Imperfect Strangers

Mercury is in retrograde. Amanda’s fish are very fertile, but Melissa ain’t because she thinks she’s arrived at perimenopause. Aaah. Old age. Elbows, tops of hands, necks and bottom teeth — do you know that these body parts are dead giveaways? Dead giveaaaaway that you are old. The ladies also ask the age-old question — why are men? Which leads to a discussion about how Chris and Justin, the trusted and loyal Imperfect Spouses, would be featured on an episode of Snapped if they ever cheated. *Mennapause, the title of this episode, is how Justin Beck misspelled it during a Monday Night Live so if you missed it, that’s the explanation of this stranger-friend inside joke. Forget your elbows. We’re old because we just explained an inside joke where the whole point is to not explain, but OK!

Melissa is experiencing chronic pain for the first time in her life and wow, cool OLD. There’s some talk about getting old about the face — who hasn’t stopped to examine their face in a pandemic? If you have, why? Let’s not do that. Elsewhere in this great podcast that you’re definitely gonna listen to, Amanda is looking for the ultimate, fulfilling SAHM job with unicorn hours and pay and it’s proving difficult. Then, some inspired discussion on invisible labor and the power in saying fuck that, this time is mine.

Amanda tells Melissa about her weekend anniversary trip to a tiny house in West Virginia where she and Chris are still so in love with each other and the earth that they shared a singular towel. The two also discuss the comfort and familiarity in finding your person and staying married for hella years. Amanda morphs into Drake and asks Melissa if she ever gets lonely (but not if she’s high right now). Melissa says she doesn’t get lonely even though she’s Cardi B and quick to cut a N soft A off so don’t get comfortable. Amanda, a f*ck-around-and-find-out Taurus, is also not big on unearned forgiveness. What say you stranger-friends? Is forgiveness overrated?

Amanda and Melissa welcome you with Creed-style arms wide open as they kick off the fourth season of Imperfect Strangers Podcast, your favorite podcast of all time. Come and knock on our door, and Amanda will answer because Melissa doesn’t do that, but. Sit down. Coffee? Let’s talk about porcelain veneers, Ivermectin, abortion, soccer coaching, body dysmorphia, door-to-door scammers and high-waist jeans, why don’t we? Welcome Stranger-friends. We’ve been waiting for you.

On the season three finale, Melissa and Amanda have suddenly realized that people, strangers and blood relatives and prospective bosses, might actually really listen to the show! LOL. How would they know? They’re not gonna know. They’re gonna know! That said: Amanda shares more deeply about her great interest in the occult, paranormal and her budding psychic mediumship. She recently received accurately confirmed messages from the beyond for an actual stranger-friend! Read that back! “The emoji with the head exploding” Amanda got gifts! Earth-side, Melissa shared that her in-laws discovered the podcast and spent some time watching old Real World clips on YouTube so we’re all lucky Melissa didn’t jump off a bridge. HOORAY!

In their first conversation after a rollercoaster of an emotional, hormonal and awkward Monday Night Live (if you missed it, just know the future of podcast was in danger, LOL), Amanda Lee Bong had the nerve to say she thought Adam Duritz was “spicy white” like Melissa’s husband Justin Beck so this episode opens with a BANG. The theme for today is caucasity — the wholesome kind we can all get behind like Third Eye Blind and Mazzy Star. The two discuss celebrity crushes, the era in their lives where they dressed sexy and how their sisters are churchy.

Amanda goes into a real cave. Melissa enters an emotional one. The two hold hands.

This episode, yes, you’re hearing a bass guitar underneath, is called Taupe Heels because Amanda casually mentions that she applied for a new job! Melissa wondered if she’d have to dust off real work clothes like taupe heels, but no she does not. This has nothing to do with the episode at all but a long time ago when I was on Battle of the Network Reality Stars, one of the contestants from The Amazing Race showed up to a swimming competition in taupe heels so because of that singular amazing moment, she likes saying taupe heels. Anyway, we hope you enjoy this episode where Amanda updates us on her dad’s excellent prognosis and Melissa had a restorative day at the beach.

Oh look at the time! It’s Melissa Was Right Again O’Clock as Amanda reveals that a youngin’ in her household just got a phone! *confetti* No more waiting til 8th grade! Elsewhere in the episode, as the mother of three girls, Melissa really has no concept of what it truly means to be a boy mom. Amanda, the expert in handling the rough and tumble nature of her boys, enlightens Melissa on the wrestling and sweating and breaking things. Then, they discuss white hygiene. “Pits, penis, butt.” Wash your legs and feet, grab your headphones. Enjoy.

Amanda says she’s been having feelings of living off the grid and taking up an Ace of Base level lonely life. Melissa tries to understand why she’s feeling this way. Could it be pandemic exhaustion? Through thoughtful discussion, they decide it’s that she can’t un-know what she now knows too well about our fractured American society. Plus, maybe it’s time to accept and work with (and not against) the knowledge that she’s just not a people person. Melissa loves misanthropy so welcome, Amanda! Amanda also celebrates 20 years since her first date with Chris. An accomplishment Melissa believes should end with WFT or TMJ. If you’ve been a stranger-friend for some time, you don’t even need our glossary to know what that means.