If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me

Welcome to Miss Edith, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we long for forgiveness and love in “Beneath You.”

In this episode, we talk

Plot and Firsts (1:40)

Initial Thoughts (18:00)

We Gotta Talk Spike… (23:00)

Our Withholding Slayer (32:20)

Selective Lucidity? (37:00)

Does the Soul Change Anything? (43:45)

Final Scene (46:45)

Blaming Xander (51:00)

Nancy Sucks (57:00)

Yelling (1:00:00)

Watches (1:20:45)

Rankings (1:29:00)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 7

/ Next episode: I missed you so much when I couldn’t find you.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Big Freaky Cereal Boxes of Death, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we learn some things about ourselves in Season 7’s premiere, “Lessons.”

In this episode, we talk

Plot and Firsts and Endurance Facts (2:45)

Initial Thoughts — and a treatise on power (24:15)

What’s the deal with magic? (31:15)

Who the f**k are you? (38:15)

The New Scoobies (43:30)

Logistical Roundup: Spike, Xander, Angel, First (46:30)

Yelling (58:30)

Watches (1:31:45)

Rankings — and our season premiere rankings(1:38:15)

BOMBSHELL HEAD CANON ENDING (1:47:00)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 7

/ Next episode: Beneath you, it devours

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Lesbian Gay-type Lovers, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we close out Season 6 by trying to resurrect the temple of Proserpexa in your local beer cooler!

In this episode, we all, together, in the same room (!), discuss:

Plot and Firsts (3:30)

Initial Thoughts (19:30)

Spike — The Twisted Tale of a Monkey’s Paw that Isn’t (29:30)

The Mind — Giles’ Plan (38:30)

The Spirit — Willow’s Motives & Morality (53:00)

The Heart — Xander (Him?) (1:00:00)

The Hand — Buffy and Epiphanies (1:07:00)

Yelling (1:14:00)

Watches (1:30:30)

Rankings (1:36:00)

Final Chat on Highs and Lows of Season 6(1:43:00)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 6

/ Next episode: You are. In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Less Confusing Waffles, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we accelerate our descent into Willow’s dark heart with “Two to Go.”

In this episode, we have a few points:

Bill Norton, Plot and Firsts (1:40)

Initial Thoughts (18:00)

The Plot Demands We Talk About the Plot Demands (23:30)

More about Buffy’s “line” — Beyond vengeance (31:30)

Buffy’s lame attempt convincing Willow that “there’s so much to live for” (38:50)

Willow’s psyche — bullying, “addictive personality” (43:30)

Anya’s weird (56:40)

Was Dawn in danger of returning to a ball of energy? (58:30)

Buffy v. Willow (1:04:30)

Yelling (1:10:00)

Watches (1:31:20)

Rankings (1:35:30)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 6

/ Next episode: Is this the master plan? You're gonna stop me by telling me ya love me?

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to The Lover’s Wiccas, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we explore grief with Willow in “Villains.”

In this episode, we get heated about

Plot and Firsts and “Contested Facts” (2:20)

Initial Thoughts + talking this episode in the era of prestige TV (21:45)

We all agree we wished this was “scarier” & was it intentional? (35:30)

Magic as drugs redux (41:00)

Morality Play: “we don’t kill humans” or do we? (48:00)

Strange reactions to Tara’s death? Caulk it up to shock! (1:05:00)

Yelling (1:17:00)

Watches (1:48:00)

Rankings (1:54:00)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 6

/ Next episode: Willow's a junkie. The only thing Willow was ever good for...the only thing I ever had going for me were those moments...just moments...where Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. And that will never happen again.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to The Big Pineapple, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week the episode and try not to cry… as Kelly says, “When I was 14, these two characters, Willow and Tara, meant more to me than real-life human beings…”

In this episode, we waddle through:

Plot and Firsts and Benson Quotes (1:45)

Initial Thoughts (16:00)

Tropes on Tropes [?] (20:00) — Psycho Lesbian, Bury Your Gays, Fridging A Woman

Kelly’s Read A Lot of S**t & Death of the Author [?] (35:30)

Personal Business? Xander v. Buffy (46:00)

You Know… That Scene (51:00)

Our first experience with the episode & Tangent #18 — The Kitten Board (1:02:00)

Tara is the price? or, a low-key Angel update… + you could feast on this forever, if you were inclined (1:08:00)

Yelling (1:18:00)

Watches (1:29:45)

Rankings (1:34:20)

Ending (1:42:00)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 6

/ Next episode: You mean, instead of killing my best friend, you killed my girlfriend.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Urn of Ishtar, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we confused entropy with atrophy and talk about a twenty year old television show.

In this episode, we talk

Plot and Firsts (2:00)

Initial Thoughts (10:20)

Xander Unloading (17:45)

Does Xander hate demons, or love Buffy? (34:00)

Spike: He spilled the beans (40:30)

Should Tara have taken Willow back?! (48:15)

Yelling (1:01:30)

Watches (1:25:00)

Rankings (1:32:00)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 6

/ Next episode: Your shirt.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to A Treatise on the Mythology and Methodology of the Vampire Slayer, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we create a latticework of discussion around the great “Normal Again.”

In this episode, we screw up the courage to discuss:

Plot and Firsts (2:00)

Initial Thoughts (8:30)

Ambiguity — Is Sunnydale Real? — Joyce & Hank — Why people don’t like this episode — Todd & Suzanne — realness of the asylum (13:30)

Joss and Marti — Lost — the implications (30:00)

Episode 8?! or 9?! or 22?! (40:00)

Spike (44:45)

Buffy, Spike, and the Antidote (50:00)

Yelling (55:30)

Watches (1:19:00)

Rankings (1:26:30)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 6

/ Next episode: I'm the embarrassing mom who tries too hard. When did this happen?

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Interfector Mortis, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we celebrate love and loss in the wedding of the century with “Hell’s Bells.”

In this episode, we vow to discuss:

Plot and Firsts (2:00)

Initial Thoughts (11:20)

We Can’t Go Back? Xander Harris (19:15)

Oil and Water: The Harris Family (28:00)

The Visions (& Xander/Buffy & Stuart Burns) (31:00)

Anya as vengeance demon (39:00)

Yelling (44:30)

Watches (1:11:30)

Rankings (1:21:00)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 6

/ Next episode: I’m not even there, am I?

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Ferula Gemina, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we go robot commando with our bestie Riley and his boo in “As You Were.”

In this episode, we talk:

Plot and Firsts (2:00)

Initial Thoughts (9:30)

Why does this episode exist? (13:00)

Is this a fantasy? Less person than parody! (16:00)

Have we shown up at ex’s place of work? How do we feel about it? (22:30)

Conspiracy time: Sam is the Doctor! Spike is an international arms dealer! (26:00)

Yelling (33:00)

Watches (59:00)

Rankings (1:06:30)

/ Full show notes at our website

/ @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

/ Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 6

/ Next episode: They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beepmepod.substack.com/subscribe