I'll TellYa Dis!

This week on I'll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino somehow survive another week of American absurdity after the Fourth of July 💩 show tried to wipe out society one exploding firework, heatstroke, and celebrity PR stunt at a time... because, 'Murica. 🇺🇸💀🧨

While 67 people collapsed from the heat at the so-called "Great American State Fair," Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce shut down Midtown Manhattan for a wedding that somehow made the tragic MET Gala seem almost relatable... because apparently nothing says "read the room" like a tone-deaf billionaire romance in a low-income economy. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell is MIA (again 😬... he's probably ⚰️), a New Jersey congressman vanished for four months (did anyone even notice? 🤷🏻‍♀️), Joey Chestnut consumed another 66 hot dogs in the name of patriotism and clogged arteries, and Erik's ongoing mouse problem took a psychedelic turn after one of his mice allegedly ate a mushroom capsule... so if Splinter shows up with four Ninja Turtles, don't say we didn't warn you. 😂🐭🍄🐢

Plus, Christy shares the unexpected breakthrough she finally experienced after 30 years in stand-up comedy, proving that sometimes your biggest career milestone arrives six months late... thanks, menopause. 🤣💀

If we survive another week of freedom, fireworks, and whatever the hell this country is doing, we'll see you next Monday. 🫶🏻

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This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral through another week proving humanity should probably lose its operating privileges after Christy nearly evacuated her apartment at 2AM when exploding lithium batteries in the hidden rickshaw lot behind her apartment building (Erik calls it a pedicab lot… to-may-to/to-mah-to, east coast/west coast… whatever 🙄) turned Midtown Manhattan into a literal dumpster fire 🔥🚒… and at these prices, we can’t afford to burn the whole city down 😩😂

Meanwhile the comedy industry continues proving it has a completely separate set of rules for women 🤦🏻‍♀️, Carlos Mencia apparently stole more than just jokes 💸, Texas somehow LOST AN ENTIRE GIRAFFE for two weeks 🦒👀 (🗣️ 2 WEEKS, TEXAS!!! Getchyo’ life together!!!!), and the Great American State Fair officially entered its Public Masturbation Era because apparently dignity is no longer federally funded 🇺🇸💀 — what a bunch of jerk offs… literally 💀

At this point civilization has left the building… See you next week. 🫶🏻

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This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral through another week of American absurdity after Freedom 250 officially kicked off with all the energy of expired mayonnaise, confirming the White (Trash) House has fully entered its Jerry Springer era 😒🙄🤨 The same “GET OFF MY LAWN” dipshits spent the weekend on the White House lawn jerking off to UFC while America died in real time 🇺🇸💀

In other news, Pete Hegseth got bullied by a bench press 🏋🏻‍♂️💀, Kid Rock is threatening us with an early retirement (he’s still here? 🤔), Darwinism and TikTok challenges continue proving evolution was a mistake, and insecure “men” continue doing the absolute most with the very least (IYKYK ⚽️⚽️)

America is officially turning 250 this year… unfortunately mentally we’re about 7.

See you next week. 🇺🇸🤦🏻‍♀️

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This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral after Donald Trump celebrated his BIG BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY by transforming the White House lawn into a live-action fascist tailgate party complete with Freedom 250 — a UFC spectacle proving America has officially entered its Monster Energy-sponsored dictatorship era.

Unfortunately, we recorded before the event happened, so stay tuned for next week when we break down whatever fresh hell unfolded at this absolute 💩 show.

And because America clearly hadn’t suffered enough this week, Tony Hinchcliffe dropped his Netflix special Man of the People and reminded everyone that apparently being an aggressively unfunny hack still gets you a Netflix special 🤦🏻‍♀️ Dream big, kids!!!

If America survives this caucasity… we’ll see you then. 🫶🏻

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This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino kick off Pride Month in the only way they know how: Erik crushed a fetish show in Scranton while Christy let it all out at a gay comedy show in the East Village. Meanwhile, a Bronx funeral home allegedly pulled the ol’ “Switch-a-Roo” with a corpse, which immediately begged the question: “WHO’S MANZ IS DIS?” 💀⚰️

As for the Knicks… Trump showing up for Game 3 of the Finals at MSG has the entire city preparing to scream “WHO’S MANZ IS DIS???” after realizing his cursed courtside energy COULD tank the best Knicks season in decades 🤦🏻‍♀️🗣️ Melania, come get your man! Actually… Melania would probably pull a Mariah Carey and say “I don’t know heem.” (We will have a full follow-up report next Monday.)

Meanwhile, Vanilla Ice is somehow STILL the only one IN for the Freedom 250 while everyone else — including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson — is OUT (whew… Christy almost had to end the relationship 💀💅🏻).

It’s seriously giving Great American societal collapse realness 💅🏻

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This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino spiral headfirst into America’s latest humiliation circus after the “Great American State Fair” lineup starts collapsing faster than the U.S. economy 🤦🏻‍♀️

What was supposed to be a patriotic 250th birthday celebration for America somehow turned into The Titanic… everybody jumped ship except Flo Rida, half of Milli Vanilli, and Freedom Williams (who went into full defensive mode while sitting on the toilet 🚽… pretty symbolic of his career if you ask us 💀). Now the entire thing is slowly turning into a MAGA dumpster fire while the rest of America watches in horror.

The duo dives into:

• the MAGA music festival disaster

• UFC fights on the White House lawn 🙄

• Kevin Hart roast fallout

• Byron Allen replacing late night TV with “comedy wallpaper”

• Knicks playoff “hysteria” 😒🚩

It’s political exhaustion, cultural collapse, bug infestations, and balls-to-the-face sports commentary…

It’s giving Great American State Fail realness 💅🏻🇺🇸💀

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This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino survive a comedy show meltdown in Astoria that ended with hecklers getting physically thrown out, beer pitchers flying, and Erik rage-walking the 59th Street Bridge questioning his entire existence… while Christy gets stuck playing comedy mafia fixer after the audience turned the show into Road House 2.

Where was Patrick Swayze when we needed him?

(Oh yeah… he’s dead. Completely useless.)

Meanwhile, an innocent birthday party of 20 somehow got trapped in the middle of the melee, so wherever you are… Happy Birthday, girl. Sorry your celebration turned into a live-action bar fight.

Then the duo dives headfirst into the internet’s latest comedy civil war after Chelsea Handler’s viral Kevin Hart roast triggered a legendary 5-page Facebook manifesto from comedian Craig Shoemaker… aka “Victimese: The Series.”

Hey Craig… why you mad, bro? NO ONE mentioned your name.

The episode spirals through:

• toxic comedy ego wars
• bitter old comics
• Kevin Hart becoming unrelatable
• Instagram troll warfare
• Cameo roast services
• and why comedians should probably never log onto Facebook again.

It’s angry.

It’s petty (like me 💀💅🏻)

It’s therapeutic.

And somehow… still deeply stupid.

I’ll TellYa Dis… if your Facebook post needs five screenshots, it’s already a manifesto… save us all the headache and log off… for good.

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Watch "Fan Mail Reel": https://www.instagram.com/p/DYsCTO5RBJ2/

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This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino welcome Florida comic and comedy club owner Cristy B for a chaotic deep dive into the Daytona comedy scene, road comic survival, dirty standup, New York culture shock, homeless “surge pricing,” retirement communities, Ozempic, and why not all comedians should legally be allowed back on the road.

Cristy B shares how she accidentally became a comedy club owner, what it’s like booking comics in Florida, and why every touring comic eventually ends up one bad decision away from Daytona Beach.

It’s reckless.

It’s inappropriate.

It’s emotionally unstable.

I’ll TellYa Dis… Florida comedy has its own NASCAR:

Not All Standup Comics Are Respectable…

…and that’s exactly why Florida books them.

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⚠️ THIS EPISODE HAD TO BE RECORDED TWICE ⚠️

The first recording vanished into the void because the video didn’t record… so instead of giving up, Christy Miller and Erik Marino re-recorded the entire episode and accidentally created a comedic parallel podiverse.

Now there are TWO versions of this week’s breakdown:

🎧 The audio-only “lost timeline”

📺 This cursed alternate reality

This episode spirals through:

* Spirit Airlines flying the coop (literally)

* BedJet “sponsorship”

* LonelyFans & creepy Cameos

* Netflix Is A Joke crash-outs

* Cybertruck recalls

* World Cup ticket insanity

* Trevor Noah betrayal

* bad sleep

* worse moods

* and two comedians hanging on by a thread

The weird part?

Some jokes survived both versions.

Others disappeared forever.

Which ones?

You’ll have to tune in to find out.

So watch this version…

then go listen to the audio version, compare timelines like a psychopath, and leave us a comment:

Should we do this “accidental mistake” again?

Welcome to the Podiverse.

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This week on I’ll TellYa Dis: three gigs, three wildly different outcomes.

Erik drives to Pittsburgh to open for a friend… and bombs 💣

Tony Hinchcliffe comes off a Netflix high and a week later hits Atlantic City—reads his entire set off his phone… and bombs 💣

And Christy closes out a Cinco de Mayo private event by absolutely crushing the room… then barely makes it off stage in one piece—to drop a bomb 💣🚽

All is fair in life and comedy: nobody cares—just be funny.

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