I'm A People Person

The nagging ideas you can't seem to stop thinking about and the balls of regret that live in your brain. Have a question you want Tamara to cover? An idea for a podcast episode? Call the podcast hotline and leave a voicemail! Call (720) 798-4535 Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL736ZmZPS8FYjuQfQ_mU90urp06EwmrzL Listen or watch the podcast and leave a comment: https://www.gotolaunchstreet.com/podcasts/ Follow Tamara on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@everyday_innovators Get more resources, downloads and learning opportunities: www.gotolaunchstreet.com

My experience living what I'm calling a "less life" over the past two weeks. The mindset, the actions and the results. Have a question you want Tamara to cover? An idea for a podcast episode? Call the podcast hotline and leave a voicemail! Call (720) 798-4535 Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL736ZmZPS8FYjuQfQ_mU90urp06EwmrzL Listen or watch the podcast and leave a comment: https://www.gotolaunchstreet.com/podcasts/ Follow Tamara on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@everyday_innovators Get more resources, downloads and learning opportunities: www.gotolaunchstreet.com

The 3 mental traps that keep you from unlocking you best brain and life #1 Mental Games #2 Mental Residue #3 Mental Sewers Have a question you want Tamara to cover? An idea for a podcast episode? Call the podcast hotline and leave a voicemail! Call (720) 798-4535 Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL736ZmZPS8FYjuQfQ_mU90urp06EwmrzL Listen or watch the podcast and leave a comment: https://www.gotolaunchstreet.com/podcasts/ Follow Tamara on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@everyday_innovators Get more resources, downloads and learning opportunities: www.gotolaunchstreet.com

The comparison game and how it leads to mediocre success. Have a question you want Tamara to cover? An idea for a podcast episode? Call the podcast hotline and leave a voicemail! Call (720) 798-4535 Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL736ZmZPS8FYjuQfQ_mU90urp06EwmrzL Listen or watch the podcast and leave a comment: https://www.gotolaunchstreet.com/podcasts/ Follow Tamara on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@everyday_innovators Get more resources, downloads and learning opportunities: www.gotolaunchstreet.com

It's easy to believe that your way of doing things or your perspective on a situation is the only one. Or perhaps to believe that your opinions and viewpoints on matters are right, while others are wrong. In this episode I explore how we can all be climbing the same mountain and yet have drastically different experiences. I dig into how two (or more) people can have very different vantage points that lead to different stories, perspective and opinions. However those differing experiences don't have to pull you further apart. In fact, it's actually helpful in so many ways. I also give you a few personal examples to help bring this to life. Tamara's Everyday Innovator style is Risk Taker Experiential. What's yours? Sticky Inspiration: You can be on the same mountain and have very different perspectives Lesson & Action: Recognition, empathy and curiosity create understanding and connection Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn Join our global Everyday Innovators community on Facebook

In a time when people are stressed out and burnt out, it's easy for conflict to occur. Sometimes it seems that the simplest question, conversation, or meeting sparks unnecessary conflict. While you are trying to move your ideas, decisions and projects forward that conflict only leads to spiraling down the negativity drain, stuck in a rut or spinning your wheels in place. I've learned that the key to productive conversations isn't in the objectives, or who is in the room, it's in the questions you ask. In this episode I'm going to cover the key keys for how to ask questions that spark meaningful conversations that move you forward, not conflict that holds you back. Ask open-ended questions (not yes or no questions) Get specific (not general) Ask for a story or example (take out assumptions of understanding) Follow up three times (go deep) Be curious like a kid (push your expertise and knowing aside) Ask about reactions (don't respond to them) Ask what questions you didn't ask (you don't always know what to ask) Tamara's Everyday Innovator style is Risk Taker Experiential. What's yours? Sticky Inspiration: Ask questions that spark conversation, not conflict Lesson & Action: Use one of the 7 keys to change the outcomes of your conversations Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn Join our global Everyday Innovators community on Facebook

Did you know gratitude is more than just saying what you are thankful for? Gratitude is the antidote to fear, anxiety and stress. It's a dose of happiness, wellbeing, and even optimism, despite the odds. Studies have proven that gratitude can actually enhance your creative problem solving abilities. When you experience positive emotions you tap more of your mind. When you are stressed out your thinking is more rigid, reducing your creative thinking. When you are less stressed you are more open to innovative ideas, and able to make more meaningful connections that lead to new ideas. In this episode I explore how gratitude is the gateway to creativity and three steps to help you get grateful in any situation. Tamara's Everyday Innovator style is Risk Taker Experiential. What's yours? Sticky Inspiration: Gratitude is the gateway to your creative mind Lesson & Action: Get grateful, connect emotions and do it daily with intention Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn Join our global Everyday Innovators community on Facebook Raw Podcast Transcript: Welcome back everybody. Your host, Tamara here, author of the Books. Innovation is Everybody's Business and Think Sideways and creator of the Innovation Quotient Edge Assessment. The only tool out there that helps you discover your natural innovator strengths. So that you can ignite innovation, influence others, and make an impact. I am so thankful to be here today, and I think that falls right in line with our topic of discussion for the day, which is gratitude. now, I'm not here today to talk about gratitude in their traditional sense and why you should be a grateful person. I think we all know. We all know that it, you know, leads to a life of abundance. We know that. It makes us feel good. We know we should be thankful for the things that we have had, that we currently have that we're going to achieve. I think that's all a part of it. I think that's all really important. But I'm gonna take a little bit of a different. , did you know that gratitude is more, so much more than just saying what you are thankful for? Gratitude is actually the antidote for fear, anxiety, and stress. It combats all those things. It is actually a dose of happiness. Well, and even optimism despite the odds. Here's the cool part about gratitude. Studies have proven that gratitude can actually enhance your creative problem solving abilities. Isn't that cool? So when you experience positive emotions, you actually tap more of your mind. It's why when I find myself a little bit stuck in a rudd or getting really frustrated because I can't figure out how to do something, or you know, the email I need to write, or the solution to that big problem, whatever it is, instead of just white knuckling through it, sometimes I'll just stop and write out a list of the things that I'm grateful for and get myself into that. not just because I don't wanna be all curmudgeony and negative, I don't want that, but also because I need to tap more of my mind to solve the problem. And the funny part is I often find that when I do that, when I'm stuck and I stop and just take a second to be grateful for things that that solution that I've been looking for, that path to success, that innovative idea that's been alluding me is actually right in front of my face. Funny how that works isn't. According to the Stress Rx founder, Peter slac, hope I'm saying your name right. Gratitude affects the Olympic system of your brain replacing fear, dread, doubt, and cynicism with gratitude, joy, and possibility. Now, I think we all know that fear, dread, doubt, and cynicism, those things suck us under, don't they? They make us insecure. They tend to lead to bad decisions when we. decisions based on fear doesn't often go well, does it more often, not dread, doubt, cynicism. Those things make us feel small, play small. It keeps our ideas close in and incremental, so we never get that. Those innovative, creative solutions are gonna really help us move things forward, but gratitude replaces those with joy and possib. Those are the things that tap more of your brain. So like I was saying, if I feel particularly stuck or kind of in the weeds of a challenge, I can't seem to get my head out of, or if I know I'm going into a stressful situation, like a big meeting or a, a conversation with someone that I know is gonna be tough, I'll actually not just take five minutes to plan out. What am I gonna say? What is the outcome I'm looking for? I'll actually take five minutes to write down what I'm grateful for in the moment. , and I'll also write down how that gratitude makes me feel. I'm gonna talk more about that emotion part in a minute. And often that list includes small things, like a hot cup of coffee or warm house slippers, or big things like the opportunity ahead of me, or the success I've had, or you know, all the everyday innovators in our community that show up to our, on our live events all the time. It can be a range of things. So what I wanna do, For our sticky inspiration and for our lesson for today is I wanna get right to it, and I wanna give you three things that you can do to reduce stress and increase gratitude so that you can get to those innovative ideas. You can get to that place of happiness and joy and possibility because it's in that. that we find the solutions that we're looking for, we find the innovative ideas that push us further faster. Okay. Here's what I want you to do. Number one, I want you to list out 10 things you are grateful for. Now, I know 10 may seem like a lot, but it will push you to look past the obvious and find gratitude in the small and. unnoticed things. I'm gonna share with you in a minute my list, and you'll see as I'm going through my list, some of 'em are pretty obvious and some of 'em, it took me a second to get to them, but once I, once I got there, I was really happy that I did. So, 10 things that you're grateful for. Then number two is I want you to take five minutes to record your. After you make your list, think about the feelings gratitude brings you. Think about the things on your list, how they make you feel. Perhaps it's joy, peace, or just simply feeling less stressed or accomplished. Here's the reason why we do it with emotions. Emotions are like, Best way to say data logs in our brain. And so we wanna connect what we're grateful for with emotions we wanna feel, because that emotions, when we unlock those positive emotions, that's where we unlock our best everyday innovator inside of us. So this will help us connect our brains to the happy feelings that come with gratitude, to the feelings that get us to that better place and lead us to actions. You know, we always talk about being logical creatures with some emotions, but the reality is we're emotional creature. with a little bit of logic or a little bit of action. Emotions drive not just our thinking, but our actions, and they happen fast. So we wanna connect those feelings that we get from the gratitude and the things that we're listing out to the actual emotions that they create, so that we can imprint those on our brain and we can access those quickly and when we need them most. So then number three is practice. Writing down what you're grateful for every day isn't just being about good person. That's all great, but also it's about continuing to open up those creative problem solving skills and positive emotions. It continually puts you into that frame of mind of being the everyday innovator that you are. Now, if you've taken our assessment and you know your everyday innovator style, it will access that. with a snap of a finger. So I'm a risk taker, experiential, so I'm all about bold, tangible innovation. So when I create gratitude, I go into my best self, into my most innovative self, almost instantly. For someone who's a collaborative, inquisitive, who's about whole and deep innovation, right? Doing their gratitude list is gonna access that and their way of being innovative and their think. instantly. For someone who's a futuristic, imaginative who's all about forward novel innovation, it's gonna tap that instantly. So I think practicing gratitude shouldn't just happen in the moments where you need it most. Absolutely use it there, but also if we start to do it every day, we get the compounding benefits of it. So number one, list out 10 things you are grateful for. Push yourself to really list out. Number two, take five minutes to record your emotions, imprint the emotions connected to that list into your brain so that you can tap those feelings, get the benefit of those feelings in that moment and all the other times you need it. And number three, with intention practice daily so that you can step into being an everyday innovator. Every single. All right, so as I was recording this just a few minutes before I hit record, actually, I wrote down the 10 things I'm grateful for today and the emotions that they connected that connected to them. So let me share these with you and you'll see what I mean about why 10 million matters. So number one is the sun window next to me while I work, I have a big, I guess it's called a storybook window. You know when it's kind of like a, so almost a floor ceiling window and it lets in the morning sun and it feels so good against my face, against my arm as I'm working. I love it. So number one, as I love this, I'm so grateful for this window and my little workspace. Number two, I'm so grateful that I can work virtually and from anywhere. And in fact, yesterday I got. From a, how long was I on four or five day trip? Here's the thing. I wanted to go check out this area, this beautiful lake, and um, but I had work to do, I had live events, right? I had a deep dive. I had an innovation jam session. I had some elite coaches, those who are certified, I had an event for them, but guess what? I can work from anywhere. So I worked from this Airbnb on this lake and. Amazing. So I'm so grateful. As tired as I am today, my first day kind of back at my desk, I'm grateful that really with some planning, I can work from just about anywhere. Number three, I'm super grateful for our new puppy barley, who is a St. Bernard. Um, My fiance and I went to Switzerland. In fact, that's where we got engaged and then we fell in love with the area we were in Lake Tune and with St. Bernard's. Oh my gosh, they're the most beautiful, big cuddle buns ever. So we got one, and she's amazing. And her name is Burley. So I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful. Number four, that I have a soon-to-be husband that shares the big dreams that I have, and not just always that they're the same, but. He like me, dreams really big, almost to others, unrealistic, but to us, something to go for. I'm so grateful to be with someone who dreams in a way that others seem unreal, seems unrealistic, and to both of us is like, yeah, that's what we're gonna go for. I love that. It's really important to be with someone who has that same level of dreams that you do. Okay. Number five. I'm grateful for the fact that when I got home last night, The house was only slightly messy. So this morning I only had to spend a little bit cleaning up. The, my two boys were here watching our dog and watching the house and hanging out. And, um, you know, I thought I was gonna come back to a hurricane, but I didn't. So when I woke up this morning, I was grateful that it just took me a few minutes to clean some things up. Thanks boys. All right, number six. I'm grateful for my CrossFit gym, Mach 9 83. I love that place. The community's amazing. The people are amazing. They. , even though I go at five o'clock in the morning, which I know sounds crazy to some people, I just always walk away happier than when I walked in. I just love being with those people. Number seven, I'm grateful for my coffee mug, which is this super cool mug that I got when I was visiting Alaska, and it's black and red and white and it's got that cool kinda like tribal pattern on it. I just love it. Number eight. . I am grateful for the pictures of my family that I have on the wall in front of my desk so that I get to look at them, and it reminds me of the people that I love. Number nine, I'm pretty grateful that the house is quiet right now while I'm recording this. You know, this whole open floor plan seemed like a great idea until we were all home all the time, and now I'm like, I don't know. I think I need a door. So right now I'm pretty grateful that the house is quiet and there isn't so much noise going on that I have to stop every five. I have those days too. Okay. Number 10. The last thing I'm grateful for is the fact that in, when I'm done with this recording, I've gotta pack up, take my boys out for spring break tomorrow. So we're headed on a little road trip and I'm pretty excited to, to get going and explore some new places with them. So I got a lot. That's my 10 to be grateful for. But you can see when you do 10, you gotta really stretch yourself and think about some things that maybe you overlook on a day-to-day basis, like my mug, things like that. I also wanted to share with you that the emotions that I connected with it and that I want to imprint in my brain. So there's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 of them. So the first one is I feel accomplished in myself. Like I built a business that allows me to work virtually, that I work with amazing people. I've got this globe full of everyday innovators. That's just so cool and all of you impact me and teach me so much so, but I feel accomplished that I worked hard to get to this place and I've got more than I wanna accomplish. But that sense of accomplishment actually keeps me going. The second emotion I wrote down is satisfied. I'm satisfied that I'm doing my best, trying my best, giving it my all going for those unrealistic dreams. Number three is happiness just makes me happy. My mug makes me happy. Drinking coffee out of it makes me happy. Looking at my family makes me happy, and that leads me to my second emotion, which of course is love. I look around, I'm surrounded by the people and the things that remind me of those people and experiences that I. The next one I wrote down was excitement. Um, you know, I've got some more travel coming, I've got more big things happening at work. So that leads to excitement. And that excitement for me is like a bunch of really excited butterflies that forced me into action because the butterflies are excited to get going. And then lastly, the other emotion I had was hunger, right? In an emotional sense to achieve more. So, I look at all these things and I get so grateful, and then I'm grateful for the fact that I'm gonna keep going and that there's more to achieve. And it makes me a little. So accomplished, satisfied, happy, love, excitement, hunger. Those are the emotions that are attached to these. And as you can see, I'm grateful for a lot of things, big and small for my 10 things here today. And those emotions really matter because those are the emotions that unlock. The creative problem solving the strategic thinking. I mean, just to really sum it all up, it unlocks your everyday innovator mind, which I'll tell you again, the research has shown as we dug into the neuroscience, behavioral psychology of it all. Being innovative is universal. We all do it. However, how we innovate is unique to each of us, and in fact, have you have not gone and taken the iqe, the innovation, quotion Edge assessment. And discovered your everyday innovator style. I would jump over to the website and do it. I'm sure there's a link in the show notes on our webpage everywhere else. Go to launch street.com as a website. You can find it there. I would encourage you to go do that because knowing how you innovate is gonna make it so much easier to access. Knowing your strengths. It's gonna make it so much easier, less stressful, less exhausting. For you to actually become that everyday innovator across work and life and being that everyday innovator is what gets you what you're going after. That was so not articulate, , but you get my point, right? It's what gets you to your goals and your dreams and what gets you around and under and through those brick walls that are holding you back, kind of both mentally and right in front of you, in reality, in real world. So go take the assessment. , if you haven't. There are nine triggers, ways that we as human innovate, and what each of us has is something called a unique everyday innovator style. No two are alike. Where we have two that are our top two power triggers, our wellspring of innovation, and then one dormant trigger, which is our least powerful play. So for example, I'm an a risk taker and experiential, that's my power. Those are my power triggers. My dormant trigger is collaborative. I will talk more about what that really means. What I want you to do, forget about me, is I want you to find out about you and how you. and when we're done with this podcast, how about you go write up 10 things that you're grateful for, write down those emotions and make gratitude a part of your everyday practice so that you can be an everyday innovator all day, every day. Tamara Out.

We've been told that the best approach to life (and work) is to only focus on what you can control and to accept what's out of your control. I think that's very wrong, and here's why... What's in our control is important as it is our internal emotions and responses to situations and some of the actions we can take. But, stopping there only minimizes our sense of confidence and momentum. I believe If we stop at what's in our control we almost become victims of our environment. I also believe, and have experienced, that there is this gray zone I call the "sphere of influence" that actually holds a lot of space for innovation, influence and impact. In your sphere of influence you have more ability to take action and impact outcomes. In this episode I'm going to break down the problem with in and out of control thinking, how to leverage the "sphere of influence" and 3 key questions to ask yourself to help you identify where you can innovate, influence and impact any situation. Tamara's Everyday Innovator style is Risk Taker Experiential. What's yours? Sticky Inspiration: If you focus on the "sphere of influence" you'll gain confidence, momentum and make an impact Lesson & Action: Ask the three influence questions to help you leverage the "sphere of influence" Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn Join our global Everyday Innovators community on Facebook Raw Podcast Transcript: Hello. Hello everyone. Tamara here, your host, creator of the Innovation Quotient Edge Assessment, founder of Launch Street and Experiential Risk Taker. Oh, and also lover of a good charcuterie board. As my kids know, because for the holidays they got me a charcuterie board. They know me so well. Love it. It's like the perfect foods all on. Wood slab, it's the best. So for today, I wanna talk about a topic, or I guess a mindset, a way of being that is pretty close to my heart right now. I've been going through a lot of changes, some of 'em, really positive and really exciting. Some of 'em a little intimidating, a little scary, you know, like on the positive side. We just had a thousand people this morning take the innovation quotient edge assessment and discover their everyday innovator style. I think that's the most we've ever had in one morning. That's exciting. On maybe a more scar or intimidating side, my oldest is going to college in a few months and we're in the process of doing the housing application, putting down the down payments, and just the realization that he's maybe in this house for a couple more. It's a change. It's a little bit scary. It's, it's exciting. At the same time, I'm happy for him, but also, you know, as mom, I'm like, oh, my baby's leaving. So a lot of change going on, and I think a lot of change in the world right now too. I think that's just a constant that we're dealing with. And so I wanna talk about a topic that's really all about tackling. Change with some confidence and some control. And in fact, I wanna talk about the concept of in control versus outta control. And I wanna bring to light the space in between that we often miss that I call the sphere of influence. I think understanding the sphere of influence can help you navigate forward with more ease, less stress, and a little bit more confidence. And. So here's the thing. I want you to visualize my sticky note for a moment. And there's a person in the corner of a stick figure and in their hand, they're holding a tiny little ball, and that ball represents everything that we feel is in our control. That tiny little globe of control and outside of that is everything that is out of our control. What we often talk about is don't worry about the things that are out of control. Only focus on on what you can control. The challenge I'm finding though, is that space of out of control seems to be getting bigger and bigger, and the space, that little globe that you can hold in your hand, that is everything that you have in control is getting smaller and smaller, or at least not growing. So let's, let's put some context behind it so you know what's out of our control. Well, we can't control the motives of others. We can't control how other people decide to. to see us. We can't control the weather. We can't control, you know, what's happening at the big global, even federal level. We can't control whether might your organization decides to reorg or lay off people or change the system. We can't control what's happening on the other end of the table. Sometimes the people that we're talking to, um, we can't control what happens with, you know, the coronavirus or any of those other things out there in the world. We can't control war that's happening in other c. , we can't control the greater housing issue or unemployment. You get my point, right? I could go on and on and on, but all the things that are out of our control, in fact, I'm pretty sure you could add a few to that list. But as you can see, the fricking list just goes on and on and on, and more and more is getting thrown into that area. So when I talk to people today, what they tell me and how I feel too is. what's out of control seems to be getting bigger and bigger and harder and harder to manage even more out of control, if that's possible. So, you know, if I were to do a word cloud and surround you with everything that's out of your control, not only is it getting bigger and bigger, but it's things that are scarier and a little bit more overwhelming because the, not only they're outta your control, but they have the possibility of impacting you. Great. , do you feel that? Do you sometimes feel like the weight of the world and all the things that are out of your control weigh on your shoulders even though you can't control them? I, I have to say, I really feel like that there are days where I just look around this and everything that's happening and all the things that are out of my control and it's spinning around me and you know, I know that I have no control over it and I know that pretty much anything I do is not gonna really impact it. And I get overwhelmed or I. Frustrated. It doesn't stop me moving forward. It doesn't stop me in doing the, taking the actions I need to take or making the decisions I am. I'm good at plowing right through. But there are days where, gosh, especially after I watch the news note to self, stop doing that. So every time I watch the news, I just think, wow, wow. All this stuff is so big, you so outta my control. And sometimes the things that are outta your control are things that are in your own home or in your own work. Reorganization, a new boss, a colleague that you're not getting along with. Like all those things that it's kind of feels like other people out there doing it to you or maybe in your home. Like, I can't control the fact that my son is going off to college. I mean, I guess I could, I could not pay for it, but I'm not gonna do that, right? That is part of the natural cycle of life, right? So of course that's gonna happen. But even the little things in your own world feel can feel out of your control. I'm gonna tell you right now, you know what feels most out of my control on a daily. My laundry, I cannot get it out of control. I used to joke that my laundry was like wildfire because we talk about it in how it was contained. Like laundry today is 10% contained, meaning I had too much to do. Or if I felt like I'd gone through a lot of laundry, it was 90% contained. So a lot of things in your everyday life, they feel out of control. So I think I've made my point. If you're feeling like your heart is racing a little bit and you're getting stressed out listening to this podcast, I think at this point you should, because we're talking about what you cannot control. So there's a light, by the way, at the end of this tunnel. So stick with me here. And then you've got that little globe that you're holding in your hand. That's what you can control. And most of that is what happens inside you internally, right? So I can't control the reorging, my company, but I can control how I think about it. I can control my mindset, I can control. Response. I can control my emotional response. I can control my words and how I choose to communicate with others. I can co choose the, I can choose the actions that I take. I'm gonna share a story about that in a little bit. But you see my point here, out of control is kind of everything spinning around you. And then what's in control is mostly internally, right? How you think, how you respond, how you behave, and I think a lot of what's in control. , it's about the actions that you take and the things that you think that help you sleep well at night, meaning you act in alignment with who you want to be. You know, when I let my emotions take control, when I don't put them in my little globe of in control and I respond in a way that I don't like later, right? It's an emotional outburst. It's a negative response that you know, has me playing the low ground versus the high ground. . I don't sleep well at night because I know that's not who I want to be. And I don't always, in fact, don't often let that happen, but it does. Every now and again, it gets the best of me. It does for all of us. And we just have to remember that that's the stuff that's in our control. And I think those things, by the way, are really important. So I'm not minimizing them with what I'm gonna say next. I think how you think your mindset, how you choose to respond to a person or a situation. how you choose to act in light of situations or outer your control, say a lot about you. And a lot of people abdicate that, and that's not okay in my book. And anytime I have not acted in a way that's in alignment, I, I feel it and I own it and I recognize it. And so we've gotta really hold on to those things that are in our control. They make us happier, they make us c. , they make us feel like we're moving forward. But I wanna talk about for the rest of it, and the part that we missed, because there's this area in the center that's like the gray zone. Cause we have all this stuff outside our control. We have this little very important globe in the holding in our hands of what's in control. But there's this gray space in the middle, and that gray space in the middle is what I call the sphere of. and the sphere of influence isn't places that are completely in our control, like how we respond, our mindset, our actions, but they are things that we can make an impact on greater than we initially think We can. Let me share with you some personal and professional examples for myself and others to really highlight what I mean by this sphere of influence. So I'm, I'm gonna start with a work example from one of our everyday innovators in our community, Colleen. Colleen. Was posting on the private platform that her company just did a reorg and she was very frustrated because this reorg meant there was another layer of people between her and the kind of the VPs, the, the high levels. So she used to have a direct line to the people that made decisions so she could influence, she could impact, she could connect. They knew her, she knew them, right. That was good for her work. It was good for her career. It was good for her, her personal and, and professional development and. , but this reorg put a whole nother layer of people, middle managers, between her and the people that were making the decisions. And so in her mind, she's one step away from the people that matter. She's gonna get less recognized, she's gonna be put on fewer of the important projects that she wants to be on, and she doesn't have a direct line to impact the decisions that are being made so you can understand her frustration. So we did this whole thing around sphere of influence in this, in this workshop that we did for our community and. She emailed me later. It was such a wonderful email. I was so, so excited when I received it because she basically said that this was game changing. She said, she told me, here's what she did. She goes, after that workshop, she actually decided that she was gonna influence the situation. She couldn't impact it. She can't control it, right? She can't change the fact that this reorg happened, but she can influence that she. So what she did is she went to her new bosses and to her old VPs and she said, Hey, because we now have this new organization and I think it's gonna work for our better, I wanna make sure we don't lose touch with each other, that we don't end up siloing communication and work and doubling efforts where it's unnecessary. So what I'd like to do is I'd like to host a monthly town hall meeting or team meeting with these new middle managers and the VP so that we can hear best practice. Hear challenges. I think it'll help everybody as we get used to this new structure. Stay in the loop, make smart decisions and connect with each other so that we don't silo. We don't double up. Well, they were thrilled because you know what? Guess what? They were having those same worries. They were worried about the siloing and the doubling up of work and being disconnected from the work being happen, happen from the work happening. Try that one three times. So she has this meeting and she said it was wonderful. They loved it. They got so much out of it. They asked her to keep doing it every month. So she couldn't control the reorg, but she did influence the outcome in a big way. So I want you to think about where do you actually have more influence than you think you do? May not be in your control, but you might be able to influence how it goes, and especially how it goes for. So let me share a couple personal examples in this way too. And it kind of goes to what I was saying earlier about being in alignment with who you are. So I have someone in my world who, hmm, at the best, doesn't like me. at the worst hates me. Probably more of the worst. And I'm not gonna say names, I'm not gonna give specifics cause I don't believe in throwing people under the bus, as you know. But I wanna share the story cause I think it highlights influence. And so, what's out of my control, her perception of me. It actually has nothing to do with me and everything to do with do with her fear of change, her situation, kind of being territorial, not wanting other people to step in. So this has nothing to do with me, and I know that. Right. I know. I, I have empathy actually for where she's coming from. I, I get it right. She, there's all this change happening around her. Things are moving forward without her, and she's feeling left behind. I totally get it. So I can't control that though. I can't control her situation. I can't control. . Her perception of me, what's in my control, well, how I respond to her when I interact with her. Right? I can't. And oh, and I can't control that. She's in my life in some way. So she is, whether I like it or not. So what can I control? Well, how I respond to her. I can control the actions that I take. So there was this one point where we were all gonna be meeting up and her included, and I have so much stress and anxiety going into it because I. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to spend time with this person. I don't like this person. Worst kid. The person doesn't like me. And she, she tends to show it. is probably the best way to say it. She, she's pretty clear in her dislike for me, and so I'm sitting there thinking, all right, so what's in my control? Well, as nasty as she is to me, I can just respond with a smile and just let it go. Right? Be like tough, long, let it bounce off. But I think you and I both know that as much as we say that in the moment. , it is extremely hard. It's hard, right? Because, you know, you're, you're bumping up against massive toxicity and resistance. So I get to this situation, I'm feeling all stressed out because what's in my control still makes me feel a little bit small, and I realize, all right, Tamara, go back to the sphere of influence. So what can you influence? All right, again, I can't control her perception of me or her situation. But I can influence how I behave at this party. So what did I do? Well, I was responsible for bring, bringing cupcakes to this party. And, um, without going into too much detail, the, the, the short of it is they were kind of customized cupcakes for the people that we were celebrating. So I thought, well, I could leave her out and not make cupcakes for her. Right? So each person that we're celebr. , they had their name on the cupcake, and I thought, well, I could just not make 'em for her. I know she doesn't like me. I know anything I do is gonna be taken the wrong way. So what's the point right now? I can, I can control my response and I can smile and I can not be negative, but I wanna go back to that sphere of influence. And I thought, you know what? I'm gonna do? I, I'm gonna put her name on the cupcakes too, because here's the thing, I'm not a mean girl. I don't wanna be a mean girl, and I will never. Put myself in a situation where I behave like a mean girl because I will not sleep at night. That is not in alignment with who I am. And so I thought, all right, in my sphere of influence, I can be inclusive, and how she chooses to respond or not respond is up to her. So I make these cupcakes for this party that everybody that we're celebrating, I add her name to it. Now, does she suddenly love me and I'm her bff? Not in any way whatsoever. not at all. Her feelings are still the same for me. Mine are still the same for her, but guess what? I influenced. That event cuz I walked in with more confidence and being inclusive like that made the party a bigger hit so everybody felt connected and there was no weirdness about who was in, who was out. Everybody had a great time at this party. I was able to influence that in my tiny little part with bringing these cupcakes. . I hope that story kind of resonates with some of you because oftentimes the situations that we're dealing with have to do with how we respond to someone in the room, and whether that person is at work, maybe they're a family member, uh, maybe they're a client, maybe they're a kid, maybe they're a spouse, maybe they're a family of your spouse. They're in-laws or connected. We can't control their response to us. We can't control how they think about us. We can't control what motivates them. We can't control their. , but we can influence the situations that were put in. And that's where I think the sphere of influence is so powerful. And sometimes I, here's the real deal, sometimes I overestimate my ability to influence. But in thinking about that sphere of influence, I always, always find a way to make the situation, to make the environment, to make the relationship, whatever it is a little bit. and I, so I think this narrative of only focusing on what's in control and forget everything else actually doesn't serve us because at least in my experience, it still leaves me frustrated and angry and not getting what I want out of the situation because I feel helpless, right? All I'm controlling is what's inside me, but if I can influence how things impact me, I can have a better. , I can get more of what I want and what I deserve. And that's what I think for you as well is don't just think about it as this little ball of control and out control. Think of your dotted line sphere of influence that goes a little bit out from that ball of control into the out of control world. And in that gray area is a lot of opportunity. And just like Colleen, the client who was talking about the reorg that actually ended up working in her, Ben, thinking through her sphere of influence and coming up with that idea for that monthly town hall team meeting, she actually now is being recognized for that effort and being promoted. Fear of influence. So think about your world, think about what's out of control. Maybe even write it all down. Don't hold back. Think about what's in control, but your internal world. Think about your sphere of influence, because that is where the action is. That's where you can take action to get to better results. Here's the other thing I found is feeling more in control and putting some action behind sphere of influence makes me happier. Maybe it's the momentum I get. Maybe it's the confidence I get. Maybe it's knowing that I've done my best. I'm not sure exactly where it comes from, but I can tell you that I feel more confident and happier when I focus on my sphere of influence. I really hope that you'll do the same as you move forward today and through this week. If you're not sure how to start thinking about your sphere of influence, if you haven't thought about it in this way before, let me give you some questions to get you started. One question might be, what can I do to influence this situation? Not what can I do to change the situation? Very different. What can I do to influence the situation? Another question might be, what's one action I can. To impact what's happening Again, not change, not control, impact what's happening. The third question might be, how can I change this into an opportunity for me? I think even asking that question, you start to see the gaps in the holes where you might actually be able to fill them in a very positive way. Tamara out.

Do you ever find yourself stuck, or even moving further away from your goals, despite your best efforts? You work harder than ever before to only find yourself stuck in the same place, or worse even more behind. You double down only to find yourself with your head barely above water. I think of these moments like rip tides in the ocean. In this episode I'm going to share my experience in getting stuck in an actual rip tide, what I had to do to get out of it, and how that experience became an invaluable life lesson about what not to do. I hope in hearing about my experience you'll learn a few things about what to do, why doubling down and working harder is the opposite of what you should do, and how to get out of those exhausitng rip tides of life. Tamara's Everyday Innovator style is Risk Taker Experiential. What's yours? Sticky Inspiration: Doubling down on what you've always done will only get you further away from your goals Lesson & Action: To get out of the rip tides of life you need to think (or swim) sideways Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn Join our global Everyday Innovators community on Facebook

You know that how you communicate with others can be the key to good or bad relationships. It can be the key to success or failure at work. It can be the key to getting momentum or getting stuck in life. In this episode I'm going to share the three words I've been using for years to propel me, my relationships, and my work forward. These three words will make sure that you aren't having conversations led by your primal brain that is reactive, have deeper more meaningful connections and get to the outcomes you are looking for. These three words have the power to change your life. Tamara's Everyday Innovator style is Risk Taker Experiential. What's yours? Sticky Inspiration: "Tell me more" are the three most poweful words and will impact your life Lesson & Action: Don't let the primal brain take over. Instead go deeper with "Tell me more." Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn Join our global Everyday Innovators community on Facebook Raw Podcast Transcript: Hey. Hey everybody. Tamara here, your host and risk taker, experiential, everyday innovator, and I think it's safe to say I enjoy running. Hmm. More on that later. I'm not sure. Yeah, you can tell the question in my voice. I've been doing a lot of it lately and I think I might be coming to enjoy. It just goes to show you that something that you think you hate or you're bad at may actually be something you enjoy if you give it enough. Okay, that's for another podcast today. The sticky inspiration behind this podcast is actually an experience that I had that actually changed how I communicate and really elevated my ability to get buy-in. So one of the struggles I often hear from everyday innovators across the globe is that, Struggle not to innovate. They've unlocked their ability to innovate. They are creative problem solvers, they're strategic thinkers. But it's then the second step, which is getting buy-in for your ideas. It's no fun trying to push a boulder uphill by your, by yourself or beyond an island, or whatever analogy you wanna use. , it's really does suck When you've got an idea that you know is a solution to a problem that you know is gonna propel you forward, that you know is gonna solve something in your work and in your life that you know is a great opportunity to go after, to only have whomever it is sitting across the table from you, give you the thumbs down, even though you know is a great idea. So I wanna share a story with you about an experience that I had that is what changed. As I was saying, how I communi. Innovative ideas and how I get buy-in for innovative ideas and how I get other people on the journey to being everyday innovators, thinking differently and seeing their own problems and opportunities. So early on in my career, I was recruited to head up the strategic arm of a marketing firm in New York City, and our parent company was one of the largest advertising agencies in the world, and they were based in Chicago. So when I was recruited to take on this job, not only was I the youngest person in an executive role that they had ever hired, so I had a lot to prove, but also the department, the strategic arm of this advertising agency. Hadn't been created yet. So my first job was to figure out what this department was gonna be about. Meaning what services did we provide? What clients did we go after? What type of pricing did we give to our clients? So all of the stuff, right, to set the stage. And then I had to go out and it and sell it and bring in the millions. So every couple of weeks I had to fly to Chicago and present to my bosses. Think of 'em as my internal board of directors. There were about six of 'em, and at every stage I had to go present to them what my thinking was, where I was, their research, all that, and then get to the next level. One time there was this really important meeting, so this was the meeting where I was gonna get the thumbs up that I needed to get the resources that were critical for actually launching this department. So this presentation had to go well. In fact, it had to go better than, well, it needed to be exceptional. I needed thumbs up from everybody in the room so that I could go back and actually make this thing happen. So I had about three months to prepare for this presentation, and I spent more hours than I can count, creating the most beautiful. PowerPoint presentation you have ever seen. I labored over every image. It mattered. What did it say? How did it say it? Every picture had to be right. Every word had to be just right. I'm telling you, this might be the most beautiful presentation I have ever put together to this day. And then I spent hours, hours, roleplaying in the mirror. I thought of every question they could possibly ask me, every objection they could possibly have, and I had answers. For everything. I practiced it all. So then the day of the big meeting arrives. So I fly to Chicago, I go up to the executive floor, open the doors to the green carpet. Now mind you, this is the only floor with this beautiful carpeting in it because it's the, you know, the executive suite. So I'm in the conference room with my internal board of directors, and I'm presenting, and I'm crushing it. I'm doing such a good job. I am c. , I am on point. My, my presentation is beautiful. It is drawing them in. So good. And as I'm finishing up the presentation, I look over and I see one of my bosses give me a thumbs up and I think, yep. Nailing it. And then I look over and my main boss gives me two thumbs up. So now I'm about to pat myself on the back. I'm thinking, yep, I'm getting the resources, the money, everything that I need to make this happen. This is, my dreams are coming true. , but then one of my internal board of directors raised her hand and she asked me a very challenging question, or at least I perceived it as very challenging and. I turned too mush. I went into freeze. My primal brain took over and I was panicking. I didn't know what to do. I was getting sweaty and hot and I couldn't see straight. I just, and all that research, all that confidence was just out of my brain. It was like scrambled eggs up in my head. I did not know what to do. I was so panicked and in an effort to just buy myself some time and get my feet under. . I stopped and I looked at her and I said, that's an interesting question. Tell me more. The most amazing thing happened. First of all, I had a chance to get my feet under me. So stress lives in the neurological system. And where research has shown is that it takes us about three deep breaths to calm our neurological system, get ourselves out of that unnecessary fight, flight, or freeze, and into our higher thinking, into a calmer self, you know, decrease our heart rate. So I had a chance to calm myself down, get my feet under me, compose myself, and pull back my thinking. but something else happened that was really interesting, and it's actually the point of this story. She started to talk. She started getting herself out of her primal brain. She started to tell me why she asked the question, the reason behind it, her past experience that led to her concern. She started to talk herself into solutions to her own obstacle. See, here's what. . We're not the only one in our primal brains all the time with our emotions and our lizard brain driving our decisions and our reactions. So are the people on the other side of the table, the people you're trying to get buy-in from. And oftentimes, particularly in today's world, where we've been dealing with unprecedented, unprecedented levels of stress and anxiety. this kind of primal brain stress living has become this insidious part of our lives. So while the primal brain and stress used to be this response, it was like, you know, fight, flight, or freeze, right? It happens in an instant and it goes away. Now we're living in this brain more than we like to think we are. And sh she in asking that question, was coming from a reactive place, right? Something set her off. But in asking her, oh, that's an interesting question. Tell me more. , it actually gave her a chance to open up. She got to calm down. She got her three breaths, and she talked and told me everything I needed and went deeper and deeper and deeper. And we got to have a real conversation about what matters and drive to some innovative solutions. Not only did I get buy in from my ideas that day because of that moment, because of, tell me more, but our conversation helped strengthen the ideas I was present. tell me more. Are the three most magical words when you put them together. And so if you wanna get buy-in for your ideas, if you wanna communicate in a way that gets people on board with your thinking, that takes them along for the journey, instead of trying to answer their question, instead of trying to resist their resistance, instead of trying to convince them, convey more inform. Just stop and say, Hmm, that's interesting. Tell me more. People will always talk if there's a vacuum to fill, believe me, people fill it. Tell me more. Has been my not so secret weapon in getting people on board with my thinking and opening up new ideas in moving things forward, getting traction, and it's so simple, isn't it? It seems so basic saying, tell me. , but we're humans. We wanna jump to solution. We wanna look smart. We don't wanna look stupid, right? We have a fear of looking like idiots and someone asking us us. A question feels confrontational. Remember at the beginning of the story I had said she asked a challenging question. So I think she did ask in a challenging way, but even more so, I took it really personally in that moment. That's why I went into freeze, because not only did I not have the answer, I often don't have the answer that doesn't rattle me. , but I thought she was challenging my authority and suddenly my panic of, oh my God, I'm not getting a yes. This is so stupid. What have I done? That is the voice that kicked in and that's why my brain went to scrambled eggs. So the next time you're in a situation where you're trying to get the person on the other side of the, of the table to buy into whatever it is you're talking. and they ask you a question instead of trying to answer it, even if you think it's obvious, in fact, especially when you think it's obvious, I want you to stop and just say, oh, that's interesting. Tell me more. Now, the story that I just shared is work. So let's talk for a moment about how powerful, tell me more can be in your personal life as well with your family, your friends, your relat. Have you ever been in an argument with your significant other or boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, siblings, kids, whomever it is. We, you probably argue with all of them. I know I do at some point in my life and it's just going nowhere. Everybody's digging in their heels. The, the volume's getting louder and by the end of it, it's that agree to disagree moment, which really doesn't resolve anything. And sure enough, six months. , that argument comes back. Here's what I found. The reason those arguments are so frustrating, don't go anywhere and never get resolved. And then of course, come back around at some point or another is because we are having a conversation on the surface. So in that work story I just shared about presenting my ideas and that one internal board member. I mentioned the fact that the, the challenge we were having is both of us were on the surface in our primal brain. So her question and where she was coming from was in her primal brain because she was set off. And then my response or lack of was also coming from my primal brain. And tell me more, gave us both the chance to calm down and dig deeper. Well, in your personal life, this applies doesn. , you get in an argument, you're on the surface. Nobody's really getting anywhere. Nobody's taking a moment to understand beneath the surface, and the entire argument is happening in your primal brain. Now, if you've known me long enough, you know that I've actually named my primal brain. Research has actually shown that if you name it, you take it out of the driver's seat, right? You can actually manage a little better. So my primal brain is named Bernard, and when I let Bernard take over, He is very stubborn. He digs in his heels and he wants to convince the other person why he is 100% right, and they are 100% wrong. But when I have a chance to calm down and when I have a chance to get outta my primal brain, brain and dig a little bit deeper, and Bernard gets a little quieter, instead of trying to convince a person that I'm a hundred percent right, I try to actually understand where they're coming. And get to a deeper real conversation that'll actually move us forward. When I lived in New York City, I had a boyfriend for part of that for about two years. His name was David. and every Friday night after a long week of work for both of us, we would go out to dinner and we got into this routine where I would pick the place to go to dinner. Now, just to date myself, this was before Yelp and TripAdvisor and really the internet. So you had this little book called Zag Getts, and Zagats was the end all, be all of restaurant reviews. And just so you know, if you had one of the latest additions of the Z. Restaurant guide you were considered super cool. It was like a badge of honor if you got it before everybody else. So funny to think about that. But on, so on the weekends we would go out to eat and I would pick the restaurant and so he'd get home from his job. I usually got home before him. We changed and I'd say, okay, here's the place I picked. Let's go. Well, what Friday? Never forget. He got so mad at me for. Picking this restaurant and out of nowhere, it's like we were walking down the street and he just starts, I don't wanna go to this restaurant. I've heard bad things from other people about this restaurant. I don't know why you picked this restaurant. And he's practically yelling at me on the street corner about this stupid restaurant. And I'm, I'm a little bit shocked. And so what do I do? Well, I start, are you going back? Well, the review said this, I heard this. The menu has this, we could do this another time. We could go to a different restaurant. Another time. We're going to this one. and I'm convincing him, well, don't you want some good pasta? Don't you want some good Capri salad? Right? So I'm arguing about the restaurant we're going to, and then I remembered what happened and my, tell me more situation that it happened in work not too long prior. And so I turned to him after his last yelling moment and I said, oh, that's interesting. Tell me more. So at first there was this moment of silence between us and I thought, uhoh, I'm not sure this is gonna work. But as we're sitting there in that moment of silence, first of all, once again, I got a chance to calm down. And that was good for both of us too, cuz I was getting severely riled up on that street corner. We were just going at it. And then he looked at me and he said, you always pick the restaurants. I never get a say in. , it would be nice if I could contribute to our Friday evening dinners and not just be told where to go and I sta I stayed quiet and then he said I spent all week being told directions, being told what to do, being given advice. It'd be nice if when I came home that didn't happen. Oh. . Well, that is something I could respond to. So I whipped out the Zagats book. I handed it to him and I said, you know what? You're absolutely right. I was simply trying to make it easy for you because I know your work is very stressful. You worked out on Wall Street. I said, so how about this? How about you pick one? I'll pick one. And then between the two, we'll decide which one we want to go to. The entire situation was diff. and we ended up going to this other re restaurant, which was absolutely delightful. But do you see the point of the story there? It wasn't about the restaurant at all. And most oftentimes, our arguments, our debates, our conversations with the people in our lives are not about whatever it is that started the conversation. Tell me more. Allows us to go so much. I'm so thankful I had that conversation because I was over there, you know, from my perspective, trying to be helpful, thinking, oh, this is making it easy for him, and he's coming home and thinking, why doesn't she let me make any decisions? We were coming from two different places and we didn't even know it. And when he realized that all I was doing was trying to make it easy for him, he calmed down. He became appreciative of my. and at the same time I calmed down and realized his perspective. Tell me more. Works in trying to get buy-in for your ideas. It works in debates and in arguments because you get all those layers deeper, so the next time you are in an argument, you're trying to get buy-in for your ideas, you're trying to make a decision to move forward in some way instead. Of trying to convince instead of digging in your heels, instead of instantly jumping to that primal brain, just stop and say, huh, tell me more. And with that, Tamara out.