Before I married, I once chatted with a 36-year-old man on the Internet who asked if I would like to see his requirements for a mate and marriage. “Sure‚” I typed. “Send them over.” His request was curious, but I was amused when I received his list for the perfect wife.

In today’s podcast, I share what I learned about this guy and I also share 23 questions you can ask yourself to identify if you are in an toxic relationship or if you meet a man how to tell if he could be abusive.