Overview

A stranger in a hotel lobby asks Jim for life advice while they're both waiting on an Uber. That 20-minute conversation — with a VP in his 40s with young kids and a woman going through a divorce — becomes the backbone of this episode.

Jim and Mark unpack what Jim said, why he said it, and what it means to offer perspective instead of advice when someone is genuinely ready to listen. The conversation covers failure, fear, the choice to grow bitter or better, the power of showing up, and why human connection is becoming one of the rarest things a man can find.

This one sits right at the center of the IMC flywheel. Profession, relationships, money, health, worldview — all of it moves through what happens when life hits you and you have to decide what to do next.

Key Themes

1. Perspective Over Advice

Jim's first instinct when the stranger asked for advice was to not give any. He doesn't give advice anymore. He offers perspective — grounded in lived experience — because the only thing worse than no advice is bad advice. Mark echoes this. In their coaching work, the goal isn't to tell people what to do. It's to ask better questions, share honest observations, and let the person find their own answer.

2. The Question Itself Is the Signal

Jim noticed something before he said a word. The man asked the question at all. Jim called it a sign of emotional intelligence — the willingness to say, I don't know everything, and I'm open. Mark made the point that people who ask a lot of questions tend to be more intelligent, more humble, and more effective than people who lead with answers. Asking is a skill most men haven't been taught to respect.

3. Stage of Life Changes Everything

Jim didn't answer the man's question in a vacuum. He was thinking about where the guy was in life — 40 years old, two kids, a wife, a VP title, still figuring it out — and about the woman sitting nearby, early stages of a divorce, whole different set of fears. The same perspective lands completely differently depending on where someone is standing. Jim factored both of them into his answer without either of them knowing he was doing it.

4. The 80-20 Rule and the Power of Showing Up

Jim kept it simple. Two things. First, the Pareto Rule: 80% of your results come from 20% of your effort. Understand it. Apply it everywhere — business, relationships, time, energy. Second, 90% of life is showing up. Show up on time, show up prepared, show up with a good attitude. Do that consistently and you've already lapped most of the competition. The reason people can't show up is that they've let failure stop them. That's the thing Jim went straight to next.

5. Bitter or Better — It's a Decision

This is the core of the episode. It's not what happens to you. It's how you respond to what happens to you. Jim said it to both of them — the man worried about where his career was headed and the woman at the beginning of a divorce — because both of them were at a fork. You can grow bitter. Or you can grow better. By default, most people drift toward bitter. Staying bitter is easier. Getting better takes a decision and then the work that follows it.

Jim put it another way: don't let negative events define you. Let them refine you.

6. Fear as Fuel

Jim saw fear in the man's eyes. Not panic — something more useful. The kind of fear that says, I need to figure this out. Mark made the distinction between fear that's life-threatening and fear that just risks embarrassment or criticism. If the worst case is someone laughs at you, that's a risk worth taking. Mark brought up public speaking. You're sweating through your shirt, shaking, forgetting your lines — and the audience isn't mocking you. They're watching someone with the guts to stand up there. Most people in the room could never do it.

7. Human Connection Is Getting Rarer

Both Jim and Mark noticed something about the lobby conversation. It happened in person. Eye contact. No screens between them. No performance. Just two strangers and one person willing to be honest. Jim had been at a major industry conference all week and still found that a 20-minute Uber wait produced one of the more meaningful conversations he'd had. Mark connected it to something bigger: social media, AI, division — all of it is pulling people further apart. Human connection is becoming a differentiator. The men who can still do it well are going to stand out.

8. Therapy, Root Causes, and What IMC Is Building

Jim raised therapy — not to dismiss it, but to name something he's observing. People are bragging about it. Some are outsourcing decisions to their therapist. Mark's take: therapy can be valuable, but treating symptoms without getting to the root cause doesn't fix anything. He went through seven therapists in his marriage counseling. None of them had the lived experience to meet him where he was. What Jim and Mark are building is something different — not consulting, not therapy. A framework for self-awareness, honest reflection, and accountability across the five areas of a man's life. Wisdom delivered in context.

9. Self-Awareness Is the Starting Point

The center of the IMC flywheel has always been the self. Self-awareness. Self-evaluation. Self-reflection. Jim noticed it in both strangers — they had it. That's probably part of why they were at the conference in the first place and in the roles they were in. Most people skip this step. They jump straight to the problem without being honest about how they got there. The framework starts here, and everything else follows.

Why This Episode Matters

Because most men are going to hit a season — or they're already in one — where someone or something knocks them sideways. A divorce. A stalled career. A relationship that's falling apart. A version of themselves they don't recognize anymore. And in that moment, the only real question is what they do next. This episode is about that choice. Bitter or better. It's not complicated. But it's not easy either. And it's always a decision.

Episode Overview

In this episode, Mark and Jim finally dive into a topic they've avoided for four years:

The differences between men and women.

Not to offend. Not to "win." Not to declare conclusions.

But to reflect.

Through the lens of the IMC framework—starting at the center with self-awareness—they explore how masculinity and femininity show up in relationships, communication, intimacy, marriage, and even cultural confusion.

This conversation is less about answers… and more about honest observation.

The Framework Behind the Conversation

Everything begins at the center of the IMC wheel:

Self → Self-Awareness → Self-Reflection

Mark shares a recent moment of overwhelm sparked by simple tension in conversations with his girlfriend and daughter. Nothing explosive. Just subtle disagreement. Emotional differences. Misread intentions.

That reflection opens the door to a broader question:

Have we stopped acknowledging real differences between men and women… and started treating them as problems instead?

What Is Self-Reflection?

They ground the episode with a definition:

Self-reflection is the intentional process of examining your thoughts, actions, and motivations to increase self-awareness, improve emotional intelligence, and foster personal growth.

It's stepping back. It's asking better questions. It's choosing not to react automatically.

And in relationships, that might be the most important skill of all.

Communication: Where It Breaks Down

A central theme of the episode:

Most relationships don't fail from one big explosion. They fail from slow communication decay.

Mark reflects on how, in his marriage, they simply stopped talking about hard things.

Jim shares how he and his wife intentionally have deep annual conversations about the state of their marriage.

Three common relationship breakdowns are discussed:

• Communication

• Money

• Sex

And often, they're deeply interconnected.

Men & Women: Different Operating Systems?

Mark and Jim explore several observations:

1. Emotional Framing & Intimacy

• Men generally don't require a specific emotional state for physical intimacy.

• Women often do.

• As men age, emotional connection and companionship grow in importance.

2. Security & Attraction

Drawing from Carl Jung's psychology, Jim shares the idea that:

• Women often require a sense of security before attraction deepens.

• Humor, tension, polarity, and emotional safety all play a role.

3. Conflict Styles

Mark reflects on how:

• Boys historically resolved conflict physically.

• Women developed advanced verbal and emotional skill sets instead.

Not better. Not worse. Different tools.

Cultural Confusion & Division

The episode touches on a broader societal tension:

• Questions around "What is a man?" and "What is a woman?"

• How ambiguity can create confusion.

• How confusion fuels anxiety.

• How anxiety fuels division.

Rather than offering hard conclusions, the conversation encourages thoughtful engagement instead of emotional reactivity.

Marriage: A Broken Model?

Jim introduces a provocative hypothesis:

• The traditional social construct of marriage may be outdated.

• Lifespans have changed.

• Expectations have changed.

• People evolve through stages.

He suggests that marriage licenses function more as legal contracts than sacred agreements, and that perhaps they should be revisited as renewable agreements.

Mark respectfully disagrees in part, emphasizing:

• Discipline.

• Sacrifice.

• The value of commitment.

• The importance of ongoing communication.

The key takeaway?

If you're not renegotiating the relationship intentionally… it will renegotiate itself unintentionally.

Key Themes From This Episode

• Self-awareness is the foundation of relational maturity.

• Differences are not defects.

• Tension is not always dysfunction.

• Communication must be proactive, not reactive.

• Masculinity and femininity both matter.

• Relationships require adjustment across life stages.

• You must pick your battles.

• Talking about hard things early prevents explosions later.

Final Reflection

This isn't an episode about "who's right."

It's about acknowledging polarity without panic.

It's about recognizing that tension exists not because something is broken… but because difference exists.

And maybe maturity isn't eliminating tension.

Maybe it's learning to navigate it.

Imperfect men having imperfect conversations about real things.

Which is the whole point.

Episode Overview

In this episode, Mark Aylward and Jim Gurulé rewind the clock and walk through the real origin story of the Imperfect Men's Club Podcast.

This conversation traces how two men met during a difficult, uncertain period, built trust through advocacy and shared values, and slowly turned candid conversations into a framework-driven podcast that has now lasted five years and more than 130 episodes.

What started as a mix of curiosity, recovery, disagreement, and whiteboard chaos eventually became a disciplined, consistent platform focused on self-awareness, structure, and honest conversations about what actually shapes men's lives.

Key Themes & Topics

1. How Mark and Jim Met

• Meeting during the COVID era through non-traditional well-being work

• Trust built through advocacy, honesty, and "I don't know, but I'll find out"

• Why agency and having the right person at the right time matters

2. Depression, Recovery, and Personal Responsibility

• Jim's experience with depression and dissatisfaction with traditional approaches

• Neuroplasticity, belief systems, and retraining the brain

• Choosing not to stay "sick for life" and taking ownership of recovery

3. From Conversations to a Framework

• Why "just shooting the shit" doesn't scale

• The early whiteboard sessions that shaped the IMC Flywheel

• The five core areas of life:

  • Life's work

  • Money

  • Relationships (men and women)

  • Well-being (physical and mental)

  • Worldview and ideology

• Why self-awareness sits at the center of everything

4. The Early Podcast Days

• Starting with a political focus and pulling back intentionally

• The importance of civil discourse without becoming a political show

• How disagreement, respect, and structure kept the show grounded

5. Consistency Over Production

• Why the first five episodes mattered more than quality

• The critical role Mark's daughter played in launching the show

• Letting go of perfection, editing, music, and polish

• How simplifying production brought the podcast back to life

6. Five Years In

• Missing only two weeks in five years

• The apprenticeship mindset and the 5,000-hour rule

• Why consistency and authenticity outlast motivation

• How repetition creates clarity, confidence, and credibility

Key Takeaways

• The right people at the right time change everything

• Structure creates freedom, not restriction

• Self-awareness is the root of sustainable change

• Consistency beats intensity every time

• Most meaningful work starts messy and matures slowly

Who This Episode Is For

• Longtime listeners curious about how IMC really started

• Men navigating recovery, transition, or reinvention

• Anyone building something without a roadmap

• Listeners who value substance over polish

What's Next

With the foundation clearly defined, Mark and Jim share their excitement about expanding the Imperfect Men's Club beyond the podcast, including deeper conversations, refined frameworks, and future advisory and coaching work rooted in five years of real dialogue.

This episode isn't about nostalgia. It's about showing what happens when two imperfect men commit to the work and refuse to drift.

Episode Summary

In this episode of the Imperfect Men's Club Podcast, Mark Aylward turns the Flywheel of Life back toward co-host Jim Gurulé. This conversation completes the third installment of a multi-part series exploring the IMC framework and how the five interconnected areas of life shape who we become.

Using the Flywheel as a guide, Jim walks through his worldview, childhood influences, relationships, money mindset, well-being, and life's work. The discussion is honest, reflective, and grounded in lived experience—touching on neurodivergence, masculinity, discipline, money beliefs, physical training, and the importance of self-awareness as the foundation for a meaningful life.

As always, the core message remains consistent: everything is connected, and neglecting one area of life eventually impacts all the others.

Topics Covered

• The Flywheel of Life framework and why every area of life is interconnected

• Worldview and how childhood, culture, and ideology shape how we see the world

• Growing up neurodivergent and how difference can become an advantage

• The role of sports, discipline, and physicality in confidence and leadership

• Relationships with men and women—and why differences should be embraced, not erased

• How early relationships echo into adulthood if left unexamined

• Money as a relationship, not just a resource

• Scarcity vs. abundance mindsets and how they affect decisions, stress, and identity

• Well-being as a combination of physical health, mental health, and self-relationship

• Rugby, structure, and training as anchors for long-term resilience

• Why self-awareness is the starting point for everything else

Key Takeaways

• Your worldview is formed early, but it can be examined and refined

• Self-awareness is not optional—it's foundational

• Men and women are different, and that difference is not a flaw

• Money carries emotional weight long before it carries numbers

• Avoiding hard conversations is often more damaging than disagreement

• Physical discipline often becomes emotional and mental discipline

• Ignoring one area of life will eventually cost you in another

Notable Quotes

• "Every area of life is interconnected—ignore one and the others eventually pay for it."

• "Money is a relationship, and most people never take the time to understand it."

• "If your primary relationship isn't right, none of the others will be."

• "Self-awareness is where everything starts. Without it, you just repeat patterns."

What's Next

This episode completes Jim's walk through the Flywheel. In the next installment, Mark and Jim plan to explore the origin story of the Imperfect Men's Club, how the framework came to life, and where IMC is headed next—including new offerings, consulting work, and the upcoming website launch.

Connect With Us

• Subscribe to the podcast

• Follow the Imperfect Men's Club on LinkedIn

• Watch for the new IMC website and consulting offerings launching soon

Tagline: The imperfection is the perfection.

Season 5 | Episode 2 A Conversation with Mark Aylward: Frameworks, Identity, and the Work of Becoming Self-Aware

Episode Overview

In this second episode of a three-part Season 5 series, Mark Aylward takes the guest seat as co-host Jim Gurulé interviews him on his background, lived experience, and the frameworks that underpin the Imperfect Men's Club philosophy.

The conversation revisits the origins of the IMC framework, often referred to as the Wheel of Life or Flywheel, and explores how self-awareness, subconscious belief systems, and life domains like money, relationships, ideology, well-being, and profession shape how men show up in the world.

This episode lays the groundwork for the advisory and coaching services Mark and Jim will soon offer, helping listeners understand not just what the framework is, but how Mark applies it in real life and real work.

Key Themes & Topics

1. The Power of Frameworks

• Why structure creates clarity instead of limitation

• How the IMC framework evolved from a whiteboard into a daily operating system

• The role frameworks play in decision-making, awareness, and growth

2. Conscious vs. Subconscious Behavior

• Why roughly 95% of human behavior is driven subconsciously

• How early-life beliefs continue to influence adult behavior

• The role of breathwork, visualization, language, and repetition in reshaping belief systems

3. The Five Areas of the IMC Flywheel Each domain is explored through Mark's lived experience:

Money

• Scarcity vs. abundance mindsets

• How childhood conditioning shapes financial behavior

• Lessons from building wealth, losing it, and rebuilding again

Relationships

• Male and female relationship dynamics

• Fatherhood, marriage, divorce, and long-term partnership

• Why differences between men and women are strengths, not problems

Role View (Identity & Upbringing)

• How childhood, geography, culture, and religion shape identity

• The long-term impact of heritage and early environment

Ideology & Worldview

• Politics as identity vs. politics as perspective

• The importance of civil disagreement

• Self-awareness as the antidote to ideological rigidity

Well-Being

• Physical health, mental health, and emotional regulation

• Lifestyle choices vs. over-medication

• Meditation, breathwork, movement, and personal responsibility

Profession

• A lifetime in recruiting, leadership, and advisory roles

• How professional identity intersects with every other life domain

• Why most career struggles are not actually about skills

Notable Takeaways

• Self-awareness is the foundation of all growth

• Most limitations are inherited, not chosen

• Alignment across life domains matters more than optimization

• Men don't need more motivation, they need better frameworks

• The goal isn't perfection, it's understanding how you actually work

Who This Episode Is For

• Men navigating career transitions or personal upheaval

• Anyone questioning long-held beliefs about money, success, or identity

• Listeners curious about the science behind behavior and decision-making

• Those considering coaching or advisory work with Mark or Jim

What's Next

• Episode 1: The IMC Framework and Its Origins

• Episode 2: Mark Aylward's Story and Perspective (this episode)

• Episode 3: Jim Gurulé's Story and Approach

Together, these three episodes offer a complete picture of the Imperfect Men's Club philosophy and how each co-host brings a distinct, complementary perspective to the work.

Episode: The Framework, the Flywheel, and What's Coming in 2026 (Part 1 of 3)

Episode Overview

In this first episode of a three-part series, Mark Aylward and Jim Gurulé lay out what's coming for Imperfect Men's Club in 2026 and revisit the core framework that has guided the podcast from the beginning.

This episode is about structure. Not the soul-crushing kind, but the kind that helps men organize the noise of life, identity, work, and relationships into something usable. Mark and Jim unpack their "Wheel of Life" framework, also called the flywheel, and explain why it matters more now than ever.

They also share updates on rebuilding the IMC website, working with AI as "amplified intelligence," and preparing to offer consulting and coaching services individually and together.

Why a Framework Matters

There's more information than ever and less clarity to go with it.

Mark and Jim argue that without a framework, life turns into mental hallucinations, reactive decisions, and identity confusion. The IMC framework acts as a container. A way to categorize experience, make sense of complexity, and have meaningful conversations without spinning out.

They describe the framework as:

• A wheel

• A flywheel

• A container

• A structure Different words. Same goal: clarity.

The Center of the Wheel: The Self

At the center of everything is Self.

Two key elements are emphasized:

1. Self-Awareness

The starting point for all growth. Especially difficult for men as they age and default to autopilot, career identity, or distraction.

2. Self-Identity

Newly emphasized heading into 2026. Who you believe you are, how that identity evolves, and how your personal brand shows up in the world. Identity isn't static. If it is, that's usually the problem.

Without awareness and identity, the rest of the wheel collapses.

The Five Areas of Life (The Wheel) 1. Profession

For men, work is often the backbone of identity.

The framework separates profession into two major paths:

• Employee

  • Corporate

  • Government / public service

• Entrepreneur

  • Business owner

  • Freelancer / owner-operator

They discuss how identity loss often happens when careers change, end, or no longer fit, and why this moment in history, especially with AI, creates massive opportunity if navigated intentionally.

2. Worldview

Your relationship with the world.

This area covers how beliefs are formed and reinforced, often without examination.

Two major influences:

• Politics

  • Framed intentionally as "red team" and "blue team" to avoid tribal trigger words

  • Emphasis on perspective over fanaticism

• Childhood

  • When and where you grew up

  • Family systems, spirituality, culture, and heritage

Worldview shapes how men interpret everything from success to conflict to purpose.

3. Relationships (People)

How you relate to others, especially men and women.

Mark and Jim emphasize that men and women are different and that understanding, not erasing, those differences is key to healthy relationships. This area explores how relational dynamics affect identity, purpose, and alignment across life.

(This section continues and deepens in future episodes.)

AI, Agents, and Accountability

AI is framed as a tool, not a replacement for humans.

Jim emphasizes the growing importance of agents. Human guides who help filter noise, provide perspective, hold accountability, and bring clarity to decision-making.

The future isn't AI alone. It's AI plus human judgment.

What's Coming Next

• A refreshed IMC website and visual framework

• Expanded content around the Wheel of Life

• Individual and joint consulting and coaching services

• Deeper dives into each area of the framework in upcoming episodes

• Personal episodes where Mark and Jim share their own lived experiences inside the wheel

Key Takeaways

• Structure creates freedom, not limitation

• Identity without reflection leads to drift

• Most problems aren't isolated. They're imbalance

• You don't need more information. You need better containers

• Nobody builds a meaningful life alone

Next 2 Episodes: Jim and Mark interview each other using the wheel as a frame for each interview

Because clarity is boring. But necessary.

Season 5, Episode 1: Self-Discipline The bridge between who you say you want to be and what you actually do.

Mark and Jim kick off Season 5 by doing what they always do best: questioning the stuff we're supposed to accept, leaning on lived experience, and dragging timeless wisdom into the present. This episode centers on self-discipline, inspired by the teachings of Jim Rohn, and explores why motivation fails but structure, identity, and self-respect don't.

Core Themes & Takeaways

1. Why Goals and Resolutions Fail

• Roughly 95% of people abandon resolutions by February.
• The problem isn't desire or intelligence.
• It's a misunderstanding of self-discipline and how it actually works.

2. Knowledge vs. Wisdom

• Knowledge is knowing what to do.
• Wisdom is doing it consistently, especially when no one is watching.
• Self-discipline is where wisdom shows up.

The IMC Framework: The Five Areas of Life

The conversation grounds itself in the Imperfect Men's Club "Wheel of Life," where Self sits at the center.

1. Profession – Work as identity and purpose
2. Relationships – With others and with time
3. Health – Physical and mental
4. Worldview – Beliefs, faith, politics, upbringing
5. Money – Scarcity vs. abundance mindset

Self-discipline touches all five whether you acknowledge it or not.

Five Jim Rohn Insights on Self-Discipline

1. Self-Discipline Bridges Vision and Reality

Discipline is the backbone of progress. Ideas don't execute themselves. You do. Or you don't.

2. Self-Respect Is Built in Private

• Every kept promise builds internal trust.
• Every skipped commitment quietly erodes it.
• Integrity counts most when no one's watching.

3. Identity Beats Emotion

• Discipline isn't about how you feel.
• It's about who you decide you are.
• Structure reflects identity, not mood.

4. Self-Leadership Begins With Resistance

• Courage isn't fearlessness.
• It's acting while fear is screaming in your ear.
• Leadership starts with leading yourself through discomfort.

5. Emotional Independence Is Freedom

• Authenticity requires disappointing people.
• "I don't know" is often the most honest answer.
• Alignment beats approval every time.

Discipline, Time, and Daily Rituals

Mark breaks down why simple, fast, low-friction routines work better than grand plans:

• Short
• Enjoyable (or rewarding afterward)
• Low cost or free

When structure is right, discipline becomes execution instead of willpower warfare.

Memorable Lines

• "Self-discipline is showing up for yourself."
• "The imperfection is the perfection."
• "You can feel resistance fully and still move forward."
• "Frameworks reduce the need for motivation."

Final Thought

Self-discipline isn't punishment. It's self-respect in action.

If your life feels scattered, it's not because you lack ambition. It's because you're letting emotion drive the car instead of identity. Build the structure. Honor your word. Let confidence catch up.

Season 5 is officially underway.

Episode 48 Show Notes

Imperfect Men's Club Podcast Recording date: December 17, 2025 Hosts: Mark and Jim

Overview

Mark and Jim close out the year by doing what emotionally mature men do in public: taking inventory. They reflect on what shifted in 2025 (in big, practical categories) and then cautiously speculate on what 2026 might demand, especially around AI, personal brand, and how you spend your finite supply of time, energy, and money.

Big Themes from the Episode

1) 2025: The Year AI Got Personal

• AI stopped being "a tech thing" and became part of everyday life for normal, semi-tech-competent humans.
• Mark frames AI as a relationship: if you give it context, it gets better, like "an infant becoming a teenager" and eventually a useful young adult.
• Jim reframes AI as Amplified / Augmented Intelligence, not "artificial," because it expands what capable people can do and removes work humans probably shouldn't be doing anyway.
• The human edge remains: the five senses, real relationships, and embodied experience.

Key takeaway: You can use it, or it can use you. Same deal as most tools. And most people.

2) Personal Brand Is Not Optional Anymore

• Mark talks about the shift from being "a company guy" to being a person with a message, experience, failures, and a lane.
• Building a personal brand becomes a way to give back, scale trust, and stay relevant in a world that rewards visibility and authenticity.
• Jim reinforces the basics: know/like/trust still runs the world, and credibility has to lead the way.

Key takeaway: Authenticity is the only strategy that doesn't expire.

3) Inventory: Time, Energy, Money (And Who Gets Access)

• Jim pushes a hard-end-of-year practice: audit your calendar, your spending, your energy, and ask: what did it produce?
• Mark prefers systems over goals: set up simple processes you'll actually do, and results show up as a byproduct.
• They discuss the uncomfortable but necessary practice of leaving things behind: habits, commitments, even people.

Notable mini-frameworks/tools mentioned:

• Gratitude letters (thank you letters with real specificity)
• Farewell letters (closing loops and moving on cleanly)
• The "Do Not Call List" (a savage little boundary ritual for 2026)

Key takeaway: If something drags you down, it's stealing your future. Politely escort it out.

4) Words of the Year

• Jim: Impermanence (nothing lasts forever, so stop wasting time and start valuing the present).
• Mark: Gratitude (his daily journal word, and a mental reset that crowds out negativity).
• Jim also brings up limerence: when your mind gets stuck looping on a person/thing and you have to interrupt the pattern.

Key takeaway: Your mind repeats what you don't resolve.

5) Quotes of the Year

A rapid-fire stack of principles they keep returning to:

• "If you're not being taken advantage of once in a while, you're not being kind enough."
• "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
• "More people, more problems."
• "We grow bitter or we grow better. It's a choice."
• "Say less, do more."
• "90% of life is showing up."
• "It's not what happens to you. It's how you respond when it happens."
• "Don't let it define you, let it refine you."
• "Be referable, be reliable, be resourceful."

Key takeaway: The older you get, the more you realize you don't need new quotes. You need to actually do the ones you already know.

2026 Speculation

• AI is here to stay, and the real variables will be regulation and energy constraints (big forces, bigger than any one person).
• Mark's 2026 focus: what he's leaving behind vs. what he's taking with him, doubling down on systems, personal brand, and daily AI use without becoming naive about it.
• Jim lands the plane on the "self" theme: self-awareness, self-reflection, self-forgiveness… the whole "self-" universe that sits at the center of the IMC framework.

Listener Challenge

Pick ONE inventory move before January hits:

• Write a gratitude letter.
• End one draining commitment.
• Start one simple system you can repeat daily.
• Create your own "Do Not Call" boundary (yes, it can be metaphorical… or not).

Closing

Mark and Jim wrap with holiday wishes and the note that this may be the second-to-last (or last) episode of the year. Reflection, clean endings, better beginnings. The usual inconvenient work of becoming a better man.

Summary

In this episode of the Imperfect Men's Club Podcast, Mark and Jim use the anniversary of Jim's father's passing to explore legacy, fatherhood, and the quiet ways men leave an impact. Jim walks through a timeline of his dad's 29,352 days on earth, overlaying major world and U.S. events with his father's life story, and connects it all back to the Imperfect Men's Club framework.

Mark shares stories about his own 97-year-old father, the gratitude that comes from growing up poor, and the urgency of capturing our parents' stories while we still can. Together, they reflect on generational differences, emotional expression in men, the meaning of work, and why every man's story deserves to be told before it's too late.

In This Episode

• Year-end reflection, impermanence, and why this season intensifies thoughts about legacy

• Jim's father's life: 1939–2019, told through a 29,352-day lens

• Using AI to build a life timeline that blends personal milestones with world events

• The Imperfect Men's Club framework applied to one man's life:

  • Profession

  • Worldview

  • Health (mental & physical)

  • Relationships

  • Money

• How poverty, war, and big historical moments shape a man's identity and values

• The quiet, stoic father who showed love through consistency instead of words

• Generational trauma, culture, and the power of understanding your grandparents' stories

• Why technology, innovation, and early "startup" work shaped Jim's dad's career and investments

• The gap between how fathers see their love and how sons experience it

• Boundaries in marriage, privacy, and what we don't get to know

• The importance of recording our parents' stories before they're gone

• Simple pieces of fatherly wisdom that end up directing a son's entire life

The Imperfect Men's Club Framework in This Conversation

1. Profession

• Jim's father as a long-term government employee, scientist, and early tech innovator

• Working on radiation imaging technology that helped change how we diagnose and treat disease

• The dignity of consistent, stable work vs more entrepreneurial paths

• "There's never a shame in work. Whatever you do, be the very best at it."

2. Worldview

• Born into scarcity at the end of the Depression and on the brink of World War II

• Growing up in a deeply patriotic era: U.S. wins the war, man lands on the moon

• Seeing himself as "American first" despite Latino heritage and different appearance

• Political intensity in his later years, especially around modern U.S. politics

• How the world events of 1939, 1949, 1959, 1969, 1979, 1989, 1999, 2009 shaped one man's lens

3. Health (Physical & Mental)

• Strong physical health for most of his life, followed by predictable decline in later years

• Lung issues and unaddressed mental/emotional burdens surfacing near the end

• The generational tendency to "push through" rather than talk about mental health

• How men's internal struggles often stay hidden behind reliability and duty

4. Relationships

• Marriage that lasted decades, with conflict that remained private and off-limits to the kids

• Raising four children with consistency, presence, and provision

• The moment Jim confronted him about never saying "I love you"

• "I'd like to get to know you better… why don't you come around more often?"

• The boundaries around his marriage: "I don't get involved in your marriage, and I don't expect you to get involved in mine."

5. Money

• Growing up with nothing during a time when poverty was normal

• Leaving his wife in a strong financial position and something for each child

• Quietly investing in tech companies like Apple and Tesla because he understood innovation

• Modeling that money is a tool, not an identity, and that stability is a form of love

Key Stories & Moments

• The 29,352-Day Life Jim calculates his father's life in days and overlays those days with major world events, revealing how much context, culture, and history shape who a man becomes.

• Coal Mines, Accidents, and Migration A coal mining accident in southern Colorado forced Jim's father's family to pack up and head to California with ten kids, shifting the entire trajectory of the family.

• Quiet Innovation, Loud Impact Jim's dad worked on early radiation imaging technology, building the electronics for cameras that would eventually help diagnose and treat serious illnesses, including saving Jim's brother when he developed meningitis.

• "You Never Told Me You Loved Me" Jim confronts his dad about never saying "I love you," only to be met with a simple, almost confused response: how could you not know? Love, to him, was shown in work, presence, and provision, not words.

• "I Don't Get Involved in Your Marriage" When Jim is sent by his siblings to "check in" on his parents' struggling marriage, his father shuts it down with one line: you don't know what's going on, and you don't need to.

• Work & Worth From dump runs with a hamburger reward to life lessons in the car, Jim's father teaches him that no job is beneath a man and that the honor is in doing it well.

• Mark's 97-Year-Old Father Mark shares how his own dad, grateful for growing up poor, now openly tells stories and passes down wisdom. At 97, every conversation and video becomes a piece of family history preserved.

Themes

• Impermanence: nothing lasts forever, including relationships and life itself

• Legacy: how a man's story lives on through his children and their understanding of him

• Generational differences in expressing love, emotion, and pain

• The dignity of work and the value of showing up consistently

• The importance of understanding your family history to understand yourself

• How big world events imprint themselves on one man's values, fears, and beliefs

• Why men must start telling their stories before someone else has to reconstruct them

Reflection Questions for Listeners

Use these to journal, or just to irritate yourself into some overdue honesty:

1. If someone mapped your life against world events, what patterns would they see in your choices and beliefs?

2. What do you actually know about your father's and grandfather's stories beyond the surface?

3. How did your family talk about work, money, and success when you were growing up?

4. Are there words you wish you'd heard from your father that you're now withholding from your own kids or partner?

5. If your story ended today, who would tell it, and what parts would they get wrong simply because you never shared them?

Takeaway

Every man has a story. Most men wait too long to tell it. This episode is a nudge to learn where you come from, appreciate the men who shaped you (even imperfectly), and start owning your own narrative before life does it for you.

Episode Overview

In this episode of the Imperfect Men's Club Podcast, Mark and Jim dive into the idea of impermanence: the simple, uncomfortable truth that nothing lasts forever. From aging bodies and shifting emotions to football seasons, jobs, relationships, and AI shaking up the world, they unpack how "everything comes to an end" can be either terrifying… or freeing.

They use their five-part framework (career, health, worldview, relationships, money) to explore how men can respond to constant change with awareness, humility, and a little more presence in the moment.

In This Episode, Mark & Jim Talk About

• Impermanence defined: why recognizing that nothing is permanent changes how you see seasons, losses, and opportunities.

• 2025–2026 as a turning point: how AI and technology are reshaping work, education, hiring, and power structures.

• The changing of seasons: from sports and business cycles to emotional and life seasons, and why 30/60/90-day windows matter.

• Aging bodies & minds: navigating mortality, watching parents decline, and choosing grace and acceptance instead of denial.

• The rise and fall of emotions: anger, guilt, broken relationships, and why expectations quietly drive so much of our suffering.

• Relationships & jobs ending: the 3–3–3 "romance rule," how seasons apply to careers and friendships, and why endings don't have to define you.

• New tech, old tech: how quickly tools become obsolete, why domain expertise matters more than code, and what happens to people who ignore AI.

• Living in the present: using impermanence as a reminder to appreciate what you have now instead of clinging to the past or trying to control the future.

• The Imperfect Men's Club framework: the five arenas of life and the core idea that "the imperfection is the perfection."

Key Themes & Stories

1. Impermanence & Seasons

• Mark and Jim riff on life as a series of 90-day seasons: sports, business, relationships, and personal growth.

• Jim shares a story from a high school football team whose season ended in heartbreak, and how he challenged them not to let the loss define them, but to let it refine them.

• "Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better" becomes a lens for handling endings and setbacks.

2. Aging, Mortality & Watching Our Parents Decline

• Mark talks about his 97-year-old dad, who's actively planning for what happens after he's gone and handling his limitations with grace and faith.

• They discuss the mental and emotional side of aging, including dementia and watching loved ones slowly fade.

• The conversation turns into a reflection on how facing mortality forces you to reassess your own life, body, and time.

3. Emotions, Expectations & Letting Go

• Mark opens up about broken family relationships, love mixed with anger, frustration, and guilt.

• Jim ties emotional swings to expectations: the higher your expectations, the more fragile your emotional state.

• They talk about the power of lowering expectations, managing reactions, and not clinging to emotions that are hurting you.

4. Relationships & Jobs as Seasons

• The 3–3–3 romance rule:

  • 3 dates

  • 3 weeks

  • 3 months as checkpoints for whether a relationship has real depth and staying power.

• They compare this to the classic 30/60/90-day structure in new jobs: by 90 days, you usually know if it's a fit.

• Friendships, marriages, business partnerships, and careers all go through phases… and sometimes, they end. That doesn't mean they were failures.

5. AI, Technology & Becoming Obsolete

• Jim frames AI as "amplified intelligence," not artificial, and explains why he's optimistic about a huge leveling of the playing field.

• Mark reflects on decades of recruiting software engineers and watching waves of technology come and go.

• They talk about how AI is shifting value away from pure coding and toward domain expertise + problem solving + critical thinking.

• Core message: if you ignore AI, you risk getting "kicked to the curb." If you engage with it, you can ride the change instead of being run over by it.

6. The Framework & Living in the Present Mark and Jim tie everything back to the Imperfect Men's Club framework:

• Career / Profession

• Health / Well-being (mental & physical)

• Worldview

• Relationships

• Money

At the center is self-awareness: noticing your seasons, your stories, your emotional patterns, and your relationship with change. Impermanence becomes a reminder to:

• Appreciate what you can do today.

• Stop clinging to "how it used to be."

• Drop the illusion that you can predict or control the future.

"The imperfection is the perfection" shows up as the ultimate conclusion: life is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes brutal… and that might actually be the point.

Reflection Questions

• Where in your life are you fighting a season that's clearly ending?

• How is your relationship with aging (body or mind) shaping the way you show up right now?

• Which emotion are you hanging onto that's quietly poisoning you?

• What's one place you could lower your expectations and instantly reduce your stress?

• How are you engaging with new technology: are you actively learning, or pretending it'll just blow over?

Call to Action

If this conversation about impermanence hit a nerve or gave you language for something you've been feeling, share this episode with another man who needs it.

And if you're listening on Apple, please leave a rating and review. It helps this imperfect little corner of the world reach more men who are trying to navigate their own seasons without pretending to have it all together.