Improv On Tape

Chapters 17-19 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It’s the FINALE of season 3! All the socks, snakes, and sexual innuendos have been leading to this very wet and very climatic conclusion of book 2. Leave your PPE, your oversized wands, and your dignity at the door - you’re going in the chamber with us and you’ll never be the same…

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Chapters 13-16 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. A mysterious new character has entered the story! But is he friend or foe? Did he have a fling with Hot-Dumbledore or frame Hagrid for Murder? Come scream in his pages, babes, and find out for yourself. 

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Chapters 10-12 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Harry seduces a snake. Hermione seduces Lockhart. Ron seduces Crabbe and Goyle. 

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Chapters 7-9 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. This episode is crap full of tender-hearted wisdom, we sh*t you not. For five centuries a heavy burden has been brewing in Nearly Headless Nick, and now, with the help of Harry, his pain will be relieved. Don’t take the small things for granted, folks…

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Chapters 4-6 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Harry snorts some Floo Powder! Ginny practices her Wiz-Pop! Matthew McConaughey blocks platform 9 and 3/4! And Ron drowns a dirt baby! All aboard the flying car and full steam ahead! 

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Chapters 1-3 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. There’s a new Daddy at the Dursley's and he is not to be trifled with! Hedwig finds a shocking new use for her tongue. A self deprecating house-elf warns of the dangers ahead. The Weasley bros yank hard! And Harry escapes Privet Drive in a flying car! 

Chapters 28 & 29 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Well, Book club, it’s the season finale and you’ll never guess who Grandpa Joe murders. If you thought we went off-the-rails before, then welcome to the flying elevator! Souls are promised to 473, Mike flies to Milan, and somehow we end up back at the Buckets’! The moral of the story: Life is 50/50. “Either everything matters or nothing matters.” Enjoy yourself! And Praise be to 473!

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Chapters 25-27 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The epic side-story of Mike Teavee and Grandpa Joe reaches a violent and TINY head. There's The Great Titanium Glass Elevator, The Television Room, and the creation of the most horrible abomination of science since Frankenstein’s monster. Have the Gary's gone too far with Number 473 in this season's penultimate episode? 

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Chapters 21-24 of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. Violet Beauregarde is horribly transformed into a New American Gastro-Pub. Everyone taste-tests a blood wall. Charlie and Grandpa Joe roid-out on Fizzy-Lifting-Drinks. The Gary’s discuss representation of the Oompa Loopma community in the safe “Square-Candies-That-Look-Round” room. The Salt's are violently assaulted by room full of squirrels; the fate of their survival resting purely in the hands of an emerging She-Wolf... just like you remember from the book!!

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Chapters 17-20 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Augustus Gloop is shot into space. Grandpa Joe breaks his personal best slaughtering the Gary’s. Wonka puts beans inside beans, showcases a machine that makes Hoobastank and Chumbawamba, and gets busted by Ted Cruz from OSHA. There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going, but the rowers aren’t stopping anytime soon!

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