Improvised Wikipedia

KIND OF A BUMMER THIS TIME Y’ALL

Who snatch that baby?

Potentially Glen’s late beloved grandfather but it probably wasn’t him unless it was?

THE GREAT BABY CAPER!

Glen shares the harrowing tale of a time he had to open an airplane door mid-flight!

Humphrey Bogart’s ghost stops by the studio for some reason.

Whatewegotta say here?

Otters are cute as hell.

Their turds have special names. What is it? Listen to the episode.

We both like otters a lot.

River otters are better than sea otters.

They’re not rodents.

Veeeeery little Buckaroo Banzai or Smashmouth talk in this one.

It was supposed to be Jon’s time to shine, but y’all done goofed it up.

We love jokes, but they make terrible submissions when we ask for topics.

We speed round some not-great audience suggestions (suggy jests).

Glen knows how to love Glen.

Jon knows Jon.

Jon doesn’t chess.

Sloths poop cute.

Be specific about your hat suggestions or we’ll call you.

Shout out to undercover agent Kathy Quick for the suggestion this week.

Rambutans are a fruit that look like weird alien balls.

They’re pretty good.

Jon’s never had one, but Glen has because he is worldly and kind.

Get em at a grocery story and try em out.

They yum yum.

This was a LOST episode from a few weeks ago. If you’re keeping track of the score (we know you aren’t) then this explains the jump after the last live episode.

Also this is a great episode, KEVIN.

Fish sticks!

We stand up to some English usurpers trying to lay claim to this American classic.

John Paul Coulter should play the Gorton’s Fisherman in commercials and for our amusement.

It’s when your brain makes a peanut butter jelly sandwich in the wrong order.

It’s in a great Rilo Kiley song!

Ghosts still aren’t real!

The worst movies to have on the TV when you have sleep paralysis are Caddy Shack and The Hunt for Red October.

Is The Babadook about sleep paralysis? Probably not.

Tell Jon about your sleep paralysis episodes but not Glen. Jon has empathy and free time.

Jon talks a lot about pee in this one, so if that’s your thing… congrats?

They’re lines in Peru that are carved into the ground to make big pictures you can see from high up.

Glen and Jon both agree that Space Balls is weak, but the “combing the desert” gag is perfect.

Glen lost his sense of whimsy.

The easiest explanation is usually the right one, so they’re probably just lines that people cut into the ground because they had a big flat area and thought it was cool. We’re amazed they didn’t make a dick one.

Glen slips in a quick explanation of the Drake equation and the Fermi paradox.

The Nazca Lines are now a Jon and Glen World Heritage Site.

An important update about our standings on the Niger podcast charts.

Glen wears sunglasses because he’s a BigTime Boy.

Two spacey eps in a row, so Glen’s doing a lot of the heavy lifting again.

Black holes are space toilets.

Jon drops a Coriolis Effect reference.

Bill De Blasio, Jon, and Glen all love ska.

Star go boom boom pow then gets teeny tiny and is a toilet now.

Thanks to Aliya Brown for the suggestion this week.

Glen touts his credits to try to flesh out his non-existent Wikipedia page. Jon needs more credits.

Glen has worked as a professional science writer covering space news, and really should have done better on this episode.

The telescope was named after astronomer Edwin Hubble.

When the Hubble first launched NASA realized they goofed it and astronauts had to go fix it.

Sandra Bullock probably jumps from the Hubble to the ISS in Gravity, but Glen didn’t see it because it’s too scary.

“Is it safe?”

Getting new glasses can be stressful.

Feeling good is good.

We got a hot suggy gest this week.

Glen breathes into the microphone weird this time. (Sorry.)

The boyz lock into some hard choices early and stick with them.

Glen does not care for cake, and will neither seek it out or slap it out of your hand.

An intern is taken to task.

We fucks wit some bread, but danishes are right out.

A lot of tangents this week because Jon and Glen don’t know what they’re talking about.

Glen’s old gym teacher wrestled a bear once. Don’t do that.