, without theatrics.
     
    Melissa found this unbearable.
     
    She had grown up reading love as weather... a door slammed, a silence, the relief when it passed. David offered none of that. No storm. No chase. Nothing to decode.
     
    So she decoded it anyway, and decided something was missing.
     
    Years later, after loving someone who kept her guessing, she finally understood what that "something" had actually been.
     
    She asked David to meet her for coffee. Not to get him back... he already loved someone else. Just to tell him what she hadn't known how to say the first time.
     
    Why does calm so often get mistaken for a warning sign? And once you've learned to read love as danger, is it possible to unlearn it... or only to notice you're still doing it?
     
    "The Peace I Didn't Recognize" is a story about apology, growth, and the specific grief of realizing, years too late, that you left because something was right.
     
    Sometimes what we call boredom is only quiet.
    Sometimes what we call chemistry is only fear wearing a nicer name.

     

    ⏱️ CHAPTERS
    00:00 Intro
    01:54 The Story
    47:45 The Conversation with Melissa
    53:47 The Takeaway
     
    🎵 MUSIC
    Chopin — Andantino "Spring", B. 117
    © 2025 CLASSICALS.DE
    License: Creative Commons CC BY-NC 4.0
     
    Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the guest and the people involved in this episode.
     
    If this story stayed with you, share it with someone who's ever mistaken peace for something missing.
     
    And if you have a story you'd like help telling, write to me at [email protected].

    55 min
  • S02E20 | The Words He Left in the Margins

    She bought the book because it was four euros and raining.

    Someone had written in it.
     
    At first, the notes in the margins of an old copy of To the Lighthouse were funny, opinionated, occasionally impatient with Virginia Woolf.
     
    Then one name began appearing.
     
    Anna.
     
    No surname.
    No explanation.
     
    Only traces: arguments, jokes, too many pears, and a piece of Satie that had to be played from the beginning. Slowly.
     
    As Laura follows the handwriting from blue ink to black ink to pencil, she begins to realize she isn’t simply reading someone else’s book. She is watching a person change across years... and discovering the outline of a woman she will never meet.
     
    But how much can we really know about people from what they leave behind?
     
    And when a stranger’s private story finds its way into your hands, does it ever become yours to carry?
     
    “The Words He Left in the Margins” is a story about memory, absence, ordinary objects, and the strange way a person can remain present in the smallest traces.
     
    Sometimes what survives isn’t a biography.
    Sometimes it’s handwriting.
    A song.
    A grocery receipt.
    And too many pears.
     
    CHAPTERS
    00:00 Intro
    01:30 The Story
    41:52 The Conversation with Laura
    49:48 The Takeaway
     
    MUSIC
    Claude Debussy — Rêverie, L. 68
    Erik Satie — Gnossienne No. 3
    Recorded, produced, and published by Gregor Quendel
    © 2025 CLASSICALS.DE EXCLUSIVE RECORDINGS
    License: CC BY-NC 4.0
     
    Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the guest and the people involved in this episode.
     
    If this story stayed with you, share it with someone who understands how much a small thing can hold.
     
    And if you have a story you’d like help telling, write to me at [email protected].
     

    52 min
  • S02E19 | The Thing You Trusted Me With

    She knew exactly where to aim.

     
    For more than a decade, Leah and her best friend Monica said almost everything to each other through voice messages... from grocery aisles, carpool lines, kitchens, and the edges of ordinary life.
     
    Then Monica entrusted Leah with something fragile: a fear about her marriage she hadn't told anyone else.
     
    Months later, during an argument, Leah used it against her.
     
    One sentence. Said in anger. Delivered with perfect accuracy.
     
    The friendship ended.
     
    Thirteen years later, Leah has apologized, respected Monica's silence, and spent more than a decade becoming someone who knows what to do when another person hands her something vulnerable.
     
    But one question remains:
    How long are you required to punish yourself for something you genuinely regret?
     

    “The Thing You Trusted Me With” is a story about broken trust, remorse, friendship, and the difficult work of self-forgiveness... not by deciding that what you did was acceptable, but by becoming someone who would no longer do it.

      
    Because you don't prove you're sorry by suffering indefinitely.
    You prove you're sorry by who you become afterward.
     
    ⏱️ CHAPTERS
    00:00 Intro
    01:58 The Story
    34:00 The Conversation with Leah
    43:20 The Takeaway
     
    MUSIC
    Brahms — Three Intermezzi, Op. 117: II
    Piano arrangement by Hiroshi Munekawa
    Recorded, produced and published by Gregor Quendel
    © 2025 CLASSICALS.DE EXCLUSIVE RECORDINGS
    License: Creative Commons CC BY-NC 4.0
     
    SHARE YOUR STORY
    Have you ever hurt someone in a way you couldn't undo... or carried an apology long after the other person stopped listening?
    I'd be honoured to help you tell it.
      
    Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the guest and the people involved in this episode.
     
    I'm Andrea Appelwick.
    This is If I Could Say One More Thing.

    45 min
  • S02E18 | The Story We Got Wrong

    A one-year anniversary special.

      
    Twenty-three years ago, Emma left York believing she understood exactly what had happened between her and a man named Daniel. She'd made peace with it. Built a whole life in Italy on top of it. Then her father falls down the stairs, she flies home for what should be a few ordinary days... and steps off a hospital lift into the one face she never expected to see again.
      
    This is a story about the versions of events we build when no one hands us the real one. About silence, and everything we quietly let it mean. And about what happens, decades later, when someone finally asks the question they should have asked at twenty-three.
     
    This one runs long (one hour and four minutes) because we wanted to mark the occasion properly: today's story, followed by a real conversation with the woman who inspired it.
     
    Chapters:
    00:00   - Intro
    01:39   - The Story
    56:02   - The Conversation with Emma
    1:02:25 - The Takeaway
     
    Names and a few details have been changed to protect the privacy of the guest featured in this episode.
     
    Music:
    Elgar - Salut d'Amour, Op. 12
    Recorded, produced and published by Gregor Quendel
    gregorquendel.com | classicals.de
      
    Have a story of your own... something you've carried, misread, or never quite finished? I'd be honoured to help you tell it. Reach me at [email protected].
     
    If this episode stayed with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and follow the show so the next one finds you.
     
    I'm Andrea Appelwick, and this is If I Could Say One More Thing.

    1 hr 4 min
  • S02E17 | The Word I Kept Hearing

    There's a word that follows some of us into every room... at baby showers, at holidays, at the exact moment someone asks the wrong question in the wrong tone. For Ashley, that word was still. Still single. Still renting. Still not where she thought she'd be.

    This week's story follows one ordinary, overdressed Saturday: a baby shower, a box from the attic, a folder covered in silver stars and the small, unglamorous act of writing a letter to the person she used to be. Not to fix anything. Just to answer.

    Afterward, I sit down with Ashley to talk about the real conversation behind the story. what it's like to hear a single word turn into a verdict, and what changed when she decided to stop letting it.

    Chapters:

    00:00 Intro
    01:38 The Story
    46:24 Conversation with Ashley
    58:49 Reflections & Takeaways

    Music: Clara Schumann Soirées musicales, Op. 6, Notturno/Nocturne in F Major, Op. 6 No. 2. Recorded, produced, and published by Gregor Quendel, CLASSICALS.DE. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International (CC BY-NC 4.0). Full license: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/

    1 hr 1 min
  • S02E16 | The Life She Folded Away

    What do you do when you find the life your mother never got to live, folded into a shoebox at the back of a closet?

     
    In this episode, Nina is helping her seventy-two-year-old mother, Ruth, downsize after a fall... sorting a lifetime into three index cards laid out on the living room floor: KEEP, DONATE, TRASH.
     
    Then she finds the box her mother never labeled.
     
    Inside is a passport, an acceptance letter to an art school in Florence, and a photograph of Ruth at twenty-one, laughing beside a man named Julian Bell in Grand Central Station, 1975. A man Nina has never heard of. A life her mother never mentioned, in fifty years of Sunday dinners and school pickups and a marriage that, as far as Nina knew, had always simply been.
     
    The Life She Folded Away is a reflective audio story about the fears we inherit without noticing, the difference between a secret and a life quietly set aside, and what it costs to keep waiting for the right moment to say the true thing out loud. It explores how easily "I'm fine" can become a family's entire vocabulary for love, and what happens when someone finally puts it down.
     
    After the story, Andrea speaks with the real "Nina" about finding the box, the conversation it started with her mother, and what it means to recognize your own fear wearing your mother's face.
      
    This episode is for anyone who has ever mistaken worrying for loving, wondered what their parents gave up to raise them, or found a version of themselves they didn't choose folded quietly into someone else's box.
     
    Music Credit
    Après un rêve, Op. 7, No. 1 by Gabriel Fauré (arranged for cello and piano)
    Recorded, produced and published by Maarten Schellekens
    Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International
    CC BY-NC 4.0
     
    If this story stayed with you, follow the podcast, share it with someone who might need it, or send your own private story request to: [email protected]
      
    I'm Andrea Appelwick, and this is If I Could Say One More Thing.

    55 min
  • S02E15 | The Train We Didn’t Catch

    Most of us assume the important moments in life arrive with some kind of warning.

     
    A wedding.
    A goodbye.
    A phone call.
      
    But sometimes they begin with a minor inconvenience.
     
    In this episode, Francesca and Davide are returning from a corporate retreat in Rome. They've worked together for years, sharing meetings, conference coffees, train rides, and the kind of easy familiarity that comes from seeing someone often without ever truly knowing them.
     
    Then they miss their train.
     
    What begins as an unexpected delay becomes a long summer night wandering through Rome together. Over a late dinner, quiet piazzas, and conversations neither of them planned to have, they slowly step outside the roles they've been playing for years and begin to see each other, and themselves, a little more clearly.
     
    The Train We Didn’t Catch is a reflective audio story about burnout, friendship, midlife reinvention, and the subtle ways we can disappear inside responsibility. It explores what happens when life interrupts our plans long enough for us to ask whether we're truly living our lives or simply managing them efficiently.
     
    After the story, Andrea speaks with the real Davide about the night that inspired it, why Francesca's laughter stayed with him long after Rome was behind them, and how some of the most meaningful connections have nothing to do with romance and everything to do with being seen.
     
    This episode is for anyone who has ever felt exhausted in the wrong direction, wondered whether they were living or merely maintaining, or discovered that an unexpected detour sometimes leads exactly where they needed to go.
     
    Music Credit
    Sicilienne, Op. 78 by Gabriel Fauré
    Recorded, produced and published by Gregor Quendel
    Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International
    CC BY-NC 4.0
     
    If this story stayed with you, follow the podcast, share it with someone who might need it, or send your own private story request to: [email protected]
     
    I’m Andrea Appelwick, and this is If I Could Say One More Thing.

    54 min
  • S02E14 | The Call He Almost Didn’t Answer

    There are calls we ignore because we’re busy.

    And then there are calls we ignore because we’re not.
     
    In this episode, Luke is standing in front of his open fridge on a warm July evening in Trieste when his phone rings. The number isn’t saved. He considers letting it go.
     
    But then he answers.
     
    On the other end is Matthew, his younger brother, the person he hasn’t really spoken to in years. What begins as an awkward, ordinary phone call slowly becomes something more revealing: a conversation about family, absence, old misunderstandings, and all the almosts that kept them apart.
     
    The Call He Almost Didn’t Answer is a reflective audio story about sibling distance, emotional hesitation, and the quiet courage it takes to reach across years of silence. It explores what happens when two people have both been waiting for the other to go first… and what can shift when one of them finally does.
     
    After the story, Andrea speaks with Luke about the real emotions behind the call, the difficulty of reconnecting with someone who once knew you completely, and why some conversations don’t need to fix everything in order to matter.
     
    This episode is for anyone who has ever let a call go unanswered, waited too long to reach out, or wondered whether a relationship could still be found somewhere beneath the silence.
     
    Music Credit
    Valse mélancolique / Melancholic Waltz by Franz Liszt
    Recorded, produced and published by Gregor Quendel
    Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International
    CC BY-NC 4.0
     
    If this story stayed with you, follow the podcast, share it with someone who might need it, or send your own private story request to: [email protected]
     
    I’m Andrea Appelwick, and this is If I Could Say One More Thing.

    37 min
  • S02E13 | The Date That Meant Two Things

    The date was chosen for us. That’s what made it impossible to ignore.

    In this episode, a woman signs the final papers of her divorce on the same day she once said yes... her wedding anniversary. Thirty years, distilled into a signature. Not an ending marked by heartbreak, but by something quieter… a shift in gravity.

    The Date That Meant Two Things is a reflective audio story about the kinds of relationships that don’t break, but slowly transform into something unrecognizable, and yet, somehow still present. It explores what it means to remain connected long after love has changed shape, and how difficult it can be to let go of the version of “us” that continues to exist in the background of our lives.

    What unfolds is not a story of loss, but of acknowledgment. Of realizing that some endings don’t arrive loudly… they arrive as quiet confirmations of something that has been true for a long time.

    After the story, Andrea speaks with Amanda about why she requested this episode, not to revisit a painful past, but to understand the emotional complexity of something that never felt like a clean ending. Their conversation explores long-term love, separation without rupture, and the subtle, often invisible ties that remain even when a life together no longer does.

    This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered what it means to officially let go… and whether anything truly ends when it does.

     

    đź”— Links & Ways to Connect

    Website: https://www.ificouldsayonemorething.com
    Submit your story (private): https://linktr.ee/IfICouldSayOneMoreThing

    31 min
  • S02E12 | The Place I Still Have

    The place was still there. I just didn’t know if I was.

     
    In this episode, a mother and daughter sit side by side after a family wedding, sharing a quiet car ride to the airport. Nothing dramatic has happened between them, just the slow accumulation of distance that can form over years of trying to love each other in ways that don’t quite land.
     
    The Place I Still Have is a reflective audio story about presence, perception, and the subtle ways relationships shift over time. It explores what happens when care is expressed through steadiness instead of closeness, and how easily love can be misunderstood when it isn’t spoken in the language the other person needs.
     
    What unfolds is not a reconciliation in the traditional sense, but a moment of recognition, where two people begin to understand the gap between intention and impact, and what it might take to step back toward each other.
     
    After the story, Andrea speaks with Linda about why she requested this episode, not because the conversation has already happened, but because it hasn’t. Their conversation explores the fear of losing closeness, the courage it takes to speak honestly after years of silence, and the possibility that imagining a conversation might be the first step toward having it.
     
    This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered if it’s too late to say something that still matters… and hoped that it might not be.
      
    đź”— Links & Ways to Connect
    Website: https://www.ificouldsayonemorething.com
    Submit your story (private): https://linktr.ee/IfICouldSayOneMoreThing

    28 min

About If I Could Say One More Thing

From the publisher's feed

A podcast about the words left unsaid... the unfinished conversations that linger in memory.