What if the key to unlocking your full potential wasn’t just about working harder or climbing the ladder, but about understanding the invisible forces that shape how others see you?
In today's episode, Erin dives into a transformative conversation with Alison Fragale, an expert on power, status, and the subtle art of influence.
Her groundbreaking insights from her book, Likeable Badass, offer a powerful roadmap for navigating life’s unspoken rules with authenticity, strategy, and even a little bit of fun.
In this episode, Erin and Alison unpack the dynamics of power and status, revealing why they’re more than just workplace buzzwords—they’re the foundation of how we’re perceived and what opportunities come our way.
Alison explains why respect is the true currency of influence, how life can be approached like a game, and why caring about what others think of you is not just normal but essential.
Whether you’re navigating office politics, tackling imposter syndrome, or simply striving to show up as your best self, this conversation is packed with practical wisdom you can use to level up.
Here are 5 big takeaways to chew on:
1. The Essence of Power and Status
Alison began by distinguishing power from status:
Power: Control over resources that others value (e.g., a boss deciding promotions or a parent holding car keys).
Status: The respect and value others assign to you.
She explained that while power is significant, status often precedes it. Respect and value lay the foundation for obtaining resources and authority. Without respect, people hesitate to entrust others with power, even if they technically qualify for it.
Key Takeaway: "Resources follow respect." Gaining power often starts with earning the respect of others.
2. Status as a Playful Game
Alison introduced the concept of status as a "game" using an insightful definition:
“A game is a problem-solving activity approached with a playful attitude.”
She encouraged adopting this mindset when tackling unfair or challenging situations. Though life's "games" (e.g., gaining status or respect) can be unjust, they can also be approached with creativity and enjoyment. By doing so, we can reclaim agency and find joy even in adversity.
Key Takeaway: Life may not always be fair, but embracing a playful approach can make navigating status challenges more manageable—and even enjoyable.
3. Challenging the “Don’t Care What Others Think” Mentality
Alison debunked the common advice to "not care what others think," labeling it as misleading and counterproductive.
Humans are inherently social beings, reliant on their "audience" for validation and interaction.
Instead of ignoring feedback, she encouraged understanding and influencing your audience.
This nuanced perspective bridges authenticity with strategy: staying true to yourself while recognizing how others perceive you influences your outcomes.
Key Takeaway: Don't obsess over others' opinions, but don’t dismiss them either. Learn to influence perceptions strategically while maintaining authenticity.
If you’re curious to learn more about external validation vs. Internal confidence, check out this episode, too: Episode 247: Validation vs. Confidence: What's the Real Difference? A Chat with Nicole Kalil
4. The Likable Badass Framework
Alison introduced the concept behind her book title, Likable Badass, rooted in the two critical dimensions of status:
Capability (Y-Axis): Competence, decisiveness, and the ability to get things done.
Caring (X-Axis): Warmth, sincerity, and consideration for others.
Everyone aspires to be seen as both capable and caring, and those who embody both traits earn the highest respect. The title encapsulates this balance in a catchy, empowering way.
Key Takeaway: Strive to be both capable and caring. This sweet spot not only aligns with authenticity but also enhances how others perceive and respect you.
5. Overcoming People-Pleasing Tendencies
Alison tackled people-pleasing behaviors, which often stem from a skewed emphasis on caring at the expense of assertiveness.
People pleasers prioritize others’ happiness, often sacrificing their own. She emphasized that true status requires balancing caring with self-assertion, ensuring mutual respect rather than one-sided compromise.
Key Takeaway: To overcome people-pleasing, assert your needs alongside your care for others. Authenticity paired with assertiveness builds respect without self-sacrifice.
Closing Thoughts
Alison’s insights offer a fresh lens on navigating the complexities of status and power. By blending authenticity with strategic action, we can shape how others perceive us and create the outcomes we desire. Whether you aim to become a "likable badass" or simply want to navigate life's "games" with more joy, these principles can guide your journey.
How will you use these strategies to elevate your status and unlock new opportunities? Let us know in the comments below!
No, You Hang Up First (Let’s Keep Connecting)
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Show Links
- Purchase I See You! A Leader’s Guide to Energizing Your Team through Radical Empathy here and the Resource Guidebook that was built in conjunction with it here.
Connect with Alison Fragale
- Alison’s LinkedIn
- Alison’s website
Connect with Erin Diehl x improve it!
- Erin’s website
- Erin’s Instagram
- Erin’s LinkedIn
- improve it!’s website
- improve it!’s Instagram
